Like many things in life, love doesnt last forever. Sometimes the feeling is mutual, but sometimes the breakdown of love between two people can have devastating effects. Life is hard, and so is love.
1. Talking shouldn’t be so hard.
She slowly started talking to me less and less. I had to make a lot of effort just to communicate with her, and when we were out with a group she acted almost as if I weren’t there. I don’t know if there was a point of sudden realization, but I slowly had to accept that she didn’t want me anymore. It hurt.
2. That’s not love, anymore.
When I was relying on memories of what we used to be like to justify staying with him.
3. Yup, that’ll do it for me.
He said something snide and passive aggressive….can’t remember exactly what but something to the effect of “you don’t even want to be with me” and I simply couldn’t indulge it. I can’t stand passive aggressive stuff. I told him he might be right and here’s why. Then I listed all of the reasons why I was having doubts about him and we broke up the following week.
4. Good riddance to someone who can’t be understanding.
When she dumped me. Over finals, for not spending enough time with her. Finals only last a week and a half. And I’m in law school.
5. Compromise is just part of the game.
When I realized she would never make a sacrifice to make me happy. However small.
6. I bet they didn’t expect that…
Funny story in retrospect. My first serious relationship lasted roughly six years, and it came to an end when we were having a tiff and in her typical passive aggressive manor, she said, “You don’t love me anymore.”
But then something strange happened…
Now, she fully intended on this resulting in me saying something along the lines of, “No, of course I love you,” but instead it hit me like a sack of bricks and I just said, “No, no I don’t love you.”
7. Forever a student of life.
When I realized I couldn’t have interesting, stimulating conversations with him. He just didn’t care about learning. I came to see that we’d never have challenging conversations, only me trying to explain why I even cared about things. We didn’t last very long after that realization. I’m now happily married to a guy who loves to learn and discuss. It’s awesome.
8. Wow… that really hurts…
When, after 2 and a half years, he told me “You will never be the girl I will marry, I just couldn’t ever have kids with you”.
I had given him everything, he had cheated on me multiple times, would tell me he loved me then take it back multiple times. He was emotionally abusive and made me feel like I was worthless every single day. I was never good enough. He had said things to that effect before, that I just wasn’t the kind of girl he’d pictured himself with. But for some reason that day, the day he said those words I just got it.
He didn’t love me, he never really had.
9. That’s definitely a warning sign.
When I stopped wanting to be around them.
Once a night by myself constantly became more enjoyable than a night with her, then I knew the love wasn’t there anymore.
10. That’s the way to do it.
I had a really cool break-up a while ago. Me and my ex (who I had been seeing for three years or so) had just gone a few weeks without seeing each other, I was out of town.
I got back and we decided to go to the hardware store for something or other. We shopped together, got in the car, looked at each other for a long time and he said “This is over, isn’t it?” and I said “Yes, I think so.” And that was the end of it.
It was really weird, but we both just knew it at the same moment. I guess we just had no feelings left for each other at that point.
11. Are you kidding me??!!
When I got ditched in WoW. Not for WoW. In WoW.
12. Okay.. sounds like it should have ended much sooner…
She punched me (not uncommon with her) as hard as she could and hit me right in the ear. Not a fight club reference. Ruptured my eardrum and I go completely deaf instantly in my right ear.
She didn’t even care. She just claimed that I should be a man and that getting punched by a 100 pound girl can’t hurt that bad.
This happens the day after seeing a couples counselor, and her promising that she wouldn’t become violent anymore. She literally signed a document for the therapist claiming this.
This was the moment I realized she was never going to change. She would be abusive forever and I couldn’t live my life in fear of being abused by someone who claims to love me.
Welp, that was 3 years well spent. :p
13. To be honest that is straight up unforgivable and I am so happy that was the end of things.
When my dog died and she said “Finally”.
14. Awwww that’s so warm and fuzzy.
When I really sat down and thought about how our communication problems never improved, and that our future paths wouldn’t work out in the long run, and that as much as we had a lot of fun together I wasn’t really happy in the relationship – basically, realized that we had no romantic future together.
But also, realizing that I cared about him so much that I dreaded breaking up with him.
I wasn’t in love with him, but I did love him dearly. Still do, we went back to being close friends.
I’m happily in a relationship with someone else now, but I honestly can’t imagine my life without my friend/ex.
15. That hesitation will get you every time.
The hesitation before she returned an “I love you.”
The way she would kiss me, almost as if it was just mechanical.
She lost that spark in her eye when she looked at me.
I just knew, man. Maybe her sleeping with her ex behind my back was the biggest indicator.
16. They are straight up amazing. No doubt.
When the after-sex cuddles stopped.
After-sex cuddles are amazing 🙁
17. Oh so you’re NOT supposed to do that??!!
When she brought her best friend to our anniversary dinner.
18. If only we could realize these things earlier!
Was with my ex for over five years. Spent the last two years financially supporting him. Did everything (and more) that I could to make him happy.
He knew I wanted to get married and have a family, but kept dragging his feet.
He never really contributed anything to the relationship.. Finally realized he needed to learn to make himself happy and that I was done babysitting a 28 year old man. I’ve been happier since then than I ever had been.
19. Oh no no no no no no :(:(:(
When i found my wife’s texts between her and her boyfriend.
I still love her 🙁
20. These things tend to happen… yeah.
When her quirks started becoming grating and annoying.
21. This person does for sure…
My SO of 6 years text me one day “I don’t think we should be together anymore” out of NOWHERE.
We were literally talking about hanging out 3 hours earlier, as we usually spent every day together. Me, being the stubborn idiot that I am, responded only with “ok” because I didn’t want to seem like a coward.
Three Years later, we still have not talked, and I still have no idea what happened, and I think about it every day. People suck.
22. That’s not the behaviour of someone who cares…
I realized it when I called my then long distance girlfriend to tell her that one of my best and oldest friends had committed suicide…
While she was on vacation in Thailand and all she said was, “I’m sorry. That sucks. Me and the guys are about to go to beach, so can I let you go?” That was rough. We broke up over Skype a week later.
23. They should be the person you go to, not run away from.
Late one night I was super depressed and crying. I made sure to be quiet, I didn’t want my sleeping girlfriend (at the time) to hear me because I knew she wouldn’t make things any better. It was a pretty sad thing to realize at the time.
I still stuck in there a few more months until she dumped me, stating I never opened up to her emotionally. The thing is, early on in the relationship I opened up to her all the time but over time she began to ignore what I was saying or do something to make it worse so I stopped. Also noteworthy, it is not as if I was talking about my feelings all the time and being whiney. This was stuff like having a bad day once in a while or my grandfather’s funeral.
Anyway, turns out she was sleeping with the bus boy at her job anyway. So her evaluation of things wasn’t that credible. Thank god she still wanted to be friends though. haha
24. Well…. that’s just devastating…
When she hit me and it has gone down hill from there. Had a heart attack a few years ago. I was in emergency and crying because I was afraid I was never going to see my son grow up.
My wife leaned down and whispered to me “stop crying you are embarrassing yourself and me.”
I lost 22% of my heart muscle that day and lost all of my heart for her. Still together for the kid’s sake.
25. Those things should be done together.
He made his plans for the future without me in it, without even considering my wants or dreams. He just assumed that I would be there to take care of him like I had been. I thought about it one day and realized that he had been planning his future like this for three years, and I just went along with it. It would never have worked.
He let me stay in his apartment when I lost my job and couldn’t afford mine, that was the nicest thing he did for me in the last six months of our relationship. When his “friends” were jerks to me he never said anything to defend me. I paid for all his food, all our dates, etc. He never wanted to spend time with me, didn’t make any effort to talk except when I asked him what he wanted to eat or if he wanted me to do his laundry. When I moved out after three months, I was the most miserable I had ever been in my entire life, and even though I tried to tell him this he would just cry and apologize. I wasn’t strong enough to just walk away. I had to give him chance after chance.
I realize now that I was just an object to him, some device that dispenses money and food like a Stepford Wife. We’re still “friends.” Sometimes we IM, and he doesn’t even remember details about my life like where I work. It hurts my feelings a little but reaffirms my decision.
If you ever read this, I wish I had the courage to tell you how hurt I am. I tried for years to show you I loved you, was ready to dedicate my entire life to you, gave you everything, but you couldn’t put in the effort to do even half of that to me. I just feel pity that you are so immature and regret that I wasted my college years with you.
26. Sounds like the best days are behind.
When I was more in love with the memories than the person standing in front of me.
27. No, you did an AMAZING job!
When she left our 3- year old daughter with me for what was supposed to be a weekend visit, and TOTALLY DISAPPEARED!! Leaving me to raise that little girl on my own. That little girl is now a 20-something woman with a college degree, a good job, a husband and a dog, so I guess I didn’t do a bad job!
28. I guess it’s kind of funny.
When I got into a car accident, called her and told her, and it didn’t seem to phase her one bit. All she said was “Oh. I’m sorry”. Nothing about if I was ok (I was), if my car was badly damaged (I totalled it), nothing.
From there, she texted me less, showed less affection towards me, and eventually just stopped contacting me all together without an “official” breakup. We just went our separate ways without saying goodbye.
On the lighter side of things, my friend still jokes around with me and asks how my “other” girlfriend is doing, since we “technically” are still together…he’s a moron, but funny to think about it that way.
29. That’s a nice moment right there.
I was with my ex for 5 years and he was the first guy I really loved.
When I went off to college, he became emotionally and verbally abusive. Every time I saw him, I felt like crap. I was constantly turning to my friends for comfort- he became the one who made me cry instead of the one who made me feel better.
One day when he was out of town, I was sitting on a bus and realized I was smiling like an idiot. I looked down at my phone and noticed that we hadn’t talked in a week… I felt so happy without him. That was the moment I finally realized that I didn’t love him anymore.
30. You made the right choice.
I told my ex girlfriend I no longer loved her the day after she hit me. She had a tendency to be physically abusive when we would fight, I told her if she did it again I’d leave her. She did it that very night. She didn’t believe me, for good reason as I did still love her, but I could never go back on what I had said. So now I’m lonely, but it could be worse.
31. That’s a great way to think about it!
Don’t think about being “in love” as a state of being. Treat love as a an action and a choice. I love my wife every day, even if I don’t particularly like her that day, that week or sometimes even that month.
I love her by spending time with her.
I love her by doing the dishes every night, making my son’s lunch for school and taking out the trash without being asked. I love her by telling her she’s beautiful even when she feels like she isn’t.
I love her by choosing to put aside what I want to do for something she wants to do when appropriate and by actually listening to her when she talks about how hard her day was, even if I feel like my day was harder.
Love is not a feeling. Infatuation and lust are feelings. If you approach relationships from a perspective of your needs > their needs, you will find yourself very bitter and lonely over and over. When you find someone that is worth putting ahead of your feelings (I don’t mean to imply that everyone is), choose to love them, even when it’s hard.
32. Time to break free
I’m mid breakup with my boyfriend currently. I realized something had to change when I would go out of my way to avoid talking to him, or being around him. It’s not that I feel any sort of strong emotion against him. The passion died, the desire to be around him shrank to nothing. I feel trapped and lonely in my own relationship.
33. Young Love
When I left for college. I went out of state and she stayed in state. I realized I had a lot of options, and that she had just as many (probably more since she was quite good looking). I realized we didn’t have as much in common as I thought, and that it was best we go our separate ways.
34. Bro-hugs all around
I had a girlfriend who I dated for about 2 and a half years, a year and a half of which I lived with her. The way she used to look at me and smile at me, there was no doubt in my mind that she was deeply in love with me and that nothing could come between us. Slowly, gradually, things began to deteriorate. One week, she had gone on a trip and we hadn’t seen each other the entire time. The day she came home, I jumped off the couch because I was so excited to see her. She barely gave me a hug and a kiss and didn’t even look me in the eye. That’s when I knew for sure.
The reason why I basically don’t trust anybody anymore is because of the way she used to look at me when we were in love. If you’ve ever had anybody look at you that way, in a way that makes you so absolutely and fully certain that you are the only man in this woman’s world, and then she someday switches to giving you a cold reaction like when she came back from that trip, you’d see there is absolutely nothing a person could say or do to make you really believe them anymore.
35. Well, at least everything worked out. Sort of…
She came home from a work trip. I met her at the airport and kissed her and she laughed uncomfortably and half-turned away. I planted the kiss half on her lips and half on her cheek. It’s weird to feel awkward with someone you’ve known intimately for so many years.
This kicked off several weeks of weirdness, deception on her part, snooping on my part, and the final realization that she cheated on me during her work trip and it was still continuing. Worst feeling in the world.
Ended up being the best thing for me. The relationship sucked and once I got over the initial rejection, I soon realized I was in for a much better future.