Apparently not everyone loses their virginity in a Kia Sorento on Black Friday in a Target parking lot. Apparently that’s “just me.”
This piece is based on AskReddit threads. Links on the last page.
1. Walk-on parts.
My wife and I both waited until marriage. Our first night was a disaster. I spilled the entire bottle of lube in the middle of the bed. Worse, the hotel switched our room last minute.
Just as we were getting naked together for the first time, there was a sudden commotion. A strange couple came bursting through our door. Apparently the hotel forgot to tell them they had switched our rooms and had failed to give them a different key.
It took me quite a while to get turned on after that. I wasn’t particularly nervous, I think the little guy was just shy. She said later she didn’t even notice.
Although it was kind of a disaster we were able to laugh about it and we still had fun and look back fondly on the night.
2. The worst part was the emotions.
Man here. It was awful. Waited until we were married. My new wife was on her period, and she was super emotional after all the wedding stuff. Plus she was a virgin too, so We had super emotional, slightly painful, period sex that ended in less than 5 seconds. Second time next morning wasn’t much better, except it lasted a few seconds longer.
But were still married 11 years later.
3. Carrots and sticks.
My wife and I were both virgins when we got married. The first time was great and funny to look back on. I didn’t even make it fully inside her before finishing, but after 15-20 minutes we were right back at it and had better success. We went at it at least one other time that night and then were like rabbits as soon as we woke up the next day.
4. Talking ’bout PRACTICE.
Short, dissapointing, and shameful due to the duration. Happy to report that practice makes perfect, and it’s fun practicing.
5. Skin in the game.
The first night was fine, but some fumbling around. What was worse was the next three years. We were virgins for religious reasons. However, she had some mental block about an issue that had nothing to do with the Bible, and it made our sex life super awkward. (continued…)
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Two or three months into our marriage she starts bawling after sex and confesses that my uncircumcised penis has led to her waiting for me to fall asleep before she would then cry herself to sleep at night. She said it made her feel guilty, even though there is nothing in our religion about that. I had no idea what to say.
From that point on, she would openly cry at night, or openly cry during or right after sex. Then we had another miserable three years together, pretty much hating being married but sticking it out because in our religion divorce could get you kicked out of the church.
I became so depressed that by the day she finally did leave me I only weighed 125 pounds at six feet tall. Three weeks later I had my appetite back due to sheer joy and had gained 25 pounds in 21 days.
If we hadn’t been in that religion, our relationship would’ve lasted no longer than it would take for me to drop my pants in front of her because she literally hated my penis.
I’m no longer in the church anymore and don’t speak to old friends or any family. Honestly the best decision I’ve ever made, to leave and not come back.
The sad truth is that she and I really, truly ought not to have married but we did anyways because of our religion.
6. Mr. Lube.
It was… fine. The most awkward part was that both of us forgot lube and texted the maid of honor, asking her to go to a store and get us some.
The big problem that we have is that we were together for 4 years before we got married so we got really good at not having sex. Even after being married for a few years we sometimes seem to forget that it is just a thing we can do instead of watching Top Chef.
7. Getting a slice.
I’d rate it a solid 10/10. Not because of the sex. Because it was NOT the best sex ever. Not even close.
But because I enjoyed figuring out this new and really really SURPRISINGLY complicated thing with my husband. And it was enjoyable and fun despite not having mind blowing orgasms.
Also we ate a whole pizza in the huge Jacuzzi tub during the pre and post sexy times. I’d recommend that to everyone.
8. I had no idea that was a thing.
My wife and I both waited until our wedding night. And I’m in the minority here, but it was honestly fantastic. We started out by always being honest about our expectations of sex, and what we wanted from it, both personally and for our relationship. A couple months before the wedding, she went to her OBGYN and told him our plan. So he gave her something I’ve never seen before. (continued…)
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He gave her a series of plastic “expanders” that increased in size. Basically just cheap, plastic dildos that no one would ever actually use to stimulate themselves. They started out really small, like the size of a pencil, and increased in size to be about average penis size. So she basically stretched herself out beforehand. This resulted in a MUCH more pleasurable and pain-free experience for her.
So now finally to the wedding night. We went to our hotel after the wedding, she changed into lingerie, and I waited on the bed. We both got to know each other a bit more, and then had a great first time. We ended up doing it a couple more times throughout the course of the evening. She even woke me up in the middle of the night and asked if I was ready (that hasn’t happened much since).
So basically, if you’re waiting, just be prepared, talk with each other about expectations, see your OBGYN, have lots of ideas of things you wanna try (and you’re both on board with trying), and have fun.
9. It took three days???
My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. We finally lost the v-card three days after the wedding.
On our wedding night, he couldn’t get the right angle to get in and had a premature detonation. I was too shy to help guide him in. He said, “I’m so sorry!” and then we went to sleep. Repeat for a few days until finally BOOM! It hurt for a second and it was over another second later.
We’ve been married 10 years now, we’re happy and have a good, healthy sex life.
10. Driving drunk.
I got drunk at the after party, woke her up in the middle of the night so we could have sex, couldn’t get it in. I found out that whiskey penis is a real thing and that it is very tiring to be on top. She likes to poke fun at me once in a while about how eager I was.
11. You don’t know until you try.
Guy here, fianc and I had known for a long time we wanted to stay virgins until marriage. We still did some heavy petting while dating, but always through clothes. Fast forward to our wedding night and I’m hyped to get things going. So we start with our foreplay, clothes start coming off
Yeah, it turns out we should’ve talked about the night before we got there. We weren’t tired but she apparently had no intention of actually going any further that night, while I had every intention of going all the way. Not wanting to start our marriage off with an argument, I suck it up and think “no biggie, it’ll happen tomorrow.” It didnt happen, but not for the reasons you might think. (continued…)
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Turns out my wife has vaginismus, a condition that causes her to have extreme difficulty with any sort of penetration. We’re talking intense burning pain. Pretty much ruined the intimacy vibe for the entire trip. Nearly three years later and we still can’t really do penetration, but do other stuff instead. She felt/feels awful about not being able to have the intimacy we both want, and I know it’s not her fault so I try to understand her position the best that I can.
And for the record, she has trouble with tampons and Pap smears too, so it’s not just sex.
12. The soundtrack is everything.
My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. I was a very plain 19 year old and he was 25 and never had the opportunity. Our wedding night was awesome and hilarious. When we got to the hotel, I put on my brand new silk nightgown and he turned on the radio.
We started getting used to the new freedom when ‘Let’s get Physical’ by Olivia Newton John came on the radio. We felt it was a sign and just went for it.
We were giggling so much. We made love three times the first night and the same song came on during each session. It made it so memorable. It has been 35 years and that song still makes us laugh and run to the bedroom. The sex is still awesome.
13. Who needs poker?
My husband and I were both virgins when we got married. We were very excited, not only to have sex for the first time, but to get to live in the same house, go to sleep in the same bed, etc. Up until we got married, we never spent time alone together in his apartment or my dorm.
It wasn’t as if we just had great sex immediately, but that didn’t really matter. We talked openly, and just spent time together and touched each other and enjoyed being together, and laughed a lot together (we played rock paper scissors for who would take their clothes off first!)
So honestly, the first night in terms of sex was pretty disappointing, but neither of us were disappointed because we weren’t just looking forward to sex, we were looking forward to being married. And we were thrilled that we were finally married and got to live together!
14. See you on the flip side.
I was married previously and had a daughter, but he was a virgin. He was my college sweetheart and we got back in touch a couple years after I got divorced. He was still a virgin. He wanted to wait until marriage to have sex and I was totally fine with that because that’s what he wanted.
After a year of a wonderful sexless relationship, the wedding night rolls around and I can’t wait to get me some and…his penis is upside down?
Not really upside down, but pointed strait down while hard. It hurt him to have sex missionary style. I’m a pretty blunt person and stupidly said, “I don’t think it’s supposed to do that. You might want to get that looked at.” Poor guy. He was probably so excited to make love to his wife for the first time in his 28 years and I tell him there’s something wrong with his junk.
He left me after 5 days. True story.
15. Sick honeymoon.
Well, we found out about her latex allergy. No joke. Also, I got to go to the ER on our honeymoon for a kidney infection.
Other than that, it was super duper.
16. Awkward is awkward.
It was actually pretty terrible. It hurt her a lot, I barely got the tip in before she was crying and begging me to stop. We had a bath together instead, and fell asleep holding each other.
Tried again the next night and it was a little better.
Real sex didn’t happen until night 4, and I finished in about 4 minutes. Young awkward sex is bad. Being married doesn’t magically make it good.
17. Drop and give me 20.
I was married to my high school sweetie at 19 and we were both virgins (very much her idea) and our wedding night was awful. In cases of dual virgin hook ups I think there should be a coach present.
18. Can’t elope.
We literally eloped so we could have sex and neither of us were particularly religious or had known each other for that long. We were 19 and very nervous and in way, way over our heads. We couldn’t go through with it that night. We never ended up having sex. We still lived with family and told no one.
After a month of awkward dates as husband and wife, we stopped seeing each other. I never ended up telling my family about this. I ended up losing my virginity a few months later to someone else. Years later I was getting married and needed to get an annullment. It turned out she died a few months after we broke up.
19. Sexual chemistry is important.
I was raised religious and planned on “saving myself” for marriage. I entered into a long-term relationship in college (my first real relationship) and began to think twice about why I was continuing my abstinence. She was raised religious as well and had similar notions, both the original abstinence plan and the second guessing.
My girlfriend and I ended up in an apartment together. (continued…)
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We even shared a bed for nearly 3 years, but never had sex. We didn’t even use the religious loophole. If you can imagine it, we never did more than occasional heavy petting for 5 years. Somewhere along the line, we had both given up on the abstinence because of religion thing, but continued to practice it due to some severe obsessive thoughts around unintended pregnancy. By this point I didn’t get too excited over sex or lack thereof, so we just continued to abstain.
We eventually married and attempted to celebrate the occasion in the usual fashion, but due in part to our inexperience and the incredibly high anticipation of the evening…it didn’t go well. We learned a bit on the honeymoon, but we were still too new at it to really be able to maximize pleasure for either party.
We will be celebrating our 4th anniversary this year and we have pretty solidly figured out what we are doing. We have learned however, that she could very easily be asexual. She doesn’t have a libido to speak of, while mine is like a freight train. We are working though that with no ill will from either party.
I have recommended to several younger people in my life to experiment before marriage. I think if I were in college again, I would do things differently, but I do not doubt for a second that I would still have ended up with my wife. We mesh incredibly well together and our sexual differences do not detract from our relationship because of our personalities.
This will not be the case for every couple. If we were wired up differently the libido difference could easily be a deal breaker. You should make an effort to know what kind of person you are, where your lines are, where you are willing to compromise and where you are not.
20. To each their own.
Perhaps unpopular or unbelievable but for us it was incredible. It symbolized how our love had grown since we first started dating.
As Catholics it was very important to us that we were both virgins when we were married. This is a choice we made and stuck to for both religious reasons and commitment to each other.
The biggest relief, even now, is knowing that we have never slept with other people so we don’t have to worry about STDs or the like. When we see a show or read something that talks about the worst sex ever or the best, we really don’t understand that because as far as we know we’re good at it.
After a couple years of being married it’s still as good as the first time. Like I said, the peace of mind that I’m with someone I trust and know was worth the wait.
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