Recently, a reddit user (bcbrought96) finished Adam Kisiel’s self-help book “How to be an Attractive Man, and decided to share some of the key pieces of advice he picked up.
The book is angled toward men, but a lot of the advice is universal for anybody who generally wants feel more confident in themselves! If you enjoy this list, please consider purchasing the ebook on Amazon.
All credit and ideas from this post go to Adam Kisiel.
1. Face cream. Wear a face cream with UVA/UVB protection, at least SPF 15 every day to prevent wrinkles. It won’t stop you from tanning and will keep you looking youthful.
2. Groom your eyebrows (whenever they look scruffy).
3. Whiten your teeth, either at the dentist, or with a whitening kit. These can be purchased quite easily.
4. Be honest about your hair. If it’s receding, don’t try to hide it. If you’re balding, just go for a buzz-cut or the full shave. If it’s thinning and you’re not ready to let it go, keep it short. Embrace who you are.
5. Sleep 7-8 hours night. Keep a regular sleep schedule. You will feel better.
6. If you wear glasses, match them to your face size. Rule of thumb: the frame shape contrasts the shape of your face, frame size should match the size of your face. Go for simple, classic looks.
7. Cut your nose hair monthly (or whenever they start sticking out).
8. Stop touching your face. It can spread acne (and leads to scarring if you’re picking at them) and makes you look insecure.
1. Eat right. Figure out what this means for you. Eat more vegetables, fresh fruit, and whole, unprocessed grains. Cut down on the fried food. Track what you put in your body, if it helps you.
2. Stop eating sweets and snacks all of the time. Let the treats be treats.
3. Drink a lot of water. It’s surprising how many people do not drink enough water. Buy a nice reusable water bottle and take it with you everywhere.
4. If you drink, opt for wine over beer. In moderation, it’s good for the heart, less calorific than beer, and pairs with quality food.
5. If the weather is tolerable and walking/biking is an option, then walk or bike. Good rule of thumb is if you can get there in 20 minutes or less walking or biking, then walk/bike.
6. Exercise. Just start with two days a week, an hour a day. Do some cardio or some lifting. You can go on hikes, bike rides, runs. Just move!
7. Speaking of exercise, go to the gym if you can afford it. You’ll have access to a ton of equipment and the atmosphere can serve to push you harder. Also a great place to meet people!
8. Take care of your feet. Cut your toenails regularly, and wash them when you shower. No one likes stinky feet.
9. Posture. Get in the habit of walking with a straight back. Start reminding yourself to straighten your back throughout the day. This can really pay off.
10. Get rid of the belly. Try to burn more energy than you consume. This can mean being more active, or consuming less carbs.
11. Go running. Even once a week is fine. Don’t make it a chore, focus on enjoying it! You can sprint, jog, or alternate between walking and running. Your body was made for this.
12. Stop smoking. You already know the reasons why. If you can’t quit, switch to vaping.
1. Read at least one book a month. Surely there is something you’ve been meaning to read? What are you interested in? Go to a bookstore or a library. Download the ebook. Or just surf the web and find a great book that interests you. Sites like goodreads.com can be a great resource.
2. Travel. Get out and see whatever it is you can see. Let your scope expand to your budget. If money is tight, become a local expert on cool places near you.
3. Instead of buying cool stuff, consider spending your money doing cool stuff. If people want to be around you because of your stuff, then they aren’t really friends. Maybe dine out with friends, treat yourself to a massage, or go to a concert with friends.
4. Be empathetic toward others. Think about the interests, feelings, and motivations of others frequently. You can really learn something by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.
5. Keep up with on what’s going on around your city/town. This way when you’re on a date, with friends, or just bored, you’ll know what’s going on and where to be.
6. Do things you enjoy, often. Do things that make you happy. Like to sleep? Take a nap. Like watching Netflix? BINGE MY FRIEND.
7. Mix up your entertainment. If you’re always out with your friends, read a book. Try out a new TV show, play a sport you’ve never tried. Stimulate your brain with variety.
8. The world isn’t going to come to you. Don’t stay at home too much. Be where other people are.
9. Make stuff happen! Most people tend to shy away from initiating things. Be the one to set something in motion. Call your friends! Invite people out! They will most likely appreciate the invite.
10. Learn some cool go-to places to take friends, family, dates, clients, etc. Have a good coffee shop, restaurant, bar, park, etc. Know your city.
1. Be self-confident. Even if you’re just faking it (because everybody else likely is too.) Smile, relax, and keep your composure. You are going to be fine.
2. Try things for yourself, have your own opinions, and express them openly without any fear. Don’t follow the majority because everybody is doing it, and don’t reject what is popular just because everybody likes it. Base your actions and decisions on what you find right. Do the research.
3. Embrace challenges. When tasked with something that you’ve never done before, don’t just give up. Try it, and try your best. Worst case scenario, you’ve gained some experience. Experience is (mostly) a good thing.
4. Stop thinking negatively all the time. Everyone fails in life. Probably a lot. That’s just probability, but that’s also the cost of success.
5. When you do fail, don’t be afraid to try again. Take your new knowledge/experience and take a more educated try.
6. Don’t rely on stereotypes. The main function of stereotyping is making one feel better about oneself by depreciating others. Don’t comfort yourself by the perceived flaws of others. Get to know people, they will surprise you.
7. Remember that people are people. They have their own motivations, desires, prejudices, and thoughts. Treat people as people.
8. Get closer to the people and things that make you smile and laugh. Laugh daily. It’s healthy and everybody loves a good laugh. It’s infectious.
9. When other people talk, listen. Be confident enough to truly be present and listen to people; don’t use the other person’s turn in the conversation to think about what you plan to say next.
1. Shower everyday. Buy a body scrub, get some simple soap, and scrub yo body!
2. Eliminate bad breath. In addition to flossing and brushing daily, be sure to brush or scrape your tongue. If you have white discoloration on your tongue, you most likely have bad breath. Brush that stuff off.
3. Use deodorant, always. Find a cologne that suits you. Splurge on this if you can. When you do find your cologne, use it. People will start to associate this smell with you.
4. Clean your ears, including trimming any excess hair poking out of them.
5. If you sweat a lot, try to fight your excessive perspiration. If deodorant isn’t cutting it, ask your doctor about professional antiperspirants. They usually will have something to help.
6. Have a few towels and change them at least once a week. Always keep a fresh spare too, in case someone who is over needs one. Throw them in the laundry frequently. Stinky towels will make you stinky.
7. Don’t use cheap razors. Go for normal razors with sharp and durable blades. A high quality razor will be a worthwhile investment.
1. Learn a sport. If you have a friend to do it with, do it together. If not, find something you can do solo. It can be anything, as long as its something that you will enjoy and constantly look forward to.
2. Do as many ordinary daily activities as you can outdoors. Eat outdoors. Read a book in the park. Go on a walk with your business partner instead of meeting in the office.
3. Have a hobby. Or two. What turns you on? What makes you feel alive, excited, thrilled? What keeps you up at night? Find that and do it.
4. Learn how to cook. Of course you are not expected to learn everything, but take the time to learn a few basic skills. These will will allow you to throw some meals together in case you ever need to cook for a guest or two.
5. Explore music genres that are different from what you currently like. Ask a friend for some of their favorite songs. (This should generally apply to books, movies, games as well — just keep exploring.)
6. If you can afford it and you feel up to it, adopt an animal from a shelter. Be responsible for it, feed it, groom it, make sure it gets proper medical care, and enjoy a new best friend.
7. Clean your home once a week. A nice and clean looking home makes you feel a lot better and look a lot better. Also you will be prepared for an unexpected guest.
8. Get rid of things you do not use. Decluttering is key. Perhaps donate some old stuff or clothes you no longer need.
9. Assign a separate bin/section of closet for clothes “that you have already worn but are still clean enough to wear again.” This will help reduce a huge daunting laundry pile.
10. Try to diversify income sources. This is certainly easier said than done, but if you can find a way to make even a tiny bit of money doing something you really like to do, then make that side income.
11. Get rid of services that suck up your wallet. How many online services are you subscribed to? How many of them do you use? Look back at them and decide if you really need them. Cut the cords if need be.
12. Treat yourself every once in a while. If there’s something you really want to do, but, you feel it is too expensive or unnecessary just do it. Life is about spending your time in pleasant and meaningful ways. YOLO dog.
13. You’ve made it to the end of the list. So… do it. Make a plan. Choose which ideas you can incorporate in your routine and make them happen. You will feel better, and will have accomplished a goal.
Some of this material has been edited for clarity. All credit and ideas from this post go to Adam Kisiel. Link to ebook here.