No matter how good you are at something, there will always be someone who’s better than you, right? Well what about those people who are better than you at everything? Don’t they just grind your gears?
These Quora users responded to the question, “Have you ever known someone who was too perfect?” It seems like everyone has had their own jealousy-inducing experience with that “perfect” person!
[Source listed at the end of the article.]
(1/3) “I thought my buddy, Raj, was near perfection. Raj was drop dead handsome and spoke with this amazing, slightly Americanized accent that had girls swooning over him all the time. He scored about 99% in his physics, chemistry and mathematics exams in college without breaking a sweat and joked that he might have lost the 1% due to his bad handwriting.
He was an incredible guitarist, who refused to play epic solos (which he could even in his sleep) because he was afraid of girls throwing themselves on to him.
He was an incredible poet who created magic through words.
He was brilliantly funny and would have the entire class clutching their stomachs and groaning in agony from too much laughter.
He went to Cornell for an MS in Statistics before going to MIT for a PhD in Machine Learning.”
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(2/3) “He now works for Google in one of the companys core groups. I make algorithms, he told me once when I asked what he did at Google.
At the same time, he is still one of the nicest people Ive ever met; humble, simple, and extremely approachable.
He does a lot of charity in Mumbai, Calcutta, and Guwahati and regularly funds hospitals and schools in remote parts of the country.
He sends his parents on vacations abroad every year; each year to a new exotic place.
This is the stuff most of us dream of and Raj is living it.
But wait a minute: there’s a catch.”
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(3/3) “First of all, despite all his accomplishments Raj inhales the green stuff every day. He was always on it throughout college. It’s a real addiction.
He had a failed marriage because his wife found out he had been cheating on her.
He has been arrested for possession.
Well, from what I hear, Raj is clean now and has kind of straightened himself out. But you do see what I mean, right?
Perfection is a myth.”
(1/2) “There was a girl at my high school who was as seemingly perfect as one could get. She was pretty, had tons of friends, an amazing figure, good grades, a large social media following, was a star on the hockey team… the list goes on. She was nice, too, in a polite, composed sort of way.
This worked for her for a few years. Our school was single-sex and quite prestigious, and for a while the intense and competitive environment often felt like a contest for Who-Can-Be-The-Most-Perfect. Although she never tried out in any way, she was often praised by students and teachers alike for her good work ethic, impeccable appearance, and perfectly pleasant demeanor. As you might be able to tell, the word ‘perfect’ was thrown around a lot.
Unfortunately, I think it eventually went to her head, twisting her thoughts. She became resistant to change. I suppose it would be an easy position to take; if a flawless person cannot be improved, any alterations are damaging, right? Instead she became obsessed with sustaining her image.”
(2/2) “As school became more difficult, she studied harder, refusing to let her grades slip. People began describing her as vain–a word Id never before associated with her name–due to her new, unreasonable concern for her looks and social media persona.
Her friends became increasingly frustrated as she fretted over Instagram posts and projects and pimples, and eventually her group of admirers dwindled. I can only speculate that it was in response to this that her fixation with her body began, and continued to develop into body image issues.
In year 11 she was admitted to hospital as a result of her refusal to eat. She remained there for a few weeks, then spent a few months visiting specialists. She later moved schools, and from what I have been told and what I have seen from her (much less-used) social media accounts, she seems to have let go of ‘Perfection.’ Apparently, shes really happy.
In my experience, a person is too perfect when perfectionism consumes them.”
(1/2) “My little sister.
She is only 14 years old, but she has everything.
First of all, she is really smart. She follows the highest possible education and shes good at every single subject. Her report card consists of straight As. One might think, if someone is that smart, she must at least be bad at sports. But no, she is a star in athletics and practices about 4 times a week. Shes also very musical, she plays the accordion but is also a self-taught piano player. On top of that, she is also very pretty with big green eyes and a flawless face.
If shes so busy with school, music and sports, she must lack social skills, you’d probably think. But nothing is further from the truth. She is great with little children, but also with adults. She is kind, sweet, modest and has many friends at school. You get my point: shes perfect.”
(2/2) “It used to be hard for me. I often felt like I was living in her shadow. Despite the fact that my parents always guaranteed me that they dont compare their children, and that they love me just as much as her, I always felt like I was less worthy. Especially during the time I was struggling with school and it looked as if I was going to fail the school year. I wished I was more like her.
Nowadays I dont feel that way anymore. I have discovered my talents and Im happy with who I am. I am no longer jealous of my perfect little sister. She gets smarter and prettier everyday, and I couldnt be more proud.”
(1/3) “17 years ago, there was this guy in our class who joined us when I was in the 7th grade.
I was the top student at my school in 6th grade. Then from 7th grade to 10th, I came in 2nd; because our class got a new top student. I never did better than 85% in school, and he never got less than 95%. That was the benchmark set by him.
He could sing, play chess, and led the school cricket team. He won many essay writing competitions. Whatever he had touched, he became a perfectionist in that department.
He was the youngest and his father was a government employee. So he never suffered to get those things which we could only dream of during school time. As if he were born with a silver spoon.”
(2/3) “He earned those things and even after 17 years the teachers have not forgotten his name.
Amazing! Isnt it?
When someone creates a way too perfect image, we have to remember that we only see what that person shows us. The rest we never know until we really know them. You know what I am trying to say here? This guy had a mask on.
Here’s the reality check:
He was the meanest guy I have ever seen in my life. Selfish is the only word to describe him. He would mistreat people all the time.
(3/3) “He used his towering stature and “Ivy League” reputation to sleep with girls, while treating women really poorly. He was tall and really good-looking and of course a genius.
During his college preparation, he became hooked on helpers and on girls. When he graduated, he was a middling student even though expectations were huge. He started very well and kept deteriorating till the end.
This guy eventually became someone who no one wanted to be. He was the source of inspiration to many people including myself, but now that perfection that people admired is gone.”
(1/2) “For me it was a girl at my high school. We actually had a friendly rivalry.
We were in the same science classes, and both of us got A’s, so wed always compare marks to see who did better. Usually it was her, which was kinda frustrating. But when it came to French, I barely scraped C’s. She got A’s there too. English, A’s. Music, A’s. In fact, she pretty much exclusively got A’s across the board.
All of this would make you think she studied incredibly hard, did all her homework straight away, always paid attention, and did extra work in all her free time. Evidently not.”
(2/2) “She would frequently doodle in class, had plenty of time for her many friends, and apparently she barely studied for the tests she kicked my butt on.
Outside of academics, she did equally well. She had plenty of friends, was popular even. She was pretty, fun, and had a large social media following. And she was the nicest person you could meet–plenty of self esteem, but absolutely no ego, and I never met anyone with a bad word to say about her.
Her only downside? She made me incredibly envious.
For the record, no, I promise I didn’t have a crush on her, and no we’re not still in touch.”
“In my class this year theres a girl that has it all.
She is the highest standard of beauty in the country where I live in, Thailand. She models in commercials and does magazine shoots.
She has perfect grades—passes her classes with flying colors and birds singing.
She is nice to everyone, has a sweet and soft disposition—and therefore everyone likes her. All the guys have had at least one crush on her over the years.
She dances ballet, plays the piano very well, and speaks 3 languages: all of them in which she is incredibly articulate.
She has a ‘perfect’ family, with two younger brothers. Her family seems very happy and wealthy. She has a school named after her.
Of course, her happiness could be an illusion. Who knows.”
(1/2) “My ex-partner was an amazing man. He excelled from birth. He skipped two grades, graduated high school two years early, flew across the country and attended Princeton at only 16. He built a 100+ million dollar company from his dorm room, still finished his double degree, then traveled the world.
We met online and he seemed to have it all together. He told me he wanted a family, that he was ready to settle down, and the only thing missing was that sense of belonging. We met, and instantly he swept me off my feet. He wasnt just ‘perfect’ intellectually or academically, but physically as well. Anything he did had to be a tenfold better than anyone else. He despised people who he was competing with.
I soon realized that perfection might not have come as easily as others thought. He worked constantly and secretly fought extreme battles of depression and sudden outbursts of anger. He was controlling beyond belief. If something wasn’t his way, it was no one’s way. His perfectionism was only for things within his control. That lack of control turned to master manipulation and a struggle for power.”
(2/2) “When he realized I was not willing to bow down, its like he took a new challenge… to make my life completely horrible. His priority came to ruin my life, my name, my reputation, and to take our child away. Not for her own good, for she was shoved off on a nanny, but because he was a perfectionist, a man who couldn’t stand to lose.
He would rather make another person’s life a complete nightmare, or attempt to do so, by any means possible, to get his way. I owed a lot to this man. I can now look misery in the face, accept a good challenge, and continue to be persistent. Life goes on, but perfectionism, in that light, is simply not a life.”
(1/2) “Well, I know a man who, while not being conventionally drop dead gorgeous, is fit and 6 feet 4 inches tall.
Has a Ph.D. in physics from MIT. He made junior partner at one of the most prestigious consulting firms in the world last year.
He is extremely kind hearted, gentle and very considerate. He has a great sense of humor and is very witty. He loves the outdoors and goes hiking, cycling, climbing all the time. He is happily married with a devoted wife who is beautiful, intelligent and successful.
Despite his career success, will never show off or lord it over anyone. Ever.
He’ll help others every chance he gets.
While not being perfect, I’d say that this man that I personally know comes closest to the definition of that.”
(2/2) “Does it bother me? Not for a moment.
He is my little sisters husband!
And I couldn’t be happier for the two of them.
And I say this despite the fact that he and I are total opposites in terms of our respective natures, him being quieter, more circumspect, and considerate while I am assertive, confrontational, and straight-up polarizing. We two are as different as day and night, or fire and ice.
But with no intention whatsoever of sounding falsely modest, the fact is that he certainly has far fewer character flaws than I do. He’s about as fine a human as you could hope to meet and I once said to him, only half jokingly, ‘Truth be told, I’m glad that my sister married a man like you and not one like me!'”
(1/2) “One of my good friends is totally ‘perfect.’ She is incredibly smart. She has one of the highest GPAs that I know of. She is extremely attractive. Pretty much one of the most beautiful girls I know. Nearly everyone I know feels the same way. Her parents are very wealthy. She literally has her own bathroom with a jacuzzi in it.
She is friendly. She doesnt act like she is better than everyone else. She knows that everyone is equal, so she treats others with respect. She is extremely popular. Pretty much everyone wants to be her friend, because of how awesome she is.
But of course, there is also a downside:
She lives in the shadow of one of her family members, who is nearly exactly like her. Everyone expects her to be perfect, just like the other one is.”
(2/2) “Her ex-boyfriend cheated on her with one of her best friends, and she has insecurities like everyone else. She doesnt think of herself as popular. She doesnt think that she is beautiful. She doesnt think she is particularly smart either. Just because you seem perfect to others, it doesnt mean that you believe yourself to be perfect.
Her life isnt perfect. A perfect life doesnt exist. But if I had to choose one person to envy, she would be the obvious candidate.”
“I had a friend whose son was blond, muscular, 62 and when his acne cleared, was very handsome. He got his B.S. degree in Computer Science, plus an MBA.
He then went to work for a Washington DC consulting firm, and while the Ivy League coworkers would be out the door at 5, he would work until late, or on the weekends, whenever. Result? He’s now the head of the department, and the boss of the Harvard, MIT, Princeton grads who dissed him for going to a second-tier state college. He’s a millionaire… at 25 years of age!”
“I had a friend in college. Her boyfriend from home, Jeff, was one of these ‘too perfect’ unicorns. I’d heard about him over the years but didn’t meet him until senior year when he came for a visit.
The dude was a regular Adonis–blonde, 6′ 4″, the backup quarterback for one of the southern football factory universities (think bowl games, 90,000-seat stadiums, multimillion-dollar head coaches, etc.). Since he was a backup, his brains weren’t scrambled like a lot of his teammates so he was perfectly capable of having an intelligent conversation.
He was charming and his jokes were funny. I’ve never felt so petty and inadequate in my life. I hated him.Added bonus: he was really, really nice…which made me hate him even more.
Epilogue: I got over it and I can easily laugh at the 20-year-old me. Back then, though… I felt so small next to him.”
(1/2) “I knew and befriended a person who personified perfection. She was my classmate in college and had an astounding personality. I dont know where to begin with! Well, she was drop-dead gorgeous and boys were all head over heels for her. Not only that but she also had this smile which could even blow life into the dead.
This girl had an eidetic memory and could literally remember everything. Wait, let me tell you about her academic achievements: She had perfect SAT scores throughout her major. She won the international Eco-quest for five consecutive years. She was the youngest recipient of the prestigious Presidential Badge of Honor. She was consideredqueen and all her work featured in college journals every year.
She founded a research and development cell which went on to represent our country at the United Nations, and the list can go on & on.”
(2/2) “The last time I met her was in our college auditorium where she was reciting for the lead in the Blues rendition of Black Ice, and her performance was so breathtaking that it made everyone cry. Since then, I havent got the opportunity to meet her but as of now, all I know is that she is running a charity foundation for malnourished kids in Africa.
She truly was the kindest person I ever came across. With her wit & will to spread love everywhere, shell always be the person one could ever imagine perfect in the wildest of fantasies.”
(1/2) “My best friend in high school was perfect. Seriously. No flaws. Except that she was perfect. At 17 she could pass for 24. She was tall, had naturally long blonde hair, she never wore makeup and was beautiful. She was well-read, had amazing taste in music and a confidence that came from a strong core rather than fragile arrogance. People admired her but she was oblivious to it. She taught me that it was good to learn, and good to think outside of my own teen-angst life. She was everything I wanted to be.
I’m not sure why or how we stopped being friends but I remember going to a party a year after we ended our friendship. She had a new best friend. This girl was as enchanted as I had been. She said she couldn’t understand why our friendship had ended and I told her it was because my old friend was too perfect and that her perfection was her flaw.”
(2/2) “This girl said I was nuts. But months later she ran into me and said she understood what I had meant.
Today, my former friend is retired (early) with her husband of 30 years. They have two tall, smart boys who both graduated from college not too long ago. They have a beautiful house by the sea and have what appears to be a pretty perfect life. And, while I’ve lost an inch, she’s now 6′ tall and still beautiful. I can’t explain it and I’ve never met anyone as perfect since.”
“Yeah, I dated someone like that. But the longer you actually get to know them, the more you realize its a mask.
They meticulously perfect their outward appearance, or the things that they do in front of everyone else. But when you meet someone who seems perfect, chances are you can learn quite a lot from them on how to add to your own life. Theres nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself, and learning from other people about how to do so.”
These comments have been edited for clarity.