It’s not often that product does exactly as advertised. It’s even more rare that the product actually performs better than it’s supposed to.
Here, spooked people reveal products that work a little too well.
1. That is harrowing.
“Sex Lure” was a roach spray that contained a long range sex pheromone designed to draw all the roaches in your home to one spot so they would all be exposed to the pesticide and die. However, cockroaches have something like the second most sensitive chemical receptors after bacteriorhodopsin and it not only attracted all the cockroaches in your house, but your neighbor’s houses, and your neighbor’s neighbor’s houses. It was taken out of stores after about 2 weeks.
2. Not worth it in the end.
Morphine. Had surgery a long time ago. Was on one of those automated machines that let’s you self administer a dose every 30 min.
It was amazing. It was only a medical dose of course but that first shot I got in the recovery ward was like having liquid heaven injected. I was on it for 3 days, then I was on tablets after that for 2 days
The come down however was horrendous. I now feel sympathy for people in rehab for more addictive drugs like heroin. My body hurt all over.
3. Wikipedia is magic.
Wikipedia. Want to look up what’s an IPA? Ended up learning about 7 different kinds of hops, the entire beer brewing process, the history of beer sterilization, British colonization of India, Gandhi, Ben Kingsley, Schindler’s List, Nazi Germany, concentration camps, the Japanese Empire, human experimentation, ninjas, martial arts, Bruce Lee, Enter the Dragon.
And then it’s 3am. CRAP.
4. I just want to drink it!
I have a really nice tea thermos; infuser in the cap and everything. It has a nice color, is insulated so the tea doesn’t burn your hands, everything you’d want in a portable tea container. Only one problem.
If you put hot tea in it, it stays undrinkably hot for about four hours (with the lid open, longer if it’s closed). I have often times made tea at noon and started drinking it at 9pm.
5. But they are so ugly…
Crocs. They had trouble making money because they last forrrrrrrever.
6. The reason I’m always late for work.
The snooze button.
7. Reason why people didn’t realize Trump was such a threat.
Seriously, with the amount of search customization and information tracking it gets your searches are too accurate for what you want. You will rarely ever get opposite view points or the other side of an argument, and that leads to a lot of polarization and bias.
8. You can’t make me upgrade!
Windows XP SP3. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked so well that it took Microsoft 7 years to get users to stop using it and buy a new version of Windows.
9. That’s called an obsession…
Cast iron pan. Take care of it and it will last several lifetimes.
My girlfriend is loves with cast iron. She goes to 3-4 swap meets a week, looking for ‘new’ stuff. She built an “e-tank” that uses a car battery charger to strip carbon/filth off of old pans. No exaggeration, she has 100+ pieces of cast iron cookware at any given moment.
10. It’s terrifying. How does it know??
Facebook facial recognition. When you upload a picture and it already knows who your friends in the photo are, it creeps me out a little.
11. And chill.
Netflix. So much TV, so little life.
12. This product is out of this world!
If what I heard is true, the original Pyrex glassware. They had to start selling similar products to NASA because their dishes never broke so nobody was buying replacements.
13. What a money saver!
Dawn platinum dish soap. The stuff is incredible and lasts forever. You can use a drop to clean a dish that’s been caked on for days. My bottle has lasted 2 years so far. I don’t know how they make any money.
14. I calculate a zero percent increase in price!
The TI-83 calculator. They’ve been selling the exact same product at the EXACT SAME price for years.
15. So that’s what’s pushing the world to the brink of extinction…
Weed killer. That crap could destroy all plant life on earth if you got a big enough spray nozzle.
I started using vinegar. Works well, and I don’t get nervous planting food plants around.
16. Anyone can use it.
Duct tape. Fixes anything, can use it to build everything, easy to use.
17. Such a good service.
Spotify I have found bands with less than 1000 plays on their most popular song, yet Spotify still has them.
I have a pretty weird music taste, yet Spotify has never once disappointed.
18. At least you know your boundaries now, right?
An angle grinder with a cut off wheel. I use to own a bed frame, weight bench and a cast iron kettle bell, I now own scraps and a new understanding of why I don’t allow myself personal power.
19. Good for you.
Eyedrops! After I got high, I put them in and my eyes became whiter than when I’m normally sober. A little too suspicious for my liking…
20. You really don’t need very much of it at all.
WD40. The door to my bathroom was squeaky so I sprayed a bit on the hinges to make it swing a bit smoother. Now it’s too damn smooth and if I even lightly push the door while I rush to the bathroom it slams like I’m pissed off every time I go do my business.
21. Who needs to shower when you got this!
Dry shampoo spray. Once I discovered that I just spray my hair instead of showering. I look clean. Just don’t smell me.
22. Looks cool when used on clothes too.
Bleach. You always have to water it down to use it for anything. There once was a weird stain on our linoleum floor in the kitchen and no matter how hard I scrubbed it wouldn’t go away. Poured some bleach on it and let it sit for 5 mins. That spot is now so clean that the rest of the clean floor looks dirty compared ti that spot.
23. You probably not be using that on your body, then…
Nair. It literally ate the warts off my legs (reason for Nairing and not shaving). I had a wart on my leg and because I shaved over it one wart quickly turned into 100 warts and the doctor couldn’t get rid of them. I stopped shaving and was Nairing and one night I was 2/3 of the way done when I ran out of Nair. Luckily I found an old bottle of Nair in the back of the bathroom closet and finished the job. By the time the 10 minute wait was up, I was in extreme discomfort and after I washed away the Nair I discovered my legs were bleeding. The next day I was flabbergasted to see what was left of the warts – they were gone, just white patches remained where the warts once were (I was tan). Turns out the old Nair was 15 years expired and it chemically burned the warts off my legs. Worked so good that I actually called Nair and told them this story, they sent me free coupons.
I also told my Doctor, he wasn’t too impressed.
24. You gotta spit that out quickly.
Mouth wash. If you keep it in your mouth for much longer than the recommended time you’ll give yourself a chemical burn. No crap.
25. Doing it’s job a little too well.
My mom and I put a dehumidifier in our bathroom. After about a week, we noted that it was still filling up, even though the bathroom was dry.
We later discovered that it was dehumidifying the toilet.
26. Ever considered I don’t actually want to reconnect with those people, huh?
Facebook’s “People you may know” feature.
It’s creepily accurate at finding even the most obscure acquaintances.
27. Need to set a reminder in my phone or something…
Retirement homes. I haven’t seen my grandparents in a long time…
28. Cleanin’ out your pipes.
We use barkeeper’s friend at my work to clean the pipes. It makes them look brand new, but I’m pretty sure it’s slowly eating away the pipe itself.
29. Yeah, you really shouldn’t use that on your car…
Those magic erasers. My cousin discovered that scrubbing his car down with one made it shinier than anything else he’s tried. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize they’re actually fine sandpaper. He now has huge spots on his car with no paint on them.
30. Well, I guess that is what it is supposed to do…
Laxatives. You will poop. Mucho.
31. Most permanent thing in my life right now.
Sharpie permanent markers.