The whole ‘If we’re both single by X, we’ll get married’ statement is often said in jest, but for some it has a deeper, real meaning.
Below are 18 stories of people who made a marriage pact when they were younger, and what happened!
1. I had a married by 30 pact with a girl in high school. I really loved this girl. We used to pass around notes that were signed “M30” as sort of a little inside joke between us, even when we were seeing other people. We did date for about a year at some point.
She said she FORGOT by the time she was 27 or so, and swears she has no recollection of the whole thing. I was married already and wasn’t trying to “activate” the arrangement at all, but that still pretty much broke my heart.
2. I made a pact like this when I was in high school. I think ours was 30, though. We’re 31 and he’s on his third marriage, so I’m ok with it not working out.
3. My best friend had this deal with a girl if they hit 30.
On his 29th birthday, he started seeing the girl he actually loved, and I started dating the girl he had the deal with.
Over a year later, happy to say things are going well for all 4 of us.
4. Made a deal with a friend that we would get married at 35 if neither of us found anyone else by then. She decided to skip all that stuff after a few months and we’ve been together for almost 7 years now.
5. We both ended up gay. Obviously, we didn’t get married.
6. We were both 18 when we “jokingly” planned to marry if we were both still single at 40.
We barely made it to 25 before getting engaged.
7. Our deal was 28. He was me best friend. At some point in our friendship he slept with one of my friends, (18) I got the idea we obviously were just friends and we kept it at that… I started dating my now husband and he almost immediately moved home.
I found out later from a mutual friend that when I got into a serious relationship it crushed him because he was in love with me. He even offered to come back and take care of me when I ended up pregnant a few years ago. I would probably have married him if he would have told me how he felt. Oh well, such is life.
8. Me and my bestie had the whole “if we are still single by 30” thing going. We made it to 28 and decided to just get married anyway. We met at 11 years old.
Also both of us are female but neither of us are gay. We just decided we’d rather live together as best friends than keep trying to find husbands we like more than each other.
9. The woman I had the deal with is now married to the father of the girl who set me up with the woman who became my wife.
10. We were friends for years (since we were kids), we had a ‘let’s get married by 40’ arrangement, she ended up dating a guy and had a kid with him. I gave up on that idea. Then he cheated, I stopped messing around and told her I loved her, and we’re expecting our daughter within the next few days!
We’re not married yet, but hey we’re not 40 yet either.
11. When my college roommate got married, her little sister and I plotted to get married by 30 to cash in on all the sweet wedding gifts. It became a running joke, with a hint of reality. Like, “ha ha, but maybe?”. When she was 29, we were all back in town for Christmas and she brought her long term boyfriend. Apparently, she was getting mad at him for dating this long with no proposal. So, I stopped by the grocery store and got one of those candy ring pops. I reminded her of our deal, gave her the ring and offered her my services if no other suitors had stepped up yet. A laugh was had by all, but her bf went out the very next day and bought her a real ring and proposed. I’m going to take full credit for them being happily married for 4 years now. And in case you’re worried for me, I met a girl that very weekend that I’ve been dating for almost 3 years. Happy endings for everyone!
12. Back in highschool me and this awesome girl had one for the age of 30. I forgot about it because I got busy travelling and working my career, saw on facebook she got knocked up and looked awesome, then out of nowhere of no contact for a few years afterwards she messages me saying: “Im getting married to blablabla, sorry”. At first I was happy and excited for her thinking nothing of it and why it came out of nowhere for a private message, then later that night after a couple beer I remembered our deal then got sad and had more beer.
Stoked for her though, she has a beautiful family in a nice quiet town. Meanwhile I’m a nomadic contractor who’s soul is destroyed who’ll be forever alone.
13. I had a “if we are still single” by 30 pact. We didn’t make it to thirty, I was 25 when he told me he wanted to be together. 9 years and going very strong.
14. Made this pact with a friend in high school and we’re still friends today. We’ve got 14 years to go until 40, but if we did try to invoke it I could see it going either way really. We’ve tried dating before and that went pretty badly, but a lot changes between 15 and 40, so maybe we wouldn’t be too scared to hold hands if we tried again in a decade.
15. I wonder what happened to my fall back hubby? He must be 40 by now, guessing someone else snapped him up.
16. Probably a bit late but I made a pact for 25, 28, 30, 35, and 55. All different girls. I am currently engaged and getting married in June. To none of them. I guess younger me had this foolproof plan of trying the number game. Turns out, it is much easier to go on dates and actually fall in love with someone.
17. My friend and I, both straight guys, made a pact for 40. “It would be funny. Just a couple of straight guys enjoying tax benefits.”
We’re not quite 30 yet, but our friendship is currently strained due to some actions on his part. Don’t do drugs.
18. May be too late for this, met a girl, she wasn’t interested, we became really good friends and had an agreement for turning like 40, we’d retire to a big house in England.
Time went by, things changed, I just turned 30, and I proposed to her in front of that big house in England, and we get married next month.
19. Not a marriage pact, but me and my best friend who is gay both agreed that if neither of us were in a serious relationship by the age of 30 we’d move in together, have a kid through in vitro, and raise them with whatever partners we end up having down the line.
Currently 24 and it’s still the best bet personally.
20. One of my dearest friends and I made this pact. He has a very serious condition we’re not even sure if he would even live to be 40. But we were very close for a very long time and have a very special bond. We agreed that if he made it to 40 and we were both still single we’d get married.
He turned 30 this year and got married to a really awesome girl and I’m so incredibly proud of him. Me? Single for three years now. At least he’s doing good.
21. My ex boyfriend and I broke up (more like parted ways). We said if we were both single when we were 40 then we’d meet at this particular place on our birthday (we share the same date). I’m still in my 20s now but we have both moved on and both in love with other people. Even if I ended up single on my 40th I don’t think I could go back. I will be too much changed.
But it was comforting to agree to it at the time when it felt my heart was broken. I wish him all the best.
22. My best friend made this pact with me and I was like “I will probably be in a relationship by then, but ok i guess…”. At first the age she mentioned was 33, a few have passed and it stands on 30. A month or two pass and it goes to 28 (this point in time is around 2 months ago).
Lately she started dropping heavier and heavier hints that she might be interested in some form of sexual relationship, which is something that we kinda made an agreement that doesn’t happen between us currently. Reason being that both of us are bad at separating sex and emotions. Honestly it kind of worries me how much that progressed within the span of around 3-4 months..
23. Did it, and it lasted 4 years. We had both changed too much.
That’s all I got to say about that.
24. I had a pact with a girl, but she got married last year. I was not invited to the wedding. I don’t think anyone follows through on them.
25. My best friend (lesbian) and me (gay) made that deal. We picked 36, because I know someone will have married her by 40.
I don’t know if it will happen, but I know I’ll be happy if it does. We might not be sexually attracted to each other but we’re soulmates. That I know.
26. Made an “if we’re single by 30 pact” but she stopped talking to me after I banged her best friend when we were 25. Whoops.
27. I crushed on a girl since I met her at 15. Never once told her how I felt – junior high thru high school. Went off to different colleges. I always kept in touch throughout the years off and on. We were sort of friends. I’d maybe email her once or twice every couple years. She finally got on facebook around age 35 and we got to talking. Both sort of single with pathetic dating lives at the time, so we joked around about getting married if we were both single by age 40. Never thought it was serious. We lived in different states. Time went on and the keeping in touch fizzled.
I got deployment orders to an undisclosed location in the Middle East and went back to my small home town to visit my mom before I left. I got super drunk with one of my old high school buddies. He had her number so I blew up her phone, texting all my feelings I’ve had for like 20 years. I was black out drunk and vaguely remember doing it. The next morning I embarrassingly read everything I wrote. At first, she was very confused thinking it was the other guy writing all this to her. He was married, btw.
She got a hold of me and we chatted. I called her. Both still single. We texted and called as much as possible during my deployment. She’d send me care packages. Her support really got me through a rough deployment. When I returned stateside she was there to greet me. We had our first kiss at the airport. It was so exciting, the butterflies. We spent 10 awesome days together. Then I flew back with her and spent the rest of my leave with her. I proposed 3 months later, she said yes. I moved cross country and we got married.
Sounds like something out of a romantic movie, huh?
We currently have a 1 year old 17 month old and I have to admit our marriage is pretty rocky. A by product of rushing a marriage, child and 10 other life changing events in such a short time span without really getting to know each other and setting and agreeing on life expectations up front. But I’m hopeful with either outcome – stay married or divorce.
That’s my story.
28. At 18, we promised that if we were still single at 30, we would marry each other. We really were those best friends.
At 19, he had become a heroin addict and he would come and go from my life, hiding from me when he was using because he was ashamed and didn’t want me to know. Of course I knew. I was patient, I was encouraging, and I missed him when he was flaky.
At 20, he moved to another state to get clean and start fresh. After a few months, he made a trip back to our hometown to pick up more of his stuff from his parents’ house. I was thrilled that he was in town. He was supposed to be “on his way” to meet me for dinner so we could catch up. He never showed. He had that tendency to be flaky, so I was disappointed, but I just let it go. I texted him to just call me when he had time to meet for coffee or something, and gave up.
The next evening, I got a frantic phone call from his sister asking if he was with me – no one could find him, he wasn’t answering his phone. His family had looked up his phone records and learned I was the last person he had spoken to. She was hoping his phone had died and he had crashed at my apartment. He hadn’t.
We searched for 3 days. I begged everyone I knew to look for him. Many of our friends shrugged it off as him being his usual flaky self.
At the end of the 3rd day, we found him.
He had died of a heroin overdose. All alone, in his car, in an empty parking lot.
My heart broke. I cried for days on end trying to wrap my mind around it. One second you’re planning to grab dinner with someone, and the next you’re sitting at their funeral in a complete haze, trying not to think about your best friend being cremated because his body was too far ruined by being crumpled in a car in the August heat to salvage for an open casket viewing.
After the funeral, his other sister called me. She wanted to tell me thank you for being a good friend, and for never enabling his drug abuse like many of his other “friends” did. I’ll never forget her saying, “he was totally in love with you. After he had been clean for a few weeks, he told me that once he was better he was going to go home and ask you out on a real date. I asked why he hadn’t just done that already, and he said it was because he wasn’t good enough for you yet, and that you deserved a whole person, not a broken one.”
I’m a bit older and married now, but I don’t make “if in the future…” plans or promises anymore. If I want something, I try to make it happen. If I dream of something, I start working toward it today. Because silly teenage us didn’t even bother to consider the reality – you may never turn 30.
29. So this happened when I was 28. I met a girl at work and one day I left for work early and bought a coffee for Jess for when she arrived at work. She thought it was a bit odd at first, but it was enough so that I was able to start conversations with her. I asked her out on a date, she accepted and it went really well. Over the few weeks we had been on 3 dates or so, and she had stayed at mine on one occasion.
We got talking and she said something along the lines of ‘Did you ever think you’d be further along in life by this age?’ Admittedly I was a little offended by this, but it turns out she was talking more about herself than me. She admitted she was sad that she’d never really been in a long term relationship, and expected life to have played out a little differently. We kept chatting and I jokingly said ‘yeah, I was hoping to be married by the time I was thirty’. She laughed and said that if I wasn’t married by the time I was 30, then she’d marry me. ‘I promise’ she said. I guess it was kind of cute.
After a few weeks of occasionally meeting up and chatting, Jess told me that she’d be moving departments at my work. I didn’t really think much of it at first, but not being able to see her every morning started to take it’s toll. Eventually, for some reason, the relationship sort of fizzled out, and that was the end of things with Jess.
30. After a lot of talking, we agreed that we would at least try to conceive together if she reached 35 with no partner. We went so far as to research the laws for me signing off all rights and her not to be able to back-door me for support and whatnot – in both of our respective places and it seemed like it would be possible for me to basically be a donor with no ties. We continued to casually joke about it from time to time, but suddenly she’d 34 and it’s becoming more of a reality.
I had a ton of vacation time left at work and some extra cash on hand. I decided to go visit for a week because why-the-hell-not, right? There was a heavy implication that we’d “give it a practice run” before her birthday in 8 months. Things were looking bleak for her. She was 34, no relationship, job was going to crap, and was living in a place she mainly hated.
She picks me up from the airport and the entire ride home she’s telling me about this guy who she just met and how he’s wonderful. I’m happy to hear it until I meet him the next day. He just seems… Bland. Boring. Not right. He was kind of cold and not very affectionate towards her. Wouldn’t really hold her hand… warning signs.
Anyways, me and my friend had some long talks and we never ended up crossing any friendship lines. It just wasn’t right. I head home and within a few weeks they are dating. Turns out he had a lot of reservations as he felt like she wanted to have a fling with me before she got into anything, and she kind of had to come clean about her and I’s plan. He was trying to respect her and, oddly me. It was… interesting.
So, 6 months later they are engaged. Married fairly quick, and she was pregnant within a few months into her 35th year. She had a beautiful baby girl, she found a great new job, and they just bought a house in the suburbs together. They look like they are happier than ever and I couldn’t be happier for them.
As for me, I met an absolutely wonderful woman 1.5 years ago and we’re going strong. I still keep in contact with that woman, albeit a lot less than before, and we’re both on great life paths.