"I think this year is a Mother's Day low point for me.
My 16-year-old brought me roses that he swiped off the neighbor's bushes, so I had to march his butt over there to apologize and we both wound up mowing their lawn to keep the peace.
My 5-year-old decided to give herself a haircut with safety scissors. It looked like she had a fight with a weed whacker and the weed whacker won. To 'hide' the fact she had cut her hair from me, she stuffed all the strands of hair into the sink, which is now clogged.
My almost 3-year-old twins made me a lovely picture, on my office wall, in Sharpie.
My ex-husband called me and chewed me out for not buying his mother a gift (I took care of it when we were married because he's a man-child). I did take deep pleasure in inviting him to jump up his own butt and die.
All four have been freaking out all day because they know I'm unhappy. Next year, I don't want them to make any special effort because none of them are old enough to buy me a drink if it goes this badly again."
"I gave my mother fake chocolates once. Every Mother's Day, we had to make a craft in class and for some reason. My teacher had the genius idea to make fake chocolates. She provided some old, empty chocolate boxes and we had to make 'chocolate' out of clay, paint them brown and put them in the box. So my mom thought they were actual chocolates until she opened the box. I don't think I've ever seen her look more disappointed."
"My mom was raised Catholic by my grandparents. She has two brothers. One uncle, when he was 14 or 15, started learning about Buddhism in school and really liked everything about it. However, again, my grandparents were Catholics who went to church every Sunday and raised their three kids as such.
Anyway, it was Mother's Day and my uncle who got into Buddhism decided he had the best present for my grandmother...a Buddha statue. First off, this was a fairly large statue and they didn't exactly live in a big house. Second off, it's a freaking Buddha statue. The night before Mother's Day, my uncle called my mom into his room and asked if she could help him wrap his gift. She walked in and nearly lost it when she saw it was a Buddha statue. She couldn't control her laughter, but she agreed to help him just to see my grandmom's reaction.
Apparently, my grandmom's face was not what my uncle expected. It's still talked about all the time 40 years later at family gatherings."
"When I was with my daughter's biological father, I had the worst Mother's Day ever. He was abusive, but he seemed like he had changed for the better. I requested we go to my favorite restaurant and he wanted Olive Garden. I said, 'Well, why don't we go where I want for Mother's Day and we go where you want on Father's Day?' That's when he threw his phone at my face. Blood was dripping everywhere. I had to get stitches."
"My first two Mother's Days were the worst.
On the first one, I was very pregnant with our son. Our neighbors got me a Mother's Day card. My ex said, 'Why? You aren't a mom yet.'
On the second one, my ex said, 'I didn't get you anything since you aren't my mom.'
Notice that he's now my ex-husband."
"I got a great present last year. My son's dad called me and told me he hates me, wishes I was dead, and thinks I'm a terrible mother. I'm a single mom, I work full time to support my son, and son's dad is never around. So that was my gift."
"It was my first Mother's Day as a new mom.
My (now ex) boyfriend presented me with a lotto scratch-off and a used glass pipe. I was working full-time and still providing milk for my baby, so I had no use for a glass piece. I did win $5 on the scratch-off, but my ex took it, and the bowl, and bought himself a nugget of weed with my $5 and disappeared for the rest of the day to smoke and drink with his friends."
"My girlfriend's kid got her a vacuum and laundry detergent. It was a suggestion by her jerk of an ex-husband.
She put on her game face and told him she loved it. She put a load in the laundry and went to work. I took the kid and we got her a bunch of flowers, a gift card to the movies and her favorite lunch spot, as well as a spa day."
"When our kid was about 2 or 3 years old, my husband's gift was a trip to the park. To pick up garbage. Because 'Mother Nature.' That was it. No card, no gift, no flowers. He still sucks at gift giving, but our offspring is old enough to vet the worst of his ideas."
"My husband has been gifting me cash on various holidays since we were dating. For a while, I reminded him that cash is what you give streetwalkers and graduating seniors, not the mother of your children. I've stopped explaining how a trip to the ATM is not an actual gift."
"My abusive (now ex) husband knew I had a 'wish list' at the jewelry store since it was an annual tradition in our marriage and I'd done it at his request.
I did not have a Rolex watch on the list, I had an Ebel watch on that list.
Apparently, my husband never heard of Ebel and thought that none of my family would have ever heard of Ebel. So he got me a Rolex.
Here's the worst part. He gave me the watch before my family came to the house for the Mother's Day celebration. I told him, 'Thanks. But to be honest, I hate Rolex because if you don't wear them constantly, they don't keep time (because of the self-winding they're famous for.) Would you mind if I exchanged it for the Ebel? I really love the Ebel. It's cheaper and prettier. I love it and frankly, this Rolex is a lot of hype.'
He said no. He demanded I pretend to be delighted and surprised when he gave me to watch in front of my family.
When I resisted that notion, he said, 'Yes. You will do this for me. I need to show your family what a rich man I've become. If you do this for me, you can keep the Rolex AND I'll get you the Ebel. If you don't, you're going to regret it because I will make this the worst Mother's Day of your entire life.'"
"Thinking I was artsy, I took all these pieces of trash, cut them up into tiny pieces, and glued them onto cardboard to say 'MOM.' I thought I was smart, but looking back, it must've looked like a ransom note made by a homeless person. My mom gave me a confused response, she just really had no idea what to think.
I was probably 10 or 11 years old, so I was old enough to have thought this out better, but I didn't. I also made one for my dad on his birthday a few weeks later, so I apparently learned nothing."
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"When I was about 6 years old, I had an 'experiment' growing in my bathroom. It was basically a long, lumpy log of compressed toilet paper, sitting on a plastic ruler, doused in layers of various soap, perfume, and bubble bath. Every day, I would spend about ten minutes meticulously 'feeding' the thing with more products. Then, about three weeks later, when the thing was like a sticky white turd, I put it in a suitcase and presented it to my mom on Mother's Day. She was apprehensive since I was known for doing some pretty weird things, and when she opened it to find this slimy mass of nastiness, she actually seemed relieved. I was so proud of myself.
I never saw that suitcase again."
"I got a half-dead looking, clearance, annual potted plant from Home Depot. My husband took off in the morning with our kid to do man things (silly me thought maybe they had some plot to do something nice) and discovered that it was Mother's Day while they were there and brought me home that gem. I pretended I loved it, planted it with loving care in a nice ceramic pot and watched it slowly die despite my efforts to keep it alive."
"When I was 8 years old, I woke my mom up at 5:30 in the morning with breakfast in bed. It consisted of a bologna sandwich, grapes, and a glass of soda. She put on a big smile, but last Mother's Day, she told me to get her whatever I wanted as long as it wasn't a bologna sandwich at 5 a.m."
"This was my third Mother's Day, and like every other Mother's Day, I hadn't gotten a gift. This particular Mother's Day took the cake, though.
My second child is allergic to everything. He is allergic to so many things that I had to become a stay-at-home-mom because no daycare would take him. Not that I could afford them here anyway; it's $2,000 a month for both of my kids. I was pregnant when we moved here, so I hadn't been able to make any friends since we arrived and that had taken a toll on my mental state. I was planning to be nice to myself that day and buy some planters and some seeds to start a small patio garden.
My husband was in the Navy and was on detachment to the other side of the country for pre-deployment workups. Right after he left, I found out he cheated on me during his last detachment with a Backpage girl. The night before Mother's Day, he went to a casino with his squadron and spent all of our money. We had a negative balance in our account until the next Friday.
I felt like the most underappreciated person in the world."
"My dad had been asking my mom what she wanted for Mother's Day between a hutch or a new bed frame. She couldn't decide between the two and told my dad to surprise her.
On Mother's Day, he came home with a garden weasel, which is a gardening tool used to churn dirt up. She thought it was a joke and was looking around for the real gift. He assured her that the garden weasel WAS the real gift and proceeded to go out in the backyard and start churning up the flowering beds.
Well, at least my mom's dad was nice enough to get her a gift: a card and a check. My mom went to cash the check at the bank, but unbeknownst to her, the account was negative, and the bank had to use the check to cover the negative balance. What caused the account to go negative? The garden weasel."
"The worst gift my step-mother ever received was from me.
She loves antiques, so I found this brass music box shaped like a gazebo. It was pretty and played 'Raindrops keeps Falling on My Head.' I wrapped it up and gave it for Mother's Day. When she wound it up and started playing, she burst out crying. I went, 'Holy crap, what did I do wrong?'
When she was 12 years old, her older sister was killed by an impaired driver, her father no less, while in the yard messing around with an ATV. My step-mom witnessed everything. 'Raindrops' was the last song they had sung together in the school choir."
"When I was young, my dad worked out of town for months at a time. My mom had to raise my sister and I by herself, as well as work full time. A little before Mother's Day, when I was about 13, she had quite a meltdown because there was so much wrong with the house and she was trying to do too much on her own. My dad thought the meltdown was because she didn't know how to fix the things on the house, so instead of doing them himself as a gift, he thought it would be more sincere if he got my Mom a toolbox. He said, 'Now you can work on the house when I'm not here.' Poor Dad, so clueless."
"A few years ago, my sister and I bought our mom two tiny purple petunia plants. They were sad looking and we couldn't figure out how to wrap them. But Mom liked purple and she liked petunias, so she went along with it. We helped her plant them in the front flower bed. They came back the next year, and the year after, then they spread to the front lawn...then the backyard...then to the garden and pond...Now they are going down the street."
"When I was about 10 years old, I told my mom that I really wanted to get her a new book by her favorite author. She decided that she would send my younger sister and I into town to go shopping for the book. Her instructions were that if we had change from the $20 each she gave us, we could buy McDonald's. My sister and I went to the bookstore and realized the book was $30. We learned that if we got that, then we only had $10 for lunch. So we went somewhere else, bought a whole bunch of cheap random stuff, then treated ourselves for a good lunch. On Mother's Day, my mother opened up a gift that contained a curly hair treatment mask; she has long, straight hair."
"I'm allergic to mustard and my sons' biological father knew I loved pretzels, so he got me a pretzel...with mustard on it. I was like, 'What the...I can't eat this,' and he called me an ungrateful bimbo and smacked me. I'm married to a way better man now."
"I asked my mom what the worst gift I'd given her was. She said, 'When you were three, you learned what Mother's Day was. After I explained the traditions, you went into the backyard, found a rotting doll head, and gave it to me in bed. I'll be honest, I was scared and slapped it out of your hands. Thank god you were a quiet child, otherwise I'm sure you would've cried all day.'"
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"When I was in elementary school, I made my mom a pen holder out of paper for Mother's Day. I was pretty artsy as a kid, so the pen holder was composed of diamond-shaped tubes of different lengths. Obviously, it wasn't that functional, but I made it more for the sentimental value. The next week, I found it in the trash can. I never gave her anything handmade again."
"It was my first Mother's Day. I had a 9-month-old baby, and all of my friends were showing off their jewelry, flowers, and candy. I worked a nine-hour day and came home, not really expecting anything, but hoping that maybe my boyfriend at the time might have tried to do something nice for me. Nope, nothing. All I came home to was just a spiteful, little man, not what I was hoping for at all. From then, I learned not to expect or even hope for some sort of recognition."
"My baby's dad got me a massage gift card last Mother's Day. I hadn't had an opportunity to use the gift card all year. This year, he got a gift card for himself for a massage, saying we could go together. He followed that up with telling me he WAS going to get me ruby earrings but went with the massage for 'us' instead."
"The guy I was dating at the time gave me a card with a crumpled-up five dollar bill in it. He was all like, 'I didn't know what to get you.' This in and of itself isn't a terrible gift; what makes it terrible is what happened next: he started telling me about what be bought his best friend for his birthday, which was on the same day.
As a joke, he got his friend one of those coffee table books full of pictures of cats (because his friend hates cats), and they had a good laugh when he ripped up the book. Here's the thing: I love cats. I would've been thrilled to receive a coffee table book full of pictures of cats. Basically, he gave his best friend a gift I would've loved and then laughed when he ripped it up because he hated it so much."
"Mother's Day was a disaster. I was supposed to work from 2:30 to 9:30 p.m., with an hour of traveling time. That meant I had to leave the house at 1:10. to be sure since I travel with public transportation. There was this huge cycling event going on in our city, going across multiple cities and back. Now, I knew busses wouldn't be riding from 2 until 7 and I had taken this into account, so I should have been fine.
Now here's the catch. What I did not know was that my bus stop was canceled. Though I had looked online the day prior to Mother's Day and a few hours before actually having to leave. There was no mention of this. So I ran off to the station, all the way up the stairs, only for the train to start riding away just as I got up there. I waited 20 minutes for the next train. I was talking to myself, 'Relax, you got this, it's fine.' This lady who barely spoke our language came and sat right next to me. Now, I am no skinny girl and have been trying to lose weight for a while. I've lost 10 pounds in the past eight months, so I thought I was on a good track. Until this lady asked if I was expecting. I am not.
Once I arrived at the station, I saw my bus still on the departure board, and I was so relieved that I made it. Five minutes went by, 10 went by, 15 went by. No bus. So I walked over to the information desk to ask if something was up. 'Sorry ma'am, our internet data and board data's are all incorrect at the moment, you should have called us. No buses today; transportation is stuck everywhere.' And he did mean everywhere. I had asked my in-laws if they could drop me off, but a lot of roads were blocked, so I was out of luck. I called work, where I had just started four days prior and they were ticked. I then went to check on the train; it would be another 20-minute wait to get home, then I walked home from the mini-station. All in all, I wasted three and a half hours trying to get to work.
When I got home, my husband said, 'Grab a Magnum White, your favorite.' We'd just gotten two boxes of mixed flavored Magnums a week before and, of course, it being my unlucky day, my son had already eaten all the Magnum Whites.
I decided to spend the rest of the day on the couch while my husband BBQ'd, and except for making my kids some salad to go with it, I was flat out busted.
However, my son had a birthday party at school the next day, so I spent my evening baking waffles and making snacks for his class. Of course, my first batch completely failed."