Dating can be scary, online dating can be terrifying. You never really know what you’re going to get and sometimes you get a grade A creeper.
Here, people share the creepiest person they met through online dating. Enjoy! And be sure to check out the sources at the bottom for even more.
1. The one that wouldn’t go away.
Messaged by a girl online. Let’s call her “Ashley.” One of those conversations thatimmediately took off and we were talking for at least 4 hours straight. Wedecide to go get dinner. She was even better in person. Beautiful, witty,laughed at my stupid jokes and the whole bit. We exchange goodbyes and that wasthe end of our evening.
We’re texting until about midnight when she says”You’re going to hate me. We should just be friends.” So I’m like okwhatever. She calls me the next day and apologizes so I give her a secondchance. At the end of this date, we start making out like we’re in middleschool and she stops us before we get too far and says she’s not ready for thatyet. Ok cool. I can respect that.
So I get home and she texts me saying that Iwas just going to use her had we had sex (we didn’t) and calling me a pig. Um….ok. Nextday I get a text from Ashley’s phone asking if I knew where she was and I wasthe last person to talk to her. Her “friend” went to her house, whereAshley had apparently left her phone and her car and the front door was wideopen. So I told this mystery person to call the cops. When she refused I saidthat I would and lo & behold, Ashley shows up.
“I had just gone for awalk. Didn’t know you cared about me so much lol.” Yeah ok I’m done withthis situation.
The next day I go to work. I usually leave my phone in my truckuntil lunch, so when I went out for lunch at noon, I had 115 new texts and 48missed calls. Yup that’s it. I’m done. So I block her number and that’s it.Wrong again. She knew where I worked and the rough time I got off work, whichis almost an hour and a half from where she lived. Tried following me home. Itook a roundabout way of getting home and ran a few red lights but managed tolose her. It’s been almost a year and I haven’t heard from her since.
2. Keep your hands to yours- uh oh…
Met a guy, chatted, he seemed relatively normal. We go for our first date in a pub. A well-lit pub. We’re having a couple drinks, talking and whatnot, I see his hands under the table, moving around. It cannot be. OH BUT IT IS. He was doing exactly what you think.
Apparently I was turning him on too much and he couldn’t help himself. Date ended pretty quickly after that. The followup is, when I got home he’d sent me an epicly long email about how terrible I was. Oh, and ended it with the phrase, “Don’t bother responding, because I will not read it.” Done and done!
3. Just a little bit different from the picture.
Met a girl who described herself as a 24-yearold woman who’s blonde. I arrived on the date, all happy, but realized that thegirl who sat was a 40-year old lady with two children and was just finding anexcuse to leave her house.
4. Makes for some pretty creepy in laws.
I signed up for okcupid because I’m busy with grad school and the nearestgay bar is an hour and a half away. Since I work most weekends I figuredonline dating would be my best option. I messaged a few girls, but nothing everpanned out into a date, so I decided to leave it be and just focus on schoolfor a bit.
Then some girl starts messaging me and she seems alright and she lives inthe same city as the aforementioned gay bar, so she’s not too far away. After afew messages I ask her on a date, she agrees. I wasn’t super interested, but Ifigured I didn’t have anything else to do that day, how bad could it be?
There’s a really cool mall in this city and a terribleone, we went to the terrible one. I meet her in the cafe of the book store, shelooked so different from her profile pic I didn’t believe it was her. She alsohad the personality of Lurch from the Adams Family. (Story continues…)
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But I think Lurch would have had the sense not to wear a pastafarian t-shirton a first date. Whatever: I’m here, I’m queer, and I haven’t eaten. I’ll stickthis one out.
I suggested that we should go for a bite to eat. She’s vegetarian, but it’scool; that’s something I’ve tried to do before and I still eat veggie prettyoften. We’re walking around the terrible mall and I see a Mexican restaurant.Awesome, I love Mexican food and she can eat beans or whatever.
So I was like, “Hey, this place looks nice. We can eat here.”
“No… I want… to go… to… Five Guys.” Was the monotonereply.
Sure, take me to a burger joint I don’t want to go to and where you can’teat after I drove half an hour to you, that’s nice.
So I got a burger and she got a mushrooms between bread sandwich. It was thesaddest thing I’ve ever seen. She tried to make conversation over how manynapkins they give you. She revealed her life goal was to work at a barely aboveminimum wage job in her hometown after she graduated college.
At this point I should have quietly stood up and left the building withoutacknowledging her, but I’m an optimist and I figure it had to go up from here.
During our slow, short walk she has to take a break, twice. On the firstbreak she told me of all the shows on T.V. that were her idea, like Lost. Shetold me between breaths that she used to do Brazilian Jujitsu and that she wasan athlete. On the second break she told me she had to go at 8:45 (her mom wascoming to pick her up) and I told her that I, as it just so happened, had to goat 8:15.
I asked her the time and she told me it was 8:02. I said something to theeffect of close enough and got up and left.
I called my friend on the way home to work out some of the frustration. Atsome point he asked what her name was. It was then I realized that I neverbothered to ask. I didn’t even get that girl’s name, if that’s not a completefailure I don’t know that is.
5. Some people like to find deals.
I have a few gems.
-Go out to dinner. She excuses herself. Five minutes go by. Then 10. At the15 minute mark I flag the waiter, figuring I got bailed on. She comes back afew minutes after, acts like nothing is wrong. Seems kinda jumpy, and issniveling constantly. Nose starts bleeding. Eventually comes out she did blowin the bathroom.
-Girl shows up to date with her 3 kids, a son and two daughters, all underage 10. It had never been mentioned she had kids, even after I specificallyasked. Just looking for a free meal.
-Girl didn’t smile in any of her pics. Being an online dating rookie, peggedher as the “serious” type. Nope. She was the “I only have halfof my teeth and the ones I do have look like meth mouth” type.
And sadly, these are just a few. I’ve been on POF and OKC, but have sincedeleted them both.
Best line I ever heard about these sites? “Online dating is like a reallife clearance rack”.
6. Yeah, that might be a red flag.
Met up with a girl from OKC over coffee. She wasa couple years older than me but she seemed down to earth. Not two minutesinto casual warmup conversation, she starts talking about her ex(s) and how shewould stalk them at random at their work places. (Story continues…)
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By the time I get her off this topic, she’smoved on to me and talking about our perfect life together, how she’d secureour love, started demanding passwords to my facebook and email. I walked outshortly into this, and she made a grab for my keys (I had them out as part of the’I’m leaving now okay?’).
7. Pulling rank.
So I’m currently in the military overseas and I got bored one day so I gotonline thinking, you know what screw it why not. So I’m on the site justmessaging a few random girls and start talking to this girl that seemed prettynice.
Well we hit it off and decided to grab dinner one day. During the dinner Inot only found out she only just turned 20 (which really isn’t that big of adeal) but she was also the daughter of one of the Chiefs on my ship.
I kind of just noped out of there.
8. Oh nein, nein, nein…
Set a first date for a big Halloween bar hop. I went as hipster Hitler.Never do the first date as Hitler.
To be fair, you can’t read snark on a text. Turns out she was very Jewish.
9. The best laid plans…
I joined an online dating site four years ago hoping to hook up with a bunchof girls. I spent a week messaging a few girls and decided to meet the first ofthese girls to put my plan into action. We ended up hitting it off and starteddating exclusively. Four years later and we are still dating. She completelyruined my plan.
10. You’re crossing a dangerous line.
This woman seemed really cool. We were both 25, she’d just finished hermasters, and was job hunting. She was fit, witty, and had piercings. I was afan.
We meet. Well, fit was apparently 5yrs prior, but she was “trying toget back to her normal weight” and so thought it appropriate to use theolder photos. I’m talking a 70-85lb difference from photo to reality. I’m apretty fit guy and have always been fairly health conscious so this doesn’tappeal to me, but we can be friends.
She’s witty though, so we talk. Where’s the wit? I toss her a couple ofverbal jousts. Nothing. Turns out her roommate had been helping her reply tomessages. That’s cool, I can be friends with nice people that aren’t witty.
Okay, well her nose ring is actually a weirdly shiny wart that she tries topass off as a nose ring because she’s embarrassed by it.
All of this isn’t the worst part though. (Story continues…)
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We were out for dinner and went to a decent gourmet pizza joint. Low lights,thin crusts, and wine. Without asking, she reaches over and starts pickingtoppings of my pizza. Pardon me, but keep your grubby hands off my prosciutto! Itwas unforgivable.
11. In it for the adventure.
I’ve been online dating for the better part of a year, it’s been a blast. I’vemainly had luck finding casual partners over people to have a relationshipwith, but that’s okay. Honestly, I don’t mind the wildness. You pay 3$ for a beerand have a killer story. Here’s a short list of things
-Girl was on house arrest, “forgot” to tell me
-Girl brought three friends to the first date and wanted me to buy them allcocktails
-Girl brings a binder full of laminated copies of her own poems, asks me toread and critique them at the table
12. The ghosts of girlfriend’s past.
I met a guy online and found that he was pretty funny, generallygood-looking, and professed to be adventurous and open to new experiences.
We go on a walk together on a popular oceansidepathway in my town. We talk the whole time, he definitely has the gift of gab. Butsomething was off. As he walked next to me, he would occasionally jerk his torsointo a twist, maybe to look awkwardly behind him for some reason? It happenedthree times while walking with him, and I only ever saw it out of the corner ofmy eye because I think he only did it when I wasn’t looking. I decided to writeit off as nothing important.
He also warned “When you meet me, my really deep voice may be off-putting” ……what? No. Also, his voice was very average.
We sat down to continue our conversation and that’s when I found that I wason a date with the world’s largest negative Nancy. He described his life like one bigseries of unfortunate events even if it really wasn’t worth mentioning. Not mycuppa tea.
By the end of that date, I was justifying all of his negativity with hisrecent management change at work, which turned out to be pretty rough. So wewent on another date.
Oh my god worst idea ever.
We went to coffee and for the ensuing hour, I heard the short and long ofsome chick who recently denied him a relationship. He had literally known herfor TWO WEEKS, but apparently he had taken some serious offense.
He whipped out his phone and started sifting throughtheir texts, READING ME HER RESPONSES and getting more and more worked up aboutthe rejection as he read them. (Story continues…)
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He whipped out his phone and started sifting through their texts, READING MEHER RESPONSES and getting more and more worked up about the rejection as heread them.
It was sheer misery to sit there pretending to not be incredibly offended.Who wants to hear you obviously pine away for the girl who just rejected you?!
From what I gathered, the girl had gotten the same weird vibe I was gettingand had bowed out as quickly as possible. I followed her lead and two dayslater I met up with the guy to let him know that it just wasn’t working for me.
He was gracious enough. I never got any long, drawnout texts about it.
13. Coming on too strong.
Met a guy I had been communicating with online for about a month. He seemedsmart, funny, and we had quite a bit in common – at least on paper. I met himat a nice outdoor spot conveniently located close to the college public safetyoffice just in case. He turned up and was incredibly cute as I had expectedfrom his pictures, but something seemed kind of off from the start.
He talked about his obsession with blaxploitationfilms for the first full 30 minutes, and then told me he really needed me inhis life because his parents had died in a car accident 2 years ago and he hadno friends.
Of course I felt terrible for him, but had to be honest about myfeelings and let him know that although I did not see us dating in the future,I would love to hang out as friends. The next morning I woke up to 19 textmessages from him. I opened my dorm room door and there was a bouquet offlowers. I had never taken him to my dorm. Attached to the flowers was a note,which read “I am waiting for you at the school chapel. I have been waitingall night. Please please please come see me. I won’t leave until you do.”I ended up calling the college security and they escorted him off campus. Irealize it was a jerk move, but not doing so would have likely made a bad situation worse.
14. What, you don’t like flapjacks?
An ex room mate of mine had zero luck with the ladies. Hewas 23 or 24 and met an 18 year old on Christian mingle. One day, he brings herover, and she looks like a worn out truck stop waitress, despite her age, and itwas immediately recognizable that she was on something (found out it was Xanaxbars) in the first few minutes of meeting the girl.
She spoke very…very…slowly… and I doubt there was an ounce of intelligence in her entire body.After seeing her a few times, we (the other roommates and I) started noticingA LOT of stuff going missing. She wasn’t welcome over after that.
15. The buddy system works.
I went along with a friend on her first date with this guy she met online.She was nervous about meeting him alone, so he told her to bring a friend, andhe’d bring one of his friends. She tells the guy I’m not single, he says thatdoesn’t matter, his friend is cool with it and just likes to meet new people. Ialso like to meet new people, and I’m willing to help her out, so I agree.
Fast forward to the bar. Guy shows up, and he’s gotta be as old as my dad.Which, whatever, she likes older guys. He still seemed kind of too old for her,but it’s none of my business. He also came alone. Perhaps he figured he’d scoretwo women at once this way.
He sits down and everything goes downhill IMMEDIATELY. Guy keeps telling mehow gorgeous I am, while trying to touch my friend– trying to get her to hughim, putting his hand on her knee, telling her to smile, stuff like that. Justbeing really obnoxious. She finally tells him he needs to stop touching her, hetells her to relax and keeps winking at us. Tells me I need to”control” her. Telling us we’re “so gorgeous” and “sobeautiful” over and over again, as though he’d hit the magic number ofcompliments and we’d just rip our clothes off right then and there. Friend andI are giving each other the serious eyebrows. (Story continues…)
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So I try to engage him– tell me about yourself, what’s your job (“Imake a lot of money.” Wink.), what do you like to do in your free time,etc. He’s just giving us stupid vague answers like he’s being coy and justkeeps repeating how pretty we are. Seeing that we’re not going for it, hestarts telling us (somewhat irritably) that we’re “just on scholarship.”I ask him what that means, he just winks again. This guy….
So I say, “Let me tell you what I think that means– I think you’reupset that we’re not excited that a man of your age and means is spending timetrying to woo us, and that we’re only behaving this way because we’re young andattractive. Is that what you’re trying to say?” He says no. I start to askhim again what “on scholarship” means, and he interrupts me– holdsup his finger— and says “You’re gorgeous, but you really need to stoptalking.”
DATE OVER. Friend and I are agape. He WINKS AGAIN like he didn’tjust tell me to shut my mouth. Friend says “Okay, we’re done here.Goodnight.” We stand up and go to another table in the same bar. He doesnot follow, though he does come by later to apologize. APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED,UGH. Saw him around the bar later trying to foist his “charms” onother young women hanging about, and having just about as much luck. Dirtbag.
16. Five degrees of separation.
I had been single for two years after the break up of a 4 year relationshipand had only been on one date in those two years. Not being the type of girl togo hang out at bars, I signed up for online dating.
The first person to view my profile, before I had even put up a picture, wasa good friend who said he was easily able to figure out it was me even withouta photo. Ok, good sign that I’m representing myself well.
The first couple of weeks I got the typical creeper messages and had startedchatting with a few seemingly normal guys. Things got weird once I startedgoing on dates.
First guy: Had no social skills. Looked like he had slept in the clothes hemet me for breakfast in and hadn’t showered. Said he was an amateur comedianbut the jokes he tried to tell me came off as strange and not funny in theslightest. I had stupidly given him my cell number before we meet and despite sendinghim a message on the site that I didn’t see anything coming of that one date,he proceeded to text me at random intervals for two months asking to go to oneof the open mic nights he was preforming at.
Second guy: Seemed great when we were messaging. Was in a band, had a goodjob. He lived an hour from me so we agreed to meet at a great bar that was inbetween us. Stood me up and never responded to the message I sent the next day.He did send me a message about a month later as if we had never spoken beforeand I had the pleasure of reminding him of the situation and telling him to take a hike.
Third guy: Had a great first date and saw each other 3 more times that sameweek. Ended up hanging out for three months but only seeing each other everyother week or so. Eventually he told me he wasn’t attracted to me any moreabout the time I was realizing I wanted an actual relationship.
Fourth guy: This was the worst experience. We talked constantly for twoweeks. He was ex military, looked really handsome in his pictures. When Ipulled in the parking lot at the restaurant, I saw a guy walking and thought ohplease don’t let that be him. Surprise! It was him. His pictures were obviouslyseveral years old. He had gained at least 50 lbs, his hairline was receding andhe was not as handsome as his pictures looked. I’m not shallow so I figured ifconversation went as well as online we’d still have fun. Wrong, all he talkedabout during dinner was his time in the military and barely let me get a wordin. He also decided to tell me how he had been engaged until a few months ago,but she had left him. Great topic for a first date. We then went to a movie andI honestly remember next to nothing about it because I was focusing on keepinghis hand off my leg. He kept trying to rub my leg and arm and just generallybeing creepy. By the time we left the movie he was talking like we were alreadyin a relationship. I was ready to get the heck away from this guy and of coursehe goes for a kiss which I successfully deflected. Sent him a message the nextday saying there was no chance for any sort of relationship and luckily neverheard from him again.
Fifth guy: I get a message saying “I don’t know how much we really havein common but…” Talk constantly for a week. Decided to meet for dinnerand a movie. He was late because of traffic. Luckily was much cuter than hispictures. Had a wonderful dinner, great conversation, really hitting it off. Goto the theater and the movie we had planned to see was not playing at that timeanymore, I had looked at the wrong day on the website. Ok, chose a differentmovie that isn’t for 45 minutes. Go to the mall across the street walk aroundand talk some more. Get back to the theater and that showing is sold out. Buytickets for the next showing in a half hour, it was opening weekend of themovie so it was on two screens. Sit in the theater for half an hour talking.Kiss then spend the whole movie with his arm around me. Sit in my car for halfan hour after the movie talking some more.
And that is how several bad experiences lead up to themost ill planned date ever with the man that I have been with for over a yearnow and will, eventually, marry.