Shout out to transgender community for embracing who they are and choosing to live their truth no matter what backlash they may receive from others.
The following transgender Ask Redditors share their experiences below.
Interested in reading more brave stories? You can find the original thread source at the end of the article.
“I’m a trans woman.
I think the biggest thing for me is having to remember that I need to be aware of my surroundings. If I’m out at night I can’t really just go about my business with headphones in, I have to keep myself out of dangerous situations where someone could take advantage of me.
I’ve been living as a woman for almost 2 years and I pass 99% of the time, but I lived as a male for 19 years and old habits die hard. I think I finally realized what women deal with when I went to a bar for the first time in my life a week ago and physically had to push away a guy groping everything he could reach.”
“I transitioned from a female to male. I’m a college professor and I see a real difference in how my students treat me. They don’t expect me to be nearly as ‘nice’ when it comes to making exceptions, give extra credit, etc. I’m the same person I always was, but now I’m held to a more lenient standard.
I’ve also noticed that they make up fewer technological related excuses (I did send it to you; the email must have gotten lost!) than before, which I find really insulting since it means that they apparently thought female me wasn’t very smart.”
“Transiting from male to female, affection and expression are a big ones.
Around female coworkers and friends, everyone is much more open about their problems. It’s like there’s a natural affinity that everyone shares.
Around male coworkers and friends, I found it was harder to confide in each other, and the only time it happened was when you were with someone that is very close. Even with really close childhood friends, it was rare amongst my guy friends to open up.
I don’t consider myself someone who likes to be intimate. I like to bottle things up and be by myself. But the first time I came out to another girl, I found crying and hugging out all my pent-up emotions was nothing compared to with with my male friends. It wasn’t the same reaction.”
“Im a transwoman who passes with minimal effort.
Presenting male, women would smile at me a lot and be very shy when talking to me. I was (more or less) ignored by men. I was treated like a ‘could be gay, but dates hot women, but is also a geek, we dont know what to do with him, military type’ kind of guy by my peers.
After transitioning, women are more of a mixed bag. Theyre sometimes friendly, sometimes glaring at me (hate or envy, Im not sure but its unnerving).
Overall they are much more comfortable talking and being around me though.
Men on the other hand… I get stared at constantly. I cant help but feel very self aware and paranoid.
They smile and are very friendly, that part is nice, but I dread coming across the aggressive types.
Sometimes they want to talk to me and I just want to be left alone but they just wont take the hint.
Older guys are the worst when it comes to respecting boundaries. Lowering my voice back into male range and telling them off while watching their reaction is a guilty pleasure of mine.
I only do that when theres people around though, the last thing I need is to get murdered by a trans-phobe.”
I’m a trans woman, and I don’t pass, so both being female and trans are in the mix of every experience I have.
I’ve been hit on, I’ve had people get in my face and not take no for an answer, I’ve been catcalled and wolf whistled at, and I’ve also had people shout insults and slurs at me because I’m trans.
And in every instance, I’ve realized that this could end really badly, like if I say or do the wrong thing, people can respond in unexpected, unpredictable ways. And that has left me feeling vulnerable and avoidant.
I mean I had experiences that left me feeling vulnerable as a guy too, but it’s just so much more of an every day experience now.”
“I transition from a female to male. People are kinda surprised now when I express emotions, and it’s annoying.
I also get taken more seriously in most conversations, even if I don’t really know what I’m talking about. Girls are less inclined to open up to me now, too, and I understand why but I miss being the person people trusted enough to share with. “
“I’ve transitioned from male to female and am in my early 20’s. I pass pretty well and am considered to be conventionally attractive (although I often don’t see it myself).
Women treat me basically the same. I was always ‘one of the girls’ anyways, so I’m not very surprised by women. I have noticed that I get randomly complimented by strangers fairly often even though I dress pretty androgynous and don’t wear makeup.
I never used to get compliments, so I’m always very awkward about it.
Men act very, very differently now. In general, they are so much more polite, kind, gentle and considerate of my feelings. On the flip-side, old men can be creepy as heck and really patronizing. Middle aged men tend to be a bit sexist, and guys who are 30 and below can be kind of sexually aggressive (or maybe I’m just shy, I don’t know).
I am really surprised by how often guys are fine with openly expressing their attraction to me. Either I pass really well, or they just don’t care that I’m trans. Either way, I’m cool with it.
The worst change is that when I’m having a bad day, people will inevitably tell me to smile and I frigging hate that.”
“The way men talk to me when they think Im a 20 something year old dude. (especially older men – 50s 60s) is vastly different than the way men talk to women.
I work in management and older men would typically approach me in past with a, ‘Hey sweetie or Hey young lady.’ Now its a lot more casual with a ‘Hey buddy or Hey man.’ There is a lot less condescending phrases and men seem to have a lot more patience with me – even if theres something that has made them mad at work.”
“I transitioned from a female to a male. There are ore bro fists, pats on the back and lots of “dude”, “man” and “bro” thrown into the mix. I’ve been transitioned for about 8 months now and I pass in public while wearing my binder. Thank God the cooler months coming up because wearing a binder in summer is no joke.
Other than that, there isn’t much change other than my own self becoming more comfortable with my body and thus being more extroverted and willing to get out of the house. And hair sprouting everywhere makes me pretty happy and I like to show off my sad scraggle moustache to my buds.”
“Once I came out as a transgendered male to my dad, he asked me if I wanted him to treat me with less care for my emotions, and wondered if he should start ‘raising me like a boy’ too. Obviously, I said no, because being raised as a woman was a privilege in so many ways. I would have never gone into therapy, and probably been successful in committing suicide all those years ago, because my emotions were recognized.
I assumed for a bit this was a dad specific deal but many people have started to treat me with slightly less consideration and delicacy that they would have before.
And while this benefits a lot, people overstep personal boundaries constantly and think I’ll be able to suck it up. I’m generally a sensitive person, and I cry over everything.
I cried a couple days ago because my cat surprised me by sleeping at the top of my closet, and I was so happy to see her face in a place I wouldn’t expect it that I started crying tears of joy.
I’m still the same sensitive lady I was a couple years ago, but now I’m a dude. The personality didn’t change at all, so it’s jarring to see people think that ‘witch_kid’s dead name’ is a completely different person than ‘witch_kid’.”
“Trans woman here. I’ve noticed a lot of things but a few spring to mind.
People are extremely nice: Women smile at me. Like, all the time. It’s not something I ever experienced living as a guy, unless I knew them or they were actually flirting with me. Now I can walk down the street and share lots of little smiles just as an acknowledgment.
Less nice: People assume I know less about things. Especially men, they like to explain a lot of things I already know to me.
Very not nice: Anonymous men on social media sites like to send me their junk and or make rape threats.”
“I’m a trans guy. I pass pretty much 100% now, save for the purposeful misgendering.
A big difference I see would be before I transitioned people would be kinda aggressive towards me. Especially high school aged guys. Now, they dont mess with me.
Also, people who know Im trans, treat me either like crap because they do not accept it at all or they are overly accepting to the point where its creepy and theyre fetishizing me without actually wanting to be intimate with me.
Theres a happy medium and it tends to be with my friends who are apart of the LGBTQ community.”
Points are edited for clarity.