Not all couples have an ‘E for Everyone’ story of how they met. Sometimes, they can be quite lewd!
Below are 21 stories of couples who met in…shadier circumstances, and why they can never tell their family!
1. Was sitting in a bar at last call getting ready to leave, bar maid says: “Don’t leave yet, I have some acid and I love to do it when I trip.”
Together for 25 years. She past on last year and I miss her so much.
2. She called me to let me know my (now-ex) wife was cheating on me with her boyfriend. We started dating a few months later, now together over 8 years.
3. I met my husband at a strip joint. I was making sure my thigh high fishnets were even before going on stage and caught him staring at me with his mouth hanging open. I laughed and rolled my eyes. He closed his mouth and grinned back.
He tipped me a 20 while I was on stage and I sat with him the whole night laughing and talking. He tipped me every time I was on stage but never asked for a dance and I never left his table unless I had to. I only made $120 that night.
20 years and two kids later, he passed away right before our 17th anniversary.
4. We met at a BDSM/fetish club. We were briefly introduced and within 5 minutes he had me blindfolded, said nasty things to me, and hit and pinched me until I cried. A lot.
We’ve been blissfully married for 15 years now.
5. I was drunk acting like a dummy at a Halloween party.
I had never seen him before and took a fancy to him. By the end of the night we were doing it, and 4 months later we were dating. It’s been 2 years since.
6. Met my boyfriend at the strip club I was working at. It was his birthday and his buddy paid for him to go to the champagne room with me. I didn’t really do extras, but after talking for like three hours I decided I really liked him. And we’re still together four years later.
7. Roamed Tinder for a few hours and decided to try out being a ‘dick pic’ guy.
Got a positive response from a cute girl and ended up hitting it off really well with her. We’re now engaged after 3 years! She still gets the occasional dick pic.
8. I actually met my husband at work, but…
I had recently dated and broke up with a guy I had been crushing on for years. I decided I was going to have a fling. A one night stand. My boss introduced the new guy to me and said “She will show you everything.” Hell yes, I will! After all, he had a cute butt.
He just never went home. We dated for almost 3 years, have been married for 24. Have a 21 year old child too. Still love him and he still has a cute ass. My first and only attempt at a one-night stand. Failed miserably.
9. Started dating a stripper I met at the club. It’s been like 3+ years now. It’s amusing to watch us squirm when people ask us how we met.
10. We tell people that as soon as we laid eyes on each other, we went looking for a bed together. The truth is I worked at an outdoor ed camp, she came as a chaperone for her niece’s 6th grade class, and their cabin was short a bed so we had to go find an extra one.
But, married 25 years now.
11. We had been friends for 7 years, never talked about dating. We go to a bar one day, have a few, and I send my brother a selfie saying “hey, remember her?” He responded with “bang her.”
I try to hide the text but she says “no no what does it say?” I show her the text and she says: “why not?”
That woman is my wife now.
12. Was out for my birthday one night, obviously I wanted to get funky so I went to find a coworker who I knew I could get it on with (had done a few times before).
Instead, she introduced me to her friend who almost immediately rammed her tongue down my throat. Not long after that she dragged me to the girls toilet and we did the dirty before getting kicked out of the club. Walked her home because I’m a “gentleman” then we did it in the back of her car.
9 1/2 years later we’re engaged and have a 2 year old son. Also, she hates that story.
13. Met at a party, made out so that some other creepy guy would stop talking to her.
We exchanged numbers, met for drinks a couple days later, went back to her place.
We clicked instantly but spent a couple weeks keeping it casual because each of us didn’t want to freak out the other person by jumping into things too quickly. We’ve been together seven years all told, married for the last two.
14. Bought my first house. I figured I would be single forever. Decided to throw my own house warming party. Friend of a friend invited a good looking lady and introduced us. Fast forward to a few too many drinks, a few flirts, some conversation, and I got lucky. Started with some lovin in the bathroom then to the bedroom to finish. Partied for awhile and I suggested she better just spend the night. Been happily married for 12 years and have two kids.
15. I have a gay friend who met his SO in Miami. He was on the 2nd floor balcony, naked, watching for guys. He caught the attention of a guy waiting for the bus. He was invited up and they sexed. The next morning he had to drive him home since he missed his bus.
They tell family they met at the grocery store.
16. My girlfriend and I had been dating for a while, but we finally went serious at a Christmas dinner party. I had eaten a pork chop for lunch that had been incubating in my car for 6+ hours. I added some red wine to the mix at the party, then shook it up with my girlfriend for our first night together. The evening finished with me violently blowing purple pork chunks all over her porch.
17. I met my now-wife at a party at someone’s house in the country where there were several hundred people in attendance, two months before graduation. There were kegs aplenty.
My best friend was in the band, and he took my request when I saw someone I wanted to dance with. We took things outside and walked into an unfenced field, both pretty drunk.
We slipped on a grassy hillside and fell down together. Pants came off in no time. She had a very unusual last name and I spent half the remaining night in a drunken haze trying to remember what it was, and the other half trying to find it in a phone book.
The graduation was high school graduation. She was my high school sweetheart. That was almost 43 years ago.
18. My time to shine! The first night I met my wife we hiked for hours on the hills surrounding our hometown. We explored a deep cave without a flashlight. As the sun was rising we took off all our clothes and ran through the tall grass as the mist rose above the field and the dew stuck to our bodies. Fell asleep next to each other naked.
That was 22 years ago.
19. We met on FetLife – basically a kinky version of Facebook.
We tell our parents we met on our college’s Facebook page.
20. She was on the Stairmaster at the gym wearing one of those 80s/90s style aerobics leotards.
The aerobics machines were all against a long, mirrored wall, facing into a long, narrow room. I was using the chest fly machine across from her, looking in the mirror, enjoying the way her glorious gluteous muscles swayed and flexed each step up. I was on my 56th or 57th rep when I looked up at her face and realized she was looking right at me. She knew exactly what I was doing, and she was smiling. My pecs were sore for three days, but we’ve been together for nearly 25 years.
21. At a club me and guy friend were at, he brings a girl straight back to my place. We both ended up going to town on her. In the morning, she couldnt find her phone charger, so I got her contact information and we stayed in touch. And bam here we are today.
22. My fiancee and I met working for a large manufacturer of sex toys. I was running the email marketing and she was hired as a copy writer.
23. I used to transfer porn videos to my iPod and delete them as soon as I was done.
A classmate once casually asked if she could borrow my iPod while we were waiting at a bus stop. She opened videos and immediately returned it back looking at me in disgust.To my surprise, the video menu still showed the thumbnail of porn vids from the day before.
Fast-forward 6 years, she is now my girlfriend and we will be married soon.
24. Went down to the beach on the 4th of July for some heavy drinking and wiffleball. A cute blonde girl walked up to me and said “you look like lieutenant Dan…with legs” and then wondered off. A mutual friend of ours walked up and told me it was her first time doing mushrooms.
I decided to take some mushrooms and tracked her down a little later. Best decision I ever made. We’ve been together for nine years now.
25. I was working as a waitress. For a while I was in an incredibly abusive messed up relationship, and one of the other waitresses, a good friend, would often discuss it with me. Another coworker had overheard some things, and she had misinterpreted it; she thought I would just sleep with anyone.
Long story short, she set me up on a blind date with a friend of hers, who just happened to be an awkward 20-something year old virgin. She assumed I’d take his V-card on the first date (I didn’t) and then we’d never see each other again. We’ve now been together for 7 very happy years.
26. Bumped into a classmate at a house party, she was incredibly high on acid and asked me to look after her. We ended up both taking enough to sedate a rhinoceros and having the best sex either of us have ever had. It’s been smooth sailing since then.
27. I had a sex blog where I posted stories about rough sex and BDSM – she was a reader who used to regularly leave comments. We started swapping emails until she invited me to visit for a weekend, then things got real.
28. Went on a few dates in 2015 but she stood me up on date number 3 for no reason. Blew it off, didn’t worry about it, until early this year she messaged me asking to meet.
We meet up, I’m mad at her a little because of what happened last year, so I angrily kiss her (hey, it sounded good to me). She kisses back with a similar energy, we end up alternately doing it, sleeping and making out in the back of a computer cafe from 10pm to 7am in the morning.
2 months later I ask her to be my girlfriend, and the sexual adventures have only gotten better.
29. My lady and I had the same group of friends, but she and I barely knew each other. One night, one of her female friends and us got drunk and her friend suggested that if I were to go get her cigarettes and condoms we could all bang.
I asked if she was down and got a nod. Probably the fastest I have ever walked to a gas station in my life. I got back and they held up their end of the bargain until a roommate yelled that we were being too loud and we had to stop.
The girl who is now my girlfriend asked if we should go finish up at her place. The friend who originally had the idea said she was going to pass out. I said I was game. Went back to her house and banged for the rest of the weekend.
We’ve been together 2 years.
30. My parents lied to me for years. They told me they met while they were in college. As it turns out, my father was in the navy. Stationed on the west coast. My mother lived in Washington DC.
My father was with my mom’s roommate. Dad comes back to see family in CT, takes a ride down to DC to see his lady friend. As it turns out, lady friend found someone else, and passed my dad off to my mom. Dad gets there, everyone is in a jolly mood, they start partying. It doesn’t end for 2 weeks.
They claim “it was the 70’s, we were just having a good time.” 10 days into this party, My mom ended up passing out on a commuter train when she finally had to go back to work. Dad came to pick her up, they went back to the party. Eventually my father goes back to the west coast, my mom comes to visit a few months later. He proposes as my mom gets off the plane. They’ll be celebrating 38 years together next April.
31. I was dragged out of the house by my buddy to meet up with some girl he liked and her friends. I really didn’t want to go but he kept telling me that it was going to be awkward if he was the only guy there in a group of girls. I went along, we got to the bar, I introduced myself to the group of girls but one of them didn’t stay anything or stand up. She just sat there on this swing (it was an outdoor bar with bench swings). So I immediately thought, “That girl is lame.”
I end up drinking alone and drunkenly stumbling around the bar until I end up back at that swing. Low and behold, this girl is still sitting there, this time alone. I decide to go see why she’s such a bummer and plop down next to her on the swing… (continued…)
I then lean over and say “Hi, we didn’t get to meet earlier” in a sarcastic tone. She looks over and mouths something to me. I yell, “WHAT?” to which she mouths the same thing again. So drunk me yells, “We are in a bar, you have to talk louder”. Then the music cuts out for a seconds, she leans in and says, “I can’t talk very loud, I had surgery on my throat for my cancer” and the only thing I could think to say back was, “OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST BEING A DOWNER! DO YOU WANT A DRINK?”
Later that night I asked for her number in a taco bell. She gave me the wrong number. I ended up seeing her out again a couple weeks later (sober) and slowly started to win her over. 5 years later we are married.
32. This girl I had met texted me asking if I wanted to come swimming. A bunch of our friends were there, but afterwards only me and my friend and two girls wanted to stay out and drink.
We all went back to my friends house and somehow it came up that the girls would kiss if me and my friend did. I gave my buddy a peck on the cheek and the two girls made out. The two girls told us they would match whatever we did, at which point, my friends stoned roommate came wandering into the kitchen and hollered “you two should touch penises so they have to scissor.”
So naturally, we whipped out… (continued…)
Our penises and slapped them and the girls were immediately out of their element. They asked if they could just fool around topless instead so we agreed. After a few minutes of them fooling around, I grabbed one of the girls clothes and took off out the front door.
She chased me and when she went for the clothes I kissed her. We made out and ended up going back inside and having sex on the couch. Five years later and we’re married and she’s pregnant.
33. My now-wife and I met 7 years ago on the OkCupid dating site – that part we tell people. The part we generally leave out (at least with family and coworkers) is that our oh-so-romantic first date was just a playful meetup arranged after less than 10 messages to each other, nothing more and nothing less.
I went to her apartment, we were making out 5 minutes later, I saw her boobs for the first time 5 minutes after that, and we had done it for the first time 10 minutes after that. We didn’t even exchange last names.