Is thousands of dollars of debt a red flag in a partner? One guy certainly seems to think so.
When picking a partner, there are always a few things to check before really settling down. Do they have any crazy exes? Are they a wanted criminal? Are they clean? After reading one Reddit users account of his girlfriend, I think adding crippling debt to the list might be worth a thought.
A Reddit user took to the forum to ask if he was justified in breaking up with his girlfriend after discovering her thousands of dollars of debt. He was looking to perhaps tie the knot, being financially independent, and 49 years old. He believed his girlfriend was in the same boat, but he was way off.
Despite having a well-paid job, she was still in debt. According to the post, he “found out she also has 6 figures of student loan debt, somewhere around $50,000 in credit card debt, medical bills, $700 vehicle payment, always overdrawn in her checking.”
Despite her thousands of dollars of debt, his girlfriend still spends frivolously. He noted that she “still gets nails, lashes, and hair done weekly…yadda yadda.” For him, this was a huge turn-off, and he simply couldn’t see himself being able to commit to someone with such blatant disregard for her finances.
Financial Red Flag
For the original poster, there was a sense of pride in the fact that he had achieved financial freedom. He owned his own house, had paid off his debts, and was sitting pretty until retirement. He owned his business, and his financial security was clearly important.
Being with someone who was so far on the opposite side of the spectrum was a real alarm bell for him. It’s important to have some of the same values in a partner, and she certainly didn’t share his. Being thousands of dollars in debt didn’t seem to bother his girlfriend the way it certainly would for him.
Debt is very common, especially in the US. Its normalisation has made many people okay with constantly having it hanging over their head. But for some, the idea of owing money is horrific.
Although it appears that she was fine with her debt, he clearly wasn’t. So, although she’s done nothing wrong, that kind of difference in mentality is certainly enough of a warning sign that the two wouldn’t be compatible.
Getting married to someone like that would quickly end up with some serious financial arguments.