Sometimes you’ve just got take life a little less seriously. Let kids be kids, brush off the small stuff, and keep your eye on the big picture. If average people apply this to their lives, then why shouldn’t cops do the same?
Police officers of Reddit were asked: “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve caught teenagers or kids doing that is illegal but you found hilarious?” These are some of the best answers.
We got a call about kids (probably 11/12-year-olds) jumping across back yards. They were looking for things to steal I guess.
We searched for them for about 15 minutes. Just as I was starting to get bored with it, I hear laughing coming from a drain pipe. It’s aout 4ft tall. My mate and I decide to head in. About 30m down the tunnel I come see this kid bent over on all fours, pants down around his ankles. His mate is bent over, sitting on his back spreading the first kid’s butt cheeks. There is a 3rd kid kneeling next to the first kids butt holding a lighter.
They were in the midst of doing blue angels (lighting farts) in a dark tunnel…
I had no clue what to say.
We told them to come out of the drain with us. I advised them not to tell any of their other friends what they had gotten up to since they would probably get the wrong reputation and drove them within a block of one of the kid’s houses so the parents didn’t know they had been caught.
Dispatched to a Suspicious Activity. Car parked on a residential street at night – cold as hell outside and rainy. Not sure what was suspicious but complainant didn’t want to be contacts. I find the car and pull up behind the same time a second unit pulls up in front and we light them up. Hmm – don’t see anybody in the car. Look around to make sure somebody isn’t coming up on us – nope. I look in backseat and see blankets moving. What the… Bang on window and finally a head pops up. Teen kid who didn’t look to have a stitch on. Okey doke – by yourself naked in a car. Then hear a voice. Oh! Someone else. He says yes he and his girlfriend were having fun. Yes, they’re both naked. Well, no biggie.
About then, she opens the door and bolts! Buck naked running between houses. We don’t know if she has warrants, or what, but know she’ll freeze to death pretty quick. I ask why she ran as other squad gives chase, but kid is as surprised as we were! This girl is a f’n track star. We get two other squads involved and after 20 minutes find her, near frozen, in a storage shed.
The reason she ran? She recognized my voice and knew me from church. The pastors daughter. Nice. We told her she was stupid, could have died, got 4 squads involved, etc. I never said a word to the other officers about who she was and never mentioned it after to her. Just smiled when I saw her every Sunday.
In high school we used to street race most every weekend, and on this particular weekend we were down in Long Beach. The cops show up and everyone scatters, but I get blocked in by my friend’s car and it gives the cops enough time to block both of our cars in, leaving me and him and a few other friends stuck.
So, obviously street racing is illegal. You don’t even have to be in a car doing the actual racing to be ticketed/arrested. And on top of that, they typically hit you with a host of fix-it tickets even if they don’t bust you for racing. So the cops jump out and sit us all down on the curb and start asking us what we’re doing. We haven’t even started to answer him when he starts telling us, “…and don’t tell me you were just passing through, or that you got lost. We’re not stupid.” He then proceeds to tell us that if we would just tell the truth, the cops would be so much easier on us. They know we’re down here racing and checking out cars and learning about parts and all that. If we wouldn’t lie so much, we’d like get off with a warning, but instead the cops get lied to all the time and it’s insulting. So they ticket us.
So, he’s been lecturing us for about 5-10 minutes, throwing in a few digs along the way and we’re all sort of laughing but also clearly still uncomfortable with the situation that likely involves us getting some tickets and stuff. So he turns to me and and asks which car is mine. I point and he says, “Ok, here’s the deal. We’re gonna run a quarter here and if you win, everyone here gets to go home. If you lose, I’m giving you and your friend some fix-it tickets…about 14 in total if i’m counting correctly.” So I’m nervous as ever about this but I agree. My friend goes out to call the start. Another drives down a quarter mile to mark the finish, and we get set. And… I win. So, I’m coming back to the start, and I pull up (cops already back) and as I’m getting out, the cops jump out and announce that we’re all going to jail. We’re all standing there, mouths open I’m sure, and then one of the cops starts laughing and tells us they’re joking.
They proceed to lecture us for a little longer about how street racing is dangerous but they understand and they were kids once and be careful and all that… Then they yell out “Strong Beeeaaach!” Peel out, and disappear.
I was called to a residence where the complainant stated that a child from down the street had brought an item to their house and she was at a loss.
Upon arrival I made contact with complainant and she relayed this story. “I was washing dishes and I looked out the window where all the girls (neighborhood girls between 6-9 yrs old) were playing on the trampoline. They were using a large rubber penis shaped device to hit each other. I ran out and grabbed it and turned it off.”
The kids had no clue what it was and in their defense it was purple with sparkles and other inlays. Kinda pretty if not for the fact it was a 10″ rubber dildo.
Well I secured the item in an evidence bag and no crime having been committed I made a command decision to return it to the owner. I took it and rolled it up in said evidence bag in such a way it would unroll when held by the top. I then knocked on the dildo-owners door and when she answered I snapped it down. Using by most curt cop voice I said. “Ma’am your daughter secured your personal item and was accosting your neighbors children with it about the face and neck. At this time your neighbor does not wish to pursue charges, however I will need you to sign this evidence form (it was very detailed description) so I can return your personal item.”
I have never seen someone show so much embarrassment and humiliation as that lady did. She could not even speak or look at me. The best part was this other lady that was deeper in the residence that kept insisting on knowing what was going on.
There was a sheriff here in my hometown (~2000 population) who had guard duty at the local jail on Thanksgiving. When he was handing out the dinner trays to the inmates, he dropped one and spilled the food everywhere. Since he was already pissed off about having to work that night he said screw it and let all the inmates out to go eat Thanksgiving dinner with their families. They just had to be back when they were done. All of them came back except for two.
This was years ago. You can’t do that stuff nowadays.
My dad is a goofy fun guy. He’s been a cop for almost 30 years now and he loves his job cause he gets to be out in the community and make a difference. The guy is gonna retire next month and he’s stoked he gets to play battlefield and go on vacation.
Anyway, he gets a call one night about some teenagers vandalizing a park. Dispatch lets him know that its a lady that calls 24/7 thinking she’s the neighborhood watch. So as he cruises in towards this park he comes in all lights blacked out and watches from a distance. After a couple minutes of watching he realizes these people are playing hide and seek. They also look a little older than just teenagers. He gets out of a car and sneaks up to some of them hiding in a group behind some trees and bushes. My dad hunkers down behind them and one of them looks back and sees him. The kid freaks out and starts to run and my dad grab’s him and says “Dude shut up or the other team will find us!” The guys crack up cause now they realize my dad is down to win this game. He ends up playing hide and seek with this group of 21 year olds for the next hour.
The best part was about 6 months later. I’m having a Halloween shindig at my house and my dad stops by cause he wants to score some burgers off us while he’s at work. He walks in and a guy at the party is like “Holy, your dad is officer! He played hide and seek with us!”
My brother was once jumping his bike off the end of the public boat dock behind the city hall which also housed our police station, they had it tethered so it wouldn’t get lost on the bottom.
A cop came out, watched for a while and said, “I’m fairly certain something about that is illegal, but I can’t figure out what and it looks like fun, so be safe” and walked back inside.
So I pull up on an SUV one night about 2am. Inside there are four teenage boys. The parking lot is pitch black, no businesses nearby are open, and they are sitting there with no lights on. I approach them, and get several more units there quickly, cause something is about to go down. When enough of my peeps get there, we get them out of the car.
They are….unshakingly polite, respectful, and cooperative…and actually allow us to search their car, and then their pockets.
We find nothing. Not even an odor of marijuana.After exhausting ourselves going through this car, I eventually cave and ask them what the heck they were doing, because I thought for sure they were up to no good, and I was coming up zilch.
They had gone to the 711, and bought a big tub of trail mix. They were sitting in the car eating trail mix. They showed me the receipt for ten minutes prior and half eaten tub of trail mix.
I told them this was the weirdest stuff I’ve ever seen and apologized that I ran them through the ringer. They agreed that parking in a dark parking lot eating trail mix looks sketchy, and didn’t have hard feelings about the ordeal.
Me and my high school girlfriend at the time decided to spend all night hanging out and running around local parks and stuff, lots of fun. We ended with breakfast and I decided to drop her off after. I was driving this tiny Nissan pickup truck with a bench seat. She wanted to cuddle so she didn’t put on her seat belt and, instead, leaned across the seat and rested her head on my lap, very sweet and cute. Minutes after leaving the parking lot a police officer is following us and turns on his lights. She panics, sits up, and discretely puts on her seat belt.
Once pulled over, the police officer, a young guy, comes up and looks in the window at her, “How old are you?” She says, “18” and he asks me to step out of the car. I think I’m about to get a big ticket for not wearing a seat belt. Tells me “I saw you driving kind of unsteady and once I put on my lights, I see a young girl’s head pop up through the cab window. So, I know why you’re driving unsteady.”
I’m in shock at the implication.
“I was your age not too long ago, and I get it, you guys like each other a lot, she’s a pretty girl, you’re just having fun. What I’m concerned about is that she’s the proper age, and that you know other old school officers would nail you for public indecency/reckless driving/something like that? So I want you to make sure, in the future, you’re wearing protection, gotta stay safe, and concentrate on your driving when you’re driving, gotta stay safe. Okay buddy? Go have an awesome day.”
I was speechless, especially because about 10 minutes before, she and I actually did have a quickie in the parking lot that absolutely would have gotten us screwed over.
When I was a teen (living in the Phoenix area) we would fill up the back of a pickup with shaved ice from behind the ice-rink and then build snowmen in people’s yards. We would do it at night before ringing and driving away.
One time, a neighbor called the cops after hearing a group of teens sneaking around outside. The cop came by and found out what we were doing. Instead of getting after us, he told us to follow him somewhere. We ended up making a snowman in his own front yard. He rang the doorbell and hid around the corner while his wife came to the door and then his kids came out.
Back in college my nerd crew and I would routinely do odd things, mostly to freak out the normies, but also out of boredom.
One night we’re in a parking lot we get the cops called on us because there’s about 20 of us engaged in a massive melee with foam swords.
The cops show up, ask us some questions and then leave. A half hour later they show up again. Apparently their shift just ended and they wanted in on the action. They even brought pizza.
While in college we got the police called on us for a violent crime in progress.
When they pounded on our door we opened and they barged in. The neighbor reported hearing people yelling things like, ‘Shut up you! I’m going to kill your twelve year old butt!’ Along with a girl screaming profanity. When the cops saw it was three guys and a girl drinking and playing Halo the one just looks at the others in sheer disbelief.
The cop starts to tell us they were called in for a murder in progress and tell us how we need to be more careful and whatnot because it could have ended badly. During this time my friend is still on the headset and the other guys we were playing with are wondering what the hell is going on and are hassling him…and then my friend says with the cop in the room, ‘We were apparently killing you so badly somebody had to call the cops.’ And the cops just can’t hold it in and start cracking up.
They did give us a noise warning but no citations.
A few years ago a friend and I were walking home through a residential estate, drunk, after a night out. About half way home a police car pulls up next to us and says they need to talk to us. They say that CCTV in the area had observed us entering several front gardens.
We then drunkenly explained that we had been going in to peoples gardens and swapping around flower pots, hanging baskets and garden ornaments with their next-door neighbours.
One of the cops was laughing a lot and the other seemed really confused. Luckily they got another call and let us carry on our way.
I rolled up on a group of kids trespassing on a patch of land at night. They didn’t know they were technically breaking the law because there was no signage where they came in. I planned to tell them they needed to leave, but one of them took me aside and told me they were taking an out-of-town friend on a snipe hunt as a much deserved act of revenge. I couldn’t resist and joined in.
Winks and nods were exchanged, I called my shift on a radio back channel and the snipe hunter was called front and center. I informed him that the snipe is an endangered species and the act of hunting one was a felony punishable by 10 years in prison and a $10000 fine. All of his conspirators denied snipe hunting, saying that they were just stargazing and didn’t know the guy doing the hunting. He was standing there, wide-eyed and literally holding the bag with his snipe stick in the other hand. He stuttered and stammered an excuse and insisted the conspirators were lying. About that time, three more cruisers appeared, lights and all. As if choreographed, we all stepped aside and the sheriff himself made an entrance and assessed the situation. Dead silence.
After he made the inquiries, we all busted out laughing. The whole otherwise very slow night was captured in a group picture, complete with the victim, his friends, my shift, and the sheriff.
Responded to a call about a suspicious vehicle. It was in an area where a neighborhood was supposed to be built but they ended up cancelling it so now there’s just roads there. When I arrived I noticed a car sitting on one of the back roads but it was empty. I and another officer drove down a path that goes into the woods that was behind where the car was. I noticed something moving in the woods so we got out of our cars and looked.
Turns out some teenagers bought one of those inflatable dinosaur costumes and were filming their own version of Jurassic Park. They were super nice kids. I called the owner of the land and explained the situation. He was totally fine with it and the other officer and I sat and watched them for a little. Just told them to not stay out there after dark; usually crackheads will go out there and get high at night time. I got the kid’s youtube channel name, hopefully he’ll post it soon so I can watch it.
My friend had a bunch of prop arms and legs in his car (you know, college). He and his other friend were trespassing in the Northfield Tunnels and when they get back to the car there is a cop waiting. He asks to see in the trunk so they open it.
He jumps back a sec, but quickly realizes they arms and legs are fake and he hasn’t caught some serial killers, then gives them a very stern “shut up” look as he calls his partner from the car to “come look at this” all shakey-voiced, as he tells my friend and his friend to put their hands up, hella serious. The other cop comes over, looks in the trunk and freaks out, screams, and runs away back to the car.
At which point the first cop bursts out laughing and tells my friends “haha… he was… hahahaha He was in Vietnam… hahaha” and does a “get out of here” gesture and sends them on their way.
So basically he used my friend to pull a super cruel practical joke on his partner.
My brother was a cop who worked nights in Minneapolis. One snowy night near the U of M campus he noticed a car weaving, so he pulled them over thinking there would be alcohol involved. Nope it was a car full of deaf people having an argument which included the driver. He just told the driver to not sign and drive…
I was 20 at the time, and at an outdoor party at a friends. Late fall, 50 degrees or so, no leaves left on the trees. Roughly 50-60 people, mostly underage, most were drinking. My friends parents lived in a nicer part of a bad area, and owned an inflatable bounce house business. They had EVERYTHING set up. A bounce house, sumo suits, massive slide, all sorts of drunken fun stuff. Around 1030 it’s getting loud and the police show up. Someone yells “COPS. RUN!!!” and everyone starts running. I decide to join the crowd, and end up hiding in a bush with two people. Then, reality hits. I’m wearing a white hoodie, the guy next to me has on a neon yellow hoodie, and this girl has a glow necklace on. The bush? Not a leaf on it. Right then a cop walks up, starts laughing and asks “Really guys??” and shines a flashlight directly on us. He instructs us to head back to the driveway with the other captives, and gives all of us a pretty hilarious speech.
“Seriously? We are the Flint police department. We have a million things better to do rather than chase down drunk minors. We had 2 murders just this week. We were just coming by to tell you to keep the noise down. Now we are pouring out all your beer and calling your parents. Now we’re even.”
Didn’t give out any tickets, just poured out all the beer and called everyones parents.
I was part of the PPPAA. Triple P double A. Parking lot Ping Pong Association of America. We had a quick mobile setup. Rolling into well lit parking lots and beginning to play. About midnight we get started in the Savemart parking lot one day. I worked here and know the manager. He (the manager) comes out a bit after and recognizes me. Asks what the heck we are doing. A short explanation later he is playing too. Not only is he in, he is rocking two of paddles and beating us two on one. He was about to be pro tennis back in his day before a knee injury. He kicks our butts.
During the match a cop rolls up and inquires just what the hell is going on. My boss turns to him and says “Unless the owner files a trespassing complaint I am the acting head, and this activity is sanctioned.” Rather befuddled, the young officer returns to his cruiser. A short time goes by and several other officers show up. Most don’t even exit their vehicles. They just watch. I can imagine officer one upon returning to his car got on the radio with something along the lines of “You guys gotta come see this.” It was a glorious night that I will never forget. Triple P double A at its finest.
I was a cop in the air force. We had just gone into a higher FPCON (threat level) and around 11:00 at night I saw three people in an empty dark field near some power lines with shovels and a garden hoe. My partner and I decided to stop them and see what was going on, because it didn’t look like civil engineering or anyone that should be there at that hour.
So we go up, see that they’re all about 14-15 years old and they’re all sweating and out of breath. We ask what they’re digging for, and the say there weren’t digging, which after looking around we didn’t see any dug up dirt. So my partner asks what they’re doing, and the hesitantly answer that they were LARPing. One of their dad’s shows up and scolds them, telling them how shady they look, apologizes to us and we send them all back to the dad’s house, which was about a hundred yards away. I hold back my laughter until I get back to the car, where I have to explain to my partner what LARPing is and why I’m laughing.
Some buddies and I were launching rockets out of a soccer park (that was empty at the time). Well, the nosy neighbor across the road called the cops and told them we were shooting off fireworks (in broad daylight). Anyways a cop shows up and starts to talk to us. We show him all of our rockets, our safety gear, and flight journals that a friend of mine was keeping. The cop goes back to his car and watches us launch a few rockets as we weren’t breaking any laws.
About ten minutes later, his off-duty chief showed up in his personal vehicle and joined us in launching rockets. Later he told us that he had dozens of unfinished rockets and if we wanted were welcome to have them if we promised to invite him to the launch. About a year later, my friend (who kept the journals) had most of them complete. Now, these rockets were expensive rockets that were replicas of actual ones. The chief was happy to see them all in flight and told us that he’ll make sure we weren’t bothered in the future.
Then he shot us…. a smile!
Got a noise complaint call where the neighbors inform dispatch the parents are out of town and suspect underage drinking and or possible drug use. (These types of calls are the worst because you can almost guarantee someone is puking in the back of your car and you’ll have to write a buttload of local ordinance paper). We roll up, throw the overheads on to scatter as many as possible and make a slow walk up to the front door. We play the “nobody’s home” game for awhile until one of the kids lets my partner in the back door.
We subsequently find around 12 teenagers and what appears to be multiple bottles of rum and vodka as well as several baggies containing marijuana and some pills. Upon further inspection, we find the liquor bottles have been emptied and filled with water, the marijuana is actually oregano and parsley and the pills were just aspirin. They were having a pretend party to put on social media but the strongest thing in the room was a Redbull.
We were doing laps around a pond with a rope tied to my jeep and another person wakeboarding behind holding on to the rope. The police officer pulled up on the nearest road, flashed his lights and motioned for us to come over to him.
When we got there he just said, “That looks like a hell of a good time but I’m getting tired of dispatch getting calls about y’all. Sorry guys, save up some money and buy a boat.”
My brother is a cop and he told me one time he got a call around 9:30 in the morning for a suspicious person sitting in their car in a neighborhood. My bro goes up to him and asks what he’s doing. Dude is waiting for his wife to leave for work so he can go back home and play WoW all day instead of go to his own job. My bro tells him to go wait somewhere else because he’s freaking out the neighbors.
Some of this material has been edited for clarity.