Facebook has over 2 BILLION users. Billion, with a B. But every day, many of those people get fed up with the nonsense and quit. Sometimes it's personal, sometimes it's privacy issues, sometimes it's a safety issue. No matter what it is, those people that quit explain what got them to the tipping point.
News No One Should Find Out Online
“My wife was sitting on the couch one Saturday morning with a cup of coffee and her phone, trying to wake up and start her day. I was looking at her thinking how beautiful she looked when suddenly her face contorted in pain.
She screamed ‘NO!!!!!’ and started crying hysterically. I was utterly confused and trying to console her while figuring out what the heck was going on.
She handed me her phone and I saw that she was on social media. Her niece had posted that my wife’s 6-week-old nephew had been murdered a few hours ago. That was how my wife found out, no phone call not even a text message.
I then realized that social media has really cheapened the human experience, it has reduced our communication with each other to impersonal blogging. I decided not to be a part of it anymore.
Also, later found out that his mother left him with a guy she was screwing so that she could go get high. She had known this upstanding individual for a few months. He got frustrated because the baby wouldn’t stop crying so he beat the boy to death. In a stunning failure of our justice system, the poor child’s mother escaped any consequence for her actions.”
Perception Is Rarely Reality
“In 2008 I friended this dude I went to grade school with. He referred to himself as a digital nomad, somehow always being able to hustle income together to be able to travel the world. Never lived in the same place for more than a year. His FB updates and pics were nothing but travel.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. He dies in a tragic snowboarding accident. He was only 34.
Suddenly the FB posts start flooding to his page about what a great dude he was, how inspirational and fun he was, how he positively impacted everyone he met.
Then this woman posts a pic on his wall. It’s a picture of him with a child and the caption is something like, ‘Look, I’m probably terrible for posting this, but everyone needs to understand that there are two sides to every coin. This dude is a father who refused to take care of his son because he wanted to live his dream of being a nomad. His son is now 7 and has met his father 3 times.’ NO ONE KNEW this dude was a father and while that post was probably not appropriate given the circumstances, it really made me think about the number of people I think I know. This dude actually had a ton of issues he was struggling with, but he had spent so long carefully crafting his persona online that even some of his close friends didn’t know about some of the stuff he was going through. As much as the nomad lifestyle was something he was pursuing, it was also a means to run away from a lot of people and situations he didn’t want to deal with.
It’s getting to the point where sites like Facebook have been around long enough to truly impact our worldview and our perceptions of others.
I’d rather have 3 close friends than 300 Facebook friends.”
When Online Trolls Take It Way Too Far
“I had someone who didn’t like a comment that I posted. A complete stranger who lives in another part of the country tried to get me in trouble with my job all because of a comment he hated.
I commented on a post, it was a news page sharing some stuff about ‘should a school be training teachers not to sleep with students?’ I wrote something like, haha, now teachers are going to get ideas sort of like Dare teaches us about illegal substances.
He took a screenshot of my comment, looked me up on LinkedIn, and then found out where I work, and sent the screenshot of my comment to my work social media page, stating that I ‘slandered local teachers.’
I slandered nobody!
Thankfully, I didn’t get in trouble for it, and my boss was understanding that this was just a guy who needlessly went out of his way to be a jerk.
But the fact that someone in another state can screenshot your comment and the try to get you in trouble with your job? Some stranger who doesn’t even know you from Adam? Frightening
I removed my full name and location from my account after that.”
Mom Being Mom…Online
“When my mom started adding my friends and people from my friend list. Then she still talks/comments stuff on their post even though I don’t really talk to them anymore. I gotta ask her to stop talking to them and stop telling them about what I’m up to these days. Of course, she didn’t listen. The final straw was she wouldn’t stop asking me why I stop talking to them. I lost it and unfriended my mom then deleted everything on my page, picture, old posts, everything.
Guess what, my mom got upset when she found out I unfriended her because she can’t tag me anymore. Screw social media man, that stuff screws up people and relationships. Worry about real people around you rather than somebody doesn’t matter to you. Social media just got too personal for me.”
Facebook Is Listening To Our Conversations
“This sounds completely paranoid and I know it, but I used to take screenshots of all the crap that would pop up on Facebook ads that were directly related to conversations I had on the phone or in real life until I had so many I just stopped doing it.
The morning that my wife told me she was pregnant in person I got to work and Facebook showed an ad for pregnancy tests.
I had a conversation with my father-in-law, over the phone, about possibly purchasing a large cargo container and, you guessed it: ‘Storage container dealers near you!’
The creepiest one was when I stood outside with my phone in my pocket having a conversation with my (buff bodybuilder) friend about the prevalence of women taking steroids to bulk up in weightlifting circles. Next morning: ‘Check out these pictures of the most ripped female bodybuilders’ clickbait.
The Virtual Lynch Mob Mentality
“Here’s the setup: I come from a hyper-conservative Baptist background and went to a college in Florida which reflected said upbringing. Therefore, the vast majority of my friends are unashamed xenophobic (and homophobic), bigoted people who mean well but certainly don’t behave well.
Skip to several years later, after I completed a Masters degree – and still worked at Starbucks. When gay marriage was legalized in the USA, my coworkers and I all dressed up in rainbow colors. While I’m a boring cis-gender male, many of my friends are LGBTQ – and I dressed to the hilt for the event. I had layered multiple shirts to get all the colors, borrowed some hair bands, and even put my son’s plastic baby chain toy across the top of my apron to get more color. I then posted a selfie on Facebook that said ‘Celebrating with my friends today.’
Here’s what happened: Everything. Effing. Exploded.
Text messages from people I spent years at college with, telling me I’m suddenly not a Christian. Poorly-written, aggressive Facebook messages railing about god-knows-what and how horrible and wrong I was. Long, condemning emails. Vitriolic, xenophobic, hateful comments on that picture I posted, condemning anyone who was ‘not straight’ along with anyone who would dare say a kind word to such a person. Hellfire and brimstone and damnation, and so on and so forth. ‘Closest friends’ from my college days treating me like scum.
But these people didn’t stop at harassing me: they also flooded my then-wife’s phone and email and Facebook, and some particularly-brilliant individuals called my parents.
With friends like these, who needs enemies? My stress level has died down a lot since killing off my account on the book of face. I also have more free time. Miraculously, one person who attacked me the hardest has apologized, for which I am grateful. Bye bye, Facebook, or should I just say, Bye Felicia!”
Logging Off For A Boyfriend
“I never commented on anything, or left any post of my own for months, I would just scroll past what others had written. I would occasionally get mad at what I read, mostly stupid and petty stuff, but still wouldn’t comment.
One day my sister tagged me in a found dog poster, the dog looked exactly like my dog I had to leave with my ex when we broke up. I messaged my ex about it, turned out it wasn’t her.
I told my current boyfriend about it, he wasn’t mad or upset I messaged him but said it sounded like I was using that as an excuse to message my ex. I assured him it wasn’t and we continued with our day. I started thinking on it later and remembered how he has been cheated on twice through Facebook, and the last one, the one that hurt him the most, was she cheated on him with her ex, and he found out when she left her account logged in on his tablet, and he saw the private messages.
I know he wasn’t mad at me for messaging my ex about the dog, I know he trusts me and knows I wouldn’t cheat on him, but didn’t want to have him feeling uncomfortable or anything with something I didn’t even enjoy doing, like getting mad at petty stuff on Facebook.
My boyfriend felt good that I would do that for him, but told me I didn’t have to if I didn’t want to, he wouldn’t be mad if I logged back on, but haven’t felt the urge to.”
She Couldn’t Escape Her Haunting Past
“I spent my teenage years in foster care away from my biological family due to some serious neglect/ failure by my parents. The entire time I was a minor, no one ever came looking for me, to give me a place to live or make sure I was okay or even communicate with me. After I turned 18 they started coming out of the woodwork. The last straw was when my biological mom, who had it made very clear to her that I wasn’t interested in a relationship, looked me up on social media and kept messaging me over and over again about how she just ‘wanted to know her daughter.’ I wrote her an angry letter and torpedoed the whole thing. That was almost 6 years ago.
These days when people ask me if I have a social media account, I say ‘No. If corporations want my demographic data they can pay me for it.’ Yes, I get some weird looks but whatever, I’m not interested in shallow, token friendship.
Even before that, I’ve always thought it was weird how we all collectively decided that the hive mind of social media is the new normal. The looks I get from others when I say I don’t have it are kind of creepy in their incredulous-ness.”
The Day To Day Of People You Barely Know
“Realized that I was looking at a croissant someone I worked with years prior was having for breakfast. That’s not how I want to spend my time.”
Learning Big News The Wrong Way
“When I found out my brother and his wife were having a kid via my wife saying ‘(insert SIL’s name here) is pregnant.’
I was like what? And asked her if they had called her or something. ‘No, it’s on Facebook.’ Deleted 5 seconds later. They are having another one and I still haven’t gotten even a text about the new one and I have no info about when she’s due or anything.”
“Several years ago this guy messaged me on this dating app. Pretty random, considering we had no common friends, and he lived on the opposite side of the country. I tried to be polite but stopped responding when he started sending unwanted pics of his junk.
This guy never got my name, phone number, email address, any personal information that would allow him to look me up. We had no common friends or even friends of friends and lived on opposite ends of the country.
About two years later, Facebook suggested him as ‘someone you may know.’
If that isn’t creepy as heck, I don’t know what is.”
“I left because I was being trolled and monitored by students’ parents. I am a teacher and my profile is fairly private but some parents backdoored into parts of my profile and informed the Principal about it. It was a comment that the boys’ basketball team I coached had more work to do before they were ready for the tournament and that they could learn a few things about zone defense from the girls. Go, girls!’ In any case, I had enough of snooping parents so I deactivated.”
Liars Get Him Booted
I didn’t learn until over a year later from someone who knew my ex that she had bragged all about messing with me by saying that I’d threatened her via Facebook.”
When You’re Tired Of Getting Attacked
“When people addressed me in private about how offended they were when I didn’t respond to a comment.
This became a regular thing, up to the point where people started jabbing at me in conversations at birthdays and such, laughing about how I rarely respond on social media or Whatsapp, despite having read their messages.
Then, one time I became the subject of an entire meal, and after tolerating it for a good 15 minutes, I stood up, politely addressed all the friends and family there, and told them I had no obligation to reply to any of their messages unless I wanted to, and that I have always responded to urgent messages; the others just weren’t interesting—and left. That evening I deleted my account.
A few apologized the next day for how they put me on the spot and condescended, but most thought I was a huge jerk and deserved it, and actually came at me for deleting my account.
I know I wasn’t being sociable by rarely responding, but I never agreed to that unspoken contract of enduring nonsense for the sake of appearances of politeness in the first place. I’d never judge another for partaking in that daily game, but in return, I would like the respect of being allowed to make my own choice in the matter—live and let live. I was not given this respect, so I quit. Simple.”
Political Extremism And A Lack Of Compassion
“I survived an accident that should have killed me, getting home from like my fourth surgery which was excruciatingly painful, and seeing one well wisher – the rest of my feed was filled with political nonsense. I thought who the heck are these people that are my ‘friends?’ So privacy concerns, realization that friends really aren’t friends, and watching increased political extremism between people. Shut the account almost 2 years ago – and I actually have been happier for it.”
Too Many People Craving Too Much Attention
“For me, it was the eccentric attention starved behavior (especially Valentine’s day).
1) A lot of the people on my feed thought that, in spite of being single, that somebody owed them roses and chocolates. That’s really not how it works.
2) People who post pictures and make some quip about how ‘ugly’ or ‘fat’ they were in hopes of a compliment. Miss me with that forced vanity nonsense.
3) Way too much passive-aggressive behavior. Vague messages about who or what has your panties in a wad with no explanation in spite of the fact that you made a PUBLIC POST!
4) The irrational demand to be acknowledged just for the sake of it.You know, the whole, ‘Since most of you don’t care about me I’m just going to start deleting friends unless you say something. Go hug a relative you depraved brat.
And yes, I was guilty of some of this nonsense too (especially in my early 20’s which shows the difficulty of resisting toxic internet behavior no matter who you are. I do believe it is possible to navigate social media without these annoying habits, it’s just difficult.”
Easier Than Blocking People
“I’m Canadian and was dating an Aussie. After coming to Canada to pack all my things, I went back down under to spend my life with him but things took a turn and two weeks later we broke up (he was a drinker, sadly a nice one but a terrible sober person). He had a bunch of belongings he promised he would help ship and a few weeks later, I called about organizing to mail it and he had another girl over – a friend of mine. Not sure why he told me, I guess to purely hurt my feelings. Shortly after (and not having him or her any longer on my friend’s list), mutual friends started posting photos at BBQ’s and other hangs of the two together. It really broke my heart to have to still see the random photos on my newsfeed. I didn’t need to know. Needless to say, as much as I wanted to delete and block people who were posting the photos I had no hard feelings towards them and didn’t want them to think I hated them in specific. I just said the heck with Facebook altogether and haven’t looked back. Altogether it has really made my life better and my personal relationships closer and anyone who asks me why I ‘delete'” or ‘blocked’ them off Facebook, it’s easy to quickly say ‘oh sorry, I actually permanently deleted it.’ That was two years ago and I haven’t looked back.”
Enough Of The Moral Police
“I haven’t deleted it yet, but I’m close. There are a few reasons that are at the forefront of that desire.
A lot of my friends are having babies now. I’m legitimately happy for them, but darn it, I am tired of 5+ baby pictures a day from multiple people all talking about how their baby is the best thing in the world. I’ve muted some people because of it. Perhaps my SO or I will be the same someday if we have kids, but for now, it is just annoying to me.
The moral police mindset is so prevalent. This is across all social media and any given comment section to be fair. I’m just tired of people on the internet feeling so self-important and relevant.
An overwhelming majority of the posts I see are just links people are sharing and not actual posts about their life. The social media isn’t social to me anymore. I want to know how you are doing as a friend, not a list of top 10 pet fails of the week.”
Suckers And Idiots
“A picture from an obviously fake account (pictures didn’t match and showed up on a reverse image search) of an obviously attractive young woman in a wheelchair with the caption ‘My friends say I’m ugly and nobody will share this.’
It was shared 80,000 times with everyone telling her how beautiful she was blah blah blah. One guy even said he would take her out on a date and publicly gave out his phone number.
I just can’t stand how naive and stupid people are anymore.
I know I sound like an elitist snob, but it’s mind-boggling what people believe on Facebook. The constant bragging, game requests, and attention seeking – it just got to me.”
Learning Tragic News From Facebook
“I was sitting on an airplane about to take off, missed 2 calls from friends but didn’t answer because I was on a plane. We were delayed a little while so I pulled up Facebook and found out one of my best friends from high school had died. Not a good way to spend that flight, and I realized I wasn’t mentally prepared to find out stuff like that via Facebook. Now my true friends call me more often and there’s actually stuff to talk about since we don’t know what each other has been up to.”