Never be rude to the people who make your food. Unfortunately for them, people often forget this, As you’ll see here, with very gross consequences. Stories provided by Reddit users!
1. The great ones.
When young, I had a friend as old as I am now(88). He would tell me about the time he worked as a waiter in Los Angeles best hotel, where ‘la crme de la crme’ would congregate. Of course, some of these millionaires (the dollar was worth something then, so the Rosthchilds were probably the only billionaires) were a royal pain in the butt, imperiously inflicting numerous demands and complaints on their unfortunate ‘inferiors.’ He told me spitting in the food was fairly common, though another ‘trick’ was used on the more obnoxious plutocrats when they demanded water. The resentful waiter would open his fly and slosh his member in the great ones pitcher of water. That ritual completed, the offended waiter would deferentially deliver the water to the unsuspecting ‘great ones’ suite to be consumed.
2. Here’s Johnny.
I worked as a server years ago, and I really loved everyone on staff. My coworker Johnny and I were super close. He was kind of a flamboyant, sassy gay man, and most customers got a kick out of him. One day a couple of redneck guys came in and were sitting in Johnny’s section. I was in the kitchen talking to the cook when Johnny came back fuming. ‘Those a–holes just called me a faggot to my face!’ He said, looking like he was either going to cry or punch something. I couldn’t believe it. Everybody loved Johnny. He handed the cook the table’s order and walked away. I looked at the cook and I asked him to call me when the order was ready. He did, then left the kitchen, saying ‘I know nothing!’ I casually took the top bun off the burger, and used it to scrub a little bit of the floor… underneath the oven, where the floor wasn’t cleaned often. I popped the bun back on the burger and told Johnny his order was up. Only after the customer ate the entire burger did I tell Johnny what I had done. He laughed for such a long time! That was the only time I ever messed with a customer’s food, but I don’t regret it at all.
3. She would never do it again.
Does serving caffeinated instead of decaf (because it was the end of the shift and I didn’t want to get the machine dirty again) count? If so, yes. But I didn’t have anything against the customer, other than the general contempt I used to feel for people who asked for decaf–that has changed, now that I’m more caffeine sensitive! Just to be clear: I would NEVER do this again. But teenagers aren’t exactly known for their good judgement.
4. Drain pipe sludge sauce
When I was younger I was working in a steakhouse around closing time. Only one waiter and the bartender were left to serve customers. We of course got the inevitable rush. Luckily we had our best and nicest waiter as the closer. He stopped by a lone person at a table and took the drink order. It shortly became apparent the even he was overwhelmed by the onslaught. So the bartender came over and said she would be taking over the table. The customer was overjoyed that the beautiful, petite blonde would be his new waitress. He even told her ‘good, I didn’t want a f–king (insert the derogatory black term starting with n) handling my food.’ She of course reported this to the rest of the staff. The offended waiter said that he was hurt by the comment but understood that some people of a slightly older generation had difficulty overcoming the bigotry they were raised with. However, the mostly black kitchen staff, many of whom were on a prison work release program didn’t take it so well. The burger pre and post cooking as well as most parts of it became intimately acquainted with many butts and sets of genitalia. My personal contribution involved opening the drain pipe in the floor and grabbing some sludgy extra flavor. Was it wrong of us? Of course. Do we care to this day? Not a bit. As a bonus, the customer said it was one of the best burgers he ever had and slapped the waitress on the butt.
5. Zit juice soup.
There are two stories from my work place (college cafeteria) that stick out. I wasn’t there but they are famous. The first was at the sub-sandwich bar. A customer was rude so a co-worker decided to mess with this person. He made sure the customer wasn’t looking and dipped the cheese in jalapeno juice. Made sure it had a nice thick coat. The customer never knew until he took that first bite (not that he could prove it; no actual jalapenos in there!) I admit that one was clever. Second? A bit… out there. But its thanks to this guy that we have to have this as a strict rule in our workplace AND have twice as many health checks (even after some odd years). This guy was angry overall (probably a bad morning or something) and then dealt with some impatient customers that day. What did this guy do? Well he took the biggest zit on his face, popped it right over the soup and stirred the zit juice in the soup. Soup was tested and whatever was in that guy’s face could’ve made a lot of people seriously ill. If the guy’s partner didn’t catch him, that soup would’ve been served to a lot of people on the busiest day of the week.
6. Always speak clearly around the chef
I once worked as a dishwasher in college at a small bar/restaurant in Richmond Virginia. The chef of the tiny kitchen overheard a customer talking to his friend at the bar next to the kitchen door. He thought he heard the customer say the food there was absolute s–t.. He then went on to order the scallops from the bartender. The chef was so pissed! He started to saut the scallops, then grabbed them from the pan, and went to the bathroom. He then came back, finished off the scallops and served them to the rude customer. I heard the sous chef laughing hysterically and asked what was up. The sous chef said the chef just did something insane! I asked, what? He said the chef overheard this asshole disparage his food, so when he ordered the scallops, he went to the bathroom and ran each scallop around the inside edge of the toilet bowl! Then he finished the scallops off and served them! I was disgusted, but it was funny at the time… Apparently the customer finished off the scallops and complimented the chef. He said, these are the best scallops I ever had! Just like I was telling my friend here! Everything I heard about the food here was right! Apparently the chef misheard him, and he was actually telling his friend how good the food was. Never ate there again!”
7. Everything is relative.
In college I worked in a sub shop. A guy comes in and orders a roast beef sub with ‘everything.’ Ok, people did that all the time, they seemed to have some normative idea of what ‘everything’ means which no one can figure out because it depends on where they’re from for starters, ‘everything’ in NYC is a lot different than ‘everything’ in Savannah, GA. So as usual I politely asked what he meant by everything and recited the usual mustard? mayo? ketchup? oil and vinegar? etc. And he interrupted me EVERYTHING! I SAID EVERYTHING! Shouting rudely over and over. So I went back and did just that and put EVERYTHING on it that was in the usual list, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, relish, mustard, mayo, etc. And a scoop of blueberry ice cream. Wrapped it and sent him on his way. He came back about 15 minutes later (oh boy here we go! He apologized profusely, ‘I was being a real jerk wasn’t I?’ I said yeah more or less. And I made him another sub no charge with his now more reasonable condiment requests.
8. An insider’s take.
For a period of time, I worked in the pizza industry. I worked for the big 3 pizza restaurants: Pizza Hut, Domino’s Pizza, and Papa John’s. I must have worked for a dozen smaller chains also. I did everything imaginable in the pizza business including management and owning my own restaurant. Having said this, I’ve seen everything that could be done to a rude person’s food not just from the cook but from the wait staff and delivery drivers. Let’s talk about drivers since they are high-profile and out on the street, so they are the most visible. First off, you have to realize that a driver never forgets; they never forget a rude customer and especially will never forget someone who doesn’t tip. Some of the tamer things a driver does to a rude customer is if the driver is on a multi-customer delivery their pizza goes last. Not just that, but the box will be taken out of the heat-bag so it will be cold by the time the driver delivers it (and the soda will be warm). They will also make all the toppings stick to the top of the box by pressing the top of the box against the pizza. This all seems tame, but they have done harsher things to the pizza such as add vinegar to the pizza, add anchovy juice to the pizza, add crushed peppers or salt to the pizza, and anything it takes to disrupted the customer’s meal. Inside the restaurant is worse. Usually a cook will skimp on the toppings and add jalapeno juice to the sauce base. If the customer wanted peppers the cook would overload the pizza with peppers. But the worst that I’ve personally seen was pretty bad. The waitress told the cook that a certain customer was rude and if he could do something to the pizza. This was Pizza Hut and the pizza was a large pan. The cook put the pizza on the floor (while in the pan) and stepped on it a few times, not before stepping outside to get his shoes dirtier for the revenge. Then made the pizza as usual. As far as the wait staff goes, they will give you the worse service and at times completely ignore the customer. They already know they’re not going to get a tip so it’s no loss to them. Just to add about how bad restaurants can be. Because health insurance isn’t offered at most restaurants and the ones who do offer it, offers it at such a high price that minimum-wage workers can’t afford it when a worker is sick, they usually come in and work anyway. The reason being is that when an employee calls in sick they are told to bring a doctors note or don’t bother coming back to work. I’ve seen employees with strep-throat, the flu, a hacking cough, running noses and once even chicken pox come to work and make food. So, even if you aren’t a rude customer, you can still be subjected to bad food.
9. If you’re a terrible person, cook at home.
I was a cook at a small diner, and one day one of the other cooks came in with a completely messed up face. Black eye, fat lip, cuts, scrapes, the works. He said some guy had beat the hell out of him at the bar. He was an alright guy sober, but once he got into the liquor, he turned into a different person. Honestly he probably instigated whatever happened as I had seen him do it in person on multiple occasions. We were all used to seeing him come in with the battle scars of the night before, but this particular occasion was pretty bad. Fast forward a week. He and I are both cooking one night, and I hear him hiss, ‘There’s the a–hole who beat me up.’ I look out the kitchen window, and who do I see but the gentleman who had been stalking my girlfriend. It stopped not long after we started dating, but he had called her constantly, aggressively followed her when he saw her out in the local bars (pinned her up against the wall one time), and made her extremely uncomfortable. So, unbeknownst to this fellow, he was about to have his meal prepared by one person he had severely beaten and another whose girlfriend (now wife) he had stalked for several weeks. He got the executive treatment. We had no other orders for the next 20 minutes which allowed a level of creativity that I dare say has not been exceeded by an angry cook since. Normal Western Omelet: Peppers, tomatoes, onions, and sausage with shredded cheddar cheese, covered with chili and cheese and served with home fries. Executive Treatment Western Omelet: Take peppers, tomatoes, onions, and sausage and throw them in the trash. Take three eggs for omelet and add one liquid ounce lung butter from a heavy smoker (side note: it is very disconcerting to watch someone spit a black loogie when they haven’t eaten anything black, they just smoke that much). Dig under stove and find home fries that fell on the floor 12 hours ago, and throw them in the trash. Stir peppers, tomatoes, onions, and sausage about in garbage, then remove and place in microwave. Stir 12 hour old floor home fries about in garbage, then remove and place briefly in microwave. Go outside and collect one liquid ounce stuff leaking from the dumpster, then scrape crow s–t off parking lot and mix with one liquid ounce dumpster juice. Return inside, place ingredients inside lung butter infused omelets (peppers, tomatoes, onion, and sausage from the trash, dumpster juice, crow s–t, and spit from a normal person for good measure) then take the whole thing and throw it in the bathroom trash can. Stir it about, laugh in anticipation. Take horrific partially mangled omelet out of trash can, pick out the bits of tissue paper that might have gotten stuck to it, add one light blue snot rocket (my coworker liked Xanax), then cover the whole thing with chili and some cheese we found on the floor which covered every single thing we did and made it look as pretty as its picture in the menu. Laugh as waitress witnessing the culinary process almost becomes physically ill. Place 12 hour old home fries from the floor with trashcan spice alongside omelet, set in window for server to give to stalker a–hole. Bon appetite. We stood in the kitchen and watched as he ate every single bite. He practically licked the plate clean. Moral of the story? If you’re a terrible person, you should probably cook for yourself at home.
10. Pickle surprise!
I was working at Carl’s Jr. as a teenager 20+ years ago…
A customer complained at us that he never gets extra pickles when he asks for them. He went on and on about his pickle woes while in front of the menu board in our drive-through. His rant went on for what seemed like forever. This held up other customers and our order taker. He very rudely insisted that we put a lot of pickles on his burger. Not extra not double but a lot.
In the kitchen we can hear everything said on the drive-through via our own speaker (this is true in most fast food places). So me and the other cook that night Eric looked at each other and the perfectly made Carl’s Jr. Famous star with mayo, lettuce, tomato, onion, extra pickle pickle, meat, special sauce and mayo. Traditionally and according to the exact rules, a famous star gets two-three pickle slices and extra is five. I like pickles myself and when someone asks for extra I normally put like six+. But this guy was just rude and really abusive. I reached into the pickle container and grabbed a handful of pickles and Eric lifted the meat and bun.
I then promptly added about 3 times more pickles than meat to the customer’s burger. We wrapped it and told Drive-through to bag the order. We said, “One pickle-burger with a side of meat is up”.
11. Don’t read if you want to eat fast food tonight.
I worked for a VERY popular burger chain where billions have been served. I’m from a small town in Canada and the majority of the 60+ staff were between the ages of 15 and 18. Needless to say, this place was a cesspool of teen relationships, angst, hormones and yes…many times anger.
Complaining about your food to a teenager is the wrong thing to do. This restaurant has strict rules and probably has he most disciplined training system in the industry. To say that their standards are high, would be too low. But, you can never control the human element. I was there for over 3 years and I’ve seen (and tried to even stop to no avail) the following (stop reading if you have a weak stomach):
-Daddy long legs spider seared into a burger.
-Different types of body hair being purposely added.
-Sneezing than wiping the nose with a bun (then calling it a Bacon Double Sneeze Burger).
-Many different forms of spit, hork, phlegm being combined with the “corrected” order.Stuff recovered from being dropped on the floor.
-Wiping butt and/or pitts with food items
Worse – Part I – a new employee was asked to clean a mess in the bathroom. Someone had defecated next to the toilet and left a mess on the ground (Friday night!). When I approached the employee hours later, I asked how he cleaned up the mess – answer: The nugget scoop.
Worst – Part II – Working the all night shift, the other person and I decided to help each other do each other’s jobs so that we could finish quicker. I was responsible for cleaning everything behind the counter (grills, vats, dishes and shake/soda machines) and he was responsible for cleaning the dining area, washrooms and parking lot. When cleaning the milkshake machine, my friend came to a realization. The buckets that we were using to capture and transfer all the milk that was left in the machine, were the same buckets that he would use to clean urinals. That process stopped that night, but how long was this practice going on? I drank shakes every once in a while too, so I was not a very happy camper with this new-found knowledge.
12. Steak a la boot.
I never did anything personally to a customer’s order, but I have seen it done both by chefs and waitstaff.
There’s not much you can do to stop it especially considering that is your job and you have to see the people everyday especially if they are more senior to you.
The first time it ever happened, someone sent their steak back for not being cooked enough and the chef threw it on the ground, stomped on it with his boot you know really mushing it into the ground. Then he picked it up with the tongs and cooked it for one or two more minutes and sent it back, and customer ate it unawares.