Things are not always as they seem.
Here, people share things that seem really great from the outside, but aren’t when you’re the one experiencing them.
1. Owning your own business.
Owning your own business.
The hours, pressure, and responsibilities can go far beyond the worst job you ever had. Of course it’s great when things are going well, but you can very easily go extended periods where you are not only not making money, but you’re putting money back into it. Your mind never really leaves it either. It’s truly a 24/7 commitment.
2. Not being able to work is not what it seems.
I’m 23 and disabled, I don’t work and people constantly say “must be nice” about me being home every day or me sleeping all day…….. I’m disabled I’m not doing this for fun, it’s not nice at all, I would love to be normal and healthy and able to stay awake and work every day.
3. Being single.
Seems like a lot of people in relationships think being single must be nice. I’m sure it is for some people, but never the less, it seems like there logic comes from:
“Oh man, I love it when my boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever goes out for the night or away on business, house to myself! You have that freedom all the time, lucky!”
But really, while a taste of that freedom is nice, being alone all the time starts to become draining.
4. Bigger is not always better.
Large breasts (story continued on the next page…).
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Because instead of being able to walk into the store and buy bras that are on sale or just normally cheap, you have to order them online, they cost usually $50+ for one(plus shipping), and you have to hope it fits, and if it doesn’t you have to go through the hassle of sending it back and getting a different size and hoping that one fits right. And even if it fits, it isn’t necessarily comfortable, which you don’t discover until after you’ve worn it for 8+ hours at work and have had a piece of underwire stabbing into you all day. And when you have large breasts you really need a bra for every day of the week because of boob sweat, but you can’t afford that many, so you douse them with air freshener and re-wear them, which is gross, but necessary.
5. Getting ahead is not always a good thing.
Graduating young. Sounds cool, but it really means you have no time to save for college and you have no friends because you’re academically ahead of people your age and emotionally less developed than your academic peers.
6. Time at home.
Spending a long time at home, alone, without any responsibilities. It does your head in.
7. No disipline.
Especially relevant to teenagers: being raised with little-to-no discipline or expectations (chores, etc) is not nearly as sweet a deal as it might seem.
In high school psychology class, I remember bringing up that not being expected to do chores was a problem in childhood development, and was immediately shouted down by my classmates.
They didn’t understand that I was raised with no discipline, no expectations, no chores, nothing. My mom did everything for me and actively discouraged me from doing things by myself. I reached age eighteen with next-to-no life skills, a sense of learned helplessness, a damaged ability for self-discipline, and negative self-esteem (a great way to convince a kid that they’re worthless/useless is to constantly insist that they’re incapable of doing anything by themselves). I didn’t move out until I was 24 and remained dependent on my mom until I was nearly 30. I’m now 34, and every single day I still experience the effects of my upbringing (chronic disorganization, low self-esteem, mental health problems from the physical and emotional abuse I also suffered, a lot more more).
It’s horrifying to me how common “helicopter” parenting has become and how it’s seen as a valid (even superior) form of parenting in some circles. Nobody should have to grow up like I did.
8. Buying drinks for you at the bar.
Having men buy you drinks at a bar. And please listen with an open mind.
There is absolute truth to the statement “there’s no such thing as a free drink.” The best description I’ve heard is something I read here months ago: A drink at a bar is an unwitting game of social Russian roulette of which we don’t know the outcome but are responsible for the consequences (story continued on the next page…).
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If we politely decline: We’re cold, and in some situations, this can result in someone intentionally making the rest of the night more difficult. Worst case scenario, the guy feels entitled to follow us and let us know how he feels about it.
If we accept but do not allow physical contact: We’re a cold, manipulative jerk. And with the purchase of the drink, someone feels they have purchased the rights to our boundaries, whether they be physical or emotional. This can also result in the situation described above.
If we accept and do go home with them: We’re a promiscuous jerk, and if the night ends with us being forced into something, the outcome was our fault anyway and “what did we think was going to happen?”
Don’t get me wrong. There are gentleman out there who will purchase a drink, smile and respect what a woman decides to do with it. Unfortunately, though, women can never be 100% certain if you’re in the group of men who won’t be the gentleman.
9. Your time is not your own.
Traveling for work. The feeling that your time throughout the week after hours was never really just yours, like you’re always expected to do nothing but work.
10. All jokes, all the time.
Being a humorous person.
Everyone assumes it’s a great thing and you are loved by everyone. But, instead everybody expects jokes and witty comments from you even when you are not in that mood. They never take your opinion seriously.
11. You don’t get to choose your family.
Having a big family. Sometimes I could kill for some alone time.
12. Game developer.
Game Development, every average joe I’ve ever talked about my job says something to the extent of,
“Oh there’s a lot of money in that isn’t there?” (story continued on the next page…)
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No, no there isn’t, unless you’re a god at your job or a CEO.
13. There aren’t as many perks as you think.
Having a job people think is desirable when they actually have no idea.
example: I was a flight attendant for United for three years.
There are so many misconceptions people have about the life of a flight attendant. To name a few: It’s not glamorous. It does not pay well. You do not get free tickets to give out to friends or family. You typically don’t have time to do anything besides catch up on sleep, let alone go sightseeing on overnights.
14. Lottery winner.
Winning the lottery. It’s a social nightmare.
15. Dog groomer.
Being a dog groomer. “Must be nice to play with puppies all day!” Sometimes sure, but most of the time I need your dog in and out so quickly I don’t really stop because taking extra time to “play” means I’m making less money and I basically make enough to pay the bills. Then there’s the dogs who hate it, who scream bite piss and poop all over everything including me. I have scars from scratches and dogs have broken skin biting me. Then there’s the ancient dogs who are lovely but can’t stand so I’m holding up 100lbs of dog to finish the haircut. And squirmy puppies, constantly terrified of cutting a dog, and seeing the blatant neglect people can be capable of.
Most days, love my job. But I assure you I work my butt off for my pay, it’s not playing with puppies all day.
16. Not being able to work.
“Living off disability huh? Must be nice.”
I have a spine/shoulder injury from when I was in the military, it wasn’t treated properly before because my unit thought I was lying: I wake up in physical pain, I spend my entire day in physical pain, and at the end of the day I sometimes spend several hours trying to get some sleep when my entire upper body would rather twitch or spasm than let me get comfortable and just sleep.
Yeah dude, spending every single waking moment in varying degrees of pain and financially just scraping by and eating mostly rice… totally livin’ the life.
17. So much free time.
Endless holidays/unemployment. It looks amazing, but if you don’t be careful about how you spend the time, it feels wasted, and you end up regretting how you used the days. I think a lot of people probably fall into that trap, and end up being lazy, but too lazy to do what they’d really like to do.
Instead of a cycle holiday through the countryside where they live, it becomes a slothful life on a couch with a newspaper.
Instead of exploring new places, it’s traipsing down familiar alleys and lanes to the same hole in the wall bar, and feeling as if life isn’t quite giving you enough.
Having the time to be lazy has the potential to be good, but a lot of people end up being too lazy to do anything and ruin it.
18. Small fry.
Being small. Like clothes don’t fit correctly a lot of times and pants are ALWAYS too long. And people don’t always take you seriously.
19. Don’t need any rest.
Bed rest during pregnancy. If you’re on bed rest, it means something is WRONG. You’re not lying in bed relaxing, you’re freaking out.
20. Seasons are nice.
Living in Florida. It’s a fun vacation place for for sure, but like with any place it is entirely different living there. I moved to the Midwest in 2009, but here were my observations (story continued on the next page…).
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Endless summer gets monotonous pretty fast. You miss the change in the seasons and holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving never feel quite right. It gets very hot, and the threat for hurricanes is always there.
Outside the Miami, Tampa, and Orlando areas the cities in Florida are not real exciting places to live. “But you have the beach”… yeah the beach gets old.
Florida isn’t all bad, but I wouldn’t live there again.
21. Peter Pan’ing it.
Being a grown up. When I was a kid all I wanted was to be a grownup. Now I’d do anything to go back ! So many responsibilities.
22. You can only eat so much pizza.
When I worked at a pizzaria in the winter back in high school. “Must be nice to be inside with those ovens keeping you warm!”
No. My nose won’t stop bleeding and my hands are cracked because of how dry my skin is. I’d KILL to be outside with some humidity.
23. Being artistic.
Being artistically inclined. I can paint really well… but so can thousands of other people. Being a famous gallery artist is like pursuing music or acting…a lot of it is luck and being in the right place at the right time.
Also anytime someone new sees my art and it’s beyond what they expect they just assume I have 48 hours minimum and expensive paints laying around to paint their kids, pets, or whatever it is they want. Almost all of them never even think they need to pay me for it, then they get offended when I say no. Like I just magically crap out paintings.
Paint, a surface to paint on, gesso..that stuff is expensive. Not to mention that creating a finished painting is hard work. People seem to think it’s easy for some reason.
24. Being thin.
Being naturally skinny.
I’ll always be appreciative that I don’t have to worry about becoming unhealthily overweight (for the time being), but I’m super tired of hearing “Are you anorexic?” “You need some meat on your bones” “I’m so jealous of you.” Don’t comment on my body type, or anyone else’s for that matter. I know I am skinny and I wish I could gain some weight without having to inhale a bunch of protein and lift weights.
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