Sometimes parents will lie to you about something to protect you from it until you're ready. But MOST of the time they're doing because they just can't miss the chance to mess with an easy target.Here are 33 lies from parents that fooled their kids way into adulthood. Enjoy! And make sure to check out the sources at the bottom for more.
When I was really young, during the summer a particular truck would come around town playing music. My mom told me it was simply a music truck that went around to make kids happy over the summer. With no reason to chase after it, I had no idea that there were pictures of ice cream on the side. One day I was at my neighbor’s house when the ‘music truck’ came by, and my neighbor gave my friend and I a dollar and told us to go get ice cream. I was confused, but followed my friend…and found out the truth.I ran home and told my Mom, but I didn’t actually confront her because I didn’t realize she had lied. I just thought she was uninformed. Occasionally she’ll tease me with my famous line: “YOU’RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS! THE MUSIC TRUCK SELLS ICE CREAM!”
“We can’t go to McDonalds, its closed.”I never questioned it, as a child I just thought McDonalds had a horrible business model and was closed ALL the time.
When I was a kid, I loved scrambled eggs but hated pepper. Let’s face it, scrambled eggs taste better with pepper in them, so my parents always put pepper in everyone’s eggs. When I would ask what the black flakes in my eggs were, my parents would say, “just flakes coming off of the pan.” (Apparently crusty pan flakes are OK but pepper isn’t.) I believed them until I was about 9.
My mother told me that if the car door were ever open while the car was moving, I would be (I remember vividly) “sucked right out” of the door. I marvelled for years about how exactly a vortex would be formed, eventually trying to gather some empirical data and scaring the crap out of my mom.This was before child locks were a thing (get off my lawn).
My parents told me that chocolate milk came from brown cows. I had no reason not to believe them. When I was 5, a teacher rhetorically asked the class if chocolate milk came from brown cows. Everyone screamed out at the same time. Class: “NooOooooOOOoo!” Me: “Yes!” Turns out, my parents are liars.
When I was a kid my mother would occasionally make mac & cheese. I thought I was an awesome little chef & wanted to help with everything when in reality I was just getting in the way. It made her nervous what with the boiling water and all. So she would give me the cheese packet, not the powdery kind, the gross but oh-so-delicious cheese goo & tell me it needed “mixing”.I would sit on a stool in the kitchen for like 10 minutes poking at this little bag of cheese to ‘mix’ it up. I did this last summer when I was making it for myself (I’m 20) & my mother saw when she passed through the kitchen & busted out laughing, I was just sitting on the stool, diligently kneading cheese. I felt like a bit of a moron when she explained her laughter.You’d think I would have noticed that it wasn’t on the directions.
My parents used to tell us when we were lying a star appeared on our forehead so they knew when we were “fibbing”. So when we lied, we covered our foreheads – and THAT’S how they really knew that we were lying. Brilliant, and pathetic that it actually worked on me and my sisters.
When I was a toddler, my mom told me that certain toys had to stay in the playpen, so I would actually ask to be put in the playpen and would never fuss about it.I was not the brightest crayon in the box.c
When my sisters and I were kids, my mom hid the remote for the garage door where we couldn’t see her pushing the button. She convinced us that the door wouldn’t open or close unless we said “please” and “thank you.” We grew up to be very polite. 🙂
When I was very little, like maybe less that 7, when my dad wanted to keep me busy he would tell me to go see if he was outside. My dad asked me to go see if my dad was outside… And I would go check. Also he was never there, which was disappointing.
I played ‘tuna’ with my parents. It involved the family tucking up in bed like tunas in a can. Three year old me fell asleep in minutes, and my parents got their nap.
I was always told to eat my crusts or my hair wouldn’t go curly. I don’t know why I would’ve wanted curly hair, but now I have got curly hair. Stupid crusts.
I took break dancing lessons when I was 8. I was horrible. The class was supposed to have a dance recital to show of all our “moves”. Well suddenly I no longer was going to class every Tuesday. My parents told me the classes had ended. Total lie. I was so bad that the teacher did not want me to ever come back. I found this out 20 years later by accident when my mom said “remember when you got kicked out of the break dancing school that we paid for”
My mother told me when I was about four that she had eyes in the back of her head, and that all mothers had them. I can remember sneaking in her room when she was sleeping and trying to brush her hair back to find them.
When I was little, my parents told me that carrots were good for my eyes (true), and that the more I ate at dinner, the shinier my eyes got. I’d eat and eat, and they’d get up and put sunglasses on because of how bright my eyes were, in order to get me to finish my carrots.
When going over someone’s house for dinner: My mom and dad would tell me and my sister “These people really don’t like kids. They used to have kids and they hated them.”My sister and I were angels. We were always complimented with how well behaved we were. We were just really terrified. I’m not sure of what, but we behaved.Years later my sister asked why so many people don’t like kids and it made me think of how nobody liked kids the population would shrink.I’m telling the same bull to my kids. If I survived so will they.
My dad did these things for no reason other than to wind me up.He used to throw tiny pebbles at the top of my head every now and again when we were walking to school or whatever, and when I asked what it was; “Thunderbolt.” came the response. I thought for many years I was lucky to have not been hit by lightning.The best was this ridiculous thing he did. So I’m about 7 or 8 in the garden, digging, and I found a piece of patterned ceramic. Being a child I thought it was really cool and possibly an ancient relic so I showed my whole family and put it in a box in the bottom of my wardrobe. Bedtime comes that night and dad comes in to tell me a story, about a little girl who found an ancient relic in her garden. The story was about how the relic belonged to Hades who came back across the river stix to get it back.He tapped on her window slowly, and just kept tapping, eventually the little girl got up and opened her curtains and Hades was there, asking for it back, she refused (The FOOL!) and he took the little girl to hell instead. Obviously there were more details and tension, Dad is a good story teller. Night night sleep tight, and “If I were you I’d put that pot back where you got it.” “Don’t be silly Dad, it’s my treasure!” I wasn’t scared by that and I told him that too.So I’m lying there and I can hear this tapping noise, very lightly at first but then louder and louder, and I know my window is not near trees, or accessible to people, or anything. I’m lying in bed, convinced Hades is outside my window, but I’m too terrified to get the relic, I’m frozen with fear, don’t want to call out or move in case Hades sees or hears me. The tapping is getting louder and more urgent now. I am seriously regretting ever digging anywhere…When I just hear my mum say “What on earth are you doing you silly old fool?” from the hallway and she brings my dad (who can’t stop laughing) in to apologise, because he was leaning out of the window next to mine (no mean feat, he had to get nearly entirely out) tapping on my window with a stick with the sole intention of scaring me shitless.Nevertheless I still took my relic back to the garden and buried it the next day.
My mom told me the wheels of a car couldn’t move until every seatbelt had been buckled. That there was literally a mechanism preventing the wheels from rotating till everyone buckled.I believed this for 24 years. You bet I’ll tell my children the same thing.
My parents told us that the emergency room was closed on the weekends. Around 5 PM on a Friday my mom would say, “Don’t you get hurt or you’ll bleed to death by Monday”.We believed it until I was around 11 because we never had to go to the ER. Probably because the fear of death made us extra careful.
My dad told me and my brother that if we didn’t crouch in the elevators our weenies would fall off. We even warned our friends about it….yeah, he said it was so we wouldn’t accidentally press any buttons.
Not really manipulated. However, my father told me that horror movies were performed by actors and instructors, who had planned what the scenes should look like. For some reason i misunderstood this. I thought that every time someone died in a horror movie, an actor would sacrifice his life. I actually thought this for a very long time, before i realized that this couldn’t be true.
My mom told me when I was a wee thing that I had to hold my breath when we drove by cemeteries because “it was disrespectful to breathe when others couldn’t.” The last part I knew was bullshit, but I still held my breath when I went by cemeteries.Two weeks ago, she told me that she only made me do that because it was funny.
My mother told my brothers and I that if we didnt shower we would grow crust. We never knew what “crust” was or where it formed….we didnt want to take a chance so we showered. As an adult I asked her what the F is crust!!!! She looked straight at me and was like I lied just to get you guys to shower.
When my brother, sister, and I were little, we played a game where every time my mom or dad would yell STATUE (usually in a moment when we were being particularly rowdy), we’d all freeze in place. The first person to crack lost the game. We loved that game – I think one time we were locked in an epic statue battle for close to an hour.It took me until I was about 14 to figure out this was an extremely clever way to make children be quiet. When I was a camp counselor, I’d use it on my kids all the time. Genius, mom & dad. Genius.
My mother told me growing up that I had to be dead silent while she was baking or the cakes/cookies would be ruined. My wife just looked at me like I was insane when I shushed her while she put her cake in the oven.
My dad told me that “Special Dark” Hershey’s were for dads only, and on Halloween he would make me go through my candy to give him all of them.
When my cousins and I were younger we always looked forward to visiting our grandparents for the inevitable sugar rush. The best part without a doubt though was the “Lollipop Tree”. We would run out and get to pluck a half dozen or so lollipops each that we eventually realized were just taped onto the low-hanging branches of the only tree in his backyard. Once my Grandma passed away, my Grandad moved into a condo and the tree was left behind. :(Skip forward about 8 years, the first generation of grandkids are visiting and my Grandad goes about his usual habit and starts taping lollipops to the tree in the yard of our house. My sister sees this and just about cries yelling “YOU MEAN YOU MADE THE LOLLIPOP TREE?!?” – She was 16. I couldn’t stop laughing for 20 minutes.
Ohhhhhhh man, my parents were the reigning champions of making up stories for us to believe.I genuinely thought the color orange was purple and vice versa for many, many years.I was told that if I didn’t go to bed at 9pm on Christmas Eve Santa wouldn’t come. Now I have to stay up to arrange the presents Christmas Eve because my 29 year old sister refuses to stay up past 9.My mother told me that the dirtier a house was, the more likely it was to get robbed, so unless I wanted all my stuff to get stolen by bad men, I’d clean my room.My father convinced my sister and I that the grass on the lawn was lethal if it reached a certain length. That if it became mature enough, it would have the strength to grab feet and ankles, drawing its prey to the ground and consuming it, and that’s why the lawn mower blades were made of metal. He used this to convince us to help him mow it.These are just a few.
So, when I was just shy of six, while rummaging through a box of old junk, I found a strange object. I now know it was a malformed oyster shell. Definitely not the kind you’d get served at a restaurant, but worth keeping if you found it. It looked -exactly- like a grotesque ear, except sandworn outside and pearlescent on the inside. My father claimed it was an elf ear, and I could have it if I wanted it. I gleefully accepted.Two hours later, on the way home, he said, “Oh yeah, almost forgot. The elf is still looking for that ear. He was really mad I took it. If he finds you, he’ll kill you for your ears. Don’t worry, though, he can only track you while you sleep. That’s why I only take short naps. Whew, it will sure be good to get a full night’s sleep.””Take it back, DAD! PLEASE!” – “No way, I’ve been trying to find someone who wanted it for a long time, I was glad to hear you liked it. Yours now, no backsies.”I didn’t really sleep for three days, getting progressively more tired. My mom found out when she drilled my dad about why I kept falling asleep and immediately waking screaming, “NOOOOOOOO!”
You know the knots on trees? My parents told my younger brother and I they were “tree turtles.” Essentially the flying red turtles from Mario games. We were young and our dad worked as an arborist so we assumed it was real. They used to freak us out when we’d go in the forest or go on a hike saying “oh look, one has hatched over here” one day culminating in my little brother running out of the woods screaming and crying because he thought he heard one coming.The turtles were supposedly aggressive and would bite you. Our dad had a big scar on his arm from a chainsaw accident and he would tell us it was from a tree turtle attack while working. The fucked up part about all this is eventually they figured they should stop fucking with us like this since my brother was getting so scared, but they never told us. So when I was about 14-15 years old it just popped into my head one day, one of those things your brain randomly plucks from years and years ago.”Hey…wait a sec…there’s no such thing as fucking tree turtles!” Thanks parents.
When I was a kid, I liked turning on the ceiling roof light in the car when it was nighttime and my mom was driving. Whenever I did, she would say, “That’s illegal! If you do that I’ll get caught by the police and they’ll take me away!” I never turned on the light again. Then one day when I was a teenager, my friend turned on the light in the car. Needless to say, I made myself look like a fool in front of my friends.
When I couldn’t sleep, my mother would give me sleeping potion. A dab on the nose, sniff it and I would fall asleep. Once, when I was about 16 or 17 I couldn’t sleep, so I asked my mom if she could give me some of that stuff she did when I was a kid…”It was perfume you idiot.”
My Grandma told me that all of the tar on the road filling the cracks was “moose slobber”. We were driving through Canada at the time, so I thought it was legit.