We all know that getting up in the morning, or doing the dishes, can be a drag. Some of these students found ingenious ways to make life a little easier.
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Shot 10 Nerf darts at my light switch, from bed. Missed all of them and slept with the lights on.
Used to have one of those ‘clap on, clap off’ lights in my room. I hated clapping so I just made an audio recording of me clapping and mapped it to one of the programmable keys on my keyboard.
I always heat things in the microwave for 1:11 or 2:22 because I’m too lazy to move my fingers to the 0 before I hit start.
I have a dog and a cat, and I HATE sleeping with the door open. Sometimes the dog wants to sleep in the bedroom, sometimes the dog wants to sleep outside the bedroom. But he never decides until I’m comfy in bed. Solution? Keep a laser pointer on my nightstand. Once the dog decides where he’s sleeping, I’ll shine the laser pointer on the door so that my cat paws it closed. It has now become a routine that my cat will wait by the door for the laser before laying down.
Spent a half hour searching for a torrent to download a textbook that I had left in another room.
Slept on the floor for a year instead of putting together my assembly bed.
I didn’t want to get up to get scissors to open a package I had, so I grabbed the cat and used his claws. It was soft plastic and the cat was indifferent.
Eating my food directly from the pot to eliminate dishes. I hate washing dishes.
In college, we hooked up those hamster water bottles to our headboards with a wire so that we could drink from them when hungover. It enabled us to just open our mouth instead of having to move any other part of our body.
We didn’t get much water out of it.
I was in a class called OJT (on-the-job training) in high-school. Everyday the last 25% of school was dedicated to me being able to leave class to go to “work”. We were given grades by our employers which would then turn into grades for the class.
As a high-school senior I convinced the teacher that oversaw this program that because I had my own corporation that I used to sell stuff on ebay I should be able to be my own boss. She agreed.
I failed that class because I didn’t bother to fill-out the paperwork to give myself a grade.
Eating a microwavable meal in bed, I got it all over. I then took off my sock to use as a napkin.
I know a guy who accidentally went on a raw vegan diet because he just couldn’t be bothered cooking. Just spent half the year munching on carrots and apples like a spoilt pony.
A buddy of mine was laying in bed one morning. Picked his nose and had no where to put it – put it back in his nose.
Attached my dog’s leash to my RC monster truck car and walked her around the cul-de-sac with it… all from the comfort of my living room. dont judge
Drove to the gym. When I got there the escalators were broken. Figured I’d grab a doughnut and try again next month.
I was laying in bed with the light on and wanted to go to sleep with it off. I called my house from my cell phone and asked for myself in a disguised voice. when my mom came in to bring me the phone I asked her to turn the light out when she left. Hung up both phones and went to sleep.
Had to write a paper on Existentialism. Had to write a paper on Billy Budd. Wrote one paper on the existentialist aspects of Billy Budd and turned copies in for each course.
When I was in college I had a one cup coffee maker. I set it on my nightstand next to my bed. The night before I would add my coffee grounds, water in the reservoir and put my mug under the spout. My alarm would go off in the morning, I would sit up hit the on button for my coffee and then go back to sleep so I could wake up next to hot coffee like I was in a Folgers commercial.
I use my blender often for shakes, so to clean it, I squeeze in dish soap, and turn it on. Then rinse. To me it just makes sense but my ex called me a genius for that one.
In kindergarten, we had an assignment to take little shreds of construction paper, put glue on them and stick them to a larger piece of construction paper to make a picture. Half out of laziness and half out of pure genius, I drew the picture with the glue and then dumped the bowl of paper shreds on top. After turning the paper over and shaking off the excess shreds, I had my completed picture in seconds. I got in trouble and had to miss recess that day. It’s my only memory from kindergarten and it still bugs me to this day. I think that is our education system in a microcosm. Teachers, please don’t stifle your kids’ ingenuity.
I was watching Breaking Bad on my computer but I wanted a glass of juice. So I opened my router settings on my laptop to disable my mom’s laptop’s MAC address on the network so the Internet wouldn’t work for her, so she would come to my room to ask what the heck, and I’d ask her to get me a glass of juice and that it’s already fixed.
I’m still ashamed of myself.
I signed up for a free trial of Amazon Prime so I could get free 2-day shipping on an order of new underwear, all because I didn’t want to leave the house or do laundry that week.
I quit smoking one year ago because I was too lazy to get up and buy new ones one weekend. Went better than expected though!
I was too lazy to make coffee this morning, so I put diet coke in a coffee mug and heated it up in the microwave. 3/10 would not recommend.
When my wife is out of town, I only eat canned food, directly out of the can, over the kitchen sink. No cooking, no dishes. It’s absolutely disgusting, but I’m just too lazy to make a meal for just me.
One time I was choking on a peanut butter sandwich. I didn’t even try to cough it up. I just thought, “Well, this is how I die.”
I was on my way home from school, I had to walk 20 minutes from the subway and it was pouring rain. Just outside the subway is a pizza place which I know do home deliveries by car. I went in, told them that I wanted a pizza delivered to my home address and since I’m already here, why not deliver me home as well?
The owner told me that they only deliver food and not people. But after some discussion, both me and the pizza arrived dry and safe.
Worked nights/weekends for a big company. I was the only guy with a desk job that worked after 5pm, the rest were manual labor types. I wrote a 3000+ line bash script over the course of years that automated my job… For the last 18-24 months I worked there, I literally would clock in, watch movies, bbq, eat food, nap, then clock out.
My band published an EP. I wanted to have a listen to it but instead of getting up and crossing the room to get my copy of the CD, I paid to download it to my phone from iTunes.
I have a nike fuelband, the one that records your movement and translates it into ‘fuel’ points. Anyway, the nike twitter account held a competition where the person who racked up the most points each day for five days won a big prize. Looking at some of the winner from previous days, they were winning with scores from 10k-15k points, my personal best was only about 4k.
Next day, I decided to go for it… by cheating. I put my fuelband into a ball of socks and put it in my washing machine and set it to a spin cycle (no water), then I went and watched some TV with my housemate. I kept going back to put it on another spin cycle every few ad breaks.
In the end I got the most points that day and I won 4 tickets to go see Manchester United vs. Manchester City in April, a signed Manchester United Shirt, and 4 more Nike Fuelbands which are ‘meant to be for my friends’.
Made appointments to show a car I was selling with two different buyers for the same date and time. They effectively ended up bidding against each other and I sold it for much more than I expected.
Started brushing my teeth in the shower. Saves a bunch of time in the morning.
I was trying to find a parking spot at the mall around Christmas time. I turned down an aisle where a car was just stopped in the center waiting until someone showed up to leave. I couldn’t go around him so I waited behind him. I noticed someone heading back to their car about to come down our aisle. The car in front of me hadn’t noticed him yet. I had my wife get out the car and start walking towards the end of the aisle as if she was going back to her car. The car in front of me took the bait and followed her to the end of the aisle, while I took the actual spot that just recently opened.
For a mock English Literature exam I wrote only wrote an intro, plus the first and second paragraphs in marvelous detail. I numbered the two pages I had written “1 of 6” and “2 of 6” respectively. I never wrote the other pages and simply handed in my 2 pages. The teachers blamed one another for losing the bulk of my exam paper.
Bought two dishwashers – one for dirty, one for clean. I never put away dishes again, and had the cabinets taken out and replaced by art!