Drunk grooms, dropped cake, and wedding brawls. Theyve seen it all…
She not only dropped it, but fell face first into it on the floor. First dead silence…then a few giggles….and then her emotional breakdown like I have never seen before. She was completely devastated from both the embarrassment and ruining that special moment. We all eventually assured her that we’re half drunk and don’t care about the cake. The best part was that she easily collected $1000 more in tips than she would have had that not happened.
It started because one of the grooms-men’s girlfriends was being aggressively hit on by the brides cousin, guy wouldn’t take no as an answer and then he apparently grabbed her butt. And then all hell broke out as each side tried to break it up but then just ended up fighting. The best part the mother of the bride kept screaming she was gonna call the mothers of all the guys fighting.
“I give them six months.” Mic drop, leaves.
Groom hasn’t talked to her since.
Probably halfway through the tasting, one of the managers goes out to the courtyard and hears something… the bride is banging the groom’s brother at the side of the building. It’s not exactly a very secretive spot. He asked them to please stop as politely as possible and go back inside, which they did. They go back to the table and as far as I know, the groom didn’t find out (that night anyway) but the girl definitely had to notice the entire staff laughing at her for the rest of the night.
Instead of being apologetic, or just leaving, she threw a tantrum (I didn’t understand what she was talking about, as I didn’t know any of the people) then a small fight broke out, and people were escorted from the hotel, as the bride verbally abused two of the security staff.
(Don’t get married on holidays people! It sucks for your guests and your anniversary is forever shared with a holiday). It’s POURING rain, has been for three days. Louisiana rain, flooding everywhere. Wedding is at a mansion in the country, bride’s childhood home. I get there for set up and there’s a literal lake of water in the front yard, mud everywhere, tents going up all over the property because it’s a mostly outdoor wedding.
So we’re trying to bus in all the grooms family from nearby hotels and it’s taking forever because of the rain and because one of the buses is having problems. Second bus FINALLY arrives and is still acting up. Bus driver parks in the middle of the circle drive that is only one lane, covered now in mud, and that everyone there needs to use to arrive.
I’m working the front making sure everyone gets into the house and I go up to him and I’m like bro you gotta move there’s tons of cars trying to pull in. He’s like my bus is messed up I’m like yes I know but can you literally move 10 feet off the only road in or out of this place and deal with it.
So he starts the bus up and is still just sitting in the lane with all these cars backing up. Sitting. Not moving. Sitting some more. I go up to him and I’m like you need to move NOW what is wrong with you. At that moment the engine goes up in flames. Smoke everywhere. Luckily it’s pouring down rain so at least there’s not a massive vehicle fire right next to this 200 year old house. It’s at this point he FINALLY decides to jump in the bus and move it while it’s on fire. Drives mostly off the circle drive, gets stuck in the mud. So now for the rest of the night wedding guests are arriving and having to drive around a burnt up bus haphazardly parked like 10 feet from the “grand” entrance.
I was still in college and everyone else at the table was about 5 years past their drinking prime. They tried to hang, they got crazy drunk. At the end of the night the bride and groom were going to do a grand exit. I went back to the table to get my jacket my gf asked me to carry one of her friends that was passed out face down on the table. She was about 90lbs soaking wet so I agree.
Make it about half way to the grand exit spot the girl wakes up and starts punching me for all she is worth. I trip the girl and me fly into a table destroying it wrestling style. Turns out the bride and groom are right there queuing up to walk out. I congratulate them, beautiful wedding etc. pick up drunk girl over my shoulder and walk out. The drunk friend spent the ride back to the hotel making out with my lower leg. Good times.
The husband was mortified, but went along with it.
After all, they paid for the wedding, and the band, and the flowers, and they didn’t want all of that to “go to waste”.
Once they had renewed their vows, the bride’s mother invited everyone to the “joint reception.” Throughout the reception, the mother loudly and repeatedly commented on how many gifts the bride and groom had received and how no one had bothered to bring a gift for the mother and husband. Never mind the fact that none of the guests (nor the wedding party, the planners, nor anyone else) knew the brides parents would be exchanging vows.
Towards the end, after a whole night of drinking, the drunken and sobbing mother accused the bride of stealing the mother’s “special day”, called her a whole bunch of mean things in front of her friends and family, then grabbed the wedding cake and left.
The bride and groom had another ceremony a few weeks later. No parents were invited.
We got onto base and headed for the main chapel (there are three or four chapels on base). When we got to the main chapel, it was apparent that there was no wedding going on. Looked at the invitation again. It just said “Post chapel” and gave an address. So obviously, this wasn’t the post chapel that the bride had intended and I whipped out my phone to look up the address. We drove to that part of the base and found the place. It was some sort of administration building, definitely not a chapel.
We were confused, but we found a building with “Chaplain’s office” on the directory so we figured we’d been invited to some sort of civil ceremony. The building was locked. Now thoroughly confused and late at this point.
As we were wondering what we should do, we see an older gentleman in a tuxedo wandering around. He’s pretty clearly in the same boat.
Turns out he’s the groom’s father and he doesn’t have any more idea what’s going on than we do. After a few more minutes, a soldier arrives. He’s the chaplain’s assistant and he’s looking for lost wedding guests (namely the groom’s father). Turns out the bride put down the wrong address and the wrong chapel name on the invitation.
By the time we got to the wedding (which they had delayed because the groom’s dad was missing), the bride was in tears. I felt so bad for her.
They finally started the wedding, and the chaplain gave an awkward sermon about “being clothed in Jesus’ love” and lost his place several times. Finally, as the ceremony was over and the guests began to applaud, a bat fell down out of the ceiling and died.
Craziest wedding I’d ever been to.
Until a bridesmaid came quietly walking down the aisle and pulled him aside to talk to him.
The bride had run off.
Neither one of them has a license, but had to have a wedding out in the woods. They never thought to contact anyone and ask for a ride to their wedding.
Of course they didn’t pay the cell phone bill and it got shut off. Didn’t matter because there was no cell reception where we were anyway.
The conversation went something like this:
Bride: “I can’t marry him, I just don’t love him anymore, I think I’m in love with someone else!”
Him: “What do you mean you’re in love with someone else!? Your wedding is in 5 days!”
Bride: “Well…. I’m in love with you. You just GET me! I’ve never met anyone else like you!”
Him: “…Do you know how much your parents are paying me to get you?!”
She ended up getting married 5 days later and it was never mentioned again.
She tried to play head games with absolutely everyone involved in the planning of the wedding. Frequently had fits. She and I butted heads because she wanted a carpet running straight from the bottom of the stairs to the doors of the chapel. I told her it wasn’t possible (they didn’t line up). She kept on asking me if I was sure, even after I showed her exactly what I meant. She narrowed her eyes and told me she thought I had a problem with the truth.
She was very controlling with the groom as well. I remembered their names and looked them up on Facebook a while back. They’re divorced and he appears to be happily remarried.
The worst was when a bride was so upset that she couldn’t fit all of her bridesmaids on one shuttle back from the reception (they took two vans on a 10 minute trip back to the hotel and it only seats 12) that she tried to physically assault the driver.
He left her on the side of the road when she tried to bite him.
The kicker? When the groom came to pick her up with her parents and when they found her trudging back down the highway and heard her sh-tty attitude they left her there too.
Apparently it was her special year and not just a day. She threw a huge fit that this girl was only getting married to “steal her thunder”… Yes, because no one else can have a life at the same time as you. Her friends date wasn’t even in the same month or season. Hers was in October and her friends was in June…. Brides sometimes don’t think rationally.
Sandra came in to try on gowns. She tried on the large sample dress, had it pinned to see how it would look on her if it was her size. She said this was it, so my mom took her measurements, and figured out what size she needed to order.
My mom told her her dress will be a size 8 based on her measurements; Sandra threw a fit. “That’s impossible! All of my other dresses are size 4! I have been a size 4 since I was 14. I am not an 8! Order me a 4!”
My mom would explain how sizes vary from designer to designer and that, while she may be a 4 normally, with the designer of her dress her measurements are considered an 8, and it’s just a number, and if it’s too big it can be taken-in but a 4 couldn’t be taken-out… Sandra took none of that. Despite all protest, she demanded a 4.
A couple weeks before the wedding her size 4 dress arrived. It wouldn’t zip (duh). Bride had a meltdown. Mom had to apologize and reorder a larger dress at the bridal salon’s expense.
She calls me one day, while i’m away for a debate tournament in university (so i’m a poor student at this point), and lets me know that “since her finace’s brother is getting him his wedding band, wouldn’t be so cute if i brought her HER wedding band?!?!?!” It wasn’t a question – she demanded it.
All of a sudden I’m “her sister”, meaning I guess that I have to do all these things that she’s seen in movies and in magazines. Plan this party, plan another party, help countless hours doing this, buy the dress she wants you to buy,etc. The best is that she let me know that “at least she was letting us choose how we were going to have our hair for the wedding – a lot of people don’t actually let their bridesmaids choose!” Thank god, am I right? So generous!
It was the tip of the iceberg, and it was allll awful. She went back to not talking to me ever after that, then she had a baby, and it was the same thing all over again.
We’ve had TWICE in the last year weddings where it was clear to us that the things happening weren’t because the bride wanted them, but because the brides mothers felt they didn’t have the wedding they wanted so they were making all the big decisions for the bride.
For some reason the newlyweds decided to invite the bride’s son’s father. The dance floor cleared early and everyone was in the photo booth or outside smoking and drinking.
Except the baby daddy and the groom. They’re sitting at a table alone and appear to be having a raucous, laughing conversation. Only, oh no, their faces are getting angry looking. Groom now has his finger in the daddy’s chest, “HE CALLS ME DAD NOW! I’M HIS FATHER!” Groomsmen come running in to hold them both back. Groom flips the table over. Bride is now in tears.
The function supervisor tried to tell him very politely that he couldn’t and he got a it upset about that and started screaming “this is my wedding and if I want to burn this place down I will” cops were called.
We learned this from the women at our table at the reception. We introduced ourselves while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive. They were horrified that we were there – and extremely worried. My husband had NO idea that she had feelings for him. She bee-lined right for our table after the ‘introducing Mr & Mrs’ thing – ignoring her family and leaving her husband standing alone.
She clung to my husband and sobbed – lifting her head to glare at me. She had to be pulled off of him. She repaired herself, then followed us as we tried to leave quietly – her parting shot was to stare at my chest and say, “well I guess I know what I was missing all along!” Her new husband was in shock and my husband was horrified and embarrassed – he was completely clueless and would never have gone to the wedding if he’d know she was obsessed with him. It was bizarre.
Image credit: Shutterstock/Ljupco Smokovski