It’s a crazy world we live in. And things like these just reinforce the fact. Below are the most unforeseen bizarre incidents that happened in public while the people narrating them just happened to be there.
My husband and I were in a mall in the DC area in the early 90’s. At that time, a celebrity-athlete was hyping Tyson chicken products near the Mall food court. We took a look – “Oh, hey, that’s Mary Lou Retton” and walked past.
Out of a service door comes a man in a crumbled worn out chicken costume, led by a girl in tie dye and dread locks. Sensing an epic misfortune about to unfold, I grab my husband and follow them back to the food court.
The chicken throws a water balloon or something filled with red liquid resembling (might have actually been) blood at Mary Lou Retton and her crew as they are frying up delicious Tyson chicken in front of a crowd of soccer moms and their kids.
The girl shouts something about Tyson being serial murderers and in an instant the chicken is underneath a large security guard. As they are leading the chicken away, his girlfriend is shouting “Don’t hurt him! Stop choking the chicken!”
I was waiting in front of a truck stop back in the mid 80’s, sitting on a park bench with a guy that had a big Rottweiler on a leash. I tried to make small talk but he was quite a sourpuss. So we sat in silence for a few minutes until the most unexpected thing I have ever seen happened.
While we were sitting there a big 18 wheeler pulls in without a trailer and the driver parks it up front like a normal car would. Inside the cab of the truck with the driver is a little monkey.
Well the dog spots this lil monkey and proceeds to go crazy over it. Lunging at the end of his leash and barking at the top of his lungs. Making a real spectacle of himself to say the least.
The driver is obviously upset, but not nearly as much as the monkey is. In retrospect I think eagerly aggressive may be a more appropriate description for the monkey’s disposition. He was pacing the dashboard back and forth, never taking his eyes off of this very aggravating dog.
The driver opens his little triangle window that they don’t make on cars anymore, the ones made for smokers back in the day. And yells out to this douche bag to call his dog off because it is upsetting his monkey. The guy laughs and says no way his dog ain’t bothering nobody. The dog hasn’t shut up since he laid eyes on the monkey. I promise you he is bothering everybody for several blocks around.
Now here’s where things start to get interesting. The driver says that if he doesn’t call his dog off he’s gonna let his monkey loose on that dog. Douche bag laughs and says that his dog would eat that monkey alive. Upon hearing this the driver leans over and reaches into his glove box, pulls out one of those tiny baseball bats like you used to get at Astroworld or carnivals, and places it in the monkeys hand.
The monkey obviously knows what’s about to go down because he is now trying to squeeze out of that little triangular window I mentioned earlier. This monkey has murder in his eyes. Driver hollers “Last chance to save your dog.” In response douche bag lets his dog off of the leash. Now we have a situation that has escalated to the point where we have a dog jumping up at the window and a monkey screaming profanities right back at him.
The driver finally rolls down the regular window and out leaps a miniature primate hell. The dog never knew what hit him. In a flash this monkey is riding the back of this dog’s neck. His two back feet all wrapped up on the dog’s neck fur with one hand hanging onto an ear and the other hand steadily and mercilessly raining down blows about this dog’s head and face. Blows so hard you can hear them.”Whap.” “Whap.” “Whap.”
It only took a moment for the dog to realize the monkey was way out of league. He bolts yelping and runs away at full speed. The monkey is still riding him and beating him the whole time. Douche bag acts like he wants to fight now but several people including myself step in to stop this nonsense.
In a couple of minutes or so the little monkey comes loping back with his little bat still in hand and leaps up into the still open window of the truck to await his master who has gone on into the store.
That dog owner runs to try to find his dog. My ride showed up and I left. I don’t know if he ever found his dog.
I was having a new exhaust put onto my car by a small specialty shop in Buffalo, NY. We dropped it off and then said we would just go walk around for a couple hours till it was done. Staff advised us not too as it was a rough area. We were 19, and from Canada, and didn’t know much about that area then.
After walking through a couple blocks of burnt houses, and straight out of movies type ghetto, we decided to turn around and get back to the shop ASAP!
We go around a corner only to see a group of 5 large, thuggish looking young Black men ahead of us. They notice us, turn and walk in our direction.
Instant brick shitting, do we run, do we plead for our lives?
We decide to do the Canadian thing and just keep walking like nothing’s going to happen. The “gang” reaches us in a few seconds, kind of does a half circle around the two of us, there is no escape, only robbery or death.
What appears to be the leader makes contact “Yo, we got a question for you guys!”.
We sheepishly reply”uhhh yea?”
“Whats the plural form of Penis? Penises?”
“uhhh…I think so.”
One of the other gang members blurts out “See I told you man!” as they all kind of laugh and thank us, tell us to have a good day and continue walking.
I’m walking down the street in my city and these two guys are walking towards me, laughing their lungs off. They can’t walk straight, going totally hysterics.
Guy #1 reaches over and taps his friend on the shoulder. Guy #2 looks over and Guy #1 signs something in sign language. This sends Guy #2 off into hysterics again, like when you’re laughing so hard you can’t walk, your stomach hurts and what not.
I stopped dead in my tracks as these two get close and watch them walk by laughing so hard but neither of them making any sound.
I was driving out in the boonies and I saw a man towing a late 80’s Honda with another late 80’s Honda.
Now this wasn’t such an odd thing to see in the area. If you couldn’t afford the tow truck, you just got a buddy, some rope and another car. As long as you always braked carefully and slowly the guy behind could also brake, and the bumpers would only touch a bit. There would be some scratches, but nothing you couldn’t live with.
This man was doing this task solo though. Also not unheard of, but it requires even more caution with braking. Brake slightly so the car behind you contacts the bumper, and then slowly apply the brakes even more.
Now I don’t know how long the man had been doing this for, but he was going at about 45 mph, so he must have been pretty confident with his abilities. However, when the deer leaped out into the road, his reflexes took over and he slammed on the brakes, leaving the second car to slam into his first car. He was fine and the deer was fine too, but both cars got wrecked.
Have you ever had a malfunctioned solenoid panel in your starter motor?
Solenoid is what starts the car and what happens if it is not working properly is when you turn the key you hear nothing, not even a click. So what you need to do when the solenoid panel is a little loose is get someone to turn the key in the car while you smack the panel, which is usually quite far down in the engine, I used to use a tent pole in my old Corolla.
This car I had however was a 1976 Mitsubishi Galant Coupe. An awesome hunk of steel. I was parked in a car park underneath a super market with the car’s nose pretty close to the cement wall, about a meter. The car would not start and I knew, from my years with the Corolla, what was wrong. I had no one to turn the key though. So I found some locking pliers and locked them around the key and the weight of them turned the key enough to be in the on position. I walked around to the front of the car and smacked the solenoid panel with something I had found. Left the stupid car in gear – my hunk of solid 70’s steel started attempting to turn over pushing the car towards me and the brick wall behind me. I jumped out of the way, but couldn’t save the wall, and my hunk.
I worked at Check into Cash for a little while. I was running a field call – that’s where I go to people’s house to collect money when they were late or skipped out.
I turned a corner and the next thing I saw was this dark skinny girl falls out of a window with no cloths on. While I am still trying to figure what’s going on, a big black lady comes out with a toaster and throws it at the naked lady running away. A skinny white naked dude comes flying out of the house as well. The big black lady turns around and kicks the white dude in the nuts.
Everyone went back inside. The lady I needed to see was directly above them. Laughing she says, “That happens ALL THE TIME.”
During Halloween one year I decided to hit up Mill Ave in Tempe, a strip of shops, bars and clubs right next to my university. There was a church group there, reenacting the crucifixion of Jesus and generally calling out for people to repent and condemning the “pagan holiday of halloween.”
The group was really into this, they had props with fake blood, roman soldiers, a huge cross with a guy dressed as Jesus hanging from it; everything.
What was so funny was this. There was this guy dressed as the devil standing in almost in front of them with a clip board. On the clip board were contracts for your soul. He was buying them for $5. He had a line of people selling him their souls.
The church group was in complete shock. I mean, they looked on the verge of tears every time someone signed the contract. They were begging and pleading with people to not do it. I stood and watched this for about an hour. It was absolutely priceless.
Probably the greatest troll I have ever witnessed.
Me and my brother were sitting on a bench waiting for the subway in Boston.
Then, out of nowhere, the little old lady sitting next to us, on the same bench, ripped one of the loudest blasts from her butt trumpet that I have ever heard.
Then she just smiled and waved at us.
I live in a pretty small town and we have a local grocery store. I was driving home one night about 11 pm when I passed by the said grocery store and noticed a bunch of local country hicks had their trucks in a semi-circle with the headlights on. I stopped and peaked out of my window. In the headlights were 2 very obese women just going at each other. Clothing already ripped and now just beating each other. It was the strangest thing.
On my first ever business trip to San Francisco, I get off downtown and a fairly attractive man in a business suit walks up to me. He says, “You look like you are new in town, I can show you some jazz, do you want to go to an exclusive private jazz club?”
I took him up on it. I mean, why not?
When we got to the club, the woman at the door gave him a sneer, which I thought was odd, but she let us in. We sat down and the waitress kind of rolled her eyes. She asked us what we wanted to drink. He ordered a long island, I can’t remember what I ordered.
When she was gone, I looked down and noticed that he was wearing some really trashed out sneakers with his business suit. I thought, “Oh…this is gonna get weird.”
And I was right.
When the drinks came, he informed me that he must have misplaced his wallet. So I had to pay. No big deal, even though his Long Island was really expensive, but still, just money, whatever.
Then he tells me that he has to stay in buildings because the CIA is tracking him remotely, and that they want to kill him. The reason why they want him dead is that he used to work for the CIA as a paranormal investigator and that he can read minds from long distances.
I feel bad for him. He’s obviously mentally ill, so I just go along. But he says, “You don’t believe me, I can tell! Here I have proof. Here’s my CIA identification card.”
And he pulls out his ‘lost wallet’ and proceeds to show me a piece of notebook paper with random scribbles on it.
Well, OK then.
I finished my drink, and thanked him for the great opportunity (even though there was no Jazz, and the exclusive club was just an expensive bar). I wish him well and get the hell out of there.
I just got out of a movie in down town Parry Sound and all of a sudden a snow ball fight breaks out between the movie goers and the people sitting in the bar across the street. Had to be a good 20 to 30 people tossing snowballs across the street.
People were using parked cars for cover and sneak attacks. People who weren’t involved would get hit and join in. My girlfriend was hiding in a store front door when some old man threw a snow ball right at her face.
This went on for over a half hour. Even cars that were driving down the street were getting pelted from both sides. It was the greatest random occurrence and the biggest snowball fight I’ve ever experienced.
I was shopping for shoes with my mom in a multi level shoe store when I was about 14. I was on a different floor than my mother and was trying a pair on when some random kid walks up to me and starts beating me with Elmo slippers. Then he gives me a stare and walks away like nothing happened.
I once saw a man park his shopping cart between two parked cars on the side of the street. Then he walked into the middle of the 4 lane street and took a shit.
I was doing window shopping on Upper Street in Islington, London about 4 years ago. It was the middle of summer & I was just passing time going from shop to shop. I’m looking at some boots and my attention is grabbed by the reflection of a young, long haired blonde guy around 20 years old who all of a sudden looked physically stressed. I turn around. He’s blocking the path of an old man. The old man is wearing some old fashioned hat and has a grey beard & is looking equally stressed about this kid not letting him pass.
Two or three other people have now stopped around as it’s quite an odd looking scene. I’m just about to tell the kid to stop being a douche and get out of the way, when all of a sudden the kid finds his voice. With tears in his eyes he says, “My name is J. Flow, my parents are [something and something] Flow. My parents are deaf. Your name is (I can’t remember what he said). When I was a kid, you babysat both me and my sister. And you sexually abused both of us for years. I never thought I would see your face again. There is no way in hell I am letting you leave.”
The old man insists the kid has the wrong guy. The small crowd start to circle them both, some extra people have joined after hearing the speech. Some guy says to the old man, if you’re not who he says you are, just prove it – take out a credit card or something. The old man refuses.
I start to walk away from the crowd as one of the guy says, “Well, you’re not going anywhere until the police turns up” and calmly holds the old guy by the arm.
A man was “walking” down the sidewalk like a chicken, strutting and flapping his bent arms.
I stopped behind a building to avoid interacting and waited a while for him to pass. When I peaked around the corner of the building to make sure he was gone, there he was posed on one leg with one of his “wings” behind his back and the other tucked under his armpit. I got really scared and was taken aback. I just turned and went the other way then.
I wonder now why he wasn’t making clucking sounds.
I used to work at a funeral home and the town I was in had some really bad parts. We had one chapel that was across the street from a drug house. This drug house got raided by a full SWAT and about 30 other officers – bullhorns saying “come out of the house” and all that jazz, just as we were carrying a deceased outside to put in the hearse.
The whole grieving family had to see that spectacle. Swat raiding a drug house, crackheads running all over the place and then being tackled by police.
The really strange thing about this is that the funeral owner was always in communication with the police station because we would have to block some intersections of and on. So the police knew there was a funeral going on and decided not to wait another 45 minutes to bust this place that everyone knew was a drug house for at least 3 years.
Craziest thing I ever saw. In New York City there was a plain simple guy, just sitting on the edge of a fountain, eating his skimpy bum sandwich. He was wearing a simple T-shirt and jean I think.
Then out of nowhere a dude in a suit straight up DIVE TACKLES this guy into the fountain. The dude in the suit was completely horizontal through mid air for a moment while tackling. Then other guys in suit came running and jump into the fountain and helped the other suit guy kick the crap out of this simple guy. I start to walk towards them but they all ran off. Someone had already called the cops.
It was a halloween weekend a few years ago and I’m on my way to the bar with a few friends when we hear a LOT of shouting.
A group of 4 big mouthed guys are trying to start something with a guy dressed as spiderman outside a fish and chips restaurant. All we can understand is that they think the spiderman guy should quit his costume and grow up and that they would like to physically make him agree if he doesn’t himself.
So the guy dressed as spiderman drops his chips, showing no sign of being upset by the ordeal, and puts his fists up. As he does this, about 10 different guys dressed as comic book characters jump out of the restaurant and strike outlandish poses, ready to fight.
The four guys crap themselves. It was like one part of them doesn’t know how to process what’s going on, and the other part is screaming “Run!”. I mean, what would you do if you ended up in an accidental face off against 11 superheroes?
I and a lot of people there started cheering for our beloved super heroes. It was so much fun. I think this spiderman guy’s buddies were sitting inside the restaurant and could see things going south outside through the glass walls.
This one happened on the train at peak hour about a year ago. There was a little girl and her father, they had just dropped her big sister off at school and were heading back home. The little girl was crying and screaming for her sister while her father was trying his best to console her.
All of a sudden about four or so women in business suits (obviously mothers with children) began rummaging around in their handbags and pulled out toys for the little girl to keep her occupied. One woman even had several books and she began reading them to the little girl. The little girl continued to cry. An Irish woman a few seats away joined in to help. She began singing a song and clapping. As she was singing a few people began humming along.
She began singing louder and yelled “come on, everybody join in”. The whole carriage joined in singing and clapping, which stopped the little girl from crying and she began laughing. It was amazing.
I was loitering with a couple friends in a little village-style outdoor mall that’s pretty popular in my city. Without warning, a massive group of people turned the corner onto the street and started walking down it together at a brisk pace.
Not a flash mob, no one’s shirtless, just a group of what had to be three or four hundred people walking together. And as they’re walking the ones on the fringes of the train are calling out to passersby to join in. There’s no indication of where the group is going or why, and no one is explaining themselves or holding signs or anything.
We’re near the end of the street, watching more and more people latch onto the group out of sheer curiosity as it moves en masse towards us, and I said, “This looks fun, let’s go.” So we tacked on to the side of the train and followed it for ten minutes or so into the heart of the mall, where there’s a small park with a sculpture garden and a fountain. By that point there were way too many people to come close to fitting in the park. I would estimate at least a thousand packed together!
The guy who was leading the parade approached this young woman who was sitting on one of the benches there, who was looking pretty bewildered at being surrounded by hundreds of strangers. Another young guy who was with him, sort of a ringleader type, turned to face “us” as a group and started to shout-sing “Lean On Me.” With no idea what was going on, the rest of the group joined in until there were enough people to fill an auditorium all singing Lean On Me together to this complete stranger of a girl in the park.
We got about a minute in, to the end of the second chorus, before the guy’s friend shushed us by raising both hands, and everyone went dead silent.
Then the guy who was leading the parade got on one knee and proposed to the girl. She said yes. Everyone cheered and dispersed, more or less.
It’s one of my favorite memories, just because of the sense of being part of something greater, for no reason except that we were all human. With no idea where we were going or why, we still joined the parade of people and sang to this guy’s wife-to-be, because it was a fun thing to do.