Attraction is a fickle thing. One moment you can’t get enough of someone, and the next, you’re ready to run for the hills. Here, horrified women share the smallest thing a guy did to completely ruin a date.
1. Nothing sexier than half-masticated food rolling around in someone’s trap.
Date was going great, nice guy, really sweet, very smart.
When he ate he took like 4 or 5 bites at a time before chewing. He filled his face as full as legally possible. His cheeks would bulge out and he could barely keep his lips shut. You could see all the food mashed up and grinding around through his little mouth hole.
I knew in that moment that I hated him.
2. Just a little salt ‘n’ pepper…
He held and licked the back of my hand on the first date. Then, he proceed to tell me how yummy I would taste if I was cooked.
I appreciate the romanticism but nope. NOPE. NOPEEE.
Outta there ASAP because I was not about to be Hannibal’s next meal.
3. From zero to one hundred.
Not me, but a female friend of mine was just telling me about her most recent OKCupid date. Her description went something like this:
Everything was going really great. He is smart and funny, and easy to talk to. He seems like a great dad to his kids and gets along ok with his ex (always a good sign). Just really down-to-earth guy and it seemed like there was some nice chemistry. After dinner we decided to go have a drink at a fun little bar about a mile away. We got in his car to drive over there. He kissed me, which was nice.
Then he took out his penis.
4. Well played.
I went on a first date with a guy who was a class away from getting his doctorate in something. Date was going well and, trying to get to know him more, I asked about his work. I remember him saying he worked in a lab and then explained in detail about what he does.
He was very very smart and I had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. I told him flat out, in a polite way that I had no clue what he was talking about, but it sounded interesting. I remember that he then got this disgust/disappointment look on his face.
He then said, “I guess I have to dumb it down for you…you know how in South Park that scientist created a monkey with four butts just because? Well that’s kinda what I do. I create things just because and learn from that. Do you understand now?”
At that point I was done. Just because I don’t what you are doing, doesn’t mean I am dumb. After that night he texted me a few times and I didn’t respond. Finally he sent me one last one demanding to know why I wasn’t responding and I said, “l guess I have to dumb it down for you…remember in South Park when Wendy doesn’t want to date Stan anymore? So she ignores him?? This is what I’m doing. Do you understand now?”
Never heard from him again.
5. Totally unnecessary.
I always go on a date expecting to pay my half, but as you know, it’s common that a lot of men pay for the first date.
Anyway, we were at a coffee shop and he stepped up to the counter, placed his order, looked back and me and asked me what I wanted. Since this seemed like a pretty obvious sign that he was going to pay, I gave him my order and said thank you. He paid for the coffees, handed me mine, and said, “Don’t expect this every time.”
Are you kidding me?? I didn’t expect this in the first place, jerk. Unsurprisingly, the date didn’t get better.
6. Some people are so inconsiderate.
He made reservations at one of the most expensive restaurants in our city. When I sheepishly offered to split it, he says, “Oh, you didn’t think I was going to pick this all up, right? I don’t have that kind of money.”
I don’t care about how much money you have bro, but if we’re splitting it, I get to have a say in where we are going. I was in college and could barely afford my half. I never answered him again after that.
He showed up remarkably, extravagantly, supernaturally high.
8. My eyes are up here.
I was around 15 and went out on a date with a 17 year old boy. It was the first date of my life and I was pretty stoked, he was really fun and I thought it would be super sweet. I barely knew him though.
Anyway, we were sitting at this bench next to a streetlamp, talking about our lives and stuff, but he couldn’t look me in the eye at all. His eyes were fixated on my boobs. It was so uncomfortable. Sometimes I’d just stop talking and he didn’t even notice. I told him I had to go home and never spoke to him again.
9. How not to be an adult.
He invited me over to his place for dinner. He filled us each a plastic cup with of some kind of grape wine. I asked for a glass of water, and he grabs a large Styrofoam Smoothie King cup, fills it with water, and hands it to me.
This cup had obviously been around the block a few times, because it had those teeth indentions everywhere on the brim of the cup. I ask,”Do you not have cups?”
His response: “That is a cup.”
Technically, he was right. I mean, why invite me over for dinner if you’re not prepared? He also only owned one knife, did not have any tables or chairs to sit at, and did not own any plates. He ate out of the skillet, I ate my food on the box it came on.
Now one fart, that’s just hilarious.
But multiple farts, making it sound like your digestive system is going to explode – combined with the smell of a thousand rotting corpses – just… no.
I don’t date much, and he was a good guy. I just couldn’t get past the endless farting.
11. Respect someone’s right to say “no” or get out.
Guy offered to buy me a drink. I don’t drink, and had told him that before I agreed to go on the date, so I figured he’d just forgotten and I politely reminded him. But then he wouldn’t let it go and kept making me justify why I don’t drink. It got as far as him saying he couldn’t think of any reason I would need to be able to think clearly before I noped the heck out. It’s really a shame because prior to that he seemed really nice.
12. Well that’s a little presumptuous.
I met this guy off Tinder, he showed up to my house with an overnight bag…. And then it was over before it started.
13. Please stop talking.
I went on a date with a guy who was a few years older than me. He picked me up and we went to a decent restaurant and the conversation wasn’t too bad.
When he asked me what I liked to drink I told him I wasn’t a huge drinker and that I was honestly happy with just a beer occasionally.
He shook his head and slapped the table with his hand and then insisted that he order our drinks because he knew exactly what I would enjoy. He ordered me a really heavy, fruity tasting beer that I could only sip on and spent 30 minutes educating me beer. I nodded and tried to stay engaged but it was half an hour of different beers and, “Have you ever tried?…Oh man, you haven’t lived yet!”
I mean I guess some people are really into beer but it just wasn’t my thing.
14. What’s the point?
Inviting me out to a nice dinner place, and not ordering anything except watching me eat. Like, why bother coming out?
15. No point in trying too hard.
When I was 18 I went out with a guy who was 20 and said that he always got away with buying alcohol. He tried to impress me by buying a bottle of wine, but when the waiter asked for his I.D. he said he had forgotten it at home. That alone wouldn’t have been too big of a deal but this happened at the second restaurant we went to that night. He had originally taken me to a much nicer place, but then after looking at the menu told me that he couldn’t afford it and had us leave.
I don’t actually care about any of that, man. I’m on a date with you because I want to get to know you. I don’t care if we go somewhere inexpensive but don’t try so hard to seem cool, especially if you can’t pull it off.
16. Not everyone throws out their clothes after wearing them once.
I apparently ruined a second date once. I wore the same pair of pants for both outings. The dates were a week apart and I honestly forgot what I wore the first time. She commented on them as soon as she saw them and then was barely communicative for the rest of the evening.
17. Am I boring you?
I was hanging out with a friend at his place, listening to music and sharing good conversation. Not necessarily a date, but he was being flirty and we were both single at the time. He asked if I minded if he smoked and I said no. He proceeded to get so high that he fell asleep soon after. He had picked me up so I was stuck there without a ride.
It wasn’t him smoking that I minded, but it made me feel like I wasn’t interesting enough or something. Plus he didn’t seem to think about the fact that he left me stranded there.
18. And the pettiest person of the year award goes to…
I ruined a date for a girl once.
Dinner and a movie (her suggestion).
Dinner was super great.
Movie we were chatting before hand, it’s awesome.
I asked if she’d like popcorn or a drink, she wants popcorn. I get to the end of the row and realize I should ask (which is what makes this crazy) I yell back “you want butter?” I swear she nods yes.
I get back to the seat and she asked,”There is butter in this?”
“Yeah I asked you, I thought you said yes?”
She said she didn’t remember me doing that. I wasn’t going to fight her so I just apologized and asked if she wanted me to go get her one without. She said no it was fine.
Then in the next five minutes she made at least ten comments saying,”I wish this didn’t have butter” and at least twice she refused to let me go up and get her a replacement, or go get her own replacement or not eat the popcorn.
Finally I just made a joke about it, “You’re not gonna be able to let this popcorn thing go are you?”
And she said, “Obviously this isn’t going to work out, thanks for dinner”
And she got up and left.
19. Guess I’ll suffer quietly over here.
I went out on a first date to dinner with a fellow I had been talking to online for weeks. I have a deadly seafood allergy and even the smell of fish makes me feel ill, which he was well aware of since we had discussed it a few times. He ordered seafood chowder. I could barely eat my food because of the smell.
20. Can we talk about something else?
We were different races and he just kept talking about it. There wasn’t any get-to-know-you conversation just fixation on my race.
21. It’s okay, I didn’t have anything important to say anyway.
He interrupted me about 3 times in 5 minutes. Not like nervous interruption or absent-minded, just “what I have to say is more important than what you are saying.”
That is a bad, bad way to start a relationship.
22. Yikes, yikes, yikes.
On the first date, I hadn’t realized he had a pierced ear until he showed up with a dangly feather earring. I don’t really like pierced ears on a guy, but I’ll deal with it. Not a big feather earring, though. Still, it was OK.
Thought I’d give it a second chance – wouldn’t it be terribly superficial to not give it a try over a feather earring? Maybe I wore something he didn’t like, too, but he overlooked it! I invited him to a friend’s Christmas party at a hotel.
On the second date, he shows up for the Christmas party wearing a tie with cartoon cows having sex in a variety of positions. I was torn. I like the idea of wearing something slightly different. I do not like the idea of showing up to meet new people at a cocktail party with cows doing it doggy style all over my chest.
He said, “Is this making you horny, baby?” like Austin Powers. I realized it wasn’t just the clothes that were a concern. I just didn’t think we had much in common if he thought all that was a good idea, even if it was small.
23. Only slightly unsettling.
Second date: wrote me a poem and made me read it in front of him, it had lines about holding me and how great it was- he hadn’t touched me yet.
24. This is messed up.
He got weirdly critical about me using my left hand to hold my fork with (I’m a lefty) he said it was improper. Then we went to his place (after I told him at least three times that we were just going to hang out, no sex) and had a beer each, and he claimed he was too drunk to drive me home… Yeah I called my roommate and thankfully he insisted on coming to get me.
25. Have some compassion.
He totally trashed a waitress. There was something he just didn’t like about the meal and he just went on and on on her, just being beyond rude. He was super conceited, too.
26. What am I, a social experiment?
On the second date he told me ,”All girls are crazy” and that he was just “waiting to see what I would do”.
27. Apparently, conversations are a one-way street.
Nice guy, nice date.
Except that he got annoyed every time I interrupted him to respond to something he just said. It was impossible to keep a conversation going because he would ramble on and when he was finally done talking I had at least three different things to respond to.
The conversations couldn’t evolve because he didn’t allow me to jump in with answers, counter-arguments or points of view.
28. Some people just don’t get it.
I was on a coffee date with a guy who initially seemed really nice. But he would not stop talking about Dr. Who, even after I made it clear that I’d never watched it, had no idea what he was talking about, and wasn’t interested in watching it to find out.
I mean c’mon, how hard is it to pick up on the fact that we’ve been on this subject for the better part of half an hour and I’ve barely said anything?
Afterwards he insisted on walking me home, even after I said it was no big deal and only like a 7 minute walk (out of his way). I couldn’t even ditch him at the tram stop, after telling him I thought we should just be friends. He still walked me to my door.
29. Don’t touch my food.
He started eating off my plate.
30. Car trouble.
Told me he traded in his old BMW for a new BMW because he wanted leather interior. He had also crashed his Nissan Z a month prior into our (we actually lived in the same apartment complex) apartments sign outside of the complex. He was about 8 years older than me, and I thought he was irresponsible.
31. Please stop.
One time I went on a date with this guy we went out to dinner, had some drinks and he was such a gentlemen. Paid for everything, super sweet, good looking, very complimentary, and everything was going great. We went back to his place to chill and smoke and we’re watching some dumb TV show and it happens. This guy starts laughing so hard, he’s damn nearly shouting and he’s flailing his arms and legs in the air, I had to move to the other side of the couch for safety reasons.
That date ended pretty quickly after that.