1. In college, I had a lot of crazy, curly hair. This girl in one of my classes started chatting me up, and said, “You have great hair. Whenever I see guys with good hair like that, I like to imagine grabbing on to it while we make out.”
I was all, like, “Oh, that’s interesting. See ya later!”
2. I was hanging out with a crush of mine. She ordered an ice-cream cone, then ‘accidentally’ smeared it on her cheek, and asked me to get it off. I grabbed the last napkin and wiped it off. Persistent as ever, she ‘accidentally’ smears ice-cream on her other cheek and politely informs me that I can get it off with my mouth, given our napkin deficit. I just said, “Nah, I hate strawberry”, and used my dry elbows to get it off.
3. Her: “No one has even asked me to homecoming!”
Me: “Yeah, me either. So what are you going to do?”
Her: “Well, I guess if no one is going to ask me… I’ll probably just stay home.”
Me: “That’s probably what I’ll end up doing too.”
Her: “Yeah, so… it would be really nice to go though.”
Me: “I agree, but oh well!”
Her: “…”
Me: “Mind if I call you that night?”
Her: “Ummm, sure.. “
4. Girl kisses me in the dark in her bedroom at her birthday party. “You should leave before we do something stupid,” she whispers. I nod and leave.
5. One time, a girl kissed me on a school bus without warning and told me that I could get off at her stop and we could walk to her house because her parents weren’t home. I said no because I was going to miss an episode of Dragonball Z.
6. I once had a cute female in my bed. Said she was cold. So…I gave her another blanket.
7. This girl and I were alone in my apartment, and we’d just finished watching a movie. She’d had her head resting on my lap the entire time. Afterwards we were spooning on the couch, she cuddled up against me, kissed me on the cheek, and looked up at me expectantly. I stared at her for a few moments and then said, “so… what do you want to do?”. After a while I ended up taking her home.
8. Her: Do you want to take some nude pictures of me at my place?
Me: Nah, I’m not that good at photography.
9. In high school, a girl asked me for a ride home from a football game one time, to which I agreed. She asked if I wanted to come in and see her room (I forget why this seemed like a normal thing), and that it wouldn’t bother her parents because they weren’t home.
So, I went in and had a tour of her house, then left. Thinking back on that moment makes me cringe.
10. Girl in high school and I were walking together, and she stroked my hand then held out her hand. I proceeded to high five it, and nothing happened between us after that.
11. I was at a new year’s party and at 11:56 was talking to a girl who said “Man, I wish I could kiss someone at midnight on new year’s.” I was like “Me too. Sounds like it’d be fun.”
We were quite literally the only singles at the party and were sitting directly next to eachother when midnight struck.
She looked over at me and I just kind of smiled and went back to drinking my Sprite.
The worst part is I saw her again the following New Years, joked about missing the hint and she said “haha yeah you were kind of oblivious” and then the exact same thing happened a second time.
12. In eighth grade, two girls told me they thought I was cute and that they wanted to kiss me, together. I thought it was a trick, so I hit them with a stick and ran away. No regrets.
13. A girl once shyly approached me at a friend’s house and said, “So, I think I need to learn how to make out. I think I might just, you know, ask a male friend to be a, you know, a test subject. And give me feedback.” I said, “Huh, okay, tell me how that goes for you,” and then I played Settlers of Catan for four hours.
14. Girl grabs my arm as I walk past her table at the bar. “Hey!” she laughs. “Remember when you offered to buy my friend a drink?” The other girl is giggling and blushing furiously. I look at the girl who grabbed my arm. She makes “go get her” motions with her eyes. I smile. “I’m sorry,” I say, “you must have mistaken me for someone else.”
15. A girl once made me a mix CD with gooey love songs. I listened to two songs, then threw it away because the music sucked. I am not a smart man.
Sources: 1, 2, 3