1. Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus’ time?
A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
2. A married couple were arguing about who should make the coffee, the wife said that in the Bible it says that men should make the coffee and the husband asked her where it said that. The wife opened the Bible and said:”Right here in HEBREWS!”
3. A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!”
As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late… But please don’t shove me either!”
4. A teacher asked the children in her Sunday School class, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?”
“NO!” the children all answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?”
Again, the answer was”NO!”
“Well,” she continued, “then how can I get to heaven?”
In the back of the room, a five-year-old boy shouted out, “You gotta be dead!”
5. Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.”Fine”, said the pleased mother.
“If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you.”
“Oh, I didn’t ask Him to help me not misbehave,” said Johnny.”I asked Him to help you put up with me:’
6. The story of Adam and Eve was being carefully explained in the children’s Sunday School class. Following the story, the children were asked to draw some picture that would illustrate the story.
Little Bobby drew a picture of a car with three people in it. In the front seat was a man and in the back seat, a man and a woman. The teacher was at a loss to understand how this illustrated the lesson of Adam and Eve. Little Bobby was prompt with his explanation. “Why, this is God driving Adam and Eve out of the garden!”
7. As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, “Anyone here know how to pray?”
One man stepped forward. “Aye, Captain, I know how to pray.”
“Good,” said the captain, “you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets – we’re one short.”