The first date can be a very nerve-racking experience, especially when meeting for the first time. One of the most stressful things to deal with is the fear of saying the wrong thing. Apparently, the people telling the following stories had dates with people who felt completely comfortable saying the wrong thing.
These people took to Reddit to share the most messed up things that someone said to them on a first day. Some of these stories may make you laugh. Others will make you cry. All of them will finally convince you to delete your dating app.
TRIGGER WARNING: of what, exactly? Pick one. They are all here.
We All Have Our Habits, But Some Should Remain Private
“A male co-worker I was a little interested in invited me over his house to chill. It was fine, at first. We were playing video games and what not. Then, things started getting weird.
I have NO idea why, because we were not even discussing anything remotely similar, but he told me that after he showers, he likes to peel the dead skin off his feet and eat it. I noped out of there so freakin fast. He quit not long after that, too, thank god.”
It Was Obvious Who Paid The Bill That Night
“I met a girl on OkCupid way back and we went out on a date. We agreed to meet up for a drink and see how well we hit it off. While there, she decided to order wings and was making an absolute mess while we chatted.
This girl told me more or less everything about her life, including her credit score, which was terrible. She decided she didn’t want to pay her student loans, and moved across the country without telling the institution rather than figure out what to do about it.
She said her next move was to get engaged with a guy she had been in a long distance relationship with for a couple weeks. They broke it off two months later. Our date was one week after that.
It was the first and only time I have ghosted someone. I didn’t want any part of that.”
That Date Did Not Last Long
“I had one date with this guy. He proceeded to tell me that his mother took advantage of him when he was a child. I didn’t know what to say, but awkwardly thanked him for trusting me. He told me he didn’t trust me, but I didn’t know any of his friends and I didn’t matter to him.
Fun date. Short date.”
Perhaps A Good Time To Call The Police?
“On my first date with this girl, not even five minutes in, she asked me how big my trunk was.
‘I can fit comfortably in it,’ I said. ‘I tested it once I first brought it.’
She then kept going on about how she would put my body in it once she killed me after the date. She went into some really good details. For the first 20 seconds it was kind of funny, but she kept going for a while. That was the last date I took her on.”
“Dodged A Bullet There, Huh?”
“I was in my mid-20s when I went to dinner on a first date with this girl. We had not even ordered food yet and I was looking over the menu when she blurted out this gem:
‘Just to make things perfectly clear,’ she said, ‘I’m never going to do it with you.’
We were 10 minutes into our very first date. Prior to that, the subject was never brought up. I just looked up from the menu confused and gave the I’m waiting for an explanation look. You know the look.
‘I just don’t believe in it,’ she explained.
‘I don’t believe that humans are meant to do it.’
I was doing my best to not be insulting, so I took my time before asking, ‘So you don’t intend on having children then?’
‘Oh, someday I will,’ she replied.
‘So, you plan on adopting?’
‘No. I want my own kids.’
‘OK, but having children requires it, right?’
She just gave me this incredulous look like I told her the Moon was made of cheese. She almost laughed when she said, ‘No!’
I wasn’t laughing. I really wanted to know how she thought people reproduced, but it was already super awkward. Instead, I asked her how long she had been single. It was my not-so-subtle way of trying to get to the bottom of her thought process on the subject. It turned out that this was her first date ever. She was the same age as me. Suddenly, the picture was starting to come into focus.
We made small talk through dinner. It was awkward and I certainly wasn’t feeling any connection to her. I got the impression she was sheltered to the point of damage. It wasn’t just about the lack of knowledge with physical intimacy. It was an all encompassing lack of fundamental understanding of social normalcy.
I was trying to be respectful, but it was really hard to ignore the complete disconnect. This was emphasized to a great point when she became upset when the bill arrived and I placed my card in the bill folder and set it on the edge of the table without comment. She asked me why I was paying for both of us. I told her that I was happy to cover dinner, at which point she became very angry, much to my surprise.
‘I am not your wife!’ she yelled, standing up.
She then dug angrily through her purse for a $20 bill, threw it on the table, and stormed out in a huff. I just sat there stunned with half the patrons staring at me. My waiter managed to save the moment by saying, ‘Dodged a bullet there huh?’
I do believe so.”
She Could Never Love Anyone Like She Loved Her Cats
“I was on a first date with a girl who worked at the bagel store next door. I got my lunch there a couple of days a week but, had only chatted her up for a few minutes before I asked her to dinner and a movie. We went to dinner and just had ordered our drinks and were discussing appetizers before she decided to make a confession.
‘Look, there’s something I need to tell you about,’ she said, ‘and I should have told you about them when you asked me out.’
Oh no, she has kids, I thought.
‘They’re my world,’ she said.
She showed me her phone. They were cats – about seven of them. I was a little relieved and just kind of laughed it off with an ‘Ooh, that’s cool.’ I thought I had dodged a bullet. But I was way wrong.
I asked what their names were. From then, and I’m not exaggerating when I say this, every moment for the rest of dinner was about those cats – who they were, what they like, how she got them, dietary restrictions, sleep schedules, etc. She even told me that her newest one was in heat and it was likely going to be pandemonium at her place for a while, so if we wanted to ‘hang out’ after, it would have had to be at my place. She said she needed to call and check on them. She had gotten a cat sitter for the night. Very, very odd, but she was nice, so we went to the movies.
It gets better.
We went to see Captain America. Keep in mind, she picked the movie. During the movie, she snuggled up to me. Obviously, she was not having a bad time. As we left the theatre, she was not very talkative, which was off because she had talked non-stop through dinner and the previews.
We got to my car at the theater and got in. She started kissing me and BAM – she started giving me a handy right then and there. She just went for it. I was shocked, but I just thought she was really into me. For the record, she had said maybe six words between the ending of the movie and the moment when she grabbed my member. It totally threw me off.
That finished and I looked to move things over to reciprocate. She shuts it down. I backed off and, confused, I asked if she wanted to go to my place and have a drink, or we could go to a bar. She did not respond. Then she turns to me and looked me dead in the eye.
‘Did you like the movie?’ she asked
‘Yeah, sure,’ I muttered. Before I could offer any kind of follow-up to her or about it, she cut me off.
‘I don’t think Alfie would’ve liked it very much,’ she said. ‘He hates movies like that.’
Confused, I asked, ‘Who is Alfie again?’
She got VERY FURIOUS.
‘My cat!’ she exclaimed. ‘WEREN’T YOU LISTENING?!’
She continued to SCREAM AT ME, telling me that her cats were her babies and their needs would need to be as important to me as my needs if we were going to see each other. I sincerely apologized for forgetting the cats’ names and told her that I would honestly try to commit all the info to memory so that this wouldn’t happen again. She told me to take her home, so I did, and confusingly apologized again en route. I pulled up to her place. As I started to talk, she got out, slammed the door, and went inside. I texted her that night and never got an answer.
I went into the bagel shop three days later and found that, the next day, she quit. She just called in and quit. Here’s the best part: I talked to the manager there, who told me that she quit. She told me that she knew my date’s mom who she still lived at home with. But the kicker was when she told me THERE ARE NO CATS. THEY DON’T EXIST.
THE CATS NEVER FREAKING EXISTED.”
He Had A Lot To Learn About Consent
“On a first (quite unofficial) date, the dude told me about how his dad beats him. Then, he showed me the scars. Then, he said ‘I love you’ 20 minutes later while trying to get in my pants. You would think that would be more than enough red flags, but it didn’t stop there
He messaged me that same night over Facebook. I told him I’d rather just be friends.
‘So you don’t wanna do it anymore?’ he asked.
‘I never did, actually.’ I replied. ‘Are you okay?’
He quickly turned into a total idiot and we never talked again. He had originally asked me out and he was pretty hot, so I said yes. It was unfortunate that he tried to guilt trip me into doing it with him with the whole ‘my dad beats me’ conversation. A couple months later, he started dating my friend on and off and they did nothing but argue.”
“She Said Some Stuff That I Found Quite Worrying”
“I went on a Tinder date with this one girl who ended up looking nothing like her photos. On top of that, she said some stuff that I found quite worrying.
She said how she was working with kids who have disabilities but got accused – wrongly she insisted – of abusing a teenage kid. She said the management of the company was against her, as well, and that they were trying to fire her, or something. She was upset because she liked working with those kids and was not sure what she would do for work now.
I said that if she liked that field of work so much and she’s being wrongly accused, why not just work somewhere else? She insisted that it didn’t matter where she worked. She would still be accused of misconduct with the kids. I asked her why it would follow her. She just shut down and acted like it was just the way things were.
It’s one thing to have a false accusation and then move on and try to protect yourself from that type of accusation again. It’s another to act like it is an inevitability that you will be accused of abusing kids. Most people do not get accused of that staf.
There was no second date, clearly, but she practically ran immediately after eating so I guess she wasn’t into me either.”
Hopefully That Property In L.A. Brought Her Happiness
“On a first date, which was a 66-minute dinner, my date told me that she bought property and was building a house in a nice part of LA. She also mentioned how her father died of an overdose. Additionally, she was recently divorced. Her ex-husband had beaten and violated her at various points in their relationship.
Then, she talked about how Asian girls were inferior to white girls, physically and mentally. She added that white guys who date Asian girls deserve to be cuckolded and are destined to produce genetically defective offspring.
She ended the date by skipping the pleasantries and saying she didn’t want a second date because I ‘seemed like a wuss.'”
Blind Date On V-Day Already Sounds Like A Bad Sign
“On Valentine’s Day, I went on a blind date. All was going fairly OK although we did not seem to click that well. But, it was fine. It was a cool evening… until she started drinking.
One of the signature drinks was called ‘Obama Mama.’ Somehow, that prompted her to start talking about how she and her sister had been having intimate relations with each other from the time they were 4 and 6 years old until their late teens. It all started because their mom’s boyfriend had made them do it. I thought she was trying to reach out to me, so I tried to match her tone and be supportive.
‘That’s disgusting,’ I said. ‘I’m so sorry you were hurt like that.’
She got offended and changed the subject. We finished our dinner in silence and I took her home. While we are friends now, we never spoke of it again.”
Her Attractiveness Level Went Down Very Quickly
“I was on a first date with a girl I had met on the internet. I picked her up and she looked HOT. It was very exciting. We drove to the restaurant, parked the car. Then, as we were walking up to the front door – she said to me, ‘You know, I’ve had two abortions.’
Then, she slowly slid her hand down my chest and said, ‘And I wouldn’t mind having a third.’
I assumed this was intended to be enticing, but all I could think was how messed up in the head she had to be to want more abortions. Maybe I’m weird, but I’d like to live in a world where abortion is legal, but no one feels the need to get one.”
The Silence Of The Goats
“On the first date with this guy, he told a story about when he was 7 and his father had him pick two goats from a farm for his younger brother’s birthday. He went on to discuss the trauma of watching them be ignited by a flamethrower and then watching their blood drained. He said he still has dreams about goats crying as a 30-year-old.
My understanding from that conversation was that the fire was meant to simultaneously remove the hair and kill the animal. The blood was drained for purification purposes, I believe? In any case, they were the meal for dinner that night, evidently.”
Some Intimate Interests Are Just Unacceptable
“I had a Tinder date with a guy who seemed amazing. We went to get down to business. Afterwards, we talked about our fetishes. He admitted to having a huge fetish for messing around in front of his parents. He also said that, as a young teenager, he got off a lot to animal gore, to the point at which he would hurt animals.
I got the heck out of there real fast and blocked him on every social media platform not long after. He still stalks my Twitter and keeps texting a friend of mine, asking her to tell me to get in touch with him.
“I went on a date once with a girl from Tinder. We met up and she was super hot, so I knew something was wrong. I’m a smooth talker, so we went to a quiet part of the bar. She said she felt like she could trust me.
She started going deep about how she practices Satanism, how she was inducted, and all that jazz. After an hour of Satan and demon talk (a whole hour), she told me I was such a good listener and that she wanted to do it really bad. I didn’t want to accidentally birth the Antichrist, so I made out with her and then ghosted her forever.”
Unique Response To A Typical Question
“I matched with a girl on Tinder. We got about 10 messages deep and were still, kind of, warming up to each other when I asked her opinion on watches.
‘I’ve had cancer 2 times,’ she replied, word-for-word.
We went on a few dates later with some similarly shocking reveals. Needless to say, they did not go well and I should have expected that.”
“More A Second Date Thing To Say”
“On a first date with a girl, she told me that her uncle chopped her aunt’s head off with an ax.
‘Yeah, that’s really more of a second date thing to tell me,’ I replied.”
If Anyone Could Be Called A Serial Bad Dater, It’s This Man
“My first date with a guy I met on Tinder started with him saying, ‘Oh, you don’t look like your photos at all!’
I had gained some weight and aged five years. I’m very non-confrontational, so I thought, OK, I can get through a dinner. Plus, I still wanted steak and there were drinks to get me through it.
We were sat at a table. He told me that, about a week before meeting me, he went to meet another girl but, as he waved to her when she was biking toward him, she stopped and TURNED AROUND to ride away. Then, he told me how much he loved his cat… and licked it clean, nightly. Then, he gave me his address so I could go visit and meet his cat.
I don’t think I have ever drinken as much as I did that night.”
She Exceeded His Expectations
“I picked up this girl from Tinder expecting just to hook up. We went to my place. After just chatting, I saw how cool this girl was. I asked how she was single and she told me her fiancé killed himself six months prior and she found his body. She told me this was her first time seeing someone since. She apologized because she really was not ready, but felt she needed to take the step to start healing.
We became really close friends. A year later, she transferred to a college close to my house. She already had this planned since before we met. We started dating. Two years later, I proposed. Two months ago, I married my best friend. It really was a hard road of building trust and healing wounds but it really was worth it.”
All She Tried To Do Was Be Honest
“I went on a date with a guy and it was our first time ever meeting. Before we even got to the bar, he had already told me his life story. I became fully caught up on every trauma this man had endured since childhood. I mean, it was rapid fire. He even told me he was still in love with his ex. I was completely overwhelmed, but tried to be supportive, which was a role I had never assumed before on a first date.
Later, when he asked me how I thought the date went, I asked if he wanted my honesty and he absolutely insisted that he did. I told him very politely after the date ended that he might try to give less of himself right off the bat and let things develop more organically. He thanked me for the helpful feedback and dropped me off with a hug.
A week later, he send me this:
‘I did take it to heart what you said. It’s a character flaw. I’ve often thought about suicide, but never seriously considered it until delving into what you said. You wanted open and honest and I gave it to you, but I feel the farthest from fulfillment. I know I was just a stranger on the Internet you thought maybe you and a connection with, but what you told me has consumed me and made me rethink every aspect of my life, every mistake. What’s the point of going on if all I’m capable of is suffering. I’m behind the curve in every way and, yet, I can’t seem to connect with anyone, no matter how intelligent and understanding they are. What’s the point of going on if all I’ll ever do is bring disappointment to those whom I thought wanted understanding? Your number will be blacklisted after this, so I won’t receive any messages from you. Just like my actions had ramifications, your words did too. My advice to you is to be more tactful in your criticism of your online encounters. Have a good life.”
I just responded with, ‘I truly hope you get the help you need.'”
Any Other Person Would Run Away, But Not Her
“It was my first date with a friend of a friend whom I had met briefly once before. He told me that he had served six years in federal prison for bank robbery and that his father had been very abusive to the entire family. Then, he described in detail how his father shot himself in the head in front of the whole family.
I was thinking I would just finish the date and then never see him again. But, he was actually a great guy who had completely changed after his father’s death. We stayed together for more than three years. I still consider him a friend.”
Interesting Who You See On Cop Shows
“It was the first time I had this girl from Tinder over. It was decently early and we were gonna go get food later, so we just watched TV in the living room. My roommate came home and we all started talking. Then, Cops comes on on the TV. I was not really paying attention to it, until the girl just blurted out, ‘Is that me!?’
Roommate and I were confused. I asked her what she was talking about.
‘The girl on the TV!’ she said.
The girl on the tv was threatening to cut herself.
‘I used to cut myself!’ she added.
My roommate and I just looked at each other and ignored it. I have not talked to her since.”