A shower thought is that profound yet inconsequential consideration you have when the only thing you can do is sit and ponder the universe.
Many thanks to all the Reddit users who shared their profound thoughts.
1. Is that because of the sand?
An hourglass has more moving parts than a complicated wristwatch.
2. Revolutionized the cake industry.
The first time a stripper jumped out of a cake must have been the most legendary bachelor party.
3. Pretty bad.
Tom Hanks is a terrible Captain. His spacecraft suffered catastrophic failure, his plane crashed, his ship was commandeered, and his combat unit was virtually wiped out.
4. Don’t try this at home.
If you froze an egg and threw it through somebody’s window while they’re not in, they would come home to a broken window and a raw unscathed egg and wonder how the hell it happened…
5. Screw bumper stickers.
Even if I agree with your bumper sticker 100%, I still think less of you for having a bumper sticker.
6. I ain’t no rabbit!!
As a child I pretended to like carrots for my parents. As an adult I pretend to like them for my child. I hate carrots.
7. I don’t get it…
It’s off-putting that ( ) ( ) isn’t a palindrome, yet ( ) ) ( is.
8. Never thought of that…
A really underrated accomplishment is that toilets don’t require power to flush.
9. Yeah, that’s weird.
When I was 14, I thought I was so cool because I hung out with 20 year olds. Now that I’ve grown up I’ve realized that they were weirdos for hanging out with me.
10. They are just used to it.
If I were approached by a person 4 feet taller and 10 times stronger than me, I’d be very uncomfortable. But toddlers are totally cool with it.
11. You realize certain things about your parents when you grow up.
When I was younger, I trusted my parents’ driving skills without a doubt. As an adult, riding with my parents terrifies me.
12. I’ve been 18 for a long as I can remember…
Turning 18 would be a much bigger deal if it was impossible to lie about your age on the Internet.
13. That is so true.
Wall-E is the kids version of a Black Mirror episode.
14. No car, no service.
Drive-throughs that wont serve pedestrians are basically saying they have a strict dress code that requires you to wear a car.
15. Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill!
Bill Nye is doing stupid detergent commercials, but I guarantee he could do a Kickstarter titled “Give me money so I don’t have to do stupid detergent commercials” and get at least a million bucks.
16. Stop sending me mail!
Grocery stores in California charge $0.10 for 1 paper bag to discourage waste, but they mail everyone in the neighborhood paper junk mail without anyone asking for free.
17. Stop clapping.
TED talks would be way shorter if people didn’t start clapping every 10 seconds.
18. Ahhh adulthood.
You know you’re getting older when you transition from not having enough money to buy games to not having enough time to play all the games you bought.
19. Where did they all go!?
In my life I’ve bought at least 20 pairs of nail clippers because I lost the last pair, but I never take them out of my house meaning there’s at least 19 places I haven’t seen in my own house.
20. He’s his own final boss.
Bill Gates is like a video game character who’s unlocked everything. All he can do now is self-imposed challenges like cure malaria to keep things interesting.
21. I eat directly out of the can so HA.
If I eat my meal from the frying pan at a restaurant, it’s sophisticated and a sign of quality. If I do it at home, I’m lazy and disgusting.
22. That is absolutely ridiculous.
Nerf darts cost more than most bullets do.
23. Bare minimum.
People are giving Lady Gaga a lot of credit for not lip-syncing, even though actually singing seems to me like it should be the bare-minimum expected of a performer…
24. That’s very true.
Just a thought. I see a lot of older people post that we survived lead paint, no seat belts, no helmets etc. You do understand there are people who didn’t right? That’s probably why they can’t post it on FB.
25. Some of us get a head start.
Monopoly would be a lot more realistic if everyone started out with wildly different amounts of money.
26. At least the soil feels fancy.
There are millions of suits and dresses buried underground.
It’s annoying that when drinking hot chocolate. The marshmallows move away from my mouth but when drinking water the ice tries to force its way into my mouth.
28. That is a horrific idea.
Actually making eye contact would be really gross.
Intentionally losing a game of rock paper scissors is just as hard as winning it.
30. Guess I won’t take up smoking then.
Going to the bathroom with your cellphone at work is this generation’s smoke break.
31. Nice teeth.
Someone cared about Butthead enough to pay for him to have braces.
32. I’m cultured.
If you pirate music or movies instead of buying a copy, then you’re a scumbag. If you read a book from the public library instead of buying a copy, then you’re a cultured part of your local community.
After March, there will be a whole generation of kids that know Emma Watson as Belle instead of Hermione.
34. Very true.
“14 minutes” and “16 minutes” both seem very specific, but “15 minutes” always seems like an estimate.
35. Yeah, why does it say that?
Never once have I written an email and thought, “I hope they know I sent this from my iPhone.”
36. Hmmm… okay I see that.
If a naked woman wears sunglasses it’s like she’s wearing the opposite of a burqa.
37. I guess…
According to supply and demand, the cost of milkshakes should be through the roof since the machine is always broken.
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