If you have to get fired… Get fired for not making your quota, or for losing the Johnson account. But don’t get fired for trying to sell Xanax to an undercover shopper. You’re better than that.
This piece is based on an AskReddit thread. Link on the last page.
1. I had an employee apologize to two different tables forforgetting to put their food order in. They had been waiting like 45 minutesand nothing had been entered into the system.
We looked at the camera system because he had been acting sketchyall day. When we looked at the security footage, we realized that he hadactually gone outside and fired up a joint. He was apparently too high toremember to put in the order.
It was his first, and last day.
2. Newish server wasdealing with a complaint a customer had with their BLT. Rather than having metalk to the table he took a bite out of it and said, “Im not seeing the problem.”
3. Every day at lunch, she would drink roughly half of her JimmyJohns (or whatever) soda, then take it with her to the bathroom to fill it backup with whiskey. She did a pretty good job covering up the smell, and since shedid it from day 1 it wasn’t immediately obvious that she was getting drunk.
Found out on day 4 when she knockedher full cup over and we all got covered with booze.
4. We kept finding stockdiscrepancies, we couldn’t figure out for a while what was happening. The counton certain items was out (system said we had stuff that wasn’t on the shelf).
Eventually found that when a customer bought something with cash, later that same day the same cashier would refund the transaction for cash with no customer around.
They were fired on the spot – but couldn’t be charged criminally because the way the security camera was positioned, they’d been able to block the view of the cash drawer with their body and you couldn’t actually see them take the money out of the till.
Even though we knew exactly when the false transactions were posted, footage placed them right there doing ‘something’ and intentionally blocking the view at that exact time, there’s only one way everything added up but they still got away with it.
5. My manager had to fire someone for doing cocaine inthe toilets and then trying to gouge his own eyes out. I guess thats whatworking at a call centre can do to someone.
6. Offered a job to a candidate, but had to step outof the office to grab some paperwork. Came back and a bus pass that was on thedesk was missing. Newly hired employee stole it. I asked him to return itbecause a previous candidate dropped it and he said he needed it more than theydid and walked out.
7. I had an employee lock another employee in a closetone time. The person that was trapped called the police from inside the closet.
It was quite an HR nightmare.
8. I was assistant manager at a restaurant for a while and one of the newer bussers had called in 3 times in his first two weeks, asking for the night off.
He called in on Saturday telling me he was deathly sick andcouldn’t even get out of bed.
Around 9pm after the dinner rush one of my servers ask me to gocheck on table 42. I turn the corner and there is the ‘sick’ busser stoned outof his mind with two buddies, eating.
9. Boss had to fire alady in our office because she lost her “marbles” when someone ateher bagel from the fridge. She literally had a tantrum, like a toddler.
Also,the girl who ate it, ate it by mistake. She thought it was a bagel from theoffice breakfast we had earlier that same morning. Now, I absolutely hate itwhen people eat my lunch, but the girl who ate the bagel profusely apologized.Even stated she would go and buy her a new one right on the spot.
But tantrumlady couldn’t let it go. So, that ended up being her last night.
10. New guy, around 20 years old or so, called in sicksaying he thinks he had a stroke. Since he lived across the street from thestore where we worked, we all then stood and watched through the store’s glassdoor as he packed up his truck with beach gear and drove off with hisgirlfriend.
Fired the next day.
11. We had a secretary,and we were all curious as what she really did during the day since it seemedlike nothing got done. I ended up giving her lists to complete but she wouldthrow them in the trash.
I got fed up andlooked at her computer at the end of the day. Which was probably crappy of me,but whatever. What I found on her computer shocked me.
We found out she was advertising herself as a sex worker online, and corresponding with clients using her company email.
12. One day at an old job, we got a call from acustomer complaining that her credit card statement didn’t match her receipt.It was $5 over. We got another call later that day saying the same thing. Lateron, a dude walked in to complain… same thing. Two more people came in later.
Their waiter had added $5 to each of their tips… they were all at the sametable. Idiot. He was fired on the spot, rightfully.
And the customers got seriousgift certificates.
13. Had a server drink out of the customer’s Dr. Pepperand Coke to see which was which. At the table, in front of them.
14. Back in my days working at a used car dealership,we had a teen come in and test drive a Corvette.
Anyway, the kiddrives it around our set loop once, and is being a little unsure on if hewants to get it or not; he says it doesn’t really drive as well as he thoughtit would.
My salesman toldhim it was user error, and he’d prove it to him. They went out for another looparound, with the employee driving it.
He managed to get pulled over doing 135 (MPH) in a school zone, got arrested if I recall correctly. Needless to say, he was not welcome back at our dealership. However, to his credit, the teen did buy the car.
15. Boss had to fire a salesclerk because she stole computer duster from the office and left the salesfloor during her shift to hide in the supply closet and get high with it.
16. Two new employees got into a physical altercationbecause one claimed the other wasn’t “hood” enough. They were twofemales working an office job, absolutely ridiculous.
17. Hired a girl to work in a bagel store, who on herfirst day told me she couldn’t touch any of the meats because she was vegan.
Had another guyshow up for work his first day, was doing just fine, seemed to be good with thejob. I went to the office to get some paperwork for him to fill out, and he wasjust gone. Never came back, didn’t steal anything, no explanation at all.
The bad one was hadto fire a girl for not showing up for several days in a row. I saw in anewspaper the next week that she had been in jail the whole time because shehad locked her kids in a closet while she was buying drugs.
18. I used to manage a long-termcare facility. Got a call one night from a resident telling me that the newnight time worker was acting weird. This was about. I called the supervisor andasked how the night was going. She told me that “yea ‘Sally’ wassick”. Something didnt seen right. So I put on my shoes and headed in.
When I showed up, I took one look at ‘Sally’ leaning against the wall, and asked her to come into my office. I asked her if she had been drinking. “I never drink at work” she slurred at me. I told her I had to have her blow into a breathalyzer. No surprise; she was loaded.
Then she admitted she and her friend had been doing shots up until about 10 PM. “But I’m not drunk! I stopped and ate almost 2 hours ago so it’s all out of my system”. Nope. Doesn’t work that way. “Sorry Sally, but I need to let you go. Call someone to come get you.” I told her.
“Oh that’s ok I drove in, she said. (continued on the next page…)
I had to basically fight her to keep from driving.
She then asked what time she should come in tomorrow.
“Sally, you no longer work here. Coming to work intoxicated is nottolerated.” Oh. Really? Yes. Really. Please call someone, who has not beendrinking, to come get you.
She called about 16 hours later asking me for her next week schedule. She didn’t remember being at work and getting fired.
19. Having sex with an underage employee, hitting anotheremployee, possession of drugs, selling drugs, animal abuse (this was a petstore). What else? Putting fresh water goldfish into salt water fish tank. Ohand telling me you can handle any animal only to break down and cry when youhave to feed a snake.
20. Used to be a supervisor at a big store in college.Other supervisor overhears an employee telling someone he has a joint in hispocket for later. My boss calls the employee into the back office to discusswith HR. HR rep asks him if he does indeed have pot. Response????? “Nope,I smoked it already.” Almost died laughing.
21. Guy hired to manage a store in a mall REFUSED to park in employee parking.
As I’m sure everyone knows, mall employees have designated parking places, far from the choice spots near mall entrances. This guy refused to park there, and every time he parked illegally, the store got fined $100. And he parked in customer parking Every. Damn. Day.
He was called out on it, the policy was explained over and over. He got written up. He was told that on the next infraction he would be fired. And he did it the very next day.
Was totally blindsided when we actually fired him.
22. Oooh I’ve got a few…
Fell asleep on a ladder on the sales floor.
Fell asleep during day 1 orientation training videos.
Doing drugs in the bathroom.
Getting into a shouting match with a customer right in front of the company President (Fortune 500 company).
23. My college town hamburger joint gets busy as hell on the weekends. We had a five man crew on a Saturday night and about an hour and a half into service I notice my fry boy is taking a helluva long time bringing back frozen appetizers from the cooler. I stomp to the back to yell at him, threw open the walk-in door. This short Irish leprechaun-looking dummy is having sex with the new dish girl!
Fired him after the dinner rush.
24. We hired a bunch of guys and sent them to the US on a contract. Told them all that the worksite policy was to do random drug testing so that they had to sign safety contracts in that regard.
Only a few days into the contract, one of the workers had scored some meth and tested positive on a random test. He copped to the whole thing and was immediately sent back to Canada in disgrace.
25. Retail. Merch order was coming in. Asked him to perform a specific task related to the order. I went to follow up on a few other things. I come back. He is eating Cheetos walking around the store.
I ask him how he is doing with his task. Tells me hasnt started it. I explain why it was important to do it at that moment. Curses me out in front of coworkers and customers. GM fired him next day due to complaints about incident. He was my best friend.
He married and had a baby and all that jazz… haven’t heard from him since that day.
26. Every year during the holiday season, I’d warn the new hires, “listen, no matter how tempting it is, don’t steal a customer’s gift card. We can track it, I will track it and if I catch you, you will get fired. Every year people try it, every year people get fired. Don’t do it.” They do it anyway.
27. He stole a bunch of bananas. Seriously. It was a college dining hall. He was an employee of the dining hall, and got free meals while on-shift.
He was not working that day, walked into the serving area, hid a bunch of bananas in his bag, and tried to pass the cashier only paying for what was on his tray. When confronted and asked if he “had forgotten anything, maybe in his bag?” He denied having anything else.
Fired on the spot. The worst part, he was on a meal plan (a kind of debit system, except you never get the money back at the end of the semester if you don’t spend it). He had plenty of money for the semester. I have no idea why he felt the need to steal bananas.
28. Girl decides to start stealing some of our products from the warehouse and sell them on eBay… as brand-new, with factory warranty. It only took a couple of weeks before we started getting calls for tech support for products with serial numbers we did not have registered as “sold” in the system. Brief investigation leads straight to her.
She is fired (of course), and legal action pursued, but the sad angle to the story is that her father worked there too, and we were forced to make him stay at home with no pay until it could be determined beyond any doubt that he wasn’t involved.
29. I fired an employee for being seen on camera throwing silverware and plates into the dumpster instead of washing them in the automatic dishwasher. She was… wait for it… hired to wash dishes.
30. I used to manage a pizza chain. Long day at work was coming to an end when I told a new guy to vacuum the dining area. Came back ten minutes later and heard the vacuum running but couldn’t see it or the new guy. I looked over the bar and saw the new guy vacuuming while laying down. I really wanted to give him points for creativity but he had been horrible all day so I let him go.
31. Not me but a buddy from college who was a fleet manager for a trucking company. Trucker comes into his office and says “woo, I barely made it. Went over my max hours and had to run a fake logbook to get here on time.”
He was like “Dude, you’re totally fired.”
OK, it happens, guys are under pressure and they run a fake logbook from time to time. But don’t walk into your boss’ office and brag about it. He had to fire him. He had no choice.
32. Guy stole my headphones. They were identical to the headphones the company had purchased for him – he just “wanted two pairs.”
33. Had an employee (male around 22 years old), blatantly and apparently with some force, grab and “jiggle” the breasts of a 16 year old female employee. He did not speak English and used fairly obscene hand gestures to convey his “defense.” His reason for fondling a teenager? “Her breast were very large and he couldn’t believe it.”
34. I knew someone at a sandwich shop who did NOT get fired for going to the washroom and taking off his pants and underwear.
He was making sandwiches wearing only an apron and shirt.
The manager laughed at him. I think the entire store must have been on drugs.
35. Went outside and smoked a joint… while the district and regional manager were there doing inventory.
36. I used to work at a popular coffee chain and we had this supervisor who was an actor in all these local community theater things and wanted to get into stand up comedy. Well, if somebody was funny he obviously got ticked off that he wasn’t the one in the limelight.
A new guy was hired who was really funny and supervisor was always being a jerk to him, giving him the shittiest jobs and picking on him. One night, supervisor is being a complete asshole and a bunch of us pipe up to tell him to chill out and he’s being a jerk.
Something snapped. (continued on the next page…)
Supervisor absolutely lost it, went in the backroom and grabbed a bunch of frozen donuts and just came out and was throwing them at funny guy angrily and just swearing at him and berating him. Then he just walked out the back door and walked off down the street.
We all thought he quit on the spot but he just went to smoke a cigarette and came back 10 minutes later. By that point, someone called the manager and she came in and canned him on the spot and he broke down crying in what had to be the most pathetic, snot ridden scene I’ve ever witnessed.
37. He made it to lunch break on his first day. That was when we caught him, on the way to his car, carrying a ton of stolen toilet paper. His excuse? “He didnt have any at home.”
38. Forging a tip on a receipt. Like adding $20 wasn’t going to get caught.
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