There might not be a better thing to trust in a relationship than your gut. Your gut will tell you pretty quickly what to do. These people trusted theirs and it got them out of some terrible places!
(Contents edited for clarity.)
"A guy I used to work with was constantly offering to give me driving lessons out in the countryside. We got along at work well enough, and he said he thought it was weird that I was an adult who couldn't drive.
I had a weird gut feeling. I've had them before and they had never steered me wrong. I turned him down repeatedly. He ended up asking my other coworker to go out with him instead, just for a friendly drive.
He assaulted her. My gut is never wrong."
"I found out my ex-girlfriend was poking holes in my rubbers. We were going through a rough patch, and I felt like the relationship was slipping away. One day, she really wanted to get it on. She started everything and I was down with it. She told me she would go get the box from the drawer. I told her no, let me go get them. I jumped up ran over, and saw the box was moved, ever so slightly, I flipped on the light and saw that every one of the rubbers had a hole poked through them. I got dressed, said 'nope,' this nonsense is over, and left."
"I had gone on a Tinder date that went horribly. Right when I got there, she said, 'Oh, thank God you're cute because I've been turning down guys waiting for you.' Great first impression, but I stuck it out.
While hanging out, she got progressively worse over the night. Then she invited me to her birthday party at her house the next day. I said yes while secretly inside doubting I would go. Yet when I woke up the next morning, my gut told me to go to this house party because I was new to Seattle and needed to meet people. Something also told me to wear a dinosaur button down shirt that I had never worn before.
I wound up meeting my fiancée there. She was a coworker of Tinder girl's roommate, and she also tried talking herself out of going to that party but something kept telling her to go. My opening line when walking up to her was, 'What do you think of the dinosaurs on my shirt?' She thought I was a jerk until I walked up and said that."
"A couple of months ago, my girlfriend said she was stopping by her brother's house to grab some stuff and then going to see her best friend. She said, 'I love you,' gave me a kiss, and was on her way. As she left, I just had this uneasy feeling.
About a month before this, her brother's best friend Scott, whom I didn't know at all, got her a job and had been driving her to work here and there and also picking her up to go to her brother's to hang out. It was a little more than I liked, I said something, and was assured he's a good guy trying to help out. Ok cool, I thought, I would do the same for a friend.
Back to her leaving. She left and I was sitting there thinking 'something is off.' I did something I thought I'd never do, I grabbed her iPad and checked her messages to find out I was right. She had the best friend set up to lie to me, should I ask where she was, and even added a 'lol' in her message. She was going to Scott's place. I had already told her that he was going out of his way too much and that I didn't think he had 'let's just be friends' intentions, but she maintained they were just friends.
I messaged her and told her to get home, and she again lied that she was at her best friend's house, so I told her I knew what was up and to get home. We talked and sorted it out and were going to work on things. Things were going good, we started to get on track again, but, there's always a but, I once again got an uneasy feeling, and again I read the messages. She was having an emotional affair with this scoundrel who was trying to convince her that I was putting up walls and all sorts of nonsense. I sat her down again, we talked, she didn't know what to do and said she had feelings for two people, so I left her.
I helped her through depression and anxiety. She didn't work for over a year and I did everything. I took care of her and never expected anything other than for her to get better, I put myself into debt for her to find happiness. And this was how I got treated. Freaking ridiculous! I feel bad for looking at her messages, but at the same time, I'm glad I did so that I didn't get taken advantage of for any longer. Lesson learned, always follow that gut instinct."
"I had a bunch of girls over, including the girl I had been casually fooling around with. We had already secretly lost our V cards to each other, but I genuinely wanted a relationship with this girl.
I left to go use the bathroom, washed my hands, and for no reason at all, I suddenly bolted out of the bathroom to my bedroom.
I burst into my room to see my friend with benefits was standing on my bed and had her feet tangled in my blankets, and was tumbling head first to the concrete floor. I lived in the garage and my bed was unusually elevated, so it would have definitely cracked her skull open.
She was mid-fall when I came in and I caught her inches before her head hit the floor. I caught her in what looked like one of those movie-type dips where the acting lead kisses the damsel. She just gazed into my eyes for a moment like she was noticing me for the first time in her life before thanking me.
We've been together for 20 years this June. I am head over heels for her. She is head over heels for me, too."
"My sister had a boyfriend 10 years older than her. I didn't have a problem with the age gap, even though the fact that he had his first child when my sister was 13 weirded me out.
They weren't dating long, but she intentionally got pregnant six months into the relationship. I was really excited to meet him during a family trip, seeing as he's the father of my niece. Upon meeting him, I got a strange vibe from him and found myself anxious at the idea of being alone with him. He didn't do or say anything strange though, and generally seemed like a nice guy. Still, when it was just me and him, I felt incredibly tense, like he would try to assault me at any moment.
I stayed at my sister's place for a few days, then went home in the next province over.
He added me on Facebook, and then I got a message saying he thought I was super cute and he wanted to get together. He tried to cheat on my sister, who WAS 6 MONTHS PREGNANT, with me.
I didn't reply, I just screen-capped the message and sent it to my sister and my mom, asking my mom to look out for my sister since her boyfriend is a puddle of grease.
After some issues, my sister is now a single mother."
"When I was a kid, one of my cousins was married to this dude name Keith. I hated Keith. He had been around since the day I was born, and I screamed EVERYTIME he held me. When I was about 10 or 11, Keith built my cousin a new beautiful house for them and their two boys. When it came time to move in, he never packed his stuff, and he wasn't 'ready' to sell the old house. When my cousin got upset and confronted him, he said, 'Because I have another wife and her and our two kids are moving in here. The house is in your name, so I hope you like it.' He had a 2 and a 4-year-old with another woman that he was living with part-time while he was still married to my cousin. They were college sweethearts and she was completely blindsided by it. She has since remarried and is massively content, but forget you, Keith."
"My girlfriend and I were looking for apartments for a few months, but to no avail. I came across one that she absolutely loved, and we went and looked at it soon after. It was a two-bedroom with a large living room and multiple closets. Although for some reason I just didn't like it. I'm not normally one to get bad vibes, but for some reason, I really just did not feel right in the place.
I told the landlord we just weren't interested. My girlfriend was a little upset with me especially since we had been looking at quite a few places and this one was right in our price range. I told her for some reason I just got a bad vibe being in there. A few weeks later, we found a cheaper place and the perfect size not too far from that other apartment. So it all worked out in the end.
Fast forward to a year later, my girlfriend and I were watching tv when she begins to smell smoke. We shut off the tv and go about the apartment trying to find the source. Soon we began to hear sirens going down the streets. We looked out the windows and didn't see anything going on. So I said I'd go outside and figure out what was happening.
The smell was much stronger outside. I walked two blocks over to follow the sirens and see smoke pouring out of that apartment we had looked at. There were fire trucks everywhere and more kept coming. I stared in disbelief as the place we almost rented was being sounded by firemen smashing out windows. At the end of it, I counted 18 fire trucks lined up and down the street. Most of them seemed to be just waiting, ready in case the fire spread.
After watching for what seemed like forever, I realized I forgot my phone to call my girlfriend. I walked back and found her with my landlord and his wife in the backyard. I told them that the place up in flames was the place we almost rented. My girlfriend was in disbelief. My landlord offered me a cold one and we all just watched for probably another hour as the firemen kept the blaze under control.
After the fire was put out, a total of three buildings were lost including the building with the unit we almost rented. The next day I purchased renters insurance. I'm not a religious person, but I believe that bad vibes mean something."
"I was hanging out with some friends at their apartment with my boyfriend when I was 17. I got a terrible feeling and just wanted to go home. I begged my boyfriend to come home with me, but he said I was a party pooper. He wanted me to stay. I couldn't shake it though and just wanted to leave. I had this bit of anxiety balled up in my tummy for what felt like no reason.
I went home, felt better, and went to sleep. At 6 a.m. I got a phone call; it was my boyfriend. There had been a murder right outside their front door and they were all being detained by the police. The nice seeming neighbor lady went and shot her twin sister."
"My cousin presented her new boyfriend to the family, and from the get-go, something felt odd with him. The only thing that he kept saying was how he donated a kidney to his father, and how he basically saved his father's life. Don't get me wrong, that's a great thing, but to me, a person that starts any conversation with something like that is a sort of way to say, 'Look, I'm a good guy,' is trying to cover something up. Everyone in the family loved him and kept going on as how he did such a 'selfless thing.' No one listened to me. Well, three months later we found out he was a child abuser and basically extorted his father into giving him money because he donated the kidney. So much for being a great guy."
"Back when I was casually dating my significant other as a friend with benefits, this girl in his friend group gave me seriously bad vibes despite her being really friendly to me on the surface.
Over time, I had an instinctive feeling that she was attracted to him. It didn't bother me since he's an attractive guy, so it happens all the time. That is until she weaseled her way into moving into the empty room in his house when someone moved out. She spent a year and a half doing tiny passive aggressive things like speaking negatively about me, telling me she admired how 'little effort' I put in to looking good, inviting me over for smoothies only to say 'Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you were allergic to pineapple and put pineapple in it,' or making the group go out to do things I'd been asking to do while I was at work. For example, I love the carnival and asked everyone to go for a solid week. She was the one saying no every time. Then when I was working, I saw a selfie by her with my significant other and three other friends at the freaking carnival.
All of that was pretty mild until my significant other finally told me something that happened while we were still only casually dating. He told me that one night she came to his house after drinking claiming to be locked out of her house. Long story short, she asked to sleep in his bed and started kissing him almost immediately. They fooled around but he told her he had no protection so he could get out of sleeping with her, but she begged him to do her without anyway.
And another time when we were still casually dating, he made the silly mistake of confiding in her about us. Of course, she put a lot of energy into convincing him to end it with me. I'd like to point out at this stage that I was recovering from a pretty violent assault and going through chemo for ovarian cancer; two huge reasons as to why I wasn't ready for a relationship yet. She used them as 'reasons' why I was 'pushing for a relationship' and scared him into thinking I wanted something that I definitely didn't want. Thankfully he ignored her advice and came and spoke to me to clear things up."
"This is kind of a strange story. For a little context, I was in an abusive relationship for close to two years and was still suckered in time and time again for almost three years after that. One night I had a dream and it was such an intense combination of deja vu and nostalgia that the feeling it created in me was tangible, even though I was dead asleep. I woke up with an incredible feeling of release and cried because of how powerful all the emotions felt.
About ten minutes after I tried to get back to sleep, that ex called me. I didn't answer the phone. Then he texted me telling me he had just gotten t-boned and I was the first person he thought to call, after his parents. He apologized in his usual 'woe is me' nonsense. And that's when I realized how done I was with him as a person. I called him back to tell him I was glad he wasn't dead, but he was a manipulative, abusive piece of trash and I was good with going back to being strangers."
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"Among my family, I have become known as 'the jerk whisperer.'
I have step-sisters and female cousins that all went through a whole bunch of relationships. Every time I would meet one of the new guys, I would generally get pretty strong instincts about who they were as people. It was not anything specific that I could put my finger on, just a general 'something ain't right,' even if they came off as great guys to everyone else.
For the first few guys, whenever I'd express that I just didn't think things were adding up and wasn't a huge fan of him, I'd pretty much get ignored. 'Oh, he seems fine to me, you just don't like new people, so-and-so likes him so that's all that matters' kind of stuff. But then when the guys I had bad feelings about turned out to be cheaters or frauds or abusers or child predators, and the ones that I felt ok about have actually stayed together for a long time and were good dudes, it got to the point where my word about any of the young ladies' new beaus is basically gospel. In fact, this past Thanksgiving, after one of my cousins brought over her new boyfriend, the two had to leave early to spend some time with his family as well and pretty much as soon as the door closed behind him I had about 20 pairs of eyes on me instantly."
"The first day of my freshman year of college, I was standing in front of the building that my next class was in, looking at my map. A guy smoking asked if I needed help finding my class. I probably didn't, but he was cute, so I said yes. He got lost, so when we did find it, I was late. I quickly thanked him and went inside the classroom, and I thought that would be the end of it.
Two days later, when I had that class again, I was leaving the building when I saw him in the same spot he was in before. I had a break before my next class, so I joined him for a smoke. We got to talking about music; lo and behold, he was in a band that played my kind of music, and they had a show this weekend.
'I know you just met me, but would you like to come down with me to watch us play?'
Every single rational piece of my brain was like, 'no way I'm letting a dude I just met drive me to [city] for the weekend,' but I also had the strongest gut feeling I've ever had telling me to go.
We were together for almost four years."
"My ex would constantly tell me things that seemed like they could be true with just enough details to make them believable, but they were also just a little bit exaggerated, so it made her seem like her role in the story was more important or more unique. It always felt a little off, but she always had the benefit of plausible deniability on her side.
One morning I was waking up for work, and she told me there was a huge screaming match at the neighbor's house where the two parents were fighting and making a scene. Her role in it was that she took their kids elsewhere while it was going on to keep them out of harm's way. The police were called, and the man was taken off to jail. Since I hadn't heard any of this going on, she just told me, 'Yeah, you were out like a rock,' which was quite possible, but still seemed strange.
Turns out she was a pathological liar and almost none of those things were true at all. My gut knew, but my brain reasoned the sense out of me."
"A guy I was friendly with at work asked me to lunch. We had lunch, the conversation was ok, but something about him seemed odd, and I decided not to date him if he asked. About an hour after that lunch, he sent me a love poem, via work email, and I would find him waiting at my desk when I came to work several mornings.
My co-workers teased me about it, but I was creeped out and pretty forceful in telling him that I was not interested, telling him to go away. He became infatuated with and married a girl in another department. Several years later one of the co-workers who teased me emailed me a link to a newspaper article reporting he'd been arrested for violating a young girl. She apologized and told me I was right to be wary."
"In high school, my girlfriend had me come to her youth group, and her youth pastor, who was also a music teacher at our school and adored by the community, REALLY didn't sit well with me. I saw him go from 100% praise singing to turning around to his wife and mutter something awful to her with the worst glare I'd ever seen, then go right back to fake-smile singing.
I told my girlfriend that he seemed really fake and there was a dark side to him. It turns out, he was really into kiddie smut, and even started buying drinks for his pupils and inviting them to his house. The church knew, covered it up, and he eventually got arrested for misconduct with a minor, did a quick jail stint and moved out of state."