Privacy is an essential concept for life. It allows us the freedom to do things in our own time that doing in the eyes of the public would be ill-advised. Some things are best left behind closed doors. It appears that some people either did not get that memo or did, but just happened to be in the wrong place and the wrong time.
People who have witnessed instances of people doing something outrageous for the whole world to see took to Reddit (what better place, right?) to share the experience. Content has been edited for clarity.
“It All Started With Them Yelling At Each Other”
“I was in Korea and saw two seemingly homeless men have a throw down, no holds barred, full out karate fight on a sidewalk in Seoul. It was about 5 am.
We were wasted, they were wasted, and craziness was in the air. It all started with them yelling at each other and quickly escalated when one of them did a standing high kick to the other guy’s head. It was instant ninja fight time and for about five or six minutes my friends and I were witness to countless kicks, hi-yuhs, spinning – really the whole nine yards.
It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Nobody believed us when we met up with our other friends the next night, but we know it happened and we know it was awesome.”
“He Tried To Deny It – We Said We Had Cameras”
“I used to work in a gym with a hot tub and pool and I was the opening person. For years, we had an issue of a person pooping in the pool. It used to be more of an occasional thing and then, at some point, it started happening every morning. It was really annoying because someone’s got to go tell all the people who didn’t notice the turd that they’re swimming in it and then scoop it out, close the pool, shock it with chlorine, and then it can not be used until a couple hours later when the chlorine levels go back down.
The pool pooper would do his thing before like 5:15 am, when we had been open 15 minutes. I wasn’t sure how that could happen. My boss asked me who I thought it was, but I knew. There was an old man who would be shaking on the door handles at 4:58 am, slamming the locked door. Then, when I would open the door, he would try and run straight in the gym without scanning his key because it would ‘take him too long’ to get behind the desk and take the key. Then, he’d run back to the locker room and I wouldn’t see him again until like 5:45 am when he was leaving and he wouldn’t say goodbye back to me, which is rude.
We got cameras installed in the pool after, like, the fourteenth day in a row of this happening. The camera was white, on a white wall, so you could barely see it. That next day, someone came up to the front desk and told me there was poop in the pool. I called my boss at, like, 5:20 am and was like, ‘COME IN NOW, WE’RE FINDING THIS OUT NOW.’
We watched the camera in horror. This guy would go into the hot tub and just soil himself. We watched him use one hand to pull the back of his swim trunks out a little and take the other hand and scoop the poo out. He would then TOSS it into the pool. He would do this a couple times, scoop whatever was just floating in the hot tub out, and then GO UNDERWATER. The soiling was all done before 5:05 am Then, right away, he’d get out and shower. Members said he would shave in the sauna, get dressed, and leave.
It was the foulest thing I’ve ever seen. We asked him not to come back because of his terrible actions. He tried to deny it, and we said we had cameras and if he tried to come back, we’d call the police, and then refunded the remainder of the year that he paid upfront but hadn’t used. He never responded or tried to come back after that as far as I know.”
When You Don’t Have A Table To Use, Improvise
“I was sitting at a park bench once at lunch time and a man and a woman approached. He was carrying his lunch in a Tupperware container. He sat down, and the woman climbed up on the bench and put herself on all fours over his lap.
He laid out his lunch calmly on her back, using her as a picnic table, and spent the next fifteen minutes eating. When he finished, he tidied up, and they stood up and walked away holding hands.”
Couldn’t Help Themselves Even In The House Of God
“Last year, someone in the community lost her 17-year-old son in a pretty bad accident that took three lives.
There was a pretty big turnout for her son’s funeral considering this is a small town and he was a senior in high school. Two of the high school kids decided to hook up in one of the church’s offices that only had a velvet curtain barrier while close to 300-plus people waited in line next to them for the visitation.
Not everyone was aware until the girl started moaning like she was being recorded for some sort of adult film. Shortly after, an elderly church official pulled back the curtain, scolded them, and the girl went running out crying. The boy sauntered out with a freaking smile on his face.”
“There Was A Violent Screaming From Inside The Machine”
“On winter break, I went to Colorado to go snowboarding. On the way home, I was going through security when a woman carrying a large suitcase and a rear facing car seat ran up behind me and asked to go ahead of me. Apparently, she was running late to her flight and it was scheduled to leave in 5 minutes. At that point, the TSA agent said that she had to put the car seat through the X-ray machine. The mom picked up the car seat and shoved it onto the moving belt and it slid into the machine.
All of a sudden, there was a violent screaming from inside of the machine.
The mom started freaking out and crying. Now, the TSA agents were upset as well, wondering what the heck was going on inside the machine. I looked at the screen and saw the outline of what appeared to be a small human. Next thing I knew, the car seat comes out the other side, flipped on its side. There was a baby who appeared to be just a few weeks old flailing inside of the overturned car seat.
Then, everyone was yelling and there was quite a cluster occurring. The lady talked with the TSA and was pulled to a back room.
I never found out if she made that flight. It makes me concerned knowing that there are people more insane than I thought possible.”
The Chicago Blue Line Is A Different World
“Anyone who’s been on the Chicago blue line will understand.
I got on the train, minding my own business, sat down at one of the ends, back to the window with eyes on my phone. The train started moving. A lady (for the purposes of visualizing this, she was an overweight woman in her work outfit) sitting directly across from me stood up after a minute. I barely noticed this peripherally and thought nothing of it. She then walked up right next to me where the train car doors were, so I glanced up and smiled to acknowledge her presence in my zone. She had a look of determination in her eyes and she fixed her eyes at the train doors leading out to the open air train car coupling.
She pulled the doors apart and stepped out. At that moment, I was pretty focused on what I was reading and I didn’t process that as being anything out of the ordinary. I shrugged, looked down, and focused again on my phone. Then, I stopped and thought about what I just saw after a delay of a few crucial seconds. What in the world was she doing out in the open air standing on the train car coupling? My seat faced away from where she exited, and I turned around to look at her out the window directly behind me.
If you’ve ever accidentally intruded on an unfamiliar cat pinching off in some host’s litter box, you’ll know the characteristic gait and the stressed, no-eye-contact laser beam look – like a war general ordering mortar fire. She was squatting, balanced on the coupling, counteracting all the bumps, turns, and speed deviations of the 40 mph blue line train with her quads and calves. She looked like Atlas, if his fate was to forever push a never ending spool of excrement out of his bowels or like the chocolate ice cream dispenser at your local all-you-can-eat buffet.
Her butt was also approximately one foot away from my face. The 40 mph wet poop flew in an arc, buffeted by the wind, like buckshot at my face. The pellets spattered all over the window in a resonant series of thick, disgusting thuds, and sent me instinctively bending backwards over the next row of seating.
I looked in awe at the window. It was a Pollock drip painting gone wrong: no color, only brown – no form, only splat and slow smear slide. She re-entered the train car and everyone sat down again like nothing had even happened.”
A Kubrickian Act Of Violence
“I saw a guy in A Clockwork Orange makeup beat up a homeless man on the subway. Someone pulled the emergency brake when we were in the station so we could throw this guy off the car.
Several people complained that we were going to be late when they had to wait to release the brake, as if riding all the way to Brooklyn with this ultra-violent maniac was a better option.”
You Never Know What You Might Find On Canada Day
“Last Canada Day, I was at a street festival in our local version of Haight and Ashbury, so there tended to be a wide selection of different people around.
I was granted the gift of watching a younger homeless-nomad-looking fella pick a beetle/roach thing out of his ear, nonchalantly pass it to his friend who inspected it and gave the ‘not bad’ Obama look to the guy. The friend proceeded to put the beetle thing in his coat pocket like it was something he should keep for a rainy day.”
Strangers On A Train?
“I was riding the bus once and there was a blind man sitting next to me with his seeing eye dog. A couple stops later, a man got on with a white cane and sunglasses. They sat facing each other.
Thirty minutes later when walking off the bus they bumped into each other and both apologized (Canadians). The one man grabbed the other man’s arm and said, ‘… Steve?’ and they both had a good laugh.”
Must Be The Luck Of The Irish
“I was in Las Vegas during St Patrick’s Day 2006. I was at some hotel that was semi-Irish-themed, though I cannot recall which one.
I was on my way to the restrooms when I saw a little person dressed as a Leprechaun. He was doing his thing, walking around, and having a jolly time. This girl saw him and just freaked out. She was completely smashed, just staggering about. So, she saw the Leprechaun, screamed in excitement, and ran over to him.
She then proceeds to run up and try to freak dance with him (think when you are in the club and rubbing against each other). So she tried to freak with him, but his head was about the height of her pelvis. Oh yeah – and she was wearing a mini skirt.
Basically, what happened is she ran up screaming, shoved his face into her hoo-ha, and then gyrated for a minute, while making tons of excited noise. After about a minute of this, she jumped up and cheered and ran off to the bathroom.
The poor little guy just stood there, slightly staggering and looked at me. ‘What the heck just happened?’ he asked me. Unfortunately, I could not answer because I was laughing so darn hard.”
“Pee Actually Came Out, Lots Of It”
“I was walking home from school. I was 10 years old and I was never normally allowed to walk home alone.
Some old man on a bicycle mounted the pavement and forced the front wheel up against me while screaming ‘You killed my daughter!’ repeatedly. I wet myself (pee actually came out, lots of it) and ran home, full steam, crying and screaming.
I am 28-years-old now, and still, What the heck?“
“This Guy Was Trying To Start A Mosh Pit With His Buddy”
“I was at a GWAR heavy metal show. This guy was trying to start a mosh pit with his buddy during the opening act. We had been in the venue for less than 20 minutes at this point and the opening act had just started. The guy cleared a space out, took a run, and tried to do a forward flip. I’ve never seen anyone land the way he did.
He bit the ground, face first. I heard a loud pop noise. His body went up over his head and flopped down flat. His head was twisted to the side and people started pushing around. He was out cold. Everyone closed in on the guy and security had to run in and yank him out of there. They put him on a board. While doing this, they had to fight off other morons trying to slam dance into them. They carried the guy out on the board and the show went on.
I think about that guy all the time and wonder if he recovered or not. It looked freaking brutal, but I know some of those types of injuries look worse than they actually are.”
There Was “Literally Minutes Of Screaming”
“I’ve seen homeless people do crazy things all the time, but there was one guy who was stirring up a load of attention. He went to a park full of kids, and decided to take a bath in the park’s pond. Mind you, not the cleanest of water bodies but, meh – only so much you can do in Los Angeles.
He sat down by the water’s edge and very stealthily stripped down and slid into the water in a single, much-practiced motion. Several kids noticed and were lined up making jokes while mothers whisked them away. Some of them were, no doubt, calling 911 for the man without clothing on kneeled neck deep in the murky water.
This isn’t the messed up part.
He then made his way to a far corner of the pond and ducked his head underwater to rinse his hair… and didn’t come back up.
Thirty minutes later, rescue crews were surrounding the pond. Scuba teams were pacing around looking for him, and then they motioned to a utility truck with a thumbs up. This man was snagged by the filtration intake and sucked underwater face first into a small pipe.
Then, for five terrifying seconds, the dozens of children and parents gathered to watch the rescue crews… well… they got to see the aftermath. They got to see the bloated, discolored corpse of a dead man hoisted out of a filtration pipe in a murky pond.
Minutes. Literally minutes of screaming. I’m positive it took weeks before those kids would take a bath again.”
“Seriously The Grossest Thing I’ve Seen”
“I was sitting in a coffee shop at this sort of bar thing working on my computer. This strange looking bigger guy sat down at the bar with a stool between us. He had a coffee and some lunch. After he finished eating his lunch, he proceeded to lift up his shirt, exposing his bare belly, which had a long, vertical scab on it. He then started picking at the scab and eating the pieces.
Seriously the grossest thing I’ve seen.”
“A Smelly Bum Approached Me”
“I was walking down High Street late one night, about 2 am or perhaps later, on my way home from campus. A smelly bum approached me and, immediately, I thought he was going to ask for money, as is common in the area.
Instead, he said, ‘Hey man, you see those two girls over there?’ On the sidewalk across the street, about half a block down, going the opposite way from me, were two girls wearing dresses. Each was carrying a big bouquet of flowers.
‘I gave them flowers and I told them they were from YOU!’ the bum said, pointing at me.
This guy was someone I had never met before. As I blinked uncomprehendingly, he yelled loudly across the street, pointing at me with wild exaggerated gestures, ‘HEY!!!! HEY GIRLS!!!! THIS IS THE GUY!! THIS IS THE GUY!!!’
The girls waved the flowers at me and called out thank you’s. I continue walking home, confused. Strangest nightly encounter ever.”
Unusual Train Of Thought
“I was riding on the C-Train in Calgary one night with a couple of friends. There was this well-dressed man who was narrating everything out. As we approached one of the downtown stops, this guy said, ‘Looks like we’re entering downtown Calgary!’
My one friend was kind of annoyed by this, and said, ‘Oh Really? I thought this was Edmonton! Thanks!’
This was a big mistake. The guy got set off.
‘I’ll make this Edmonton for you!’ he said.
He waited for the train to come to a complete stop and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a handful of nails and tossed them to the ground. Calmly, he stepped off of the train, never to be seen again.”
“The Guy Cried And Asked Me Not To Fire Him”
“I was a security supervisor for a few years. I got a call early evening one day that my assistant supervisor who was on route that night was not responding to radio checks. All of the guards that drove routes had several scan points we had to hit each night and it registers when you hit the point. He had hit his point out at an oil lease we check every night, but he had not hit the next location yet, which he should have been at.
The only stop between was at one of our stationary guards location to check in on them twice a night. I had to drag my butt out of bed and drive a half hour out into the hills in the middle of nowhere to a kitty litter plant where our stationary guard was to see if she had seen the supervisor yet.
I found them in his company truck parked up on a hill near the plant with a blanket in the bed of the truck and apparently recovering together from the love session they had just had. The plant was 24 hours operational, so there were people walking around in and out of the plant and anyone could have driven up that hill to go to the water tower or supply yard, but they apparently didn’t care.
Both of them were terminated on the spot and the girl spit on me and told me I was just jealous that she wasn’t doing me. The guy cried and asked me not to fire him because he didn’t want to have to explain to his parents what happened. The plant manager also had to be informed what was going on because we had to ask both of the guards to leave the property and I had to stay there myself until another guard arrived to finish the shift and he wanted to know what was going on, why three guards were up there, and why two of them (including their regular) were leaving in the middle of the night.
The whole freaking thing was just awkward and uncomfortable and we almost lost the contract with the plant over it.”
“We Had A Few Laughs That He Was Hungover Or Even Dead”
“My daughter and I were moving from Chapel Hill, North Carolina to Apex, North Carolina. We were driving the moving truck down a rural road and saw a man who appeared to be in his late 50s, mowing his yard with a riding mower. He was a very tanned guy who looked like he spent a lot of time outdoors.
As we got closer, we noticed that he was sitting in the seat, leaning forward slightly with his eyes closed. We had a few laughs that he was hungover or even dead. We laughed about it all the way to our new apartment.
We unloaded the truck and headed back to pick up a second round of stuff from the old apartment going in reverse on the same rural road. As we passed the area where the guy on the mower had been, we saw several people standing around a sheet in the yard. The sheet was not quite large enough to completely cover the man’s body. His lifeless feet were still visible. The mower he had been riding was on its side next to the tree that it had hit.
Turns out the guy that we were joking about being dead was actually dead. We saw a dead guy riding his lawn mower.”
“I Saw Something Literally Jump Across The Ride Out Into The Field”
“I grew up in England. I had some friends who moved to the U.S. in the early 1990s. They came to visit us in London one year and we took their young nephew to a fair local to us. We had some fun, went on a few rides, and then went on a tilt-a-whirl – one of those rides in which a bunch of people get in a pod type thing and a bar that everyone holds on to to keep them in place.
Anyway, my two friends and their nephew and I got into the pod, the bar came down, and off we went. While we spun around, it’s normal for people to help on the rides, to spin the pods around. Not all the pods were used, but the bars usually have to be put into place even when empty. We were going around and there was this giant bang, and then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something literally jump across the ride out into the field.
The ride stopped. This alarm rang out, and people started screaming. When we got out, there was a ‘carny’ laying about 50 feet from the ride. His head was facing the opposite way it should have been and one of his legs was the same way. Someone asked if anyone knew first aid. At the time, I was a Red Cross certified first aid provider, so I went over.
It was pretty clear he was on the way out – blood was gushing out of his mouth, his eyes were glazed over, and he was convulsing. When I tried to help, another carny jumped on me and dragged me away. They wouldn’t let anyone touch him. By the time the ambulance got there, he was already dead.
Hundreds of people witnessed the carnies jumping me and pulling me away, so the police shut down the whole fair, looking for the people who assaulted me. My friends’ nephew was just 6 years old at the time. He is now 24 and he still has nightmares about it. I haven’t been to a fair or theme park since.”
“I Looked Around To See If I Was Being Punk’d”
“I pulled into a university building to drop some paperwork off. In and out in five minutes tops, so I just parked in the loading zone and threw on my hazards (as was the thing to do). I came out maybe looking for a ticket and I saw none. What I did see, though, was a body bag – full – now propped up against the ‘no parking’ sign. I am certain this was not there upon entering the building.
As I walked up to my car, some dude came out of nowhere, looked right at me and said, ‘What?’
Though his mouth only said, ‘What?’ his eyes were saying, ‘What…. you freaking idiot?’
He throws it over his shoulder and walks away. I looked around to see if I was being Punk’d. I was not.
Just get in the car… and drive away. It’s the only thing to do.”