All It Takes Is A Little Vomit To Ruin Your Favorite Food
“My mom makes the best fudge ever. It’s a special occasion treat, which is only made a few times a year.
One day, one of my sisters was home sick and ate a bunch of fudge. She then vomited it all over the carpet and left it sitting there for hours. When I got home from school, I had to scrub it out of the carpet while she watched Shaggy music videos.
I can still smell the disgusting combination of vomit, fudge, and cleaning products. Now the smell of fudge and the sound of Shaggy’s song ‘Angel’ make me feel nauseous.”
One Of His Mother’s Failed Experiments Scarred Him For Life
“My mom doesn’t like cooking, so we ate pretty strangely growing up. She liked to purchase those magazines that tout ’15 superfoods for weight loss’ while standing in line at the grocery store. Based on one of those articles, she once decided that I wasn’t getting enough nutrients, and made me a bowl of grated cheese with an entire bulb of raw garlic chopped up and hidden inside. I was a 5-year-old expecting the taste of cheddar, but instead got a pungent punch in the mouth.
I don’t particularly find a bowl of grated cheddar to be a normal meal either, but as I mentioned, we ate pretty strangely in my household.”
Well, At Least They Scratched Two Things Off Their List That Day
“I lived in a fraternity house in Mississippi some years ago. We had this great old guy who would fix stuff around the house named Mr. Malone. One day he invited a few of the guys to his nephew’s birthday party way out in the sticks.
Among the food served was some meat that looked like a darker version of pulled pork with small bones strewn throughout. Mr. Malone offered me a cup of this rough homebrew he made from Muscatine and a slice of Bunny Bread with that meat on it.
It was raccoon. A chewy, oily, gamey tangle of awful. The only way to get rid of the taste was with big swigs of the homebrew between bites. But the brew was so bad that I ended up chasing that with the sandwich. The speed I ate and drank made it look like I loved the stuff.
He had so little, it was really humbling to eat his food and celebrate with his family. Even if that raccoon sandwich was the worst thing I’ve ever eaten.”
I Don’t Think They Were Expecting THAT In Their Dish
“I lived in a small city that had some of the worst food. All the restaurants sucked. My parents were in town, and my mother-in-law and sister-in-law wanted to take us out to eat at a Chinese place. I’m always very leery of Chinese food restaurants. I loved them as a kid but as I got older it seemed good Chinese cuisine was hard to find. I had been to this particular place once before and it had a dingy diner vibe to it, with a middle-aged raspy-voiced hostess. I didn’t want to go. My MIL and SIL told me it had changed owners now and was really good. So I acquiesced and off we went.
I ordered a fried rice dish with basil, but when I got it, I started to notice it was kind of minty. My MIL and SIL were like: ‘Oh, the basil and mint are probably right next to each other and got mixed up!’ I don’t see any fresh mint leaves and it sure tastes a bit…mouthwashy, but I do notice a stringy substance that I’m confused about.
At first, I thought it was an egg, but as I got to the center of my dish, I found the nucleus. It was gum. It was someone’s nasty mint gum that I’ve been eating. The owner apologized, and my meal was comped. They offered to make me a new meal, but I declined. My mom looked horrified because she hated eating out for reasons like that. My MIL and SIL assumed it got stuck on the plate and went through the wash and my meal went on top but, man, I don’t know, it got a bit melty and mixed into my rice. I took that as a lesson to be assertive about where I don’t want to eat.”
A Birthday He’ll Never Forget
“I’ll never eat fish tacos again. The night before my birthday, my dad, his girlfriend, and I went and got tacos from a hipster Mexican place. We were spending the weekend on a very nice docked boat, so we were surrounded by water.
After we finished eating, we went out to a park to stargaze (a huge meteor shower was happening that weekend). All of a sudden, it felt like I chugged blended uranium, it was such a horrible feeling. So we got into the truck and got out of there. Halfway back to the boat, the stomach pain doubled and I just had to go. We ended up pulling into the parking lot of an outside Italian place, and I sprinted to the bathrooms in the back. Unfortunately, the male bathroom was full, but the women’s room wasn’t (these were those little one toilet bathrooms). I spent 15 minutes in there until I heard a female voice complain: ‘Well, no one can go because the bathroom is being hogged,’ and a wave of fear washed over me. I decided I had two options – I could either wait for my bowels to finish their course and face the inevitable crowd of women surrounding the door, or I could finish prematurely and hope nobody was outside. I chose the latter. Luckily, nobody was there to witness this poor man’s food poisoning in action. I hustled back to the truck and we continued our horrible quest back to the boat. Somehow we made it without me losing my lunch (actually dinner but lunch is most used), and I finally relaxed on the couch in the boat. It was all going well until my stomach suddenly decided I just had to hurl. So I got up, walked onto the dock, and waited.
It had just turned 12:06 am, marking the beginning of my birthday. Vomit suddenly flew out of my mouth at the speed of light, all into the water. I pleaded with God that it would all be ok afterward. And it was, but only after I puked seven more times.”
Their Taste For The Exotic Stopped Here
“I don’t try many exotic things, and honestly, I’m typically pretty great at accepting that most food is generally alright and has some redeeming qualities. Other than trying a spoonful of minced garlic, the worst thing I’ve ever eaten was ‘homemade dip’ with crackers.
The idea was fairly simple. I was in college and didn’t have any money for food, and all I had to eat for the rest of the week was crackers, shredded cheese, bologna, and some hotdogs. So I decided to make a little dip for my crackers but didn’t want to go through the busy task of chopping or cutting things up myself.
So I took my roommate’s blender and tossed in the bologna, hot dogs, cheese, a spoonful of mayo, a bit of salt, pepper, and the shredded cheese. BLEND!
I expected a paste that would look something like Armour’s potted meat. It did, and I was happy with the outcome, look wise at least. I basically made a giant container full of it. I used all my lunch meat and hotdogs for it. I used a knife to spread the ‘potted meat dip’ onto a cracker and took a bite. Nope.
I have a decent iron stomach. No bad Taco Bell stories. I like fried chicken liver. I’m not a picky person.
But this? It was so bad, I couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. I tried about four more crackers. I tried less, I tried more, I added more mayo to it. I tried putting mustard in it. It didn’t work. My whole pack of bologna and hotdogs and shredded cheese was wasted. I was so mad.
I don’t know why it tasted so unholy; I love both hotdogs and bologna and neither had gone bad. I’m not brave enough to try my mixture again to test if it was some sort of fluke or if I just didn’t put enough mayo in or what.”
He’ll Make Sure To Skip His Friend’s Next Dinner
“I used to know a guy who thought he was a good cook and jumped at any chance to make dinner. However, he cooked like a kid (with a dash of Charlie Kelly) and would just throw random ingredients in for flavoring. He decided to bake some chicken drumsticks once and prepared a sauce to go with them made of peanut butter, honey, and spices that didn’t really work with the dish and what likely amounted to most of a bottle of Sriracha. In my experience, anyone who sucks at cooking overuses Sriracha. It’s something I learned from this person, and I say that as someone who grew up using that stuff all the time.
He baked these things for at least two hours and ended up with something that looked like cream of mushroom soup with chicken gobbets in it. It tasted horrible until the Sriracha took over everything and all you tasted was spice.
Then he demanded that we save the drumstick bones so he could make stock with them for the next day’s dinner. I went to Wendy’s that night instead.”
Maybe They SHOULD Have Gone To The Hospital
“I ate at In-N-Out for the first time (last time) around lunch before an evening flight back home, and I’m pretty sure I got food poisoning.
While waiting for my flight, I started to feel a little strange. I ended up with the runs prior to the flight, then my head started getting light. When it came time to board, I ended up blacking out for a second or two while making my way to my seat. I came to with my arms locked holding myself up by gripping the seats on either side of the aisle and people asking if I was ok. ‘Sure, just a little nervous.’
I proceeded to alternate between destroying the bathroom and puking into multiple bags for the remainder of the flight while everyone looked on in horror. I must have filled four or five bags. I insisted it was just air-sickness because I didn’t want the plane to land somewhere random and make everything worse for everyone. It took a couple days to recover and pretty much wrecked my time at home. I was 20 at the time and didn’t realize how serious everything could have been. Knowing what I know now, I should have gone to the hospital.
I still feel terribly bad for the lady that sat next to me.”
It Tastes Gross, But It Looks Even Worse
“I will never eat fried butter again! My whole family got an order to try at the Wisconsin State Fair, and it was a huge mistake.
Once you bit into the fried outer shell, one of two things would happen. In my case, you would get a giant squirt of melted salty butter in your mouth. It tasted and felt so gross.
Or, you could be like my boyfriend (now husband) and have the other result when you bit into the fried outer shell. Instead of squirting into your mouth as a ‘salty surprise,’ the butter had about a 50/50 chance of squirting out the other end. In his case, it squirted all over my mother…. and trust me, once the fried melted mess is all over your clothes it looks even more disgusting than it tastes.”
This Is Why Only Trust Professionals
“There was this student-run cafeteria on campus when I was in community college. I always got the burrito, because it was the cheapest thing on the menu. Every time I ordered one of these burritos, it varied wildly in quality but was generally positive on the continuum of price to taste.
These weren’t culinary or hospitality students or anything – just community college kids who needed a job. One time, right after they transitioned to lunch from breakfast, I ordered a burrito, got it, went to my seat and took a bite. My face froze as I looked off into the distance, burrito bits oozing out of my mouth in disgust.
I instantly knew what had happened – they put this cheap nacho-style cheese in the burrito, right. The thing is, that cheese is contained in a clear squirt bottle, like your classic ketchup and mustard bottles. However, the scrambled eggs were made with a liquid egg substitute, also in a clear squirt bottle, and it being just after breakfast, someone had confused the two.
The kid in the kitchen had squirted uncooked scrambled egg mix all in my burrito.”
When Being Nice Has Its Consequences
“My in-laws were visiting from Turkey. In Turkey, it’s common to have soft-boiled eggs mixed up in a little bowl with some cheese crumbles for breakfast. My father-in-law was nice enough to make me this breakfast one morning, but used one of my cheeses instead of a blander Turkish cheese in this dish. I didn’t realize he was making me breakfast before I left for work, so it sat out for a while…nothing better than cold runny eggs.
I tried to be polite and just scarf down the cold gooey gross egg, but I wasn’t expecting the sharp hit of blue cheese. I had a visceral reaction to the combination of tastes and textures and temperatures and immediately threw up.
That was a fun morning.”
No More Almonds… With One Exception
“I can no longer eat almonds. As a young adult, I was obsessively shedding pounds, eating a meatless diet, and working out like crazy, and developed an obsession with cocoa dusted almonds to try to kill off my cravings (I would also like to make note that I knew jack about nutrition). I ate so many almonds. They weren’t even affordable, because I was just a super part-time pizza boy, making $100 to $150 a week, trying to keep gas in a car that got 14 MPG, and the restaurant was 10 miles from my house.
But I always made sure to get my pounds of cocoa almonds. And then I got the flu. I guess it was a mental association, but now when I see them, I picture a swollen throat and vomit. I can’t even stomach plain almonds or any other kind of flavor dusted ones.
I will probably never eat another one in my lifetime… unless it’s shaved over a Bearclaw.”
Not Even His Grandpa’s Memory Could Get Him To Go Back To This Fast Food Chain
“Growing up, Kentucky Fried Chicken was my grandpa’s favorite fast food, so we’d get it occasionally and it would be a big treat as we were poor and generally didn’t eat out.
In my early 20’s, on the day before Christmas Eve, a friend and I were going to Friendsmas when we stopped at KFC on the way.
Both of us got so ragingly sick that we had to go to the Emergency Room. The nurse there said it was the worst case of food poisoning she’s seen and that a bunch of others that were trickling in all ate at KFC.
It ruined the holidays for both of us. It’s been nearly 20 years since I’ve had KFC, and even thinking about it is making my stomach a little twitchy.
They Might Want To Read The Instructions Next Time
“I was talking with a coworker of Chinese descent and somehow got onto the topic of century eggs. He mentioned he could pick some up in the city’s Chinatown if I wanted to try some. Sure, why not?
He walked in the one morning with a box (six or so) of them and offered me one. I unwrapped it and took a whiff; it wasn’t too bad. I started eating it while he was laughing a bit since he thought I wouldn’t do it. All was fine until I got to the yolk. The ammonia and sulfur smell instantly became almost unbearable as the dark pastel green colored yolk began oozing out. It reeked of horse urine and manure, and with only a bite or two left I started gagging and came pretty close to throwing up. Since I was at work and didn’t want to create a spectacle, I admitted defeat and threw away the rest.
My coworker told me afterward that usually they’re eaten with ginger or cut up and eaten with noodles in a broth. Made sense since the aroma and flavor was so intense.”
I Think We’ve All Had This Response To Taco Bell One Time Or Another
“I made the mistake of eating a Mexican pizza from Taco Bell. I ate one and was vomiting up everything I’d eaten in my whole entire life only a few hours later.
Then the diarrhea started while my stomach was still trying to rid itself of I guess my upper small intestine or something because that was the only thing left. I dry-heaved so hard I crapped my pants, then when I took my clothes off in an attempt to fall into the shower and wash myself, I got the poop on the bathroom floor – might I add that my friends and I were on a road trip staying the night in this dump of a cabin with a CARPETED BATHROOM. Once I was showered, I had to scrub my own crap out of the horrible bathroom carpet.
At that point, it was a good thing I didn’t have anything left to puke because I was dry heaving due to the smell.
I still eat at Taco Bell, but never will I ever touch their Mexican pizza again.”
“I Still Felt Like I Was Taking Cancer Sauce”
“I have a few.
I can’t eat anything that is grape-flavored because I got sick in the second grade on a grape-flavored Fruit Rollup.
And those nasty peanut candies? Like, circus peanuts? I was little and I put too many in my mouth and they seemed to get bigger and syrupy and I started to choke and I can just see them floating in the toilet water now.
Also Triaminic, the nastiest, most nuclear-poison cough syrup my mom used to make me take. It would make my throat and eyes burn, and the last time I took it, I hurled it up in the sink. It was dyed the same color as the poison stuff in the sewers in TMNT, and I didn’t even watch that show, but I still felt like I was taking cancer sauce.”
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