Believe it or not, some times all it takes to melt a man’s heart is to compliment him on his appearance, or write him short, sweet notes.
In this article, 29 men share the one thing women can do to melt their heart. [Source can be found at the end of the article]
1. Just a simple touch
On my 16th birthday I quit drinking cold turkey. It wasn’t easy, but I was determined. Anyway, I was sitting in the cafeteria at school one day, just trying to keep myself together, and a friend came and sat down beside me. She didn’t say anything, didn’t ask anything, just played with my hair for a few minutes. It was the first time I’d had human contact without a ton of stress behind it in months.
It was one of those moments that meant nothing to her, she was just being mildly flirtatious and forgot about it basically right away. To me, it may well have been the difference between graduating and moving on with my life’s goal, or dropping out and ending up a junky. Those few minutes not only melted my heart, but changed the course of my life.
We went our separate ways after high school, but we ended up at a few mutual friends house parties a year or so later. After that we started to hang out more and more. Long story short, we’ve been married for almost 13 years now.
2. So sweet!
For me it was when my girlfriend would hug me from behind while I was working on something or just got home, always made me turn around and kiss her.
3. Thanking him without saying a word
When she puts her head on my shoulder or puts her hand on my chest. It’s like a quiet way of saying, “thank you for being here right now.
4. The heart melting kiss
In my last relationship, sometimes I’d kiss her and she’d smile halfway through the kiss. Then she’d notice because it kind of broke up the kiss, and she’d go back in with more affection. But the sheer thought that my kiss made her so happy she’d unconsciously smile always melted my heart.
5. Showing genuine concern
A couple years ago, a friend of mine back home had a freak accident and passed away. I continued going to work that week since I couldn’t fly out until the weekend. One morning, my coworker just looks at me and asks “How are you doing?”
She and I had been friends already and always used to joke around, but her genuine concern really meant a lot to me during a time I was trying not to show grief.
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6. For the love of chicken wings!
I remember my wife and I were at Costco. They were sampling chicken wings. My wife doesn’t like chicken wings so I was surprised when she walked over to the station with me. I got my chicken wing and she got one and said I know you love wings, here” and gave me an extra wing. What an amazing woman I married.
When I’m at a club, I always really appreciate when girls drunkenly pay me compliments, seeing as they’re strangers and have no incentives to – It’s usually stuff like “Oh I really like your hair” or something like that, but just last night, on my way out of the club, a girl stopped me and told me that I was beautiful.
Not sure about where everyone else is, but where I’m from, “beautiful” isn’t really a word that girls just throw around at guys. This was the first thing someone’s told me in a long time that’s really made me feel good about myself.
8. An affectionate embrace
I crave physical affection, so while it may not seem like something huge to normal people, just giving me really big hugs and being overjoyed to see me and showing that by being close to me is all it takes.
9. Small, romantic gifts
Whenever my girlfriend asks me what I want for holidays, I always say, “just something sweet and meaningful” and she always delivers, and it melts my heart.
One birthday she make us a checklist of like 20 romantic things we can go do that year (picnics, kissing in the rain, etc.), and for another she went online and created a book that told the tale (with illustrations) of our early relationship when we met and fell in love.
Maybe I’m a big sap, but those kinds of things mean more to me than any large extravagant or expensive gift.
10. Back of the head scratch
I was driving with a girl I just started hanging out with romantically a couple days ago and without saying anything she put her hand behind my head and just started scratching my head/rubbing the back of it/putting her fingers through my hair.
I’m a 6′ athletic 200 pound combat veteran and I almost squealed with delight. I tried to just maintain a little smile but I probably had the biggest grin on my face.
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11. Small gestures
Slowly and gently run their nails along my arm. Especially on the palm side up. Then my arm veins really pop up which used to drive her nuts.
There were a few times where I was upset or heated about something, and she would do that and I’d immediately become calm.
Damn I miss her.
12. Thoughtful gifts
My girlfriend is a bit socially awkward and so am I. I don’t collect many belongings and feel like taking tons of stuff with you is cluttering your life. So because of that I tend to only buy something I’m positive I know I want and will use and I’ve researched it enough.
My girlfriend for christmas/birthday (with a few weeks of each other) sent me a puzzle and a cut out of us as Pokemon (I’m Snorlax laid back fat and cuddly, she’s Jigglypuff tiny and has a beautiful voice but feisty). I haven’t had a real gift aside from gift cards in years. It meant the world to me and I actually teared up because I knew that I had found someone who cared enough to find something I would like.
13. Receive simple compliments
Guys spend a lot of time finding the right/ appropriate compliments to give women, but we rarely (if ever) get any in return. Tell us you like our eyes/sense of humor/shoes/knees whatever. It’ll stick with us for months.
14. Nobody else but him
I would die if a girl came up to me and just hugged me from behind, and then held my hand as we walked. Or if she would just come over to my house put her head on my shoulder and watch Netflix shows and random movies I want to re-watch and then I would make us something to eat and then have her actually enjoy being with me and nobody else.
15. Just enjoy the moment together
That, sometimes, I don’t want to, nor do I care about taking an Instagram picture whenever we go somewhere. Why don’t we just enjoy the moment without having to get likes on a stupid app?
My last two girlfriends were obsessed with doing this and it drove me insane. How about we just take a picture of us FOR US, not for everyone else to superficially like.
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16. Short and sweet compliment
I had just gone through a breakup and was spending irrational amounts of time at the gym. One of my close friends that is a girl said “I know you spend a lot of time at the gym and it’s really showing off you look great!” She wasn’t flirting with me or anything like that, just a genuinely nice compliment to validate all the hard work I had been putting in.
17. Having a hobby
I am finding in my advanced age (45) that what melts my heart is a girl who is actually interested in something. Some kind of hobby. Something she does for herself that isn’t related to eating or drinking or fitness or mothering kids or animals.
Example: I know a girl who is into old cars (has 2 muscle cars and goes to car shows. By herself.) She listens to old records on her couch with the TV off. She enjoys talking about architecture and mid-century furniture. She loves craftsmanship in all forms. I wish she were an ugly disaster so I would have a shot and get get my hands on that sweet sweet brain. Of course she is a former model with long long blonde hair and high self esteem, I’m not in her league, Lord knows I’ve tried. Friendzone is OK.
But knowing her has helped me understand that someone with actual interests can really melt my heart and that they are out there.
18. Extreme excitement
Not to long ago, my girlfriend came home super excited (like she often is) about her research, and how she had a really awesome something happen with it (I think a paper got published) anyways, so I’m sitting there going through flash cards for school, she comes, sits on my lap, stares at me, kisses me, then continues blabbering on for like 20 minutes about how excited she was. I’ve seen 5 year olds less excited on Christmas morning. It was pretty cute.
19. The chocolate milk cups
In my shared apartment in undergrad, we would host a lot of people on weekends for drinking. Lots of people would make mixed drinks, and we often needed as many cups as possible. I had a few cups that I used to drink non-alcoholic beverages, and I didn’t particularly like when my cups were used for alcoholic drinks, because my chocolate milk, etc. would smell and taste slightly of alcohol for a while after that. But I didn’t wanna be “that guy” so I never said anything about it.
One time, a few of my buddies took out my cups to mix drinks in. Again I kept quiet, but a girl in our friend group saw and said “Hey, don’t use those! Those are [my name]s chocolate milk cups!”
Despite me never bringing the issue up to anyone, she knew me well enough to know that it bothered me, and spoke up on my behalf. It was such a small and mundane thing, but it was one of the sweetest and most meaningful gestures someone has ever made for me.
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20. Slow down
I know this is a strange thing, but it feels like so many women have multiple kids, a job they are always at, or are constantly on the go doing whatever or dating whoever. It’s nice when a woman just slows down, stops worrying about everything, and just spends time with me.
Granted that is becoming harder and harder to find anymore.
21. Pretty much everything she does
My significant other is long distance, 300-ish miles, which is pretty big for the UK, considering a return train journey is minimum 90. Naturally, we spend a lot of time on Skype, because it’s so much better than texting. Usually it’s just little comments, something about how my concentration face is cute, my giggle or smile at a YouTube video is nice to see, or my increasing frustration at Rocket League is adorable. Sometimes it’s just being able to look up from a 7-4 loss and see her beautiful smile. She does all these little things as well. I told her months ago my favourite colour was red, so recently, she bought a red bra. She usually gets black, but bought a red one solely on the fact it’s my favorite color. Tonight she keeps telling me my stubble is cute. What with family and college, I feel bad about what little time I have to spend talking to her, but she’s always there, waiting for me. I guess in reality, everything she does melts me heart. She melts all of me.
22. Showing interest in his interest
One time I was in the middle of playing a game on my computer, girlfriend at the time asked if I could teach her how to play, she’s never used a mouse and keyboard before to play a game. She comes over and sits on my lap and I guide her hands on what to do and how to play and stuff. She was actually really good and picked up on it fairly quickly. Nothing overly sensual or anything like that, it’s just she actually showed genuine interest in something I’m into and she wanted me to introduce her to it and share it with her. First time I ever had a moment like that and I was seriously glowing the rest of the day. Talking about it now even makes me smile.
23. Be more adventurous
My significant other, every now and then, will do something that I’d never expect and I instantly love her times two and am so proud of her, big things like going for a higher position at work or rock climbing to small things. Like the time I dared her to eat a tiny marble sized lemon that we seen growing on a tree at a restaurant and she just picked it peeled it and started chewing. When ever a girl steps out of her comfort zone my heart melts.
24. A meaningful gesture
Had this happen to me recently, sadly didn’t work out.
I bought her a drink. She said thank you genuinely. 20 minutes later she came up to me and bought me one AND had remembered what I ordered.
I said thanks. She said, you looked like you needed a beverage you enjoy.
Ladies, that is WIFE material.
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25. A pure, innocent act of selflessness
My significant other is not from around here, and she’s more used to ethnic food. She knows I like western food a lot, so she made me a fruit salad for desert. With ranch sauce. It was the most adorable thing I have ever seen.
26. Being caring
Do something for me because you care. Anything really because you wanted to make me happy, or if I was having a bad day and wanted to cheer me up. Just anything to remind me that you care about me. I have had a lot of relationships lately where they never gave that to me. Never really made me feel like they cared, that I mattered to them.
27. Cute notes!
My girlfriend wrote a bunch of notes and hid them around my room. They’re all really short like 1 sentence, but they say things like “have a nice day” or “you should smile all the time because I love your smile.” I keep them all in my nightstand and reread them every so often.
28. Going out of her way to do small things
The one thing that melts my heart is when she does something like clean dust off my shoulders , or pulls a hair or something off my clothes.
Even something as silly as cleaning my glasses for me, cause she noticed a little dust on them.
If I havent asked her and she goes out her way to do these things anyway, it definitely gains her points.
29. Initiating things
Treat me like I’m worth something.
I’ve dated so many girls who offered me the privilege of a date. I got to pay for dinner. I got to pay for a movie. I had to plan everything and make sure it was fun and thrilling. This was expected of me. If I failed in these areas, I didn’t get to see her again.
Later in the relationship, I get to hang out with her. I got to hug her. I got to kiss her. But she would never initiate. I had to be bold and daring and know when the moment was right. If I made a misstep, I was a creep. How dare I?
I wasn’t so much a boyfriend or a date as I was just an experience or an accessory. Slight flaws might be forgivable, but I always have to wear that mask. I always have to play that role. If I mess up, I could ruin everything I was made to work for.
And I truly have to work for it. Men have to. We have to adhere to this strict cultural expectations of masculinity that make us more product than person when dating.
If you want to melt my heart, take me out. Buy me dinner. Plan a date that a guy would like. Risk a first kiss. Discuss things with me. Initiate sex sometimes instead of just dropping hints that it’s ok to do it right now. Make me feel like I’m a partner and not a prop.