We all know couples can be weird. When two people fall in love it can become easy to overlook some of the strange stuff they do sometimes these weird things even become endearing. This is a list of the strangest and most disgusting things couples find cute about their partners.
1. He likes to slurp my skin. I am never safe. Cuddling in bed? My face gets licked. Squirm away? Arm is getting licked. Is he snuggling me to be cute or to slurp my face? It’s to slurp my face. It’s gotten to the disgusting point where both of us just leave our tongues on each other. We’re gross. I love him.
2. She is always the little spoon and farts on my thighs. She giggles in her sleep when she does do it and pulls herself in closer to me.
3. She laughs when she farts in the bathroom. I’ll be doing something else in the apartment and I’ll just hear POOT “HEE HEE HEE HEEE”
4. He has no sense of his own digestive system. We’ll be midway into a conversation when he suddenly gets up and runs to the bathroom. This happened maybe 2 minutes ago, which is why I’m here, posting this comment, instead of talking to him. It’s like pooping is a new experience for him every time.
5. My SO sweats really bad when we have sex and his sweat usually drips on me, but after we’re done, he dries me off. Kinda gross, but not really.
6. My SO’s balls are always hot. He gets so hot at times that he has to sit on ice packs to try and cool off. As long as I can remember my feet have always been ice cold. One night he was icing his balls while he had my toes tucked under his butt. He got a brilliant idea, he grabbed my feet and stuck them under his sack! What came next was the most satisfying feeling in the world for the both of us. Now this happens on a regular basis. We are a perfect match.
7. Almost every morning, while I’m eating breakfast, he will come into the living room and loudly whisper my name and I’ll look over to see him in his boxers with his morning wood hanging out with a goofy grin on his face. I think it’s his way of saying good morning.
8. My SO grooms me. She will pluck random hairs (usually without me know she is going to do it). She also will pop pimples and shaves spots that I miss while we are in the shower. Though my favorite is plucking the few grays I get on the top of my head every once in a while. We are an odd couple but fit perfectly.
9. My gf plucks the hair off the edge of my nipples. I have the smoothest nipples in the world.
10. Tells me “I have to fart” before he does it, as if he’s asking for permission, so I tell him to go ahead. He then proceeds to make the tiniest fart sound I’ve ever heard and erupts into a fit of giggles I didn’t know a 22-year-old man could make.
11. When my wife is bored, she does this thing where she makes a tiny pool of spit in her tongue then curls her tongue and somehow it makes a bubble. Then she gently blows and this dainty little spit bubble flutters through the air and lands somewhere and pops. She’ll watch it closely but with a bored look on her face. I think she’s aiming at things. She’s tried to teach our niece but the poor girl just dribbled big globs of spit down her chin.
12. For nearly a year, during any idle moment alone together she would sing Jingle Bells.
13. My SO will come out of the shower with his music playing some times. I’ll just be sitting in a chair or laying bed and he will start dancing and then rip his towel off and shake his package in my face. When I try to touch him or push him away, he slaps my hand and yells, “Don’t touch the stripper!”
I have to endure this for about 2 songs.
14. My girlfriend sleeps with her eyes open. Not fully open, though. That can be really creepy. They’re slightly open, usually, and sometimes they’re half open. It’s borderline creepy but not exactly there. Sometimes when I’m driving I can’t tell if she’s awake so I wave my hand in front of her (I’m driving, don’t worry) just to test it.
15. He farts and then blames our 3.5-month-old son. Every time. It’s especially hilarious when it’s a monster fart.
16. I was up far later than my partner one night, and I farted so hard that I woke her up. She rolled over and muttered “That sounded like a turtle dying.” And then rolled back over and passed out. She has no recollection of it and still can’t explain what she meant.
17. He likes to make shapes with his junk (snail, hamburger, elephant). I really can’t explain the mechanics of it, but I’m sure other guys will get what I mean. Also, he taught me how to armpit fart.
18. After a year dating, my GF started showing me her gassy side. She will randomly fart and look at me with a cute face, shrug, and say, “It just fell out.”
19. After she farts, my girlfriend always says, “Did you hear what that a-hole said?”
20. If my husband has stayed up super late (which happens a lot since we’re both DJs) and I wake up first, I can usually get him to say nonsensical things in his sleep. He’s said things like “I don’t need a time compass,” “Where’s the cheese?” and “Don’t touch me! My wife’s gonna kill you.”
21. She likes to pop my black heads with great vigor.
22. My ex used to dutch oven me. I’d be drifting off to sleep and I’d feel her slip the covers over my head and giggle, “Te-hee hee farts.”
23. She burps proudly like a beer-chugging truck driver.
24. Early in my relationship with my current girlfriend, we went out to eat with one of her friends once and she wasn’t feeling good and embarrassingly ran to the bathroom. She sent me a snapchat of her sitting on the toilet with the monkey covering its face emoji saying she was embarrassed. I laughed so hard and reassured her that everybody poops.
Since then, I make an effort to take a selfie whenever I poop to make her feel better. I don’t think she understands that’s why I do it and she probably thinks I’m doing it to make fun of her, but she started recently sending me back poop selfies so that’s kinda cute.
25. My boyfriend snores like a moose mating call. How do I know its a moose? We went to a family friends house in VT and were camping outside their house since they have cats, and Im severely allergic to them. We were right by the woods as well. Well, in the middle of the night I wake up, SO is snoring up a storm, but every time he pauses I hear another distant sound. Something was answering him and getting closer. I was frantically trying to wake him up but I swear he goes into a coma every night and I just couldnt wake him up. Dear God, this noise was getting louder, I could hear branches snapping, bushes rustling. I finally managed to wake him up but that thing was still answering him for like 5 minutes till it moved off. I was terrified that night, but I miss it dearly whenever hes not around.
26. We wipe each other’s runny noses and when we shower together I help her wash everything.
27. When I’m sitting on the couch, my boyfriend will come up behind me and wrap my hair around his penis.
28. Try to break up with me, its adorable.
29. Picks her nose and rolls the snot into little tennis ball boogers then flicks them at the cat.
30. My wife cleans my ears out with her pinky nail.
31. My ex gf used to sit up on the toilet seat to shitwith like two feet on the seat. Then, she’d call me into the bathroom for something just as she was going and laugh when I was grossed out.
32. She never lets me wear any clothing at home. I come home from work and she’ll be like “PANTS GO OFF NAO!” If I put on a pair of pajamas or something, she gives me a look like I betrayed her.
33. My SO likes to put my head on his crotch and say, “Shh, everything is going to be OK.” I always reply, “I’m glad your penis is there for me.”
34. My girlfriend slaps me. In the face. A lot. But strangely I really like it. She always asks permission, and never does it out of any emotion related to anger. And she kisses me on the cheek after a good one. But she always has an urge to slap me, and for some reason I’ve always weirdly enjoyed being slapped/punched in the head/face (as long as the eyes, nose, or ears aren’t being hit). So, it works out, I guess.
35. Helicopter dick spin. I love the HDS so much.
36. She likes to try to make me fart. Most people would probably think that’s bizarre but shes so light hearted about it that it’s fun.
37. I broke my knee over the summer, so my girlfriend had to help me get onto the toilet without hurting myself. Now that I’m better, it’s just a routine. She got sad the one time she was around and I tried to go poop without her.
38. My SO’s left hand wanders all over the place in his sleep. His wrist hangs limp so he’s not really reaching for anything, his arm just compulsively moves around. We’ve lived together for over a year, this literally happens every night. At first I thought he was possessed but now it’s just hilarious.
39. My wife hated my snoring, but admitted missing it when we separated.