From realizing that the human body is a fragile thing, to coming to the conclusion that life is all about acceptance, people share what has become clear to them as they’ve gotten older.
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
If you can learn to come to terms with who you are and be happy with that then everything becomes easier. Basically, stop beating yourself up.
In the (probably misquoted) words of Homer Simpson “don’t keep blaming yourself, blame yourself once and move on.
You still feel young on the inside. You look at people the same age as yourself and think ‘WOW! they look old’ and then realize you are the same age!
The human body is a lot more fragile than it seemed when I was a kid. I shudder at the thought of how close some childhood pranks, games, and ‘fun’ activities really went to permanently injuring myself, others, or something even worse.
It’s shockingly worrying how much of the population are so far from being self aware of their actions and the repercussions that follow.
An astonishing amount of people will try to spend their lives coasting on the potential they had as kids/teenagers/young adults.
‘Potential’ is toxic, once you get past a certain point. It lets you forgive yourself for not actually turning up and putting the hard yards in, because you know you could, so why actually bother? That’s why novels go unwritten and canvases remain blank.
People who talk more and have more confidence (regardless of ability) will always do better in their careers than people who are actually really good at their job.
Nobody pays as much attention to what you are doing or how you look as you seem to think. Look kinda bloated today? Nobody cares. Forgot something in your car and has to turn around in the parking lot? Literally, nobody cares!
You really need to be doing the things that make you happy.
I’ve been seeking jobs my whole life for the sole purpose of surviving. The older I get, the more I realize I need to be chasing and honoring the things that make me happy. I always thought there would be other time for me to do the things that make me happy but, that time is now. I’ve been waiting for a time that, it turns out, has always been now.
I’m really not very old, but I have been younger than I am now, and something I wish I hadn’t done was inadvertently train myself to be a very low effort, poor work ethic sort of person when I was a kid. I blew a lot of opportunities by putting the minimum amount of effort necessary to get everyone off my back, and now I legitimately have a hard time doing anything I don’t want to do.
On a systemic level.
Addictive personality, poor willpower, and a slacker’s attitude exacerbated by depressive spells that eat up a large portion of the free time I have.
There is absolutely no point in wasting time in a bad relationship. If it’s sliding inexorably downhill, stop trying to grip with your fingertips and let it smash. Wasted so much time on girls who were awful instead of learning to love myself and wading knee-deep in plunge.
People will believe anything. Rumors are easy to spread because people don’t think for themselves and will not often fact check.
Consumerism = generalized discontent. This affects EVERYONE. The best way to cheat the system is to learn how to be content with what you have. It is a rare, subversive gift, but if you find it, you’ll be happy.
Taste in art/music/design/food etc… started to become a whole lot less important to me. I used to say that I couldn’t date a person who had bad taste in music. You know what? That’s so self-limiting that you’re just doing yourself a disservice. Now I’m married to an immigrant and most of the music she loves I’ve never even heard before! So who am I to judge?
In the end, it’s all the seemingly boring stuff that tends to rise to the top. Kindness, love, honesty, commitment… When I’ve been burned hard by people enough times, character starts to become increasingly more important in how I choose the people I want to surround myself with.
If you find someone you care about, do let them know.
There are not so many people in that world with whom you’ll create a real connection. Do not lose them. Whatever is your method to let them know, please do it, make sure they understand you care about them.
That I am more like my parents everyday… Mannerisms, likes, dislikes, good and bad stuff. Habits are different and I am still me but if I was watching myself work and have fun, I would probably be more shocked how similar we are.
Girl doesn’t like you, accept it. Guy is no longer a true friend, accept it. People can be jerks, accept it. You’re sick, accept it. You lost a promotion or job, accept it.
It’s all about accepting reality as how it plays out. Do the best you can in life, love those luckily enough to be in your life and accept the ones that no longer are. At the end of the day you’re wasting energy on negative things you have no control over in most instances, so stop fighting them, as it’s wasted energy. Accept it, move on, and then go in a direction of creating positive steps and thoughts that you can actually control.
Respect is earned, not mandatory, for people that are older than you. You do not get a free pass to be a jerk because you have lived longer.
This is coming from a person who comes from the south, where we are taught, as children, to say “ma’am” or “sir” to literally anyone above the age of 18.
All people are broken. We put labels on everything. Humans have three faces. The face the public sees, the face friends and family sees, and the face only the person itself sees, the private face. Growing up in a world where the only face you see is every once public face, you start to compare everyones public face to your private face. Appearances. You think that you are the only one thats broken. But we are all broken. We all are afraid of what other might think of us, but everyone is selfish, we are all thinking the same thought. Its not until presence of others that we start to judge others, humans are afraid to not fit in, so in groups we adapt. Growing up, people are so afraid of what others might think of them that we forget to be ourself.
People are basically winging it. When I was young I thought everyone older KNEW what they were doing …. now I just see that everyone’s trying to “wing it.
I used to think everyone older than me had more experience and brains.
To some extent it was true; they had the experience, but lacked the brains.
People are born and raised in different circumstances and get different experiences, which in itself says that not everyone who is older has the experience you need, or any good ones thereof.
I now listen to people who actually have acomplished something with the experience they accumulated, and know how to use it. Instead of listening to the people who have apparently experienced the entire world, but have worked in a supermarket in the same town for twenty years.
1) Time appears to move faster the older you get. 6 months when you’re a little kid is a long time. At age 30, it flies by…
2) The general public floats through life.
3) Most professionals are totally just winging it. I have met a lot of doctors who should not be doctors.
4) Some people are just evil and enjoy doing bad things.
5) Girls are just as horny as guys are. They’re just less obnoxious about it.
Most of the professional world is very unorganized and totally unproductive. We all go into the work force under prepared and most of our careers we’re just winging it.
That I most likely won’t become an extraordinarily successful person. I won’t leave a mark on this world. I won’t be remembered for any particularly impressive achievements, in fact I’ll most likely spend my entire life as an underachiever.
Seems obvious, but I grew with the illusion that I could become anything, achieve anything. Turns out I’m not that smart or amazing, and that achieving big things takes a fuckton of dedication and effort, sprinkled with talent.
When I was younger (particularly at school) I would go to great lengths to appear “normal” and not to stand out from the crowd. This is what I assumed I needed to do to be popular, even though I never really got close.
Now I wish I hadn’t bothered. From college age onwards, I’ve embraced the fact that I’m a fucking oddball and have some awesome life experiences (and friends) as a result. Most of the “popular” kids back in school lead very ordinary, unremarkable lives from what I’ve seen. I’d be surprised if most of them have even left our home town, almost 20 years later.
Basically, stop trying to please people who will never be pleased.
In real life, most issues facing society are not clear-cut black-and-white right-or-wrong issues. Yet way too many people choose a side and from that point on are vehemently sure they’re right and anyone opposing them is obviously stupid and incapable of simple logic. There’s nothing wrong with forming an opinion. But there is a lot wrong with not recognizing the validity behind someone else’s opinion.
Talking to my 13 year old cousin scares me. Half the time I don’t fully understand what she’s saying and the way she behaves is a mirror into my past that I don’t want to look into. This was the Christmas I looked at my family and just felt so grateful that they let me silently go through my teenage nonsense without making fun of me to my face. Thank you family. I get it now.
I used to think I would be able to play video games forever and school wouldn’t ever take overhand. Here I am at uni with finals every second month, and barely time to play any games with my old pals from high school as I’m juggling three jobs to stay anywhere near financially stable. Still subbed on wow on my tenth year, though I rarely have time to play more than once or twice a week.
No one cares about you. Not like family and very close friends, but for the other 99.99% of the world, you are a statistic. Kind of hard to come to grips with, but it feels a lot better once you stop being the main character of your world and realize we’re all in this together. As in realize everyone else is going through similar stuff, so don’t expect some special treatment for your problems.
Just how short my life actually is. I’m 36 and even if I live to see 100, it’s only 64 years from now. The existential horror of my short life compared with the universe is becoming more and more apparent by the day. Watching the sun set on a glorious New England summer day on the coast of Maine was existentially humbling. Whether I or anyone else was there to see it, that day would have been beautiful regardless. My time here is so phenomenally short, I had better see what I’m looking at.
Success in your career is 40% connections, 40% luck, and 20% skill/being a good worker. I have seen the worst people get promoted because they know someone, and super hard-workers not because they “slighted” someone in a higher position one time.
I’m 48, and what’s become clear to me is: If you aren’t happy, there’s no point.
Did you get a great job? Do you have a hot girlfriend? Are you making tons of cash? Do you have a great body and are you very attractive? Maybe you just aspire to these things?
Those things in themselves won’t make you happy. The world is full of miserable people who “have everything.”
Figure out what makes you happy and focus on that.
Anger is one of the most toxic behaviors in human beings. Those that let themselves get to a “rage” point are setting themselves up for depression and it’s super toxic to the recipients also, who feel threatened, unsafe and attacked. It runs kids, it destroys families, and it leads to a ton of regrettable crime.
You don’t go after the woman you love. You have to run after the woman who loves you. Once you’ve mastered this concept your mind starts to think more clearly about dating & marriage.
I’m not just talking about the guys looking for a good woman, this also applies to the ladies too. For the men and the women, look for compatibility and not perfection.
Perfection is something that always changes and updates itself. Today we want a woman with a big brain and a good head for problem solving, tomorrow we want her to be funny, the next day after that it’s something else. She might want an average Joe who is not so built, tomorrow she wants him to be adventurous, and so on and so forth.
Compatible is finding that man or woman who fits at least half or most of what you are looking for on that list. It means that he might throw a temper tantrum once in a blue moon, but she can live with it because he has some of the other qualities she is looking for that will overshadow that bad temper.
He’s a neat freak. He has everything set in a certain order. If you nudge that vase to the left he has to set it back. Does it drive her crazy? Hell yes, but she can overlook it, because he’s a good provider and a good father for their kids. He buys her flowers and takes her out on dates.
It’s a long answer, I know but when it comes to love this is what comes clear to me getting older. Like the world is not small, life is not short; people and experiences make the world infinite and life eternal.