From intentionally getting an electric shock, to face planting on clay after winning a tennis match, people share their “we never speak of this again” stories.
[Source can be found at the end of the article]
In college, skipped the day to play some CoD. Got bored and decided to take matters into my own hands. My dorm room was on top floor (4th) and the window blinds were open.
As I was furiously taking out my frustrations, a window washer came up to the window on a suspended scaffold. We locked eyes for a second and he left my window unwashed and slowly went back down.
So I am in high school and got trashed at a party. Somehow I made it home. In the middle of the night I drunkenly wander into my parents bedroom, sit on my Dad’s hamper and take a good, long piss. My dad woke up in the middle of it and pushed me back into my room. I wake up in the morning and go to the living room and see dad. He starts cracking up and told me what happened. Said we won’t tell anyone and to go upstairs and clean out his hamper. Ended up having to buy him a new hamper. My mom never said anything about it so I have no idea if she knew.
My dad passed away about 10 years ago. Since that time my mom told me a story about my dad getting drunk one night shortly after they were married and she woke up in the middle of the night to see him peeing in his hamper.
Apparently, I am totally my father’s daughter. And have still never told anyone about it.
Roommate told me to text him when I got home so we could smoke a cigarette. I thought “that’s dumb, he’ll be able to clearly hear me coming home.” So I knocked on his bedroom door and waltzed in, only to see him taking a pic of his junk or masturbating, I’m still not sure which. He jolted up and said something along the lines of “Woah, hey,” and I just said “Uhh … hi” and then we went outside and smoked a cigarette.
I was drinking Vodka, and I had this guy friend that I was trying to have sexy with, but he refused to do that with a drunk girl while he was sober. I grabbed my phone and started looking for some action… no such luck. I eventually passed out and went to sleep.
When I woke up the next morning, I read the texts I’d sent in absolute horror…
Me: what r u doin?
G: Getting ready 4 bed, u?
Me: Drunk, topless, and looking for some fun.
G: Lol, good luck! I’m going to bed.
G happened to be my boss who just started a few weeks ago… at the time Facebook would merge your friends contact info into your address book. I never spoke of it again, and had a difficult time looking him in the eye.
Growing up, we were poor, and as a teen I didn’t really have access to much, but I was quite a writer.
So I would write exotic fiction as a… release, in a spiral. Well, one day after writing a particularly sordid story, I kinda ‘came to’ and realized I shouldn’t leave that stuff around. I went to the kitchen, intendING to throw the spiral away, set it down, got a drink, the phone rang, I answered. And left the spiral in the kitchen, forgotten.
An hour later my mother comes to me with the spiral and “questions.”
I won’t get into it but she described how a lot of my stories… wouldn’t really ever happen and were a bit extreme. She threw it away and it never came back up
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When I was 9 I had a friend, Donna. Donna was a little more ~mature~ than I was. She brought up sex. The only thing I knew about sex was that it was bad because of an abstinence only billboard that was up by my grandma’s house. I told her that it was bad, and she said “it’s how you make babies, stupid.” So naturally she proposes we have sex. We were in our underwear and tee shirts. She leaned in to kiss me and I pulled away. Nothing of any sexual nature happened but she said “that was it, we had sex.” So I feared for weeks I was pregnant, and woke up in the middle of night sobbing to my mom that I was pregnant and I had sex with Donna. She explained that’s not how any of that worked. My mom and I have never mentioned it again in the past eleven years since.
My roommate’s younger brother was visiting from across the country recently. I left for a long weekend and came back more than a little sexually frustrated. She wasn’t home and I foolishly assumed he was with her doing some sightseeing or touristy stuff people do when they travel. Nope. He was asleep. Upstairs. Directly above my bed. Where was I? Furiously masturbating (LOUDLY) for two entire hours. My poor roommate’s brother woke up maybe 15 minutes into my ~me time~ and told me later that he got to hear the whole show.
A close friend and I had just gone through break ups and were drinking a lot that week out of depression.
One night we end up cuddling to a movie. Things get intimate. Hot, passionate, messy sex ensues all over a suede couch.
We awoke in the morning and without speaking, grabbed cleaning supplies, scrubbed the hell out of the couch, then clothed ourselves and went to work.
Since then we had a laugh about it but we agreed never to bring it up again.
We remain great friends.
When I was around 12 years old, my family was on vacation somewhere. Sleeping arrangements: me/mom on one bed and brother/dad on the other. Except my dad had this annoying habit of getting in bed and cuddling with mom in the morning.
Anyways. One night, I had a very vivid dream. I dreamt that my period started and the blood was gushing. Like, whoa, there was so much blood you guys. And in the dream, I was running to the toilet to try to contain the blood. PLOT TWIST: Piss dream got the best of me. I woke up a few minutes later soaked in piss. I’m pretty sure my mom and dad felt it too. And my pyjamas stank like it for the rest of our trip.
No one said anything about it.
My best guy friend and I both went through really bad breakups around the same time. That NYE we got really drunk and attempted to have sex. We stopped after a few minutes, looked at each other, burst out laughing, and agreed we would never speak of it again. It’s been six years, he’s happily married with a baby boy, we still get together to catch up every couple of months, have never spoken of the incident again.
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I was six, and we were moving. There was an electrical socket I had never seen before. I had a paperclip. It looked like it fit right in — and it did! I had a shock in my whole hand, but fortunately dropped the paperclip out of the light socket quickly enough so that nothing else happened. I went upstairs and told my mom that my hand felt funny after I’d stuck a paperclip in a socket.
She told me never to tell my dad, because it’d upset him to think that I could have been killed due to my own stupidity without his being there to protect me (I’m an only child, was a sickly baby, and am still a daddy’s girl thanks to that). It’s been thirty years, and I still haven’t told him!
My college room-mate and I were in Italy, and we were lost at a small town train station where there’s no English and no one spoke English at all. The way the train station is set up is that we have to take stairs underground, and take stairs back up to cross the platform.
We were trying to figure out which train to take, and ended up going back and forth since we barely understood any Italian. After a few trips going up and down, we decided to just cross back and forth across the tracks.
This was way before smart phones, so we were in the middle of the tracks while I used a compass to figure out which direction Florence was. Then we realized it was noisier than usual, looked up, and saw a train coming.
In panic, we ran in front of the train to the platform across instead of backwards to safety.
Realized we nearly won Darwin Awards. We agreed not to tell anyone about how dumb we were.
Had a situation in 8th grade. There were a stack of papers on a projector (I’m old). For whatever reason, there was a mad-dash to get them, and as I reached for one I over shot and grabbed a girl’s boob. We both looked at each other knowingly and pretended like it never happened. Didn’t need to even say anything.
My buddy invited me on a camping/hiking trip with his church. I agreed (very avid hiker and outdoorsman) and threw my pack together.
We hike our butts up this mountain and set up camp. I brought all my toys. Got my new wisperlite stove and my new folding camp chair! Guess what I forgot? My sleeping bag! (What a noob mistake. Left it in the jeep at the base of the mountain).
My buddy literally helped me lay out our clothes on the floor of the tent and we slept snuggled up (back to back) covered with his sleeping bag.
My friend is a good friend.
I think we decided to just get through it and never talk about it again.
My brother has the same name as one of our uncle’s close friends… so he mistakenly calls my brother sometimes thinking it’s his friend.
He’s currently in a very serious relationship and last weekend my brother got a call with him drunkenly saying, “I’ve got two girls who will help us out for $300.” My brother told him wrong guy again, he stammered and hung up. We both agreed to not mention it to anyone.
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I spent summer vacations at grandparent’s house so my parents got a break from raising a social awkward, introverted kid. There was nothing to do and nowhere to go, so I spent most of my time watching cartoons and writing short stories. One summer I really got into whittling wood, and asked my grandmother if I could use the electric saw I found. She said it wasn’t a problem but she made sure to supervise me. It took 30 seconds to break it, and she laughed when she realized it was a fish fillet knife. We agreed not to tell my grandpa.
In High School, I played tennis. My best friend was also on the team, and we usually played each other a few sets for warm-ups. I thought I was great, and always jumped over the net instead of walking around (because that’s how cool I was). One day, we were warming up on a game day (so there was a crowd), and after I won, I jumped over the net on the way to the clubhouse as per usual. Except my toe was pointed a little further down than it should have been and I face planted on the clay. My best friend threatened to bring it to everyone’s attention, but I bought her Chick-Fil-A and we agreed not to speak of it again.
I was 16 and extremely drunk at a friend’s house party. I decided I was too drunk to stay awake so I went to my friends room and fell asleep.
So from this point I don’t remember hardly anything, it’s all secondhand. I apparently walked out into the living room where everyone was still partying. In my drunken stupor I pulled down my pants, in front of the whole party, and pissed all over a fold-up chair. Somebody of course asks what I’m doing and all I seem to respond with is, “I had to pee, someone’s in the bathroom.” Everyone is yelling at me to go outside and I slightly remember waddling to the back of the house, pants around my ankles. I promptly stepped out of my pants and walked home, waking up with sheer embarrassment wondering it was a bad dream or real… it was real.
When my best buddy and I were still in high school we decided to go up an old mountain road and do some underage drinking in his car. We were up there for a while and all of a sudden we see head lights behind us. Fearing it was a cop we hide the beer and my friend looks over to me and says “Just follow my lead.” Turns out it was a cop. We rolled down the windows and he asked what we were up to this late at night up in the mountains. I’m sitting in the passenger seat, freaking out hoping he can’t smell any of the beer. My friend looks over at the cop and in the calmest voice says, “It’s our two year anniversary tonight and we were trying to get away from everything. . .” He then reaches over, picks up my hand and kisses the back of it. The cop looked at us for another few seconds and told us to have a nice and safe night. Just another couple of gay boys enjoying themselves up in the mountains at 1am.
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About 6 years ago, I was travelling around Europe with some buddies.
We were with a tour group of about 20 people in Munich, drinking at a traditional beer hall. A buddy challenged me to a drinking competition, to finish the steins we had just ordered. It was huge, and ice cold.
I won. It took me about 5 minutes, we didn’t attempt chugging it, or really drinking it super aggressively.
So there I am, belly full of ice cold beer – bloated as all hell. I’m burping quietly in my mouth as the excessive amount of gas rises to the surface.
Whoops. Not a burp. A decent amount of beer gets regurgitated into my mouth. Holding it in my mouth, I look around to see if anyone noticed. Given I’m at the end of the table, people aren’t looking my way and are otherwise distracted. Except for Lanelle, a quiet and demure Canadian girl.
Our eyes meet, my cheeks full with shame. Not breaking eye contact, I swallow my shame. I raise a finger to my mouth making the ‘Shhhh’ signal. Her expression is somewhere between concern and disgust, and she returns to her conversation.
Went round a friends flat a couple of years back. We had just arrived and he wanted to show me his new air-soft rifle that he kept in his bedroom wardrobe. We walk into his bedroom to find his girlfriend standing in front of the mirror on front of the wardrobe, knickers round her ankles, spreading her vagina like she lost something up there. Obviously she had not realised we had got back…
One night when I was in college I was really drunk and hungry, but every place that delivered food was closed because it was like 4am. Then I remembered that there was a McDonald’s like 2-3 miles from campus that I could walk to. I checked the website and it said it was open 24 hours, so I started to make my way.
As I got close to the student center on the edge of campus, I started second guessing whether or not that McDonald’s was open 24/7 or not, so I decided to pop into the computer lab in the basement of the center (which was always open) to go online and check again.
The lights were off in the lab so I thought I would be the only person there, but when I entered the room and the lights came on I sae a security guard sitting at one of the computers. He’s startled by me and scrambles to close the window he was looking, which I could already tell was an exotic website.
I was didn’t know how to react so I just sat down at a computer and didn’t say a word. He breaks the awkward silence by getting up and saying, “Well, it’s about that time” and then making his way to the door. I still don’t know what exactly he meant by that but my response was just to nod and say yup.
That guard and I crossed paths quite a bit after that and it was always a little awkward, but at the same time we had like this unspoken agreement about that night and he would always be nicer to me and let me off when others would have written me up for something I did.
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My best friend and I were at a New Years Eve party. I was just getting over a bad break up, and he was my biggest support that entire time. We’re both dancing and drinking in the kitchen at the party. I walk from across the entire kitchen, to him, cut off the girl he’s dancing with and shove my tongue in his mouth.
The next day, he gave me a ride home and said “you’re like my sister, you know that right?” And that ended that. Never spoke about it again! He’s still my best friend and we’re both in happy, committed relationships, but it still happened.
My dad and I were target shooting at the gun range one Sunday afternoon. We were up at the 300 yard range and practicing with the .308 he just got. This particular rifle has a 5 round magazine. We were taking turns with it and my dad was on his last run. I was standing behind him loading up the leftover boxes of ammunition into this container we were using. My dad, thinking he fired all 5 rounds, begins placing his rifle into the gun case. The nozzle of the barrel is to the left of me and facing slightly in front of my stomach… where this box of ammunition is. Suddenly, the gun just fires…. before I could react, the ammunition box in front of me…. EXPLODES. Feeling immense heat and pressure, I stumble backward and fall flat on my back. I’m basically laying on the ground wondering if I died when my dad, completely sobbing, is standing over me asking me if I’m okay. I get up and brush off some dirt… “I’m totally fine!” I yell out because I can’t hear anything. On the way home my dad and I basically decided to never tell anyone that happened (Or at least my mom).
When I was in middle school, my (older) best friend and I decided to catfish some guy in a local AOL Chat room. Within 10 minutes of talking, he was already asking for our address so we gave him my neighbor’s address and told him to just come on in when he gets there. We waiting and sure enough the guy in the picture he sent us walked up the street (he parked down a bit). He walked right in and 3 minutes later, he comes running out and down the block when the father comes out screaming at him. Apparently he had went up into their 10 year old’s bedroom.
My best friend and I felt terrible. Never did that again and never spoke of it again. I still feel terrible because something bad might have happened.
Many years ago, walked into a classroom at break time to find ‘S’, a teacher all us 13 year old boys thought was very hot, slumped with her back to the door sitting at her desk. She grabbed me and cried on my shoulder for about 5 minutes (she had lost a relative) …so I awkwardly patted her back trying to hide an obvious very awkward boner. We never spoke of it again, even though this might have been amazing boast material, I liked her and respected her too much. Pretty sure I blushed every damn time I saw her for about a year after though. She and my mum became good friend some time after that… I always wondered if she told my mum, but I’ve never had the courage to ask!
This happened a year and a half ago on a family trip to Mexico.
It was very humid and hot during the day, and since we’re in Mexico, I had been drinking since sunrise and it was now time for bed. (You can probably see where this is going)
Anyways, I had a very vivid dream that I was in the bathroom at the resort and had just started to unzip my pants in my dream to urinate when I woke up. By now, it was far too late. I woke up next to my younger brother, covered from the waste down in piss. There was even a piss stain that looked somewhat like a chalk outline of an obese man.
My brother and I are quite close, and are always brutal towards each other in a fun way. I expected him to roast me and wake up my parents to embarrass myself. I woke him up, and he knew immediately. He helped me strip all the bedding and throw it into the hallway for the cleaning crew to pick up. All of this at 6am, with no hesitation what so ever.
We woke up a couple hours later to my parents questioning us why we were sleeping on a bed with no sheets or blankets, and we both said we sweat too much throughout the night and got rid of them.
To this day, we haven’t spoken about it, but both know deep inside that my 18 year old self pissed the bed. I love that kid.