Every family home has it’s own unique culture, which may or may not appear completely strange to outsiders. Reddit users were asked about their best stories about weird happenings at a friend’s house, here’s some of the most outrageous ones!
1. Make sure to water your carpet!
I knew a girl who would get glasses of water and whenever she couldn’t finish the whole thing, she would dump the rest on the carpet because “it just absorbs it”
2. How very meta.
I went to highschool with a girl whose family would dress up their house like a model home being sold or something. For example the dining room table was dressed with a plastic thanksgiving feast, with plastic food on nice plates and fake wine in fake glasses. When you walked into her bedroom the bed was made with top corner open as if she just got out of bed and there was a tray with a fake bowl of cereal and a fake glass of orange juice. On the floor were coloring books and crayons as if a child lived in the room… They kept the place spotless and every room had an odd theme of fake living. Her parent’s bedroom had quite a few large african animal statues and fake rose petals leading to the bed.
3. The floor accepts all.
Whole items of food left for days on the floor. Toddler not interested in that apple? That’s fine, just leave it there on the floor where he threw it. It will work its way under a piece of furniture and out of sight if we give it some time. Once I went to these people’s house and there was an entire sandwich sitting in the corner of the living room floor. I was so distracted by it I didn’t really hear much of what was said during that visit. I just sat and stared at the floorwich.
4. So very precious.
When I moved cities in grade 2 or 3 I didn’t know anyone. I met someone the first day and he invited me to his house that weekend to stay over. Everything was great, we played GameCube and stayed up until 3am (the latest I had been awake up to that point). He said we had to sleep in the basement so that we don’t wake his parents when we went upstairs. We go downstairs with our sleeping bags and immediately I knew something was wrong. The worst smell I’ve ever experienced filled my nostrils the further we descended. In the corner of the room was a bed covered in what looked like crusty blood and some pus-coloured streaks. Turns out his mother had a home birth the week before and kept the sheets as a memento. I haven’t been back since.
5. A less than welcoming home.
I was friends with my little league baseball coach’s son. One day I was invited to their house for a “play date”, as I walked through the door I saw a huge framed white cloth with some weird symbol; I didn’t think much about it because at the time I didn’t know wtf it was.. My coach noticed me looking at it as I entered the house and said “My Granddad wore that, its been in the family for years”… naturally I was like oh ok whatever and thought nothing of it again… now that I am older.. I realize what it was (kkk robe)…I am not white…
6. Not what closets are for.
When my brother and I were kids, we would often comment that our next door neighbor’s house smelled like pee.
One day my brother was playing video games with the kid from next door (at his house) and asked to use the restroom.
The kid said, “We just pee here,” and started peeing in the closet.
7. Be prepared.
Bathroom machete. Because, you know, “Just in case, man.”
It’s literally nothing more than a real machete that hangs in their bathroom, so if someone breaks in while you’re fighting dirt dragons, you aren’t at a total disadvantage. Everyone there was surprised when I said I’d never heard of it.
I now keep a bathroom hammer handy, it’s a great idea.
8. That’s one way to own a dog
Had a friend in high school. Went to his house for the first time and everything smelled like piss. Turns out he had a dog and his family never bothered to potty train or clean up after it. Everything in the house was covered in old dried up urine and fresh puddles. While I was there the dog peed on my friend’s bed and he didn’t even care. He literally sleeps in his dog’s piss. Even I got pissed on.
Never went to his house again.
9. The carpet is lava.
The extent to which the owners had gone to “preserve” their furniture. Each piece of furniture, including the lamp shades, had a custom-cut plastic shell draped over it. Every furniture leg had a plastic bowl underneath it to distribute weight across the carpet, preventing indents.
The strangest part was the plastic pathways laid out across the floor. These pathways were kind of like “plastic carpets” laid on top of the real carpet. You weren’t allowed to walk on the actual carpet – instead, you had to walk on these plastic mats that criss-crossed the floor and connected all the rooms to each other.
10. Do not disturb?
My friends dad. When I was a kid I used to stay for dinner as kids do. But the dad would not eat with us. The mom would make a plate of food, take it down the hall and slide it halfway under the door to the basement. A few seconds later the plate would slowly slide under the door. Nobody at the house seemed to think this was odd.
The other odd thing this family did was every weeknight at 7:00 on the dot, the family would clear out of the living room so the dad could come and watch Star Trek. Once the show was over, he would go back into the basement and the family would move back into the living-room.
The father was quiet but seemed to be normal other than those odd habits. The family thought none of that was weird and my friend thought it was “funny” my dad ate with us at dinner.
11. Everyone has their time.
A 5-year old in diapers.
I was an adult literacy volunteer and I went to this couple’s trailer. A kid walks in shirtless, wearing a diaper. At first, I thought it was a joke. Then I thought maybe developmental issues. Then the mother says “’bout time ta change ‘at diaper ain’t it?” And the boy said defiantly, “You ain’t gonna change my diaper.”
12. Anything can be normalized!
My friends mom often threatened to murder the whole family when she was angry. This was very scary to me but my friend hardly thought anything of it. She just acts like that was normal mom stuff.
13. Don’t tell anybody!
I went to a friends house and they had their halls lined with grandfather clocks. This was a little weird but nothing major. The weird part came when his dad told me and my friend “don’t you kids go around telling anybody about my clocks”. Now Ill never forget about his precious clocks.
14. Family tradition?
A cow tongue in place of a birthday cake. It wasn’t like they couldn’t afford a birthday cake either. They just had a cow tongue with a single candle in it.
15. How to gift someone with bathroom anxiety.
I was about 12-13, visiting my best friend’s house for the first time. After lunch, I get the urge to take a dump, so I go to the restroom, do my thing, finish up, and flush.
Nothing. Nothing happens. I take a step back, flush again. Still nothing. So I start freaking out. I’m a kid, I just broke my friend’s toilet, I don’t have any money to pay to fix it or buy a new one. I’m standing there, sweating, trying to figure out a plan, and after 15 minutes I still got nothing.
I finally decide to fess up. I mean, I can’t stay in there all day, they’ll eventually figure out something is wrong, right? I step outside and sheepishly tell his mom that I broke the toilet. She starts laughing, goes into the bathroom and turns on the water flow to the toilet, waits a few minutes, then flushes, easy peasy. Everyone – the best friend, his mom, and his sister – then takes the opportunity to start laughing at me because I didn’t know it was “normal” to turn the water on/off whenever I needed to use the bathroom.
To this day if I’m unfamiliar with a restroom, I always do a precautionary flush just to make sure everything is working the way it should.
16. Oh how fascinating!
When I was dating my first girlfriend in high school, I was invited over to her house for dinner and meet the parents, etc. At one point I was talking with her father in his study and noticed lots of old-looking phallic objects on the shelves in the room. On closer inspection, they were mummified penises, dozens of them. Turns out he was a urologist and an amateur archaeologist.
17. Dad has to be sure.
One summer when I was about 13 a friend of mine had a friend from her school that invited us over to go swimming in her pool. We go to her place and are shown to her room to change. As I’m changing my friend suddenly whispers “what the ****?”. I turn around and see a bunch of used sanitary pads lined up on this girls desk. She comes to join us in her room and my friend flat out asks her what the pads are all about. She says very plainly “they’re for my dad so he can check that I’m not pregnant”.
18. Told you so.
My parents were in a bowling league and would bring me with them. I made friends with a girl who hung out at the bowling alley because she lived in a home on an acre next to it. She invited me to come to her house while my parents bowled. I asked my parents and they said I could. We walk to her house, and when I walk in there is a lion cub chained to a coffee table in the front room. She asks me if I want to pet the lion, of course I do! I pet the lion, we hang out, and I go back to the bowling alley like nothing happened. I tell my parents and they are like sure you pet a lion. Years later when I am reading the paper, the girl and her family are arrested for illegally having exotic cats. I show my parents and have the best “told you so” moment in my life.
19. No confidence issues there.
One of my wife’s co-workers invited us to a dinner party. He’s a very accomplished doctor who is, supposedly, considered the foremost authority in his specialty. I knew the man had a huge ego but nothing prepared me for what I saw when we went to his home.
As soon as we walked in the door there was a life size painting of himself that one of his patients had given him as a gift. Nothing strange about that, he saved a patients life and they were very grateful so they gave him a painting. His wife takes our jackets, hangs them up then walks us to his massive living room where the rest of the guests are mingling. As I looked around the room to take in what a magnificent home this man has I noticed that there are hundreds of pictures lining his shelves and walls. Every, single one of those pictures was of him. Not of his wife, not of his four children, not of his siblings, parents, or someone he admires. Even the pictures that looked like they may have been group photos were cropped so that only he could be seen.
I’m terrible at hiding my true feelings, my face usually gives me away every time but I spent the next hour desperately trying to pretend like this wasn’t remotely strange. After a few drinks I decided to head to the bathroom, I had to take a dump and I’m not shy about doing so at another person’s home. I walked into their guest bathroom, closed the door, lifted up the lid, sat down and grabbed one of a dozen books that were sitting next to the toilet. The first book I picked up is written by our host, so I picked up another book and it is also written by our host. I looked at the book ends and ALL of them are written by our host. Part amused and part disgusted I looked up and noticed there is a picture on a small table across from the toilet. It’s our host again, staring at me in the picture while I’m taking a dump…..
20. No. no no no no no.
A white carpeted kitchen…
21. A family’s common love.
Once when I was a kid I was invited to stay over for dinner at a friend’s house. My friend’s mother poured a large quantity of ketchup into a cereal bowl, which the entire family all casually dipped their fingers into and licked throughout the meal.
22. Out of sight, out of mind.
I was invited over to a friend’s house for dinner for the first time. Now, for staging purposes, they all sit around the living room to eat as a family. They have these two large dogs. So, I ask beforehand, as I always do, what the rules are with the dogs and food.
Am I supposed to ignore begging? Can I give them a bite? What kind of stuff can I feed them? Do they have to do a trick to get some?
They tell me that not only can I feed them whatever I want, but that all the plates are given to the dogs after the meal and that the dogs would hassle you if you took the plate straight to the kitchen.
So, I finish my meal. Which was decent… And I lay my plate down for the dogs. They clean it up quite nicely. I pick it up to take to the kitchen and I ask if it goes in the sink or the dishwasher. They said to put it back in the cabinet because the dogs clean it good enough to eat off of. I laughed at the joke and then kinda reiterated my question.
IT WASN’T A JOKE!
My friend walked in to the kitchen and put her plate, her boyfriend’s plate, and her mom and dad’s plate all in the cabinet with the other “clean” dishes. I could have been sick. I dropped all contact with them. That was just too much.