[Source can be found at the end of the article]
Wrote a software program that saved the company >$10,000,000 (that’s millions) each and every year. Program used for at least 10 years. Promotion and bonus.
27. Once in a life time
During freshman year of college, I was hanging out on the ground floor of the dorm with some friends and our RA.
One friend hailed an elevator and held the door for us to get in. While walking towards the elevator, I was swinging my carabiner (that had my keys it) around my finger and it slipped off.
The keys went flying and went straight through the the opening between the floor and the elevator without touching the ground.
We fished it out with a straightened metal clothes hanger.
When I was a teenager I fenced in Singapore and was ranked 16th nationally.
There were only 17 girls competing. One dropped out due to illness.
25. The average Minecraft player
I go to college in a different state. I miss my dogs more than I miss my family. Once I missed my dogs so much that I gave 3 wolves in Minecraft a tour of my world and pretended they were my dogs. After 10 minutes of doing this I realized what a lunatic I had become and stopped.
24. Witnessing new technology take off
Sat on the top floor of an Indy business with the CEO of a research institute and my patent attorney discussing a computer for the “internet” (a word not used yet at the time) in 1988. The engineers thought being able to get info from anywhere was the ” greatest idea since sliced bread.
Mind you, Im an old man. I used a slide rule at the start of college. I got to watch all this unfold and met some mighty interesting folks along the way.
23. Living on the edge
Basically, you throw your parachute out first and then have to chase after it. It’s not as horrifying as it first sounds, because you are still tied to the parachute by a long chord. It’s just difficult to pull it on and tighten it up properly while you’re falling.
22. Fun activity!
Urban exploration. I break into derelict buildings and adventure down disused sewers and things. I could travel the entire length of the town i live in underground. I sometimes used to use the route to get to work before a massive flood the other summer ruined that. I still urban explore, though. Love it. Also found out that local councils pay people to live in abandoned hospitals and schools and places so long as they keep it in good condition and keep out trespassers. Found that out when I was chased from an derelict school by some drunk wielding a plank of wood.
One time I was tubing and while going full speed my dad threw a grape out the back of the boat to me and I caught it in my mouth while on the tube. First try too.
20. Its not everyday you find a diamond
My friend and I got wasted downtown in a big city so we called an Uber to go home. We got in a random car which was not an Uber with a guy named Diamond. Diamond actually got us home safe and sound after taking us to a gas station to get snacks.
19. No regrets!
I got in a fight with a kid in high school, ended up punching him in the face. I was a fairly nerdy kid, but I played football and didn’t put up such things. Rumor around the school was this kid who I punched “wanted to kill me.” It’s high school, so no one really takes stuff like that seriously.
Fast forward a year from then, this guy isn’t at graduation. Apparently the day of graduation, he shot and killed someone over $500. Charged and convicted of murder, 20 years.
18. Just a sleepy child
I fell asleep in my parent’s room when I was 4. I woke up to my mom crying and police in the room. Apparently they couldn’t find me and thought I was missing. Whole neighborhood was searching for me. Little did they know I was sleeping peacefully in my superman underwear.
17. Full of talent
Two things, one significantly funnier than the other.
A) I killed a fly with a hair tie by shooting it like an elastic.
B) My incredibly inebriated friend made a piece of pizza straight up disappear.
It was his birthday, so we make pizza at his place (he’s a natural born cook) and get drunk. He’s not used to his alcohol, however, and gets way more plastered than me and my other friend who was there, who we’ll call Lyla.
So basically he’s almost passed out sitting on the kitchen floor, me and Lyla are discussing if we should call his parents. We do, but they won’t be home for at least 45 minutes, either one of them.
The drunk one, we’ll call Dirk, asks if we’re still hungry.
“nah Dirk, we’re good, thanks though.”.
Dirk doesn’t believe us. So, he chucks a piece of pizza at us, except it doesn’t go at us, it goes in a parabola above us.
Now Dirk’s house had those curtains that short of jut out from the wall a bit, by like an inch, before the actual curtains lay.
Dirk’s pizza falls in the crack between the wall and the curtain mechanism.
And to this day we have not found it.
16. Dont dream it, live it!
Put everything we own in storage, put two relatively successful careers on hold, broke a lease on an UWS Manhattan penthouse, and and traveled the world for 2 years straight. 36 countries across 5 continents, scuba diving in some of the best dive sites in the world, and memories for a lifetime. People don’t believe we would give up all we had, but we did and are far happier for it.
15. Friday the 13th horror!
Before I started high school, I went to Devil’s Lake, Wisconsin on Friday the 13th. I decided not to rock-climb and found I had made a great personal decision that cured my fear of heights.
One of the girls in the group I was camping with was attacked by rock spiders while rock-climbing and got tangled up in the rope. She was the one girl in entire all-female group (including myself) who had a phobia of spiders before that – so she screamed for the entire time she was attacked and the hours it took for someone to get her down. It ended up storming after we set up the tents later that day and went to bed that night too.
So, I got to watch someone be attacked by spiders in real life, on Friday the 13th, and I’ll never be able to forget that screaming. I decided that day that my fear of heights was ridiculous since there’s a lot more to fear in life. I’m now superstitious of Friday the 13th and am unwilling to ever go back to Devil’s Lake, Wisconsin.
14. Note taken
Dated both royalty (a countess) and the niece of a president.
I’m a fairly regular dude, normal built, zero fancy bloodline or big industry heirloom. Simply have good manners and am not afraid approaching people. I even have factual, undeniable proof for both (actually still dating the president’s niece, and hope it stays that way.)
13. When you zone out, magic happens
I was dazing out into another world in 2nd grade and my hand felt an instinct to twitch, flip the pencil I was holding into the air, and come back into my hand in the same position, whilst I was still zoned out and just staring at nowhere.
The teacher stopped the lesson and exclaimed, “That was a cool magic trick! but don’t do it again, ok?”
I used to zone out so much in elementary because it was like sleeping and dreaming at the same time, but still awake.
12. When the unexpected happens
One day me and 3 friends were very thirsty at school and the tuck shop was closed as the students running it were writing exams. So we go to the vending machine and low and behold it’s all empty except for cream soda. Anyways we pitch in all our cents and press the button… 4 cream soda cans came out.
11. Will do anything to be in a movie
Not as cool as some of these on here but I was an extra for a movie starring Paul Rudd over the summer. They needed performers for a scene and paid for us to travel out of state for the scene. We had to shoot it in a 50 degrees Fahrenheit lake. They’d have us do three takes, get out of the water to warm up in front of heaters, and then get in and do two more. The lake was absolutely freezing and really gross but I got to meet a famous actor and be on a movie set. They’re very quiet.
10. Close call!
I pulled a little kid out a malfunctioning escalator that would have ended in his brutal death.
My girlfriend and I were vacationing in Aruba, and checked out the one shopping mall on the island. A Spanish speaking family was riding up the escalator. The mother was berating the kids in Spanish, when one of the kids got his shoe stuck in the escalator.
My girlfriend and I were leaning on the second story railing watching this all happen. In the span of a few seconds, everyone realized this was now an emergency. The kid was about 5 feet away from the top of the escalator where he would be pulled in to an unthinkable death.
I ran over to the kid, grabbed his arm, and just pulled as hard as I could. His little foot slipped out of his shoe and we both fell, him landing on top of me. His shoe was torn up by the escalator. His family was freaking out, and his mother scooped him up and whisked him away. The little grandmother (I’m assuming that’s what she was) said something to me in Spanish and grabbed my hand in an attempt to thank me I guess. Then they left.
I was also really stoned for this whole experience which made it super surreal.
9. Lost and found
Got lost at festival for about 12 hours. Literally could not find my tent. I got out of it in the dark to wee and had nothing with me. I’m naturally bad at direction but there were so many tents the same. Wandered for about 12 hours finally found my friends and they thought I hooked up. Wouldn’t believe I just wandered for 12 hrs. I was dehydrated and so exhausted.
Met and chatted casually with Scarlett Johansson (and Kal Penn) my freshman year of college. They came to our campus campaigning for Obama in 2007 (he was with them of course). It was obscenely cold outside (the speech was being given outdoors at night) in mid-November and a friend of mine was in charge of organizing the event so while they were waiting before it was going to happen, he took them somewhere inside out of the cold. I walked by where they were hanging out and sat down and talked with them.
Biggest irony of this story is that my head was far in the sand when it came to movies so I barely knew who Scarlet Johansson was.
7. Ninja moves
Had a cell phone come out of my pocket on a rollercoaster, reached out with my foot in mid fall and pinned it to the floor. All In the course of a few second drop. I have a witness but people still don’t believe it.
The same phone later fell 2 feet into the floor and then shattered. C’est la vie.
6. Worth it!
I was chopping vegetables in college and dropped my chef’s knife. I’d been playing a lot of hackey sack at the time, and instinct told me to kick the knife.
I kicked the handle, caught it in mid air, and then the danger of what I’d just done set in. But I was ok. I put the knife down, hands shaking, and stepped back for a minute.
5. Great aim
Years ago, I had a great dog. Her name was Chelsea. Well, one day, shes standing at the far end of the kitchen and Im about 25 feet away near the sink. She had these rope chew toys, like a section of rope with knots tied at either end kind of thing. The white one was laying on the floor near me by the sink. I was in my sock feet, and just kind of scooped it up and flicked it toward the other end of the room. Imagine my surprise when it landed in my dogs open mouth.
She was more stunned than me. It was just suddenly there and shes like WTF? The expression on her face was golden. She just tilted her head down and let it fall out. There were no other witnesses and no one believed me.
4. When a famous actor calls your house
Answered my house telephone and it was Robert De Niro on the line back in 1996. He said Hi this is Bobby here, I’m looking to speak with John.” I said There’s no John here. Who is this? He said, “Bob De Niro. I said, Robert DeNiro? the actor? (It sounded just like him.) He said “Yes , the actor. I was told I could get John at this number. I said, “There’s no John here, Robert, sorry about that. Then I hung up. Ten minutes later my dad walked into the house with this old guy and he introduced me to him as John. John says to me “Did Bobby call for me yet? This was before everyone had cell phones. I said, “Yeah but I hung up. The old guy was Jon Voight and I didn’t know who he was. It was just before he got famous again for Mission Impossible and Enemy of the State and Anaconda and all those movies. I was a teenager and didn’t know anything about Midnight Cowboy or Deliverance. My dad was helping him research a role.
3. True survivor
Not that unbelievable, but slipped down a rocky face into Arctic water (I was in Norway), climbed out, and survived. I found a guy in the immediate area with the car, and I got him to drive me to a family member’s house, a long walk away in a moment where too much time in the cold air was dangerous since I was soaking wet in freezing water. I was around 13 at the time.
2. The staring contest
When I was seventeen, I won a staring contest with a cougar. I was out in the woods with my girlfriend at night, talking, looking at the stars etc. And there is this…. Impossible to describe noise. I turn on a light, turn around, and there are two eyes, staring at me. At the time, I thought it was a bobcat (we had been seeing a lot of sign, misread it). I yell at it. It just stares. I pull out my Ka-Bar knife, send her over to the staff house (maybe a hundred yards away) to get a couple co-workers with rifles (it’s way too close to the camp for comfort) and I start talking to it, walking towards it, making sure it stays focused on me, not her. We stare at each other maybe five minutes ’till it must have heard the others coming and simply disappeared.
1. Brilliant move
When I worked for Dept of Homeland Security at Dulles Airport, I found a compromised area of the airport. So after getting approval from the higher ups who knew I was going to do this, what I did was I brought in a toy handgun.Then, in front of my supervisor, a bunch of screeners and a few TSA bigwigs, I sat down on the floor against a wall in the non secure side and nonchalantly took the toy gun from my backpack without them noticing me and I slid the gun to the secure side of the airport. I slid it under a large gap in-between a flight information sign (you know, they say delayed, delayed, on time, delayed etc…) and the wall.
We all got in line and went through the security checkpoint where I walked them around to the sign. I pointed to the ground and there lay the gun.
The look on their faces was pure horror ! They thanked me and thanked me. After that day I was promoted and they actually created a new position within TSA in every airport in the country due to me. This was back in 2002 when TSA was still new. But yeah, I was proud to have done my part. True story. I worked there for another couple years and then moved on.