We all know couples can be weird. When two people fall in love it can become easy to overlook some of the strange stuff they do sometimes these weird things even become endearing. This is a list of the strangest and most disgusting things couples find cute about their partners.
1. Is that necessary??
She likes to eat things slowly and in tiny bites. I’m not talking about “taking her time eating a pizza” or anything…I’m talking about she will take 5 bites while eating a grape. An Oreo will last for an entire episode of Game of Thrones. And I’m not kidding when I say I literally saw her take 3 bites to eat a peanut.
It boggles my mind so much it hurts.
2. Gotta check the “L”s.
She can’t tell left from right.
She’s 31. She was also a Rhodes Scholar finalist and a national champion athlete. But if she’s driving and the road splits, I have to literally point to tell her which way to go. You can’t tell her, “It’s on the left side of the page,” none of that.
The really weird part is her brother and sister are the same way. Could that possibly be genetic?
3. Gives me sour taste in my mouth
He doesn’t peel fruit like bananas or oranges. He just tucks right in and bites through the peels.
He also eats lemons and limes like this. Who eats lemons and limes just on their own??
4. A surprise behind door #2!
He has no sense of his own digestive system. We’ll be midway into a conversation when he suddenly gets up and runs to the bathroom. This happened maybe 2 minutes ago, which is why I’m here, posting this comment, instead of talking to him.
It’s like pooping is a new experience for him every time.
5. On Wednesdays we wear pink.
Well I guess ours is more of a fashion crime that some people find disgusting. We wear matching outfits.
My wife never knows what to wear, so whenever she asked me to pick out an outfit for her, I started selecting whatever is closest to what I’m wearing. She hated it at first, but now we both kind of love it.
6. They put the “oo” in “smooch”
It’s not gross, or maybe it is, but we both go ‘ooooo’ in the same pitch with our mouths then slowly come at each other until we’re going ‘oooo’ into each others mouths. It sounds hilarious.
7. Rise and shine!
Almost every morning, while I’m eating breakfast, he will come into the living room and loudly whisper my name. I’ll look over to see him in his boxers with his morning wood hanging out with a goofy grin on his face.
I think it’s his way of saying good morning.
8. A recipe for suffocation
Me and my girlfriend “share oxygen.” As in, I breathe in and then quickly breathe out into her lungs and then she breathes it back to me. Maybe we’re freaks, but maybe we’re just really into recycling. The world may never know.
9. She’s nuts.
When she’s eating pistachios, she’ll shout for me and make me come look at it whenever she finds “a good one.”
10. May I proceed?
Tells me, “I have to fart,” before he does it, as if he’s asking for permission, so I tell him to go ahead. He then proceeds to make the tiniest fart sound I’ve ever heard and erupts into a fit of giggles. I didn’t know a 22-year-old man could make sounds that high-pitched.
11. This is why we can’t have nice things.
This is very difficult to confess…..
Sometimes my wife bakes oatmeal cookies and uses walnuts instead of pecans in it. She says it’s because we are out of pecans, but I think she prefers the flavor of the walnuts in her oatmeal cookies.
12. You’re gonna choke on it!
He shovels his food into his mouth and nearly swallows it whole, even if it’s too hot to eat. If it’s too hot, he’ll let it hop around in his mouth while making this gross, wet, huffy noise until it’s cool enough to swallow. He does this every time. Did you never learn to let your food cool? Or how to chew??
13. No touch-y!
My SO will come out of the shower with his music playing some times. I’ll just be sitting in a chair or laying bed and he will start dancing and then rip his towel off and shake his package in my face. When I try to touch him or push him away, he slaps my hand and yells, “Don’t touch the stripper!”
I have to endure this for about 2 songs.
14. She’s always watching
My girlfriend sleeps with her eyes open.
They’re slightly open, usually, and sometimes they’re half open. It’s pretty creepy. Sometimes I can’t tell if she’s awake so I wave my hand in front of her just to test it.
15. Mommy Dearest
My ex was overly attached to his mother to the point where it was weird. He used nicknames for her like “sweetheart” and “babe” it was downright creepy.
16. “Hey there, Little Guy.”
My wife loves it when I smack her in the face with my schlong. Doesn’t even have to be during sexytime. I can walk up while she’s watching TV and bounce it off her forehead, she’ll nuzzle it a little and we’ll continue our day.
17. Ew! I bet they hold hands, too!
We hold toes when we sleep. When my girlfriend and I face each other at night. we lock our biggest and second biggest toes together. Some people think this is really weird, but it’s normal for us.
18. Her Prince Charming
Every morning he puts my socks on me. He wakes me up, then wakes my feet up…
He takes the blanket off my feet and says. “Good morning feeties! How are you guys this morning?!”
At this point I’m BARELY awake, but I feel like it genuinely disappoints him if my feet don’t “respond,” so I have to wiggle my toes. If I do wiggle them, he says “The feeties say it’s gonna be a good morning!”, and if I don’t, he – in a very serious tone – says “Feeeeties, don’t be gruuuumpyy!” and I then have to wiggle my toes anyways.
He will then kiss both big toes and put my socks on my feet, then go about his morning. I have always been a terribly grumpy person in the mornings, but waking up to him is like waking up in a Disney movie.
19. The last bite is where all the calories are kept.
She never, ever, ever eats the last bite of anything.
She’ll always have a bite of whatever left on her plate after a meal. She’s never once, in the 20 years I’ve been with her, eaten the last piece of pizza. She’ll never take the last peanut. I’ve never seen her finish a can of Pringles.
Upside for me: I get the last everything.
20. Sorry to disappoint.
He likes to chew on bizarre stuff. Bottle caps, soda can tabs, straws, basically any kind of detritus from whatever that he thinks would be cool to have in his mouth. The best thing is when he feels like it’s a good idea to chew on my hair, but then gets mad and does a dramatic spitting thing because I use hair spray/hair products.
21. She might be possessed.
She laughs in her sleep. Not like little snickers. Like laughter. It’s intermittent, but sometimes goes on for hours and includes full on rolling chuckles and snorts. I think the weirdest part is that it’s not the same as her “awake laugh.”
I learned this about her late one night, in a pitch dark room watching a horror movie with my headphones on. I thought it was in the film. So, when I paused the video and the laughter didn’t stop, I got super freaked out.
It’s great when she does it and someone else is around. I pretend not to notice until they get a good grasp of what’s happening.
22. Just another patient to her.
Mine is a nurse and will randomly check my pulse and various other things about me without telling me. I catch her doing it sometimes. I fear I am some weird experiment to her.
23. It makes sense, though.
He ALWAYS leaves the fridge door open. It drives me nuts. I’ve asked him about this and he says it’s because he tries to be gentle with it so none of the condiments fall out.
He also rubs the toilet seat to warm it up before he sits on it. I only know this because I caught him doing it once when I heard a weird rubbing noise from his bathroom.
24. “Yes, but how did you know??”
He tends to get completely naked when he goes #2. He’ll go into the bathroom with clothes and come out butt naked, and I’m like, “You just pooped didn’t you?”
25. He’s clearly attractive to other females.
My boyfriend snores like a moose mating call. How do I know its a moose?
We went to a family friend’s mountain house in Vermont and were camping outside their house for fun. Well, in the middle of the night I wake up, and my SO is snoring up a storm, but every time he pauses I hear another distant sound. Something was answering him and getting closer.
I was frantically trying to wake him up but I swear he goes into a coma every night and I just couldnt wake him up. Dear God, this noise was getting louder, I could hear branches snapping, bushes rustling. I finally managed to wake him up but that thing was still answering him for like 5 minutes until finally it moved off.
I was so terrified that night, but I do miss that sound dearly whenever hes not around.
26. Try not to picture it…
Well, this may not be fair because it’s not me and my boyfriend, but it’s still kinda weird and slightly gross. My friend is a bit overweight and so is her boyfriend. They both have big bellies, aaand they’re both pink freckled gingers. So, she told me that they like showering together and while they shower they rub their bellies on each other. They call it walrusing.
27. I just want you to be happy, but also to never do that again.
When I’m sitting on the couch, my boyfriend will come up behind me and wrap my hair around his penis.
28. Always with the jokes.
He’s always trying to break up with me. What a goofball! Its adorable.
29. The people on the cover are watching.
He refuses to take a dump if there are any magazines in the bathroom. He says he just cant go. I don’t really understand it, but I do use it to my advantage.
I used to open the door and throw a magazine in laughing my head off. Now he locks the bathroom door, so I’ve had to select slimmer magazines and carefully slide them under the door.
30. Like a metrosexual lumberjack.
He special orders fancy (and expensive) bars of soap from France. They’re all he’ll wash himself with. Each of them smells like a different flavour of wood.
It’s weird but holy crap does that man smell amazing.
31. Be more annoying.
She sticks her finger in my mouth when I yawn. I’ve told her to stop, but she doesn’t seem to understand that “No means, no.” She thinks it is the funnest thing ever.
I hate it, but I also secretly enjoy the challenge of strategic yawning.
32. No clothes allowed.
She never lets me wear any clothing at home. I come home from work and she’ll yell, “PANTS GO OFF NOW!” If I put on a pair of pajamas or something, she gives me a look like I betrayed her.
33. IT’S THE SAME DAMN BOOK, WOMAN.
My wife owns 8 different copies of the Sherlock Holmes collection. They all have different covers and bindings, but the exact same stories inside. She reads them in her spare time and frequently debates which copy she wants to read every time.
34. To each his own, I guess.
My girlfriend slaps me. In the face. A lot. But strangely I really like it.
She always asks permission, and never does it out of any emotion related to anger. And she kisses me on the cheek after a good one. But she always has an urge to slap me, and for some reason I’ve always weirdly enjoyed being slapped in the face (as long as the eyes, nose, or ears aren’t being hit). So, it works out, I guess.
35. You’re gonna get me killed.
My wife has zero subtlety. I’ll whisper, “Check out this guy’s ponytail behind you, don’t make it obvious.”
And immediately, swooooop, her head flings back and she stares at the guy directly in the face, then turns back to me and laughs.
I’m waiting for a man to walk up and shoot me next time this happens.
36. You’ll never believe it, but…
4 times now she has grown another smaller human inside her.
37. Those couples that do everything together still think this one’s too weird.
I broke my knee over the summer, so my girlfriend had to help me get onto the toilet without hurting myself. Now that I’m better, it’s just a routine. She got sad the one time she was around and I tried to go poop without her.
38. Too touchy-feely
My SO’s left hand wanders all over the place in his sleep. His wrist hangs limp so he’s not really reaching for anything, his arm just compulsively moves around. We’ve lived together for over a year, this literally happens every night. At first I thought he was possessed but now it’s just hilarious.
39. Big ol’ bowl of “Whatttt???”
He has a box of pens underneath our bed, like a stash of 200 pens and markers, and he roleplays with them.
Each of them has a name, and a very specific profession. A group of highlighters were a boy band, another group of pens were part of the Air Force and can transform into planes.
I once caught him sleeping in our bed with almost all of the pens lined up in a specific manner across the floor and bed. I sometimes try to ask him about it (since he’s 27), he says he used to be really lonely as a child and it was his coping mechanism