Children on Reddit were asked: “Has anyone found out anything about their parents they’d rather not know?” These are some of the best answers.
1. Finding out your entire childhood has been a lie
I grew up being told by my family that my mother abandoned me. I later found out that my father kidnapped me from her. We were on the run the entire time I was in elementary school. I never had a stable set of friends at that time because I went to a different school every year. I slept in bunk beds with my dad growing up in a one bedroom apartment. I was 18 when my mother’s private investigator found me and I learned the real story.
2. Some things are meant to stay family secrets
I caught my mother with her own older brother. I have never shared this with anyone in my life. Stirred up all those memories that haunted me for 3 years when I was a teen, till the time I moved away to college.
3. This is a tough one
Even though my parents are separated and seemingly hate each other, my dad is still clearly in love with my mom, and no matter how much my dad pushes her away, my mom is subconsciously open to the idea of getting him back. My dad however, has a pride issue, and is incapable of admitting his love for my mom, incapable of acting on it, or sacrificing for it.
I regret learning this and I don’t. The reason I regret learning this is because now I look at the two of them differently. And I hate the fact that I see my dad for who he is. A guy who is completely miserable without my mom. He’s a functioning addict (weed and alcohol), and it’s clear as day that his only cure is getting my mom back. At the same time I don’t regret learning this, because it’s what got me back together with my girlfriend. I realized that I too have an ego/pride issue, and that I was still in love with my girlfriend, but incapable of admitting it, acting on it, or sacrificing for it. Once I realized how [odd] I was being, it all hit me. I needed Lyndsey back. And now all is right in the world.
My parents have always been separated while I was growing up, and the idea of them being together sounds grotesque to me. But they’ve both been single for the longest time, and really they only need to put their pride aside and be happy together.
4. The no-friend zone
I didn’t know people wanted to be friends with me.
My mom didn’t like the people in my neighborhood for some reason, so when they would call me to go hang out she would tell them that I’m busy or that I flat out didn’t want to hang out with them.
Throughout middle school and high school, I would cry myself to sleep because no one would talk to me at school and I wouldn’t get invited to parties and events.
I found out two years ago that it was because she turned them away.
5. When you find out that they’re actually pretty cool
I found out my parents used to be in the Moonshine business in West Virginia. Later I found out that they were also growing mushrooms.
6. This is just so sad
I found out fairly recently that my dad cannot read. Sounds tame enough but we had a bunch of books on a book case near the TV for a good 7 years of my life. I always remembered my dad going across, picking one up, dusting it off and sitting down and reading it just before we went to bed.
During a conversation the other week, my dad revealed that he couldn’t read very well, and I asked about the books. Well it turns out those “books” were actually my dads genius way of hiding his porn. He had cut out the pages of the book, hidden VHS tapes in one side, and porn mags in the other.
7. Kids should never be told things like this
My mom recently told me she never wanted kids, and finally said “eh, oh well” and succumbed to my dad’s pleading once they bought the right house. Joke’s on her though; she turned out to be a fantastic mother.
8. When you wish you could move to a different city
My dad works as a gynecologist at a large hospital. He deals with a lot of [vulvas]. The strange part is I know a lot of friends who go to him. :/
9. Things you’d rather not see in life
Found out my mom was a nude model for art classes in college. I really hope I never run into one of those paintings.
10. That’s one heck of a conception story
I was conceived after a xmas party. Both my parents were hammered, got home, went wild on each other. My dad passes out and my mom goes to put the spermicide in afterward ‘just in case’. She passes out. In the morning she wakes up and realizes she missed and put the spermicide in her [butt]. Yes, true story.
11. NOPE NOPE NOPE
I found my dad and stepmom’s sex tape :/
12. This parenting idea really backfired
My mom told me she had a lesbian affair with one of her cousins; she told me this in order to prevent me from being a lesbian… she failed.
13. This sounds like Arrested Development, it can’t be real
My mom once told me over lunch when I was 26: “Your brother was always my favorite; your sister was always your dad’s favorite; I always felt bad for you, because you were no one’s favorite.” I mean, I always knew; but it was weird to get external confirmation like that.
14. Definitely something I’d never want to know about my mom
I found out my mom writes Harry Potter fanfics about Harry and Malfoy discovering their burgeoning sexuality with each other. Enjoy that.
15. This puts a whole new meaning to the term ‘family business’
My mum is in the performance arts industry and as her son, I have been heavily involved with it as well. More the tech scene. Anyway I digress, my mum had a solo show. The solo show involved the following:
A table full of food and an audience full of eggs. She would be in a see-through white [veil] and smash meat and eggs over her body to the tune of some 1800s classical gangsta music. She would climb on a ladder, do handstands, at which point the audience would throw eggs at her. I was asked to operate the spotlight for the show. It’s all good, I have seen it so many times now!
16. Finding out that this is your whole life would be devastating
I found out my mother had an abortion before me. Then she got pregnant with me, but didn’t abort just so she could prove to my father that she wasn’t cheating on him.
First words out of her mouth to my father after it was determined my blood type is the same as my father’s: “What now?” I was born with the purpose of winning an argument.
17. Yeah, definitely up there in terms of things I really didn’t need to know
My dad gave my mom herpes before they were married. It just feels a bit weird to me to think about my parents having venereal diseases, and none of my siblings know.
18. This one just makes me uncomfortable
Okay so, I’ve been crossdressing for my whole life. I never really told anybody and I definitely never got caught doing it. It’s a private thing and I enjoy it and it makes me feel good. Anyway, so about two years ago I’m on my parents computer looking for some game or file I downloaded years back, and I accidentally stumble upon my Dad’s huge collection of crossdresser and trans porn. I mean like, huge collection. Since then I’ve felt really strange about the whole thing.
19. Kids should never be caught in the middle of a divorce
When it started to get worse and worse between my parents, each side was telling me some dirty secrets against other. That’s how I know that my mom lost her front tooth after being too drunk and falling on ground; that my dad was selling drugs (at that particular moment he was addicted to amphetamine) and worked as a driver for [sex workers]. He also was stealing from shops and mugging… It didn’t help me to gain respect for them and grow up as happy person.
20. The things we wish we had said
After my mom died, I found out she was doing a lot of drugs and using the money that was supposed to help pay my college tuition to buy them (instead I took out loans every semester/applied for grants). It was frustrating because I wanted to be able to yell at her and be angry but I felt guilty both because she was dead and because she was otherwise a very good parent.
21. One of the hardest parts of growing up is realizing the world isn’t such a pretty, easy place anymore
You know how people claim that western nations are stealing the oil in poor African nations… Well my dad is one of the guys stealing the oil. Over the years he has setup drilling deals with pretty much every despot dictatorship with oil in the world. Still I love him because he’s my dad but it’s weird knowing so many people demonize him. Growing up I always thought my dad was like James Bond because he got to go to all these exotic places only to grow up and realize he is more like a James Bond villain than anything.
22. Never tell a kid this! Ever!
My dad didn’t want anymore kids because of me. Apparently I was such a terror, that my dad didn’t want anymore children. But, joke’s on him. My little sister is the favorite. SO YEAH…I guess…
23. That’s one heck of an introduction
My mom and dad were introduced to each other by their drug dealer. When my dad asked him “What’s she like?”, the dealer told him “She buys weed by the pound.” He told me this, while crying, a few days after she died. I was 12.
24. Ignorance is bliss
Recently found out my parents had been cheating on each other for the last few years of their marriage… I look a whole lot more like the neighbour than my dad.