This article is based on the AskReddit question “What super embarrassing thing did someone else do that you’ll never forget?”
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
1. All the kids in my 5th grade class were passing out Valentines during our party. When I finished I went back to my desk and found a huge Hallmark-style envelope on my desk, too big to fit in the box I had decorated. Confused, I opened it and found a real Valentine’s card, with a declaration of love from a classmate named Vinnie. My teacher saw me reading it, grabbed it and cheekily read it out loud to the class. I was mortified. I didn’t think for a moment she would be cruel enough, but then she said who it was from and my heart sank. Vinnie hid his head in his arms at his desk, began to cry and shake, then ran off to the bathroom. I have never seen a more embarrassing moment and I hated my teacher for the rest of the year. I still do, in fact.
I’m so sorry Vinnie.
2. I work near a college campus. The day Pokmon go came out all hell broke loose. Saw a guy who was playing the app walk directly into a pole that was just a bit taller than his junk because he wasn’t looking up from his phone. Nuts were smashed. I camped out near that pole every day at lunch to watch people playing Pokmon wander into it. Day three, here comes the guy from day one, right into the same pole. Nuts smashed again!
3. SFO airport, a man is running down the escalator and trips at the very end, face planting with so much force that he slides a little. Guy gets up and keeps running, trips and falls on his face again… then gets up and just walks.
4. Boy at an Anime Club meeting trying to show off his terrible Japanese the entire time. He messed up simplest words, too (“yes” and “no”). It was the most cringe-inducing 30 min of my life.
5. My best friend from high school farted during quiet reading time in English class. It must have been loud because the popular girls surrounding her looked up in disgust. In a panic, my friend grabbed her seat and with forced bewilderment said, “Oh my! My chair is so squeaky!” She then proceeds to rock and shift positions frantically but the chair doesnt make a sound. Clearly defeated, my friend spent the rest of class burning in self loathing.
6. With my old aunt on the bus once. She’s a bit deaf, so she tends to speak louder than necessary. She leans over to me, and in a hushed, but VERY audible voice that everyone heard, says to me “OMG, look at that woman’s ugly baby… no look, it’s so ugly, oh my god… ::nudges at me hard::… look at it!” … yeah, the woman with the baby was sitting right next to us across the aisle within ear shot. Cringe.
7. My brother was in a H.R. course and they were doing presentations on different issues in the workplace. One group ended their presentation by showing a clip they found online on sexual harassment in the workplace. For some reason they never bothered to watch the full video because halfway through it, it turned into a porno and the entire class was cringing/trying not to burst out laughing.
8. Freshman year of college, 5 weeks in I had a group project. My group decided to write a script and read it to the class. All 4 of us are up there reading and semi acting out this 10 page script and everyone in class starts kind of giggling. In between lines I make eye contact with this girl I was kinda seeing and she kept laughing towards me. I thought maybe a booger was hanging from my nose, zipper was undone but nope. Ended up that the kid next to me had a boner and did the little tuck in waistband trick. The head of his dick was sticking out and he was wearing a small shirt so anytime he lifted his arms or moved around everyone saw the tip of his penis…..
9. We were sitting in a marketing meeting. The guy leading the meeting says “okay, let’s think about this: what is something we all should have more of, but don’t” or something like that.
My awkward coworker says “….. Sex?…”
No one laughed. It was a pregnant pause.
Meeting went on as if nothing happened.
10. I walked into a bathroom once while some lady in another stall was in the middle of a major poop explosion. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she started praising Jesus….”Thank you Jesus!!!” *Splat splat. “thank you, thank you!
11. I was in the 8th grade, walking and talking with a girl who had a crush on me. She was really going all out trying to impress me, swishing her hips, cracking awful jokes, trying to be smart, when we walked by a building entrance with a raised slab in front of the door. She failed to notice it and, with her hands in her pockets, tripped up and pulled off an amazing face plant.
God, she was so embarrassed her whole face was red. To my credit I didn’t laugh, and helped her up, but inside I was crying with laughter.
12. When I was in elementary school in second grade we had a really cruel and strict teacher. She refused to let the red-haired girl go to the bathroom during morning prayer (private school). She peed her pants in front of the entire class first thing in the morning.
I don’t recall any classmates ever giving her crap about it, but I’m pretty sure no one ever forgot it.
13. When I was kindergarten, my class started singing the Alphabet Letters. A boy sitting next to me was crapping himself while singing. He became my best friend. We are now 20 years old and I still remember that day.
14. In high school a girl I knew had a crush on me. I wasn’t into her and had a girlfriend in a different school, but I was always nice to her. One day as she was taking her seat directly in front of me she ripped an embarrassingly loud fart. People laughed, but I acted like I didn’t hear it. Poor girl… I haven’t seen her in probably 13 years, but I’ll never forget how deep the shade of red her face turned.
15. I was at a water park in the wave pool and a girl had a breast knocked out of her bikini and didn’t notice. A lifeguard blew his whistle, pointed, and said “Your breast…” so I of course looked and saw it. She simply said thank you and covered it back up but I’ll never forget that big boob just hanging and feeling bad for her.
16. My cousin once was waiting for her boyfriend to pick her up from some sketchy part of town. Cops rolled up and arrested her because they thought she was a prostitute. She got picked up at the precinct later by her boyfriend and his mom. Hilarious.
17. I was in 11th grade and my buddy was in 9th, I brought him to a party with me. He got obnoxiously drunk on vodka. There were these two 12th grade girls that I really wanted to talk up, he came with me. We are standing in front of them and they were sitting in chairs, so they were eye level with our crotches. Our game is surprisingly working and he is holding it together, or so I thought. One of the girls exclaims “Oh my god, he is pissing!”. I look over and he is peeing his pants as we chat up these senior girls that are eye-level with our junk.
18. I was in a Disneyland bathroom stall. The man in the adjacent stall was in the midst of a serious poop struggle. While the ambient hum of the bathroom may have drowned out the plop, it did not silence his exclamation:
Oh my God, that thing is huge.”
This was already loud enough to be uncomfortable for everyone.
Then, a second voice:
19. We all went out on the town with our boss after a convention. Walking back to the parking lot, a car picks up a pay ticket at the entrance and pulls in. We follow the car in on foot. My boss walks past the ticket machine just as the barricade arm swings down, smashing his face and destroying his glasses. We all get in the car, and as he drives you can hear everyone trying their damnedest to not laugh. He whips around and screams in a pathetic tone “Stop laughing at me!” Then 10min later, he mis-pays a toll booth, and another gate arm comes down. It wrecks the left fender, mirror, and pillar of his truck, as well as snaps off the arm. One of my co-workers grabbed the arm as a souvenir.
20. Long time ago my friend (around his early 20s at the time) was dating his sisters best friend. She ended up breaking up with him. A few of my friends brought him over to my parents place to cheer him up. My friend, who isn’t very emotional at all, got wasted. Proceeded to cry and bawl and chug hard liquor. He then threw up in every room of my house while my family watched and thought he was dying. To this day they still bring it up to me asking if he is ok (it was 10+ years ago).
21. My best friend growing up asked this girl he liked for years to homecoming in 10th grade. She asked him if he knew any sweet dance moves and he said “Ya I know how to break dance” to which she replied “show me!” and she began moving furniture for him. He didn’t know how to break dance, but tried. Her and her friend laughed. Then we left. It was bad.
22. Drinking with a buddy and we decide to shoot some hoops at a basketball court that was almost always empty at night. Two other guys were there playing 1 on 1, figured whatever we’ll just play HORSE on the other rim. My friend starts blurting out court rules for what I’m discovering will be a serious 2 on 2 game that is about to take place. While he’s us how many 3’s he’s going to drain he tries to crossover dribble while walking forward, steps on the ball right as it hits the ground and absolutely eats crap. I honestly don’t know how he didn’t knock himself out, because the meaty slap the left half of his face made on the court was sickening. He tried to act like it didn’t happen and we proceed to lose several awkward games. He did not keep his promise on all those 3s.
23. One of my best friends was a large fellow. Easily in the 400s. One time we had tickets to the minor league baseball game. It was national anthem time. As he was about to stand up the chair completely broke into what seemed like 1000 pieces. As it turned out, we sat in the wrong row. It was funny to see the person when they arrived at their seat to find it destroyed. Embarrassing. Yes but also a good laugh.
24. A boy from junior choir grasped the shank of his handbell in church choir and asked the girl playing next to him if she’d “like to see his dong.”
The minister was there, and a few adults, too. We all just looked at each other – not sure what to say.
25. Female coworker was working from home (we’re all remote employees), joined a conference call, and didn’t realize she was also broadcasting her webcam. We all saw her in only a towel. The call got very quiet until someone privately IMed her and she shut it off.
26. In middle school I had a friend who was a walking disaster. I could write a novel with all the embarrassing things that have happened to her. For the sake of anonymity I’ll only tell one.
She wore a knee length skirt to school one day. One of those that has a little slit on each side. The slits weren’t very long. Maybe a little over an inch on either side. Well throughout the day this girl somehow managed to slowly rip both sides all the way up the entire length of the skirt. She was essentially just wearing a flap of fabric over her front and back by the end of the day. It just so happened to be very windy while we waited for the bus outside. I’ll never forget her face as she stood there clutching both flaps of fabric to her body as best she could.
Luckily she was one who was able to laugh at her own misfortunes. We both got a good laugh at that one.
27. Once a friend of my mom came over. My mom excused herself to go to the bathroom, and her friend asked: “pee or poopy?” Why.
28. I was at a stoplight downtown, and a group of one of those Segway tours was crossing in front of me. A guy near the end of the line of Segway-ers tries to spin around and chat with someone behind him, or something, and just goes down like a sack of bricks. Now I don’t know how those things work, but I still assume it was a mechanical failure or some shit, because this guy is now flat on his ass in the middle of downtown Seattle, just wrestling with this Segway. He’s all tangled up in it and cursing, flopping around, and everyone’s just standing there, completely clueless on how to even begin to unlatch this red-faced dude from his Segway. It goes on like this for almost a full minute. The light is green but I can’t go because he’s right in front of me. Finally he gets up and hops back on, and rides away. I nearly had to pull over, I was laughing so hard on my way home.
29. A girl in my design class got up to give her presentation. Her computer is hooked to the projector and it’s on. She opens her email to find the presentation she sent herself and as soon as the email is open someone in class says, “(name), why do you have an email titled Turtle Sex Noises?” Her head whips around to the screen and she shouts “OH MY GOD!” and then she JUMPS in front of the screen as she forgets how projectors work. So “Turtle Sex Noises” is now projected on her boobs and she stammers to quickly tell us that her boyfriend sent her the link, the video is adorable, and so on. She goes on to do the presentation but the class won’t shut up about the turtles so she plays the video and hides her face as this turtle makes adorable squeaky sounds as it makes love to a shoe and the class just loses it.
30. A few years ago, I was at the San Diego zoo with my family. We were walking near the reptile area when we saw a big group gathered around something. A peacock. A single peacock that wasn’t a part of the zoo, but had just wandered in. Everyone was taking pictures of the damn thing like it was the most precious thing in the world. Well, one kid kept messing with the thing, grabbing its feathers and what not. Mom was on her phone playing it off. Peacock said “screw it” and NAILED that kid right in the forehead. Kid was bleeding everywhere, mom was playing it off like it was a minor scratch. Granted, kid got karma.
31. A kid in my school was put in a group project for a productions class. He was very weird, odd, awkward. Anyhow, long story short, he took a camera home to ‘review’ footage. The next day it was time to review the project in front of the class. Evidently, he had filmed himself masturbating, but hadn’t quite erased all the film by taping over it. Apparently, the class caught just a couple frames of him jerking off right at the end of the film. The class was in hour 7, so he immediately ran out of class and onto the bus. Before the bus could leave, he was approached by a group of administrative staff. He ended up having a panic attack on the bus, kicking, screaming, flailing.
Anyhow he works at a gas station now. Good luck to you Andrew.
[Image credit: jevelin / Shutterstock.com]