Being nice and courteous isn’t a bad thing, but in some cases, it can come off as absolutely unnecessary and annoying. In this article, people share the most annoying nice gestures they have encountered.
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
People videotaping their nice gestures for views online or to brag about it on social media.
Like yeah giving that homeless guy a $20 was really nice. Would you if the camera was off ? Probably not.
When I’m waiting to cross the street in a place without a pedestrian crossing and a car stops for you to cross… It would be faster if you would just continue and I cross after you pass.
Seeing me eating alone and insisting that I need company. No, I don’t need company; not everyone needs company at a meal. Leave me alone.
I used to take the train to work. There was a 15 minutes walk between the train station and my work place. The last peaceful 15 minutes before I had to walk in there with a smile pretending to be happy and say good morning to everyone and socialize. A coworker offered to pick me up whenever he saw me when he drove past the train station…
Holding the door for someone who is not within 3-4 steps of the same door. I feel obligated to rush since they are holding it. please stop doing this.
Replying all on a ‘Thanks’ email.
There are 300 people on this, it takes 30 seconds to stop, open and discard per person. That’s 2.5 hours at your company average rate. If you want to thank someone, thank THEM.
People offering me food. I’ve lost about 85 lbs this year and have 32 more to lose before I get to my UGW. Family members have openly stated that they are jealous of my progress, and when they do this I feel like they’re trying to sabotage me.
I enjoy listening to people. Sometimes I’m content listening to a conversation even though I haven’t said anything in a while. Don’t try to include me by pointing out how quiet I am. Now I’m suddenly on the spot and everyone thinks I’m uninterested or a jerk because I have nothing to add under pressure.
When my co-workers make jokes (playfully, so I can hear/respond) about me being in a bad mood just because I’m quiet, which, in turn, puts me in a bad mood, making me even quieter. Or I’ll confront them and say that I am in fact, not in a bad mood, I’m just busy or whatever… which always comes out angry for some reason… so then they definitely think I’m in a bad mood. There’s no winning.
Doing anything they think is nice that I specifically ask them not to do. I’m not just being polite, there is a reason I’m asking you not to do something. You can offer, but if I say no don’t proceed to do it anyway. And it’s inevitably followed by a very hurt “I was just trying to help!
Men who wait for women to get off the elevator first. The person near the door should leave first. It’s just awkward to have to squeeze around someone who is blocking your way because they think it’s rude to get out first.
When passengers say anything along the lines of, “Oh, you don’t have to turn the GPS on, I can guide you!”
I understand they’re being nice, however, I can’t stand it because a majority of the time they don’t give me enough warning or guidance.
I’m driving in the left lane when suddenly, “OH, make a right, right here!”
Are you serious.
And don’t offer to give me directions if you get distracted a lot. If I would have used the GPS, I wouldn’t have missed the turn/exit you forgot about.
I have a medical condition that makes every day a living hell. I hate it when family/friends offer “advice”.
“Let me help you design a diet to fix it!” “You need to work out more.” “This essential oil will help!”
NO! I’ve been trying to find an answer for years, I don’t think you’re going to come up with one when you just found out about it for the first time.
Doesn’t happen as often now, but “You’re so skinny, you lucky thing.”
I know, this always kicks off a debate about where “skinny-shaming” is an actual problem or not compared to fat-shaming, but this is my personal answer to this question. For me, I never really got shamed per se, but “concerned” comments about my diet or just… observatory comments. I simply didn’t like it and it made me feel self-conscious.
When you meet somebody for the first time and the first thing they ask is what you do for a job. I know they mean well but I’m currently unemployed and it’s pretty embarrassing to say so. The follow up questions are often “why don’t you have a job? When will you get a job?” I’m trying but sometimes it isn’t as easy as that.
Saying hi to roommates every time you encounter them in the house. Saying bye when you’re just stepping out for a minute and then acknowledging them again when you come back 10 minutes later.
When people post things online unprompted like ‘remember you’re awesome’ or ‘it’s a bad day, not a bad life’; like I know you mean well, but you don’t know me or my situation. And then hundreds of comments flood in saying ‘omg thank you so much’ ‘I needed just this comment today’.
I know it shouldn’t bother me and I should just move along but it sets me off for a while after.
When things are going wrong at work and someone asks if you’re okay.
Unless they are a very close friend, they aren’t doing it because they care, they’re doing it because they want to know the gossip or want to witness your downfall.
When people see a picture of a brand new newborn baby and say “Aww she’s beautiful!” or “He looks just like you.”
Nah, (s)he looks like an alien, like all newborns do. I know it. You know it. It doesn’t care about your compliment. It’s a baby. It has no concept of vanity.
Also, by saying it looks like one/both of the parents, you’re saying the parents look like aliens with red skin and bulbous eyes, which, if anything, is an insult rather than a compliment.
At my workplace everyone has a very specific role and it is only when we are all focused on those roles that things go smoothly. I often have guys stop to help me lift or carry things because I’m a girl, this throws everything off! Suddenly things slow down because “they needed to help me” no! You just did it! If I need help I’ll ask! I promise.
When someone sends me a Christmas card thing with a picture of their family on it. I understand that you want to send seasons greetings around and show off your family, but I haven’t spoken to you in years and barely even know who you are.
Stop sending them.
When people try helping take drinks off your tray as a server. Please do not do this 99% of the time I have the tray perfectly balanced and it throws off the balance when you take drinks off when I’m not ready.
When a guy that you meet on Tinder or another dating app INSISTS on picking you up for the date, instead of you driving and meeting them. It’s nice and all but you could be an axe murderer, druggie thug and I would have no way to escape. Could try to drive me off a cliff or something.
Assuming because I’m single, girls will bring another one of their friends who is single to a function and just be hovering over me assuming I’ll automatically go after her without even talking to me about it first. Some girls get these ideas in their head and since they think that’s it’s a wonderful idea, everyone else just has to think it’s a wonderful idea too, without even letting me know about anything first.
I appreciate what You’re trying to do but I can’t handle stuff like that thrown at me and being the hidden center of discussion. It’s embarrassing and you’re doing no one a favor by not filling me (or both parties) in on your plans.
I have tattoos. I don’t mean to seem like a dick, but I don’t really like it when strangers ask me to go into all the details of the piece. Tattoos are often personal, and there isn’t always a quick way to explain the “story” behind the piece. I know they mean well, but when you ask something like that in passing, it puts me in a weird spot.
If you tell me that you like it or that it looks nice, I’ll thank you for it. But if you ask me “Oh what does that quote say” or “what does that mean”, I’ll probably internalize an eye-roll before answering you.
Small talk between acquaintances or salespeople/waiters, etc. The fewer words we exchange, the better imho. I always say “thank you” after anything and be as polite as possible but I hate it when people try to say more than is needed.
It’s not that I think I’m above other people, I just don’t talk a lot.
I have nothing against chivalry. I think it’s a nice gesture when a guy holds the door open for me or offers to carry something when I have my hands full. However, I cannot stand when a guy makes a girl accept his “chivalry.” If I politely decline an offer that a guy makes (such as “No, thank you. I really would just like to stand here, but thank you for offering me your chair.”), I get annoyed when the person doesn’t accept my answer (like if that person gets up from the chair after I politely refuse to sit down because I don’t want to and says something like, “Well, if you’re not going to sit down, I’m not going to either. You might as well use the chair because I’m not going to sit down knowing that a lady is standing when I’m sitting in a comfortable chair.)
When I’m looking for something and people ask what I’m looking for.
Most times I just want to take a quick glance to see if I left my cell phone or sunglasses or whatever laying on a table or something. I didn’t lose it, I know it’s close by, and it’s probably somewhere I can easily see it
But now I have to explain to the person what I’m looking for. Tell them the last place I had it. Go look all the places they think it might be. Etc etc and it’s a whole conversation when I know that thirty seconds of glancing around in different rooms will get the job done.
When I get to the point I want help, I’m happy to ask. Until then just assume I know what I’m doing.
Plus now they’re going to start looking for it too, and then when I find it I have to announce that I’ve found it so they can stop looking for it, and tell everyone where I “lost” it. And if there’s multiple people around I have to do all this with every person.
Damn I just want to see if my phone is on the coffee table or I took it to the bedroom.
When I open up to people and tell them I have depression and they console me with, “but you’re so smart” and pulling observations about me out of thin air. Yeah I get that I am not an idiot, but lots of good that’s doing me, right? I may not be physically unhealthy (mostly), suffer from something terminal, or be technically mentally ill, but I can’t control my sadness or where my subconscious leads. It’s not just a simple existential crisis.