Some rules at work just don’t need to be said. Like, “don’t climb into the ceiling”. Or, “don’t pee on your car while talking to your boss”. Sounds fake, right? Wrong – you won’t believe what some employees do at work!
Check out the source link at the end of the article if you’d like to read more.
HR hired an employee to work on the mine I manage. He showed up 45 minutes late wearing shorts and crocs. I proceeded to fire him on the spot. Got a framed letter from corporate jokingly congratulating me for having the shortest tenured employee in company history.
I manage a small weld shop. Generally, I don’t care about less than clean background checks or pot, as long as you come into work every day and get stuff done. Finding reliable welders is difficult, so a lot of stuff flies. This sometimes leads to weird employees. This one guy we hired stopped showing up. After like 3 days, he walks in the door. He’s bright red from being sunburnt to crap, and his clothes are torn to shreds. Dude was drinking on a little aluminum boat and somehow got lost at sea. He looked like Tom Hanks from Castaway! He didn’t have cell phone reception, so he wasn’t able to call me. He did take a bunch of pictures over the few days he was lost at sea, though. Including one where he was being rescued by the coast guard. I gave him the rest of the week off. Coast guard took him to the hospital, he checked himself out, and immediately came into work. Didn’t even go home and shower. Odd dude.
I once fired a guy and he tried to go back to work. His crush was on the clock in room when I had to tell him to leave again. He cried on my shoulder as I walked him out of the building. Not because I fired him but because I told him to leave in front of his crush.
Had a see through water bottle that was filled with vodka. He started the day off fine but was legless by lunch. Drove him home (40mins each way) because he couldn’t afford a cab. Talked the owner out of firing him and instead we helped him get into a program. That was 4 years ago… he’s the production manager now. Model employee now in fact.
Guy that worked for me was getting out of his car one morning and saw one of the other managers in the company, so started talking to him. In the middle of the conversation he whipped his penis out and started peeing on the side of his car. He was 37 years old, sober and it was 8 in the morning. This was for a corporate job.
I was a supervisor at a bulk food store. Had a staff member who was responsible for sweeping the floors. He would regularly snack on what he swept up.
Back in the retail book industry in ages past I had this employee…
He would take a ‘bathroom break’ anytime an employee got called into the office.
Why? Well, because he had discovered (somehow) that if you went to the men’s room and stood on the toilet and lifted one of the ceiling tiles, you could sort of make out conversations in the manager’s office that was adjacent.
He also discovered during one of his frequent smoke breaks that there was an access hallway for grounds maintenance (this was in a shopping mall of sorts) that also had a ladder that went to the roof. He’d occasionally vanish and basically go sit on the roof. If no one could find him, he couldn’t get in trouble, he figured.
A girl in a non-clinical pediatric hospital job. She was like 19/20 and kind of weird. Apparently she had a crush on me but I brushed it off because she was weird and obviously that was unprofessional. I knew she came from a relatively messed up home, but she was fairly normal outside of being goofy and awkward. One day she got caught giving a patient oral sex in his room and my first thought was “OH MY GOD, this is a pediatric hospital” but luckily for her the patient was 18 (there are some kids with congenital disorders who see specialists all their life and aren’t just suddenly dropped on their 18th birthday– they sort of slowly transition and he was one of them.)
That was unfortunately the beginning of the end for her as life became a trainwreck afterward. She soon got pregnant by someone else, and had a severely autistic child. She is constantly posting on Facebook and it’s the saddest thing ever. Like, “Anyone want to have a play date with ___ and I?” 0 comments or likes. Then randomly she’ll just have massive breakdowns about how hard it is to have a severely autistic child who can barely walk (her kid is 4-5?) and how she has no friends or anything. It’s horribly sad.
In the navy we had a broken accommodation ladder(it’s a stairway attached to the ship for embarkation and debarkation that isn’t always used if there is a brow on the pier) it was due for inspection and rather than fail the inspection the guys just unbolted it and let it fall overboard.
Was cashier manager at big box store. There was a useless kid that finally stopped showing up. A few days go by, and I see him walk in, so I assume he’s going to come up front and we can do the whole formal exit process since he missed shifts. He never comes up front, nobody has heard from him.
So a few weeks go by and we just terminated him. I go back to the lunchroom one day, and useless kid is sitting there. I ask what he’s doing and he says he’s on break. I’m like lol no you stopped showing up weeks ago and were terminated. He leaves to go “back to work”.
I confirmed with all managers he was fired, not working in another part of the store. He shows up in the lunchroom again a few weeks later.
Turned out he didn’t want to tell his mom he doesn’t want to work. He kept letting her drop him off, he’d hang in the lunchroom for a bit because his mom apparently is friendly with another employee, so this way it looks like he still has the job to his mom.
I was doing a weekly call monitor on one of my better employees and found he was doing an Indian accent. I was a bit surprised so I went back and listened to 5+ calls of his from that week and found he was doing different impressions for almost every call. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Micky Mouse, Apu from the Simpsons, a pretty solid Christopher Walken and a few others.
I worked with an older diabetic lady at Taco Bell. She would chug regular soda so she would have a diabetic reaction and then be sent home. Pretty sure she was actually trying to lose her feet to diabetic complications so she could collect disability checks.
The EMTs all knew her by name.
We noticed that she was falling asleep a lot a work so that got all of our attention. She usually took ten minute naps through the day, which isn’t a big deal because you can have breaks, but our alarms went up. One of the employees heard a crinkling beer can in the bathroom one day. Saw her come out the bathroom and checked the trash cans 10 minutes later. Beer confirmed. Also some weird blood spots on paper towels too.
We searched her belongings and found several other beer cans and a funnel. Noticed that she didn’t have any alcohol on her breath.
We realized she was butt chugging the Miller High Life to get drunk at work.
Quite a few years ago I got my career started working in the family business (Contractors in Los Angeles). The family had two offices one ran by me and the other ran by a dear family friend for 30 plus years.
She left the company to retire and about a year later I ended up moving on. I was visiting my mom in Vegas one weekend and I got a call from my cousin who now ran the business asking if I had been using the company’s bank account in Vegas to withdraw cash from ATMs. I wasn’t, but guess who was? That family friend who had retired, she was also visiting my mom and we were all gambling at the casinos.
My uncle the owner of everything, neglected to remove her from the company account and over the last two years she had secretly embezzled close to 50k in cash. She had created a very elaborate web of secret company accounts over the years that moved small amounts of money, it was pretty discrete and the company’s bookkeeping wasn’t really the best so it went largely unnoticed.
In the end, when the investigated had finished, she had snaked at least 250k or more over a 15 year period and is now serving time. This person was a very close friend who we would never in a million years have suspected of theft…sometimes it’s who you least expect.
Went out for smoke breaks like 5x a day, eventually got to a point where he couldn’t wait to get outside and would light up in the elevator to get a head start.
2 days after that mishap he took his lunch break and came back very drunk. I think he worked a grand total of 7 days hired-to-fired.
I had an employee call a French woman a frog and then start ribbiting. That was kinda awkward.
We had a guy that would vanish in the middle of the day for roughly 3-4 hours, then return at the end of the day. Come to find out he would go home during that time, play with his dogs, smoke and then come back to work. When we had to sit him down and explain he couldn’t just leave, he totally flipped out and told us all to “go screw ourselves and to freaking fire him”. He got a warning, and still works here, and HR still does nothing when he disappears.
Took a temp job leading the Santa’s Village at Bass Pro while waiting on my contract to start at my career job. The people you hire are usually…interesting. One girl on her first shift was on her phone as I walked back to the department. I wasn’t in uniform yet but told her, “You aren’t supposed to be on your phone on shift.” She screams, “Who the HECK ARE YOU?” I walked away, clocked in, wrote her up, and came back to her with write up.
She turned out to be one of the better employees.
I had an employee call and tell me her mother died. Well, I got an anonymous phone call from someone telling me she was lying so I called the number I had on file to send my regards and I get an address to send flowers. In the meantime the office had collected an envelope of money to help with the costs of the funeral and missing work. When I called, the mother answered and was shocked to find out her daughter used her death as an excuse to go to Vegas for the weekend. When she returned I help a big meeting with everyone in the office and presented her with the envelope of money and flowers, she took it and faked cried. I called her into my office to reveal that I knew and fired her and took the envelope back. She said she “don’t give a crap” and left.
Used to work with this girl that would watch porn as she was operating her machine. She’d prop her phone up on the control board and just watch as if it was a sitcom or something.
Co-workers went to her supervisor to let him know and he had to have a sit-down with her. She was oblivious to the fact that watching shows on your phone while you work was prohibited, let alone porn.
Company Hired a Contractor to take on some database development.
The guy was hired as “Senior Database Engineer: Contract to hire”. He was 53 (so he’s had experience).
He proceeded to do SO BAD on a project that we had to ask forgiveness from a client, refund all their support hours, and have our JUNIOR developer (who was later promoted due to good work) redo the contractor’s 2 month project. It took the Junior dev 1 week (35 hours).
3/5 members of my team were caught sleeping multiple times, twice in front of clients. The other 2 team members actually took pictures. They knew they were in the wrong but kept it up anyway.
I finally got the pictures, showed them to my boss, he called a meeting. In said meeting, the three of them argued that “their privacy was invaded” and “who took the pictures” and “this is unacceptable.”
I simply said, “you’re sleeping on the job, and we are giving you a warning.“
They do good work, and I didn’t want them to lose their jobs over a really stupid mistake. To today, those 3 guys feel like they were outed and snitched on.
I was the evening manager of a grocery store while going through college. I had one employee that had a hard time doing what he was asked to do. Anyways, without getting into to much detail, he asked to go home early one night, I said he could go home after he finished facing the soda aisle (easiest aisle to face).
He got angry. He took his box cutter, started at one end of the aisle, and ran down the soda aisle cutting all the 2-liter bottles on the shelf. Then he walked out of the store.
I wasn’t even mad. It was funny to watch, I got to fire a bad employee, and I got a little bit of overtime pay for cleaning up the mess.
Had an employee go for a drug test (mandatory for all drivers with a CDL). He used his 10 year old sons urine and warmed it up on the defroster in his car on the way to the test center. The center called and told us they were surprised he was alive. His urine was ~130 deg.
Needles to say he wasn’t employed much longer.
Used to work for a MSP, they had an office with a big tile missing in the ceiling.
Apparently they had this accountant who was working late one night, next day, everyone comes into the office and they find said ceiling hole. Turns out, the accountant heard God calling her from the ceiling, she proceeded to climb up her desk, into the ceiling, and managed to get into one of the offices next door.
I have so many stories about this dude, me and my former boss interviewed him for a position in IT and I got a really weird vibe but my boss was really impressed by his cv (lots of stuff like “cisco certification course teacher”) and I was about to quit so I didn’t really put up a fight about it and he was hired.
Day 2: He brought in a three feet long rc helicopter and put it in his office.
Day 3: He was told to order a laptop for himself (part of the job was ordering it stuff) and bought the most expensive computer he could find, im talking titanium and a 10k$ price tag.
Day 4: He ordered an office chair in leather with built in massage stuff.
Day 5: BIG argument with my boss and he was told he couldn’t do anything without me approving it first.
Day 8: He told me he wanted to apply for public ip’s for every single piece of equipment at all the company offices (several thousand ip’s) because NAT sucked. Turns out he didnt know what it was (cisco teacher remember)
Day 9: He changed the domain admin password to a password some dudes at a irc channel had told him was the most secure password in the world.
Around day 15: He told me he needed time off cause his girlfriend had left him for his rc heli instructor and he was scared she would take stuff from their apartment.
There is so much more, he was fired a few weeks after I left. Last I heard he was selling vpn services to people using his own home broadband connection.
This guy always tried to hide at work to avoid working.
One day I was looking for him and I stepped into the bathroom. I notice a shoe print on the back of the toilet, and I look up and one of the ceiling tiles is pushed a little to the side.
I climb up there, and this dude is hiding in the ceiling.
I was a Valet Captain at an expensive restaurant with the parking lot two blocks away and one of the valets I was supervising “took a wrong turn” in a customer’s 2016 Audi Rs7 and ended up getting pulled over & arrested for going 110 in a 70 on the interstate.