Everybody, at some point in their lives, gets faced with an unfair double standard. We’ve all been there.
Here are people’s most frustrating double standards they’ve had to deal with.
Many thanks to the Redditors who responded. You can check out more answers from the source at the end of this article.
1. When it’s over, it’s bad news.
Women are entitled to alimony at a MUCH higher percentage, even when she’s the primary bread winner.
The idea that a divorced women has the right to a standard of living consistent to when you were married is gross. No one is entitled to a standard of living, that’s life. That we can be divorced and I can lose my job but still have to pay to keep you living how we were when we were married and I was employed…its insane.
2. Sometimes guys just want to cuddle…
Men do not want sex 24/7, maybe some do, but I imagine most don’t.
And I used to really hate it in my last relationship where if my girlfriend turned down sex it was totally normal and ok and I need to respect her wishes but if I turned down sex it had an incredible emotional effect on her because all men always want sex and if I don’t want sex it must be because I no longer find her attractive.
Now, that relationship wasn’t the most healthy give and take in the world but I still feel like in the back of every woman’s mind that if their boyfriend turns them down they’re probably feeling this even just a little.
3. Yeah, that’s not cool…
I did a lot of things for my boyfriend at uni (cleaned his room, cleaned his toilet, made him food, etc) but as soon as he made me the occasional cup of tea? Well, our housemate started openly accusing him of being “whipped” , “less of a man for bowing down” and that forced him into making me tea (whilst making his own may I add, not just mine). Yeah, we don’t live with him anymore.
4. Some things people just don’t want to acknowledge…
That part of being a man is being disposable and no one caring if your life ends up ruined.
We hear talk all the time about the gender earnings gap, women’s right to bodily autonomy (via abortions and access to birth control), and other women’s issues, and those are all important things to discuss. There are also some things we don’t hear about as often:
What we don’t hear as often is the fact that 84% of the homeless are men, 92% of workplace fatalities happen to men, 91% of people in prison are men, etc.
We talk about the subtle forms of discrimination in society that result in women choosing to pursue careers which don’t compensate them financially the same way that careers popular with men do – but we never talk about the subtle forms of discrimination that cause men to ruin their lives at a rate nearly an order of magnitude higher than women.
5. Some people just want to be there for others…
As a male teacher it really makes me mad that I can’t console any student in a nurturing way, because its frowned upon to give a student a hug. On the contrary a female teacher can literally have a student sit on her lap during read aloud, I do this I’m on a one way ticket to the dog pound.
6. Really? Sports are for everyone. Seriously.
Me as a woman: “I’m a Seahawks fan”
Men: “Really? What’s Pete Carroll’s blood type? Who was the second string left tackle in 1982? How many tickets sold at the Seahawks-Dolphins game in 1996”
Like come on guys…. you don’t know that stuff about your teams either. Same goes for video games.
7. Not every guy you don’t like is a creep.
As a woman, I can’t stand how other women throw the word ‘creep’ around when referring to a guy that they don’t find attractive.
I’ve encountered real male creeps before. And by ‘creep’, I mean, guys that don’t back off when I’ve given clear signs that I’m not interested, don’t respect my boundaries, taking up skirt photos/videos, getting angry/violent when I turn them down, stalking me, etc.
If a guy is unattractive, he’s not a creep; he’s just unattractive. I can’t stand hearing stories from female friends about them getting hit on by a guy that isn’t their type/don’t live up to their standards of attractiveness and writing him off as a creep.
I feel like it cheapens the word ‘creep’ when there are REAL creeps out there who truly deserve the title.
I guess the male equivalent would be guys writing girls off as ‘crazy’, which is just as frustrating.
8. Yeah, that’s not cool.
One night in a bar, this incredibly drunk woman started grinding on me while I was just trying to sit and drink a beer. Rubbing all over my pant leg, and generally being disgusting and inappropriate.
While this was happening, I thought “If the roles were reversed, security would be tossing me out the door head-first.” Instead, people just laughed.
9. Some men just like kids, big whoop.
Women are supposed to love children. Men who love children are pedos.
I’m a childfree woman in my thirties. Have nothing against them, I just don’t want my own, and prefer not to baby-sit (although I still do sometimes for friends and family). People still assume that I’ll change my mind, that I should jump at the chance to spend time with children, or that there is something inherently wrong with me.
On the flip side, if men really want kids, want to work with kids, or love baby-sitting – they’re eyed with suspicion. It’s one of the double-standards that I think has a negative effect for both genders.
10. Men can be nurses too y’all!
When a man is a nurse people think and many times say in their face “Couldn’t become a doctor, huh?”
It’s just incredibly infuriating.
Becoming a nurse was just always what I wanted. Not every person in the medical field wants to be a doctor.
It’s degrading, and just shows people’s ignorance.
11. Being a dad is a full-time job.
I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of my wife and I’s 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the “Why doesn’t he have a job” and “He’s a deadbeat dad” routine but if I was a woman I’m sure I’d hear about how mothers work so hard as housewives.
12. All bodies are beautiful.
Women having to shave their whole body otherwise we are branded as unclean and disgusting by men who have hair all over their body.
Literally men calling women disgusting for not shaving their armpits while they wear a singlet bearing their armpit hair for all to see.
13. What does it mean to be shallow?
If a guy turns down a woman because of the size of her breasts, body type or over all appearance he is being shallow but if a woman turns down a guy because of his height, it’s ok….
Seriously I am a girl and this makes me so annoyed!
14. Cooking is fun? News to me!
OK, one thing that bugs me is how women are expected to be great cooks and guys not so much. In fact, my parents discouraged me growing up to learn how to cook until I was a young adult because they told me I needed to be motivated to find a wife to cook for me.
Now that I am older and actually enjoy cooking, I think it is a stupid double standard. If anything, both guys and girls SHOULD both learn how to cook. It is a useful life skill to have. And it is fun.
15. All that should matter is the quality of the work, at the end of the day.
When I (and other ladies) make a really cool scientific discovery, it’s all “woman scientist” blah blah and talk about how I ‘sacrificed family’ or juggled family…etc etc etc
Why can’t it just be “scientist” and “because they are smart and worked hard?” Like with dudes?
16. It’s good to be the boss, but not this way.
Men being loud and slightly aggressive is good and being assertive. Women doing the same makes them bossy.
17. You need to be aware of the other person’s state of mind.
Drunken 18 year old woman: Can’t consent to sex.
Drunken 18 year old man: Can consent to sex.
I’m a feminist, and I think this double standard is crap. If you or your partner are slurring, staggering, or have thrown up, you are too drunk to consent. That is the standard that should be taught. Leave gender out of it!
18. Everybody likes toys!
Girl has vibrators or other toys, its normal.
Guy has those toys and he is a weird loser.
19. Yeah, what’s up with that!
I hate the tv portrayal that if a man cheats it’s because he’s an jerk and heartless but if a women does it’s scandalous and it’s because her husband must either treat her bad or is just never around.
20. Nope, it’s called being a parent.
If I am out somewhere with the kids without my wife, I am “giving mommy a break” and “having a special day” with the kids. No, dummy, we’re just going to the grocery store.
21. So true. Can’t let it bottle up.
I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of softy and if a woman does it’s normal.
We are all humans and we all have the same emotions that aren’t good to bottle up.
22. Nobody is “automatically” good at anything.
Men need to take time to be fathers. We have a whole advertising campaign about it. Mothers are automatically great mothers and know what to do from birth.
When my son was three weeks old, his mother had to stay overnight in the hospital. I took my son home and the nurse asked her if she thought everything would be ok.
23. Don’t get too close if they don’t want you to.
I can’t stand how a woman can blatantly sexually harass a man without consequences and have it be thought of as “funny” or “lucky.” Meanwhile, so many men will be deemed “perverted” or “creepy” for simply complimenting a woman or trying to engage in conversation with them (this is coming from a woman by the way).
I saw a video a few weeks ago where a woman aggressively and relentlessly sexually harassed a man, in front of a group of people, at a convention. It was really disturbing to me because it was very obvious that he was not interested and extremely uncomfortable, but no one tried to help him in any way and kept egging her on. The man filming it was pushing him to kiss her, which he ended up doing because everyone else was pressuring him to do it, too.
It was despicable and I felt so sorry for him not having a single person even attempting to help him get out of the situation. The whole time I was watching it, I couldn’t stop thinking about how drastically different things would have gone had it been the other way around, with him sexually harassing her. It was really hard to watch.
24. TV has so much power.
That men are always the dumb ones on TV. I grew up with three sisters and my mom, and I’ve always been disregarded as they stupid out of touch male. Then, when I end up being right most of the time, I make a big deal about it and make everything worse, AND ITS THE TV’S FAULT.
This is fading, though. I actually believe 30 Rock triggered the change on TV, where a smart, a know it all woman is wrong like, all the time, just like everyone else.
But jack was right all the time…maybe I just love Tina fey too much.
25. That’s a lot, but all very true.
I don’t like that there’s this idea that men only want sexual gratification. Guys have emotions and like cuddles too.
I don’t like that there’s still this idea that guys have to be the “breadwinners” and provide for families. Some guys are cool with being “househusbands”, and women are just as capable of bringing home the money.
I don’t like that women are still viewed as walking wombs and are expected to have children, and are viewed as broken or wrong or in denial if she doesn’t want children.
I don’t like the double standard in dating; it’s a lot easier for women to get dates than men.
I don’t like that women can scream, cry, and cause a scene to get a man to do what she wants, even if he’s unhappy with it.
I don’t like that men always have to be stoic.
I don’t like that women are viewed as weird or drama-loving or attention seekers if they have mostly male friends.
26. Never really thought of this one, to be honest.
When I play 3 hours of video games I have a problem.
When my wife watches 5 hours of Netflix every night its not a problem.
27. I wonder how that would play out…
There was a speaker at the women’s march on Washington named Donna Hylton. She got up on stage and talked about how she had spent 25 years in prison (not mentioning why of course), and the audience cheered.
Turns out, she spent 25 years in prison because in 1985, she and a handful of other people kidnapped a 60 year old man, tried to ransom him for $435,000, tortured him for three weeks (Hylton personally sodomized him with a metal rod), strangled him, and stuffed his body into a chest to decompose.
I can’t help but wonder how a man with an equivalent record would be received at the same event.
28. Everyone should only date who they want to.
If a guy sleeps with a girl in a one night stand but doesn’t want a relationship and doesn’t call her again then he’s a shallow dog/piece of crap….
If a girl does the same then she’s just being free and independent and you’re a loser/creep if you get mad at her.
29. Sometimes subtlety is hard to deal with.
Some women expect you to pick up on all their subtle hints when they want you but others act like misreading those possible hints is inherently creepy.
No, that’s just how most guys end up with a girlfriend. So it’s a (perceived) choice between being alone or creeping out some women.
30. Shoes make the man AND the woman.
My female coworkers are allowed to wear open toed shoes and shorts. I have been told that both are ‘inappropriate’ and unacceptable in a professional work place. a t-shirt, hoodie, and jeans is seemingly considered business casual for them, while I’m sitting here in slacks and a button up shirt when I have a job that involves crawling around and dealing with dirty computers.
31. Some people should mind their business…
I’m a 19 y/o male, and I babysit my 3 and 6 year old girl cousins often. Last time I babysat them, we played tag, then we had to go to the grocery store. The 3 year old decided that she wants to play tag, and runs away from me, so I chase her down, playfully saying “I’m gonna get ya!” in a funny voice cuz it gets her to laugh. A mom passes by and grabs my 3 year old cousin, takes the 6 year old and goes to a manager. My aunt had to come down and tell them that I was watching them. That was the worse it’s been, but if I go anywhere in public with little kids, especially girls, I’m seen as a predator.
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