Have you ever been in love? If so, you may not be able to remember the exact moment you knew. These Ask Redditors do! And share the exact moment they knew they were smitten, forever.
For more stories, check out the original thread at the end of the article.
When you find someone that makes you think, “Yeah, I could let this person freaking destroy me in every way and still be okay with it.”
The moment I knew I was in love with my husband.
Here’s some back story. I am in the military. We were only dating at the time and I went home on Radiological Assistance Program after my tech training. I walked into his room one day and a book on his desk caught my eye (I’m an avid reader so this is natural. I picked it up and the title read I Never Told Anyone. It’s a book of writings by survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
My heart felt like it exploded and I got really teary-eyed when he walked in and saw me holding it. All he said was, “I just wanted to be able to understand what you went through – the trauma – without reopening that wound.”
Loving him was a decision I made then and continue to make each and everyday.
I was the “other man” for a while.
A girl I worked with was flirting pretty heavily with me and we went out, things were going pretty well until she told me she had a boyfriend.
I didn’t wanna be that guy so I said we couldn’t see each other, she goes on to explain how they are gonna breakup and he’s not good to her and all this.
Temptation gave in and we kept dating for a while until one day she tells me about how she had a bad night.
Apparently she has this condition where it is really hard for her to poop and it causes her a lot of pain, the boyfriend helped her by pushing on her stomach while she pooped and it made her feel better somehow.
I was like, “whoa that boy loves you, I wouldn’t do all of that. I mean like I’d ask from the other side of the door if you needed anything from the pharmacy but I’d never push on your stomach while you pooped.”
All of a sudden it got real to me that he loved her and I was a jerk for being the other man.
So… my point is you know you are in love when you will help them poop.
I recently found that I loved my girlfriend, among other reasons, because even when I’m lifting, which is my get away and happy place, I still think about her.
One day I was lifting and had to stop halfway through and refocus because I realized I loved this woman.
Whatever we do, we both do it together and it makes the experience more fun. In past relationships that didn’t happen, and I had to hold back.
A girl at work asked a bunch of us guys a question like this once. I think the exact question was, “when did you know you were going to marry your wife?”
My answer was, when I realized that my wife is the first woman I’ve dated that I actually missed when I wasn’t with them, that was when I knew I wanted to be with her forever. And then, after about a year of that feeling not changing or going away, I asked her to marry me.
Another guy I work with said he saw his wife destroy the fattest loaded burger, down her Texas cheese fries, and then gulp down her beer before ordering another. That was his clue. I guess love comes to each of us differently.
When you start treating the other person like your “second-self.” Their needs and wants are just as, if not more, important than your own.
I don’t ever worry about getting into car accidents really, but when we’re driving around I have this strange urge to make sure I’m being more-than-necessary careful.
If I’m having a great time at a party, I’ll make sure to let him know I want to leave whenever he starts looking confused or moping around, even though he’d never ask us to leave himself because he’s adorable like that.
We both use to be overweight and now we who watch our weight like hawks. If there’s only one left, I’ll drink the 300 calorie ginger beer so he can drink the diet one. (If you know what I’m like with calorie counting, that’s like a huge sacrifice, okay?). I’ll let him shower before the warm water runs out because he hates cold showers. I’ll let him take the fluffier towel, too.
But then he makes me walk on the side of the road that isn’t beside traffic when we’re walking so I’m safer, and gives me the unbroken cookie, and gives me foot massages when I get period cramps, and showers me in cuddles and chocolate, so we’re even.
I love him.
When all the new wears off, you don’t have butterflies every time they call or text or you know you’re going to see them.
You’re not getting all giddy about “firsts” in your relationship, you’re no longer both on your best behavior, you can see their faults and let them see yours.
You’ve survived a few disagreements, you’re not having sex every time you catch some alone time, and sex isn’t mind blowing every single time.
And after all that, they’re still your favorite person.
They still think the sun shines out of you. You still do things for each other, for the simple joy of making them happy. The absence of the rose colored glasses of new lust haven’t been replaced with resentment, it has evolved into comfort, stability, and security with that person.
The moment I took my girlfriend out to eat for her birthday.
It was a fondue place and I felt super out of my element. She loved every second of it. I hated the food. She loved it. I hated the drinks. She loved it. I hated the atmosphere. She loved it.
Despite all of that, I loved every second of the evening because she did. I got such great joy from her experiencing her time that I had a great time too.
I truly love this woman and me being happy because she was happy showed me I loved her.
When a person can make your day by simply existing.
How when you’re with them, time seems to stop.
When you realize no one has ever made you feel happier, safer, or more complete.
I’ve been married 10 years. I know how I show love and how my wife shows me love. Forgiveness. Respect. Compromise.
Love is holding her hair when she pukes. Not going to bed angry – talking and working through troubles and arguments no matter how difficult the topic. That is key to “waking up happy”. Not storming off in the middle of an argument. Accepting you’re wrong. Undying respect, no matter what. You may be super mad at the other person for something entirely their fault but never lose respect. Forgiveness. Compromise. Doing things the other person enjoys because they enjoy it, and doing it with a smile on your face. Taking risks together. Accepting there are just some things the other person won’t do. But always, Compromise. Forgiveness. Respect.
Love is not chemical imbalances or physiological changes in your body.
Love is the feeling and joy you get when doing things FOR the other person.
You know, when after few minutes you were thinking about something else you suddenly remember about your significant other and you get that feeling of a bottle of champagne popping in your chest and throat.
When I realized that I loved my husband, we had been dating for two weeks. I went home for spring break and realized that home just didn’t really feel like home any more. That warmth you get when you are completely comfortable and in your element was gone.
I was so excited to go back to school. It was the first time I said bye to my family without crying. I resolved to tell him when I got back to town.
His apartment was my first stop after my 2 hour drive back to my university where he met me in the parking garage and helped me bring some stuff inside. He then proceeded to beat me to the punch and told me he loved me first!
We were engaged by Thanksgiving, and got married two years later. We’ve been together for five years now and it has been the best five years of my whole life. Our whole relationship has just been so easy. No breakups, no drama, no suspicious activity. We say the same thing at the same times, and basically make up one complete person with our strengths and weaknesses.
Real love is easy. Life can be hard. We argue about stupid stuff sometimes. But we are always over it within an hour. Two, tops. Real love never waivers and would never let you hurt the person on the other side. It sees through the b.s and says “of course I’m mad because of this, but that doesn’t make my feelings for you change. If anything it is those feelings that caused me to become upset.” Then you fix it and move on.
You go through real, life-altering shit and the other person keeps you stable, or you keep them stable. You support each other through the depression, crushed dreams, new dreams, family fights, and health kicks.
You don’t put up with their crap because you know they’re better than that, so you tell them as much and they realize that you’re right. And if they call you on your crap you accept it and fix it.
My husband proposed to me after realizing that being with me was more important to him than anything else.
He had a conversation with a friend who was concerned about his partner taking a job across the country, and my husband realized that in that situation he wouldn’t even have to think about it. If I moved, he’d move with me. He’d quit his job in an instant to be with me, and he looked at the friend and said “I’m going to marry my girlfriend.”
Probably not what our friend needed to hear at the time, but it worked out well for us.
She was my first thought in the morning and my last at night. She filled my dreams and motivated my actions.
It was terrifying and exhilarating: I was not in control of my life because I’d do anything for her, but I didn’t care because I got to spend it with her.
I realized that all one morning as I woke and she was again the only thought in my mind. It had probably been that way for a while before I realized, but I cannot tell you how long because I was lost in her.
This probably sounds trite, but “love” is work. How hard you’re willing or want to work on a relationship at it’s worst is a good indication of if you’re in love versus just infatuated with someone. Infatuation dies when things get hard, but love will want to keep working to preservere (oh man, this does sound trite…but it’s true). Stick with me here, despite sounding like a self help book:
Being in love is being selfless, patient, and basically looking at the worst of someone along with the best and going “yep….that’s for me.” Infatuation feels a lot like love, especially with how media plays it out. Idealization and thinking someone is “perfect” isn’t love. If you have someone who you can be 100% yourself around, and they have the freedom to do the same, you’re getting closer. If you find your happiness in wanting to make the other person happy, it’s a fairly good indication you really are in love. It’s really mostly about wanting to put the other person first.
HUGE words of warning, though: I feel like society, especially for young females, is more in love with the idea of love versus the reality of it. Being in love is about being selfless; however, it is NOT at the cost of giving up all that you are.
The key to a loving relationship is that the person you’re with is also willing to work just as hard as you. They will respect your boundaries, try to meet your needs, and have respect for who you are as well. The relationship needs to be balanced with both of you trying to give your best to the other person, otherwise the potential for manipulation can be pretty high.
I’ve been married to my best friend for almost 6 years and we’ve been together for 8, and this advice was the BEST we were ever given as a couple
Man, I found real love for the first time in my life last year. I’ll try to explain it. I knew instantly that there was something special between us. Literally the first time we went out, it was like we had been together for 10 years.
All I wanted to do was be around this person. It didn’t matter what else I was doing, I simply couldn’t get enough. You feel like if you could just stay with them forever, that life would be pretty great.
I’m a pretty argumentative person, but in love I don’t fight. Because I don’t care if I win. I just want things to be exactly how they are. So I don’t yell and I don’t get angry. I might get hurt, but never angry.
It was very obvious I was in love because the honeymoon phase of the relationship never wore off. A year later and it’s just as amazing if not more so than when we first started. I have no doubt that it will stay this way forever. She’s just…my other half. I don’t want to ever date again. This is the one and I couldn’t be happier. She might not be perfect but she’s perfect for me.
I just found out I was truly in love yesterday afternoon. My significant other and I had been at the beach cabana all day enjoying a gorgeous South Florida day when naturally a cat 1 hurricane decided to form in the distance. We decided to wait out the storm instead of driving through it so we took showers and settled in for the wait. I was sitting on the beach chair having a beer and it starts to drizzle.
My significant other starts yelling, it’s raining, let’s go let’s go. I’m all like what the heck are you talking about. Suddenly he says, “I want to kiss you in the rain, come on get up.” I started laughing really hard because I thought he was messing with me. He was so serious and grabbed me, pulled me out into the rain and started kissing me. He goes, “I remember the first time we ever kissed. It was on the bus on the way home from graduation night 10 years ago. I’ll never forget that and I’ll always kiss you, forever in rain or shine!
It was ridiculous and amazingly sweet and at that moment I knew I was totally in love and completely happy! Like finally truly in love when I felt that feeling.
I guess you’ll know when something so silly and stupid happens that really reminds you that somewhere deep inside you can let go and let love in! (if that makes any sense at all.)
I’ve been with my significant other for 5 years now. It started off with intense infatuation – writing songs about him and making poetry out of everything he did. I never found him boring, or embarrassing, or insufferable in any way. We never, ever fought. He stuck with me through cancer. I stuck with him through his mother passing away. I was so in love, I thought.
It wasn’t until about a year ago, he was in his final semester of college and worked full-time. I work a lot too, but the stress started overtaking him and he started forgetting all of our plans, not being interested in hanging out with me, not wanting to be intimate. I was never nice or empathetic, just always pissed off. This escalated to us contemplating our love for each other and we talked about breaking up. It was devastating. I missed two days of work just sobbing and feeling lifeless in bed (we’ve been dating for 5 years, but he was my best friend throughout high school prior to that).
This is when I realized I was in love and that he was, too. We fought to stay together. We both realized how poorly we had treated one another and found it important enough to give up the ego, admit our faults, and work on our bad habits. I realized I was in love when I found out that love is a choice that you make, not just a feeling.
Sometimes I think he’s embarrassing and sometimes I think his stories are super boring now, and I don’t always think he’s a glorious incandescent perfect human anymore. And I love him now, more than I ever did.