It can be hard to tell from the outside perspective, but there are definitely red flags given off to people on the outside that indicate a relationship may some shaky things happening inside it…from one side of the party, or both. Sometimes bringing it up can save it, other times it can ruin your friendship.
Below are stories of people who realized something was off about their friend’s significant other, and what they did about it. Check them out! A source to even more can be found on the last page.
My wife’s best friend’s husband.
I never got on with the guy while everyone else did. I found him to be very ‘know it all’ and if you had done something, he had done it 10 times better. I’m sure my wife had a thing for him, it was always “Rob has done this and Rob has done that, ain’t Rob a great guy, Tracy is so lucky to have Rob, why don’t you and Rob go fishing? Why don’t you and Rob go for a beer?”
To keep the peace I would and each time I spent time with the guy, I disliked him more and more. Something just didn’t feel right about him.
I ended up telling my wife that I can’t handle the bloke anymore, and that I wouldn’t have him round our home again.
Two weeks later it came out that Rob had been abusing Tracy, was a raging alcoholic, mentally abused his kids and was hooking up with someone from down the road.
Now everyone thinks Rob is horrible.
He tried to feel me up at her birthday party.
I tried to tell her, but she took his side.
We’re no longer friends.
Well, she’s 20 and he’s over ten years older. Six months into their relationship she tells me he wont let her touch his phone, but gets mad if she doesn’t let him touch hers. A year passes and she’s never been to his place, met his family, and the only time they see each other is at work. Dude is either married or has kids.
He called her because the baby woke up and the baby is her responsibility. He went off about how she wanted the baby so it’s not fair that he has to wake up and change a diaper. It was her first night out in months and he wanted her to come home to change a diaper. She hung up on him.
We were out to dinner. I told them a story about my ex girlfriend about how she never got a job after we moved, spent all my money, forced us to get a luxury apartment and, as soon as she did get a job, started hooking up with some dude at her job. I literally came home one night and found them in bed. After hearing all this my friends girlfriend said “wow, she sounds really resourceful. She took you for a ride and got away with it. Good for her.”
As soon as she was in the bathroom I told my friend to break up with her.
Whenever she would be having fun, he would pull her to the side and whisper lecture her about how she looked stupid. For dancing, laughing too loud, stuff like that.
Spoiler: Six years later and the divorce is finally underway!
When he installed some kind of app on my best friends computer so that he could control the mouse with his phone. I think this was two months after I met him – 6 months into their relationship. I thought that was real messy but Haha its only a joke, why do you think its weird?
About a year later, he asked her to sign into Facebook to “see if Facebook was working for her”. Later that day she came over worried and asked me if he couldve saved her password even if she told Chrome to not save it. We kind of bounced ideas around that, No, I dont think so… I mean unless he put a keylogger on his computer? But that would be messed up. And sure enough, thats exactly what he did.
Notable favorite: After breaking up, he also tried to pose as me online so he could talk to her. He used my same username so it was easily mistaken.
The whole relationship was a mess.
It was my sister’s significant other.
The family dog HATED him. This was a dog that either loved people or was, at worst, rarely disinterested in them. Him growling at someone for seemingly no reason was unheard of. But then her boyfriend shaped up to be a real piece of crap. No idea how our dog was able to sense that from the moment the guy first stepped foot in our house, but from then on I took his opinion on people very seriously.
When she lied about literally anything, I mean anything. “My dads car is green.”, “I tasted water from Tibet.”, stuff that didn’t matter, I noticed it the first time I met her, took my mate on the side and said “I don’t like your girl, actually I think she’s awful, but you’re my mate and I’ll tolerate her for you, but just know that I think she’s not great”
Anyways as time went by she just kept proving her lying abilities, I’d mention being at some remote party or an island that didn’t even exist and sure enough “Oh, yeah I was there!” – “The island doesn’t even exist Jessica.” – “Oh it must have been somewhere that sounded like it, I’ve been to too many places!”
We started wondering why one of our mutual friends was distancing herself from us, so we asked her. She spilled the beans. Boy did she do her research. She had a bunch of dirt on his girlfriend. She didn’t want to get in between the relationship, but the flood gates were open.
The dirt that broke the relationship was her proving that all Jessica’s friends and even most of the family and exes on FB were all her fake accounts with google image profile pics. They were the ones who convinced him to date her, and she rejected him the first time her asked her out.
We’d invite the two of them for dinner, and he’d repeatedly tell my S/O and me that the 4 of us should play a “do-it-to-the-end game of strip poker.”
He put emphasis on the word poker.
Someone ‘hacked’ a friend’s boyfriend’s computer and posted a bunch of very sensitive photos on websites. But for some strange reason nothing else (like his bank records, email, etc.) was compromised. How odd that this hacker would only be after her nudes.
I immediately said “It was him. He’s the one posting the pics online.” She spent so much time saying what a great guy he was and how it couldn’t possibly be him because he had an important job (working for a major politician) and that he wouldn’t compromise his dream of a career in politics.
A few months later, she finally came to realize that he was an emotionally abusive psychopath and dumped him. Then he started posting her name and address (and pics) on websites. She got a restraining order, he kept doing it, and eventually he got prosecuted and is no longer allowed near a computer. I still think he got off way too easy.
One of my friends’s girlfriend has cheated on him probably 8 times now. Every time, he gets pissed, destroys stuff, locks himself in his room.
They’re always back together within two days. I’ve tried talking to him and he just blocks me out. I don’t know why he’s doing this to himself.
Me and my cousin grew up together like brothers, I immediately knew his new girlfriend didn’t like me from the looks she would give me or how blunt she was when I tried to engage her in conversation.
A few months down the line and I try and arrange a meal with my cousin, asked him to bring his girlfriend along so we can break the ice. Everything was arranged, I showed up at the restaurant and they didn’t. I was stood up. They are now married and have two kids. I wasn’t invited to his stag night or his wedding. I was, and still am, gutted.
I met my wife and invited him to my stag do, he was all paid up and I couldn’t wait to see him again. It was the thing I was looking forward to the most…he didn’t show up.
He and his wife showed up to my wedding and acted as if there was no problem, it was quite strange but I didn’t care as it was great to just spend some time with the man I had considered my brother.
We kind of kept in contact via text but never met up, even though I tried to arrange it a few times.
Then my son was born, I was desperate for them to meet each other and bent over backwards to meet up. I agreed to meet at a play area so his daughters could tag along and go play and he got to meet my son (who is named after his brother who passed away) I sat there for an hour before he messaged me to say he wasn’t coming.
As a final attempt to salvage some kind of relationship I invited his family to my son’s christening, I got a message an hour after it had finished to say he wasn’t going to make it as his wife had arranged to do something.
That was 4 years ago and I haven’t heard, seen or spoke to him since.
Still makes me sad but as long as he is happy, then that is all that matters.
She was super friendly, but Id catch her looking at me out of the corner of my eye with… not a nasty expression exactly, but not a friendly one either, sort of wary (Im also a girl) …
Shed also casually say odd little details when talking about her life that made it seem like she had a pretty skewed idea of relationships and gender roles (she went to an all girls boarding school, and even though she was 24 she was the first of all of her friends to ever have a boyfriend) like saying its ridiculous to expect a woman to change a lightbulb on her own! or making out that some things were a big deal in relationships, when theyre really not, as if shed got all her knowledge from romantic comedies. Just really tiny things that wouldnt be significant on their own, but added all together it really set me on edge.
She ended up flipping and not letting him see any of his friends or do any of the things he enjoyed for two whole years, because she was basically jealous of every single other woman in the world, even his male friends girlfriends. It took his brother to come round and have good long chat for him to realise she was a control freak who was ruining his life – it was a timely escape too, since she was starting to talk about babies.
He was “cuddling” with her when we met and refused to even take his hands off her for one second to shake my hand when I offered it. He just looked at my hand and held her in closer.
She thought it was sweet. I thought it was rude. Turns out he didn’t much care for women who he couldn’t hold in and he found many such women in the course of the marriage.
Where to start:
The double date we went on where he corrected her on the difference between UFC and MMA and she turned into the corner of the booth and didn’t talk to anyone the rest of the night.
How he wasn’t allowed to hang out with me either because I was dating someone and they might have hot friends or I was single and needed a wingman.
There was the time I used my dad’s truck to help them move and she got mad at me. I don’t remember why I just remember her friends doing almost nothing and then leaving before we were done.
The final straw for me was when we were working for his parents band on a river boat concert. She got mad that we were hanging out, literally just talking on a small boat. She left the ring on the table and left the boat the second it docked. Unfortunately they made up after this and have been living together for the last year, hoping it ends soon.
I had a holiday in Vegas with my friend and his partner. It was just supposed to be the two of us but he asked if he could tag along. Okay, fine. Started bad on the plane, he refused to carry my bottle of water when I asked him to help me out as I had some bags. He point blank refused to eat at any restaurant I suggested. When I tried to make conversation he would ignore me or just grunt. Kept commenting on how much alcohol we were consuming (I’m not an alcoholic but it’s Vegas!). It was terrible. To make matters worse he convinced my friend that I had made him feel very uncomfortable for the whole trip, that I didn’t make an effort. I was shocked. We haven’t spoken in months and I’m devastated. Over 10 years of friendship gone.
When my best friend and his SO started in an LDR, I didn’t think much of it. But when she would repeatedly make fun of my him to her friends on twitter I brought it up. She repeatedly cheated on him and acted like they weren’t serious at all. Told my friend again because he was head over heels. They finally broke up because of a fight over something unrelated to the things I brought up to my friend.
Then they got back together and my friend used the stuff I told him to make a stipulation that if she wants anything to do with him she has to be serious. For whatever reason she stick with it. She started pulling him away from me gradually.
Quick flashback, when his ex gave birth to his two sons I dropped everything, was late to work because of one of them, and spent as much time as I could with them.
When I had my daughter, I invited my best friend not once, not twice but 3 times to meet her. He couldn’t be bothered to come to the hospital. Not because of work but because he “needed” to be on the phone with his girlfriend.
I burned that bridge so quickly. Now they’re engaged with a kid of their own. He moved to Florida for her and is an alcoholic now. Good riddance to both of them.
Long story. Best friend was adopted as a kid. Adoptive parents killed in a car accident when he was 11. He was in the back seat. He survived.
Became even better mates. Same schools and college. He decided he was gonna marry this girl. I was happy for him but I had never met her as I lived out of the country at the time. So wedding is in 6 months. I fly down to see family and end up going with my the girlfriend and some friends and we all meet up at a local restaurant.
Meet his fiancee. She seems nice and welcoming. She flirts subtly with me. Nothing major but talks about my appearance quite a bit. In front of her fiancee. I think nothing much of it.
Later in the evening I go to the bathroom. I end up walking to a cubicle and as I enter she jumps in front of me and closes the door with me inside… I ask her what she’s doing. Her response is anything I want.
I immediately push her out. Sit down and in shock have no idea what I’m supposed to do.
I go back to the table. I’m quiet. I realize that I should tell or say something to him.
I pull him outside and tell him what happened. He is too in shock. Ruins the whole evening and next day I flew back to my home town with my girlfriend to see my family.
We don’t speak for months until the wedding. I’m his best man.
Whole family was off to me. Bride hated me. We don’t speak anymore but I know what happened and friends support my decision to tell him. He claims she says it was all a misunderstanding due to being drunk. I know what I saw. I know what happened. I know what she was trying to do. I feel bad because I have probably lost a friend but my conscious is clear.
Good luck Philip.