A double standard is a rule or principle that is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups.
Here, people discuss the most frustrating gender double standards of all time!
1. Single parents deserve more credit in general.
Single father? He’s a hero.
Single mother? She’s made questionable life choices and is probably easy.
2. We should just stop shaming people in general.
Men are able to put on weight and it’s seen as acceptable, but if a woman does, it’s seen as “letting herself go.” Exhibit A the dad bod.
Same thing with age. Age is seen as something that makes men sexier and women less desirable.
3. Darn right I’m bossy.
Men being loud and slightly aggressive is good and being assertive. Women doing the same makes them bossy.
4. It shouldn’t be a thing.
Women get crappy razors because apparently their “skin is too delicate” for legit razors, 99.99% of their fashionable clothing lacks decently sized pockets, high heels are a pain to walk in, and they’re taught that they won’t look good without the cosmetics, the latest fashion, that one body shape, etc. etc.
Meanwhile I get good razors, practical stuff to wear, and don’t have to worry about thigh gaps or applying makeup. And no one ever told me I couldn’t wear a t-shirt I bought 3 years ago.
5. Child care is hard work!
I’m a stay-at-home father because I’m taking care of our 2 year old son. My wife’s got a career that’s promising advancement and she works sometimes 12 hour days. I often get the, “Why doesn’t he have a job,” and “He’s a deadbeat dad” routine.
6. It should just be the choice of the person if they do or don’t.
Make up, both ways. Women should wear it, men shouldn’t wear it.
The fact that women can be judged for having acne or any skin condition and not covering it up is insane to me.
7. You don’t want pretty much anything all of the time.
Men do not want sex 24/7, maybe some do, but I imagine most don’t.
And I used to really hate it in my last relationship where if my girlfriend turned down sex it was totally normal and ok and I need to respect her wishes but if I turned down sex it had an incredible emotional effect on her because all men always want sex and if I don’t want sex it must be because I no longer find her attractive.
Now, that relationship wasn’t the most healthy give and take in the world but I still feel like in the back of every woman’s mind that if their boyfriend turns them down they’re probably feeling this even just a little.
8. Sex is healthy and a normal part of life.
Sleeping around/liking sex in general. I feel like this is shifting a bit but to most people it’s still considered gross for a girl to sleep with a lot of people and cool for guys.
9. Attraction does matter, but you don’t have to be cruel about it.
When I turn down a women because I don’t find her attractive I’m shallow, but I get turned down for being bald and it’s “just her preference.”
Girls often have height requirements in their dating profiles. They shamelessly write things like, “If you’re under 6 feet don’t bother.” Can you imagine how they’d react if men started putting weight requirements?
10. That should not be allowed.
When I was a basketball player, journalists, including girls at my school, were allowed in the locker rooms no matter what. They essentially all got to watch us shower and change after every game. No matter how hard you tried to protect your modesty, you were going to be seen naked plenty.
At my same school, reporters were not allowed in the women’s basketball locker room until there was an all-clear that every girl was dressed.
This happens in all men’s sports.
When I complained I was told everything from “it’s just nudity” to “everyone has seen penises before.”
This would never happen to women. It always felt so degrading and humiliating to me.
Here’s some quotes from some of these fine journalists (story continued on the next page…)
“It is true that sportswriters, and even sportswriting interns, have access to players that fans can only dream of. So yes, Ive interviewed future Hall of Famers. And yes, Ive seen them naked…”
Wait, you got to go in the locker room? my friends gasped when I told them how I spent my summer. And then the conspiratorial smile: Did you see?
“I almost had that privilege taken away when one young, particularly handsome player entered the hallway after showering in nothing but his shower shoes. There was an audible gasp, a blush and a muffled giggle, which was quickly replaced by total professionalism as I buried my head in my notebook and hid behind a colleague.”
“Put me in a locker room, I’m not going to lie, I’ll sneak a peek. But a glance to the nether regions is caused by curiosity, nothing more.”
This all straight from sports reporters. They had access to see us naked, then talked about us like this, in papers and websites no less. And there’s never any outrage.
I cannot tell you the amount of times I caught people ogling myself or teammates.
Not to mention, with cell phone cameras now, and everyone using them to record quotes and whatnot, so it’s normal for them to be out, you can’t tell me voyeuristic pictures never get secretly snapped.
11. Just make the decision together!
Why do guys traditionally have to be the one who proposes? I get so nervous just thinking of proposing to anyone. I would prefer if my girlfriend proposed or we at least agreed on getting married together, rather than one springing it on the other.
12. “We’ve still got a long way to go.”
I’m a male flight attendant, and our the entire cabin crew recently just assumed that our female captain was the first officer, and her male co-pilot the one in charge.
They even wear uniforms with stripes to make it clear. It was an eye-opening case of unconscious gender bias.
Also, EVERY time the captain made an announcement over the PA without first identifying herself as the captain, I assumed it was one of the female flight attendants speaking. We’ve still got a long way to go, baby.
13. Why does my dad feel the need to “protect” me and not my brother?
I’m a female in my mid/late 20s and have had a boyfriend for about 5 years. The first 1.5 years of the relationship I still lived at home. If I went to my bf’s for the weekend my dad would lose his mind. We wanted to go overnight camping together? Dad couldn’t fathom it.
Now my younger brother is in his early/mid 20s with a serious gf. He goes to his gf’s for a week at a time and Dad doesn’t care. Gf hangs out in my brother’s room with the door closed? Not fazed. My bf and I now own a house together now I’m still not 100% sure my dad can wrap his mind around us sharing a bedroom. Mom thinks it’s ridiculous and acknowledges the double standard but can’t do much else. *eyeroll*
14. I just want to AT LEAST be able to put my hands in my pockets.
This may not technically be a double standard, but it really annoys me that the pockets in women’s pants are so darn small, you can barely fit a quarter in them. Why do men have these spacious pockets but women don’t??
15. Anyone and everyone can enjoy science.
When I (and other ladies) make a really cool scientific discovery, it’s all “woman scientist” blah blah and talk about how I ‘sacrificed family’ or juggled family…etc etc etc
Why can’t it just be “scientist” and “because they are smart and worked hard?” Like with dudes?
16. Wear what makes you comfortable.
Skirts are comfortable as all heck. Better be an orthodox Scot if you want to wear one of those as a man.
17. Everyone’s got bills to pay. Share the load!
I know so many girls that get offended if guys don’t pay for them on dates or at dinner, even in a group event. My boyfriend and I either go halves or take it in turns buying dinner/movie tickets, etc.
18. It’s a super useful skill.
OK, one thing that bugs me is how women are expected to be great cooks and guys not so much. In fact, my parents discouraged me growing up to learn how to cook until I was a young adult because they told me I needed to be motivated to find a wife to cook for me.
Now that I am older and actually enjoy cooking, I think it is a stupid double standard. If anything, both guys and girls SHOULD both learn how to cook. It is a useful life skill to have. And it is fun.
19. Everyone has feelings.
I don’t like how if guys show feelings and emotions they’re some kind of wuss. On the flip side, women’s opinions or actions are often dismissed because they’re viewed as more emotional, and, therefore, obviously less reliable.
20. Strength does not mean not vulnerable.
The idea that guys don’t need to be taken care of. Kinda hard to explain but I feel this constant pressure that I need to strong. No matter what happens I have to be strong. That weighs on you so much. Sometimes I really need to be able to come home put my head on a lap and just feel like not everything is resting on my shoulders. That I don’t have to be strong for a little bit.
21. “No men, to my knowledge, are spoken that way.”
I am a woman that works in a field and environment that is very male-dominated, particularly at the higher levels. This issue is, if not driving me literally crazy, causing me a fair amount of stress and anxiety.
I’m in a situation that isn’t that unusual (story continued on the next page…).
Continue onto the next page for more!
I’m in a relatively new job and I am finding, more and more, the things that were promised during my recruitment are not materializing (e.g. the title I asked for, the office I was promised, etc). What I am struggling with is that I need to ask for these things in just the right way so as to be assertive enough that people take me seriously, but not so much that I am seen as being “shrill,” difficult, or a complainer. Keep in mind, these are not extras, these are the baseline of what was offered to me.
So far, I am not doing a very good job. I find that, every time I move up a level professionally, the definition of what is acceptable changes or gets narrower. I need to change my tactics each time. And I don’t have too many role models to work with. There is a woman who is senior to me here, who does get a lot of what she needs. However, many people talk behind her back about how difficult she is to work with and how she is “kind of nuts” (no men, to my knowledge, are spoken of that way). I have worked with her for over a decade and she definitely isn’t hard to work with or nuts — at least she’s below average for this place and our field in general. So I have seen how not asking in exactly the right way has isolated her and cost her in other ways — both at that work place and extending to her career overall. I’m trying to walk that line….
Of course, for everyone — man, woman, or other — asking for something assertively enough without coming across as aggressive is a necessary skill to develop in the working world. However, for women (in my experience, first- and second-hand) the range of what is acceptable and effective is so narrow it’s hard to hit that mark.
22. Why can’t we all just wear what makes us comfortable??
As a professional, high heels. Men’s shoes look so much more comfortable. High heels are like medieval torture devices, but women have to wear them in certain work contexts.
23. Respect other people’s decisions.
This happened recently while I was at a bar with my friend. Just at the bar, having a conversation when this guy comes up and starts talking to us and asks if we want to dance. We haven’t seen each other in awhile so I politely say, “Sorry, not interested, thanks. We’re just trying to catch up right now.”
He takes a look at us, a sneering grin crosses his face and he snarls, “Yeah, you two looked stuck-up, I knew it.” What the heck, dude? Just because we don’t want to dance with you, we’re stuck up? So freakin’ entitled.
24. “It sucks.”
I can’t walk down the street without getting leered at or catcalled. Men (usually) can do so without fear. It sucks.
25. “Always on edge.”
Pretty much any time I’m walking anywhere alone, I’m on edge. As a woman, there is a constant fear of being attacked when you’re out alone. I always try and go as quickly from destination to destination, making as little eye contact with people as I go.
What is super frustrating, is when guys say… (story continued on the next page…)
Continue onto the next page for more!
What frustrating is when guys say, “why do you look so pissed off/ why aren’t you smiling?” Well, duh, because I don’t want attention to be brought to myself. I don’t want to be targeted. I’m always on edge.
Also, why do I always have to be “smiling”. I don’t question you as to why the expression on your face isn’t always pure happiness.
26. Just want all of the hugs!
I wish I could be more “physical” with my male friends without being seen as being attracted to them sexually. Emotional support through physical contact is frowned upon between male friends, but is seen as normal with women.
When I’m having a tough day, I want to be cuddled by my pals too!
27. Not everyone wants children.
Women are supposed to love children.
I’m a childfree woman in my thirties. Have nothing against them, I just don’t want my own, and prefer not to baby-sit (although I still do sometimes for friends and family). People still assume that I’ll change my mind, that I should jump at the chance to spend time with children, or that there is something inherently wrong with me.
28. I’m not cold, I just have work to do.
That women in power have to be firm and stoic or they’re considered weak, and motherly and feminine or they’re considered cold. It’s not the case with everyone, but how does someone even strike that balance? I think the two areas are just means for sexists to complain no matter what a woman in power does (again, sexists, not everyone).
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