Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me! Users of reddit shared their stories on times that major and unlikely mess-ups reared their head twice in the same way, here’s some of the best.
1. Too good at the job.
My dad worked at a gas station in his teens. He cleaned a glass door so well that when he was done, he turned to pick up his bucket, turned back to the door and stepped right through the glass. They docked his wages to pay for it. After the new glass was installed, my dad decided to clean the installer’s fingerprints off the glass. When he was done, he turned to pick up his bucket…
2. Let me show you how it happened!
Fell down a flight of stairs twice. Intentionally.
First time was when I was 4, reading a book on how a turtle cracked its shell to become wise, so I decided to crack my own shell by throwing myself down the stairs. (If this sounds familiar, I’ve shared this story before).
Second time was when I was demonstrating to a friend about the scenario above. I only really meant to jump down two stairs as an example, but I just kept on going….
3. Think of the lost research!
Broke 6,000 USD high pressure mercury penetrometer. Two of them. Within half an hour. The lab had to shut the porosimetry section because they didn’t have enough penetrometers to keep processing samples.
4. Inter-state love.
Moving to another state twice for two different dudes I met online. The same state. Will be moving back to the same state soon for another dude. 3rd times a charm right?
5. Everybody lived.
7th grade. Was shooting spitballs in class. Teacher turns around for a second, war begins. I shot first this round and got my friend, 30 feet across the room in the mouth as he was inhaling to power his spitball. He immediately fishhooks himself with his pinky finger in his cheek and starts gagging, then choking. Teacher freaks and tries to do the heimlich thing. Ambulance arrives, parents were called, investigation took place. Everybody lived.
15 or so years later I’m in the army, in AIT. We are shining our boots with polish, cotton balls, and water. People start throwing these wet, nasty, boot polish soaked cotton balls at each other just messing around. I throw one and as you might have guessed, right in my friends mouth about 30 feet away. Same pinky fishhook in the cheek, same cat with a hairball horking / gagging noise, followed by choking, heimlich, and an investigation.
6. Whoopsie! Oh! Whoopsie again!
Reaching for a friend’s shoulder, she happened to twist at the same time and I got a handful of boob. Shocked, I reached with the other hand to apologize, and reacting to the boob grab, she twisted again. I got another handful of boob!
7. Kick it like this!
Once a new kid came to my class for the first trip, and we were in the gym for “recess”. So my friend and I had been playing with the ball, and she accidentally kicked it into his face. She apologized and we moved on. I grabbed the ball a few moments later and told her, “Don’t kick it like that, kick it like this!” Before immediately punting it straight into his face again. The shame was unreal.
8. She needed to finish lunch.
I was cooking a grilled cheese sandwich in a frying pan. It was time to flip the sandwich, but it was kind of stuck to the pan. I was trying to get it with the spatula, but the pan kept scooting away from me. So I reached down with the other empty hand and steadied the pan’s edge with my bare finger as I flipped the sandwich.
I immediately realized what I’d done since I’d put a second-degree burn on that finger, but I needed to finish my lunch. And sure enough, in two minutes’ time when I needed to flip the sandwich back over, I steadied the pan with that same finger again.
9. No no no no no no
I drank a glass of cider with a huge earwig in it. Didn’t notice until I’d drank half the glass. Freaked out, got another cup. Got pretty drunk, forgot about the earwig glass. Yeah, I drank from it again. The disgusting little thing tickled my lip. I feel unwell thinking about it.
10. America! I’ve made it at last.
In ’97, first time in the states, I was at a party. I was inside, someone outside called for me. We don’t have screen doors where I live, so I didn’t know to look out for it, and so walked directly into it and fell down to everyone’s amusement. Several hours later, an even drunker me decided to step outside again. This time I looked out for the screen door, only to walk into the now closed glass door.
11. The incredible power of a foot going into a sock.
I broke my toe when I was standing and putting on socks. I guess I was using a ton of force cause I missed the sock and kicked the floor. After my toe healed, the same day i took off the foot cast thingy they gave me, I broke my big toe again, same one.
I put on socks sitting down now.
12. Little rascals at play
I think I was 8 years old and attending this big halloween party in a small town. There must have been +50 people at the party from all ages. And what do kids at these kinds of parties do? Run around chasing each other and have fun. Doing kids stuff, you know. Well, I was having fun with my step-sister, running through the crowd of people when suddenly I fall down and hear someone behind me swear out loud. I had tripped on some old mans cane and he too had fallen down, hitting the ground shoulder first. I was mortified and started to cry from shame but the fall was soon forgotten and the night continued.
Two years pass. Same halloween party with same people attending. Same old man standing in the crowd with his cane.. and there i went again, tripping myself and he falling down shoulder first.
From that day I did my everything to avoid him at these parties.
13. Accidental generosity.
I accidentally gave a homeless drug addict (I realized this later) a $50 note instead of a 5$ and then did the same thing a month ago to the same guy.
14. Just to see what would happen.
When I was like 7 I was in my dad’s apartment and it was really hot, so he put on a fan. I was entranced by the fan, so in my infinite wisdom I put my finger between the blades to see what would happen. Cue me almost losing my left index finger. I go show my dad and he laughs and bandages it and whatever.
I come in 20 minutes later, bandage in left hand, blood everywhere on my right hand. When he asked what happened I told him I wanted to see if the same thing would happen to my other hand. It did.
15. The slip.
Found myself in a hotel room with beer and no bottle opener, had seen people using lighters to open bottles and figured it shouldn’t be too hard. Lighter slipped, sliced off actual chunk of flesh from finger on the bottle cap, left with a very scarred knuckle. 5 year later I found myself in the exact same situation and did the exact same thing. It took two scarred knuckles to figure out that maybe I should just keep a bottle opener on me when I travel.
16. Someone stop this person.
Got drunk, punched a window for fun (because they do it in the movies), shattered my wrist, mangled my hand so severely you could see my tendons through the cuts. Arterial spray was so bad that I got blood on the celling.
2 years later, got drunk, punched the same window, because somehow I decided the new glass I had put up was weaker than the previous (it was simply modern, thinner glass). The underbelly of my hand (karate chop area) was practically cut off, severed my thumb tendon and cut up my radial nerve so badly that I lost all feeling from under my palm up to the middle of my forearm.
You’d think that was the end of it… fast forward 6 months later, messing around with thick working gloves made for handling barbed wire. I spotted a panel of glass leaning against a wall, and figured I’d get my revenge, because no way anything can cut through this armored gauntlet looking glove. Punched said glass, ended up with a 6cm shard of glass stuck to my wrist.
17. Sounds messy.
Trust my cheating boyfriend.
18. Stay away from barns.
Walking in my grandparent’s barn in the hay loft. Didn’t know a hay loft would have an opening in the floor to toss hay bales into the horse stalls below. Also didn’t know my grandfather had put a thin sheet of plexiglass over the opening because he didn’t feed them in the stalls and didn’t want the hay falling down into the stalls by accident. The plexiglass had gotten pretty much covered completely by hay. So as my cousins and I were walking through the loft, I stepped into the plexiglass… and disappeared into the horse stall below. I was maybe 6 years old and it was a good 15ft drop, so not a minor thing. I wasn’t injured but it was a very scary event. Parents were retrieved, I was crying, it became a moderately big deal. Luckily the stall was empty at the time.
About 2 years later I’d basically forgotten about the whole thing, but my cousins had not. Again we were playing around in the hay loft. One if my cousins dared me to walk across a stretch of the floor that was covered with hay (the plexiglass had been replaced). Being one of the youngest of the cousins of course I was not going to chicken out on such a simple dare. So I did… and again disappeared into the horse stall. This time falling in right behind the very big, very skittish Arabian horse my grandparent’s owned. To this day no one can understand why that horse didn’t kick out, he would freak out at everything. But he just looked back at me very confused as to why this small screaming human had suddenly appeared in his stall…
I was not allowed in the barn anymore after that.
19. That’s one way to deal with it.
Chipped a front tooth biting my nails. Three times. Same tooth, same nail.
After the last time I said whatever and got a silver tooth.
20. Hey grandpa!
Dick-pic to grandpa. Honestly the second time was easier to explain.
21. He’s ready to help.
My father-in-law has twice sponsored Nigerian princes.
22. Tawny’s world.
Oh man, there are no once-in-a-lifetime mess ups in my world. In the past two months I’ve blown the tires on two rental cars immediately after pulling out of the lot. Last night I had to break into my own apartment after forgetting my keys but it’s cool, I’ve done this before. Earlier this summer I dropped my phone in water, got it replaced, and dropped my new phone in water in a span of about 48 hours. I accidentally put ear medicine in my eye twice (the bottle looks like a bottle of eye drops) before I decided to throw out the bottle. I’ve broken two lemon juicers by pressing them two hard. I’ve missed… several flights after writing down the wrong date or time.
23. Maybe just tell the story next time.
When I was much younger I used to bite down a bit on a glass when I was drinking it and one day I bit through it and cut my mouth.
A few weeks later I was out with my parents for dinner and they were telling some friends about what I did and I said “it was like this” and bit down on the glass breaking it and cutting my mouth again!
24. A consistent shooter.
I was at a shooting range and managed to hit the clip holding the target and it broke. The range manager guy came and replaced the clip, replaced the target and gave me the go ahead to start shooting again.
I aimed, pulled the trigger and hit the brand new clip and broke it again.
25. The curse of carbon.
One time I tried to make a mixed drink in a martini shaker, and said drink had soda in it… The lid blew off and sprayed soda and vodka everywhere, it was a huge mess and I vowed to learn my lesson.
Then somewhere down the road several years later I found myself doing it again, and I realized what I had done with the clarity of a Vietnam flashback only moments before the lid popped off and sprayed soda everywhere.
26. Not helping.
My friend’s dad was dying of terminal cancer, and decided to marry his girlfriend before he died. When talking to said friend, to her extreme distress, I accidentally called the wedding a funeral. Realizing my mistake, I tried to correct myself by saying “Oh god I’m sorry I meant funeral!” I called it a funeral twice. Not good.
27. The great and unintended deluge.
So I was asked by a family that lived down the road to look after their assorted chickens/ ducks while they were away for a few days. All I had to do was feed the chickens, change their water and turn a tap on for a few minutes to top up the tiny duck pool. Fine, no probs, easy – except I didnt turn the tap off. I realized about 6 hrs later, got over there as quickly as I could and was witness to a scene of complete chaos. the garden was totally flooded, which the ducks were loving! the chickens were gathered on a tiny slowly shrinking island and everything was generally in a right state. Mercifully the water drained over the next few days and I managed to tidy up enough to completely get away with it. The family was so please in fact that they asked me to look after their birds again about 6 months later. And yes, the next time I left the tap on and did exactly the same thing again.
28. Things got hot and spicy that night.
Cut up a Naga-Limon hybrid chilli (Delicious by the way) but extremely hot. Used my bare hands to pick up the chilli flakes and deposited them in my mince mix.
Front door bell goes. Drop everything and open the door, its my mate whos come round and brought his girlfriend. I shake both their hands. Didnt even realize.
Later that night, after we’d eaten and they had gone to bed. I hear a ear piercing scream from the bedroom. At first I thought, meh, maybe they are into kinky stuff. Nope. She comes running downstairs nearly naked and straight into the bathroom, shower on, crying, sobbing, desperate pleas to God for mercy etc. Shortly afterward, boyfriend comes flying downstairs nearly naked and nearly knocks the door down trying to get in the bathroom.
After a good half hour of pain and misery, they both emerge. She has panda eyes from all of the tears, his face and eyes are incredibly red but hes holding his boxers tight.
I put two and two together, basically they had gotten a little frisky upstairs, with Naga chilli all over their hands, which had obviously wandered to intimate places. I was not a popular man that evening.
Later that month, I took another Naga-Limon from the freezer, defrosted it and chopped it up. Used my bare hands to dump it in the stew. Both cats come in the cat flap and decide to make a fuss about being fed, so being the kind owner I am I dole out some cold cuts from the fridge…with my bare hands.
Both cats, after wolfing down the cold cuts, start projectile vomiting everywhere and drinking the water dry, licking themselves and generally meowing and panting. I have never laughed so hard and felt so bad.
29. Really enthusiastic about Waterworld.
I paid for Waterworld on demand then got drunk and bought it again on itunes.
30. Life and Death in the Mortal Realm.
A friend had the following story:
When he was a kid his family climbed into the car to leave for Sunday church services. They felt an uncomfortable thump as they left the garage. To everyone’s horror, their father had just backed over the family cat. It was dead.
The father decided to make the best of the situation.
Remaining calm, he explained that death was an integral part of life here in the mortal realm, that all things have a “natural time” and that this would be an opportunity for the family to proceed to church services, spend some quality time remembering the dearly departed pet, celebrate their lives together as a family, be thankful for their many blessings, cherish each other, and then go have a comforting Sunday brunch together at their favorite restaurant.
This all went according to plan.
Except that, when they arrived home and pulled into the driveway, the father ran over their other cat.