Ladies, have you ever looked at a man and thought, “what is he thinking?” or “why doesn’t he know what I want.” Men aren’t mind readers, and neither are you. Instead of arguing back and forth and never getting any where, we thought we’d help you gain some insight into the mind of a man.
Here are a few secrets men reveal about themselves, so you have a better understanding into what makes them tick.
1. Thought Process
That when I’m sitting and not saying anything I’m probably not mad. I’m just thinking about the technical aspects of riding dinosaurs or something else important.
2. Itchy and Scratchy
When I scratch myself or re-adjust myself down below, I am not getting sexual pleasure from it.
3. Doesn’t Mean Anything
To clarify, an erection does not equal horny. It does not mean I want to have sex now. It’s just blood in my penis doing stuff to my muscles.
4. Friends Forever
I can go weeks without going out with my friends and our friendship doesn’t get strained.
Ball pain. It’s not so much the magnitude, as I’m sure it’s not actually worse than something like childbirth. It’s more the manifestation. If you get kicked in the head, your head hurts. If you get kicked in the balls, your balls hurt… but then the pain like, migrates through you, into your guts, and face and head.
6. All By Myself
Just because I wanna do stuff by myself sometimes does not mean I don’t like being around you.
I can not physically put my knees together because it hurts.
8. First Time
Why are you surprised that I don’t know how to take off a bra? Where would I have learned how to?
9. Missing The Target
It’s not that we do not aim, the urine sometimes split streams or something.
10. I Don’t Care
When I say, “I don’t care”, I actually mean it. When you ask me to pick between trivial things and I say I don’t care, it means it makes no difference to me at all one way or another. Pick what you want.
11. Take A Hint
I do not pick up on hints… at all. If you want something, tell me.
12. Name Game
Guys can call each other the most appalling names and still be great friends.
13. Roll With The Punches
When girls “play” punch it can hurt, when done repeatedly it hurts more. We won’t flinch and we’ll even laugh but in my head I’m like “if you were a dude…”.
14. “I was in the pool!”
Shrinkage is a real thing.
15. Live, Laugh, Cry
Men have feelings. We laugh, we cry, we hurt. Please be aware of this and treat us with the same dignity that you wish to be treated. Don’t assume that we are giant uncaring boulders, and definitely don’t tell us to man up if we share our problems.
16. The Nod
Downwards for respect, upwards if you know them.
17. Constant Craving
As men we crave compliments. Nothing will make us happier then to be told we look good, smell good, etc.
This is why, I believe, we men tend to compliment women to much sometimes. We sometimes over use the golden rule, we treat women as we want to be treated.
The primal fascination with all forms of competition and/or combat.
19. Clean Cut
That sometimes I like to go a few days without shaving.
It’s not because I’m thinking of growing a beard or that I’m being too lazy to shave. It’s simply something in my nature that I do.
When I watch t.v and put my hand down my pants and i’m not sexually pleasuring myself. It’s just comfortable to cup myself and its something that happens without thinking about it.
21. How’s It Hanging?
There is a big difference when wearing boxers if your trio hangs to the left or to the right.
22. Handle With Care
How fragile a man’s stature can be. Got rejected by a girl? Loser. Can’t provide for the family? Loser. Can’t pleasure your lady? Loser. Oh you’re wife earns more than you? What a loser. Not universally true, but everyone looks up to the man of the house but people are quick to judge when a man fails to deliver.
23. Blue Balls
Imagine putting your hand out in subzero temperatures until you can’t feel it anymore, when it goes so numb you can’t even move it. Then wait some. Now think about the pain that comes later, when you recover the sensitivity in your hand and your very nerves are screaming. There’s absolutely nothing you can do about it, it will just hurt for a long while, until normal blood flow is restored.
24. Mr. Forgetful
I forget 90% of all conversations I ever have before my morning coffee.
25. To The Bat Cave!
My balls are made of bat wing material and I have no idea why they stick to my leg or penis.
26. The Wiggles
Having to adjust your balls in public after sitting for a while. It can get so uncomfortable. You end up having to wiggle your whole body around because you (obviously) can’t just reach in there.
27. Snow Day
Urinating your name into the snow, is the best thing ever.
28. Shower Beer
A can of beer in a hot shower after work is really refreshing and relaxing.
It is impossible for women to understand what it’s like to automatically be considered creepy by all random women/girls a guy encounters until proven otherwise.
30. Trust No One
I don’t care of he’s just a friend, gay, has a wife and kids, or 90 years old. I don’t trust him.
31. We Like You
No guys really care about what color your nails are, how you did your hair, or what new shoes you bought. It’s all the same to us. If we like you for you, the rest of that doesn’t matter.
33. Gas Attack
Farts are funny.
Farts are ALWAYS funny.
34. Time On The Throne
That I don’t need to spend 45 minutes taking a dump, I simply want too.
Women will never understand that I’ll never understand ‘venting’. I don’t understand what is accomplished by complaining about someone at work without any desire to act on any advice. It’s an innate desire to complain and be angry for no reason. I don’t understand “getting things off your chest”. Apparently it accomplishes something, but I will never know, and women will never understand why I can’t understand.