Have you ever had that one kid in class that would literally never speak a word? Well, then you may know that when they do finally choose to speak up, some hilarious, weird or downright disturbing things can come out of their mouths.
Mad Dog Mike Will Get You
“The seniors played ‘locker pinball’ with the underclassmen. It’s exactly what it sounds like. They bounced one little guy constantly. Made him late for class a lot because they’d keep him bouncing so long.
Well, one day they were bouncing him and he super politely said, ‘Please stop, you’re hurting me.’ Obviously, the seniors bounced him harder. Apparently, that was this kid’s breaking point because he leaped onto the nearest senior, who just happened to be our star basketball forward. The little freshman BIT into the senior’s neck and literally tore a mouth full of skin off. He just stood there…with this piece of bloody skin on his shirt…GROWLING at everyone.
Needless to say, no one ever messed with ‘Mad Dog Mike’ after that…”
A Yearbook Quote You Probably Shouldn’t Use
“The quietest kid at school had the quote ‘I will rip out your spleen’ in the yearbook…
Turns out that he was not happy like I remembered…he looked psychotic!
She Made Everyone Tear Up
“I will never forget this as long as I live – it was like perfect cinema in real life.
This quiet, weird girl in 10th or 11th grade always wore this giant coat and looked messy. She was a bigger girl and had a sister who was super pretty and skinny and popular.
Anyway, this big, awkward, quiet, friendless girl shows up at a talent show at the school. People weren’t being obviously mean, but there was definitely an air of confusion when she came out on stage in her big messy coat and disheveled clothes.
She sat at the piano and started to play, and sing, and just, my god… It was surreal. She sang this haunting bluesy song no one had ever heard before and the auditorium just went dead silent. I distinctly remember tearing up and I’m tearing up now 20 years later just remembering it.”
All He Wanted Was The Time
“So this one kid, who barely ever said two words one day asked the teacher for the time (it was at some after-school thing and there was no clock). The teacher said the classic ‘Time for you to get a watch,’ which for some reason was funny to everyone else.
The quiet kid did NOT laugh. He looked the teacher dead in the eyes, and once everyone quieted down, he said, ‘So are you gonna tell me the FREAKIN’ time, or what?'”
Sassing Back The Teacher
“This was when I was in my first semester of college. There was this girl who never said a word. The teacher would ask her questions, she would just not say a word. I can honestly never remember her even making a noise.
One day the teacher got upset, he felt like she was ignoring him and that she was being disrespectful so he, like a prick, said, ‘Did no one teach you how to speak?’
She stood up, walked up to the whiteboard, grabbed his marker and wrote: ‘I am mute, you foolish idiot.’
Apparently, no one ever told the teacher that she had a disability.
But she was a legend for taking his marker out of his hand and writing that.”
Became An Infamous Killer
“I took a class with Seung-Hui Cho, the Virginia Tech shooter, one semester before the shooting. The class was called Contemporary Horror. It was a one-time elective offered by my favorite professor; We read horror novels and watched horror films and discussed the craft of creating scary stories, but also how they reflected or represented their era’s fears. It was a great class. There were only about 15 students and it was discussion heavy.
Cho was one of them. I honestly never noticed him, even in that small class, until halfway through the semester. He wasn’t quiet; he was silent. So on the day we all finally noticed him, our professor asked him something directly…and Cho just stared at him. I can’t remember the question, but the nature of it meant silence was potentially an acceptable and funny response. So we all laughed…Except for Cho. He just kept staring at our professor. Our laughter awkwardly died, and after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, our professor just said, ‘Oookay,’ and moved on. It was so strange. But I forgot about that weird moment until after his rampage.
That professor later told me that Cho’s papers had been disturbing, but the nature of our course meant the envelope was being pushed a bit, and it had never been bad enough to suggest he’d do what he did. That professor was a good man, and he admitted he struggled with not blaming himself on some level for 1) not identifying how severe Cho’s mental health problems were and 2) for the graphic and terrible nature of some of what we watched in that class which may have inspired Cho. He knew that was nonsense, but a part of him couldn’t help but feel some blame. It was terribly sad.”
Don’t Mess With Him Again
“In middle school, the quiet kid, Steven, had an archrival named Robbie. In class Robbie always seemed to come out on top of their little scuffles, mostly because Steven couldn’t really formulate or execute a ‘burn’ or a ‘comeback’. He just rolled over and let Robbie get his insults in until the teacher stepped in.
One day I was walking behind Robbie after that class and Steven quietly crept up behind him. Before Robbie could even turn around, he got as close as possible and said, ‘If I was to come into your house and kill you while you were sleeping, I doubt anyone would even notice…’ then he disappeared into the darkness of the science hallway.
I don’t remember the exact words, but that was pretty freaking close. I was about 55% shocked, 30% laughing hysterically on the inside, and 15% terrified. Robbie never made fun of ol’ Stevie again.”
His Heartwarming Goodbye
“There was this guy, named Carl. He was a middle-aged Asian man who was graduating from our rehab program. We didn’t even know it was his graduation day until he stood up to say his goodbye. We all got nervous because of all the things we’d been open about: violence, the worst things that had happened to us, and the worst things we’d done. Meanwhile, this diminutive man in thick glasses had literally never said a word.
He said something like, ‘I feel like each and every one of you is my family. No one has ever understood my pain and my struggle the way you people do. I love all of you. I mean that. I love all of you, so much. Thank you for everything.’
Blew my 22-year-old mind right out the front of my face. I have never since doubted that the quiet ones are participating in their way as much as the rest of us.”
His Secret Spiteful Humor
“When I was in football in high school, the varsity team (all the juniors and seniors) went to a ‘boot camp.’ During that boot camp, everyone camped out on the property of a cabin owned by one of the coaches. We got divided into teams, and there was a running competition for the duration of the camp; we would have various events or activities where we would compete for points. Most of them were things where we would have physical competition, such as races or tug of war, etc.
One day, the coaches decided to do something a little different and we all were tasked with having our teams perform some kind of skit with the coaches as judges. My team really had no idea what to do, but someone came up with the idea of having a guy, let’s call him Mike, give a speech.
Mike was one of the most soft-spoken guys I had ever met. I had played football with the guy for years, and he averaged about a sentence per week. We figured this would be brilliant because no one would see this coming. When we suggested it, he just grinned and said, ‘Ok, let’s do it.’
So, we went up to the ‘stage,’ and the rest of the team and I introduced Mike as a real stand up guy who was just awesome. Mike came on stage and proceeded to rip on us as lousy teammates who were incompetent and annoying. Everyone was so shocked at this, that they laughed until they cried, and we ended up winning first in that event.”
She Wasn’t Taking Any Of His Attitude
“There was this one quiet girl in my class. She would never say anything (this was around 3rd or 4th grade) but I would always try and get her to talk. I would be nice to her like when she had no paper in her binder I’d take notice and give her some before she could ask. When she was searching for a pencil in her bag I gave her an extra one I had. It was like small little acts, like picking up her pencil when she dropped it, etc.
Then at lunch, this kid was picking on me (I was short, weak, and very emotional back then) when she came out of nowhere and told the guy, ‘I’ll give you three seconds to walk away.’ I was stunned because those were the first words I’ve ever heard her say. The guy slapped me, and she did a straight kick to his groin after that. I was honored. And shocked she ever said anything. She never said anything after that but I did say thanks.”
He Should’ve Taken On The Challenge
“There was a quite kid in my algebra class. He would talk if you mentioned computers or video game so naturally, I got along with him pretty well.
One day, 3 upper-classmen were talking to him about why he was so quiet. He wasn’t saying much of anything and I couldn’t even hear him a couple desks away.
What I did hear:
Upperclassmen- ‘I’ll give you twenty dollars if you yell at the top of your lungs… ANYTHING.’
Quiet kid- ‘What? Why?’
UCM- ‘…because you’re so quiet…I just want to know if you can raise your voice.”
Quiet kid- ‘No, there’s no point.’
That kid literally turned down twenty dollars to challenge the norm about himself and all he would have had to do is yell.”
The Year-Long Assignment Kid
“The kid was quiet but joined Forensics (not the crime kind… the ‘do a short bit of acting for competition’ kind, usually goes hand-in-hand with debate). The kid was so quiet, that my teacher actually told me my year-long assignment would be to talk to him to get him to start talking.
The kid was funny. I thought he was insanely awesome. I’d heard about him from other people but never met him. He did cartoons and stop-animation and had the DEEPEST voice I’d ever heard. He had a bunch of elephant jokes on his calculator that made me laugh. I actually had a bit of a crush on him and thought he was cute, but I had a boyfriend and we were VERY different.
Anywho. He didn’t talk much. No matter how much I annoyed him.
I ended up spraining my ankle at some point and was sitting there, bugging him, trying to get him to react. He and I were the only ones in the room for some reason. In the midst of my annoying him, he grabbed my crutches and hobbled around the room, saying, ‘Oh, hello, I’m Kate and I’m so super annoying! I just talk and talk and talk and talk and no one can make me quit talking. Isn’t that funny?’ This went on for about two minutes, I’m rolling because it’s so out of character and he’s funny even if he’s making fun of me (I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB). He stops. People come back in the room.
No one saw it!!!! Except me!
We talked more TOGETHER after that, not just me blabbing at him with no reciprocation.
We are Facebook friends now and I will bring it up every now and then. He says he doesn’t remember that really, but I think he’s messing with me.
One of my favorite people ever.”
When Your Jam Comes On
“I was the quiet kid in this scenario:
I was a skinny, white kid and I was working at Jimmy John’s with a bunch of outgoing and loud kids. While we were closing, I was doing the dishes and everyone else was doing their jobs. When we would close, they would blare rap music through the restaurant speakers. They would always rap the words and be really loud during the songs. So during one of the songs, when it got quiet, I randomly just yelled at the top of my lungs, ‘WOOOO!! THIS IS MY SONG!’ And then I just went back to doing the dishes.
Everyone looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears.”
Surprises At The Senior Party Karaoke
“I went to middle school and high school with this boy named Daniel. Never once heard him say a word, a friend of mine said he would whisper sometimes.
The night of our senior party we heard some music coming over from the corner where the karaoke machine was set up. At first, no one really noticed him because people had been singing on it all night and most people stopped paying attention. But this was different because no one was singing and the music was playing, the DJ stopped the music and started the song again.
Daniel was standing there looking frightened but this time around when the song started…he began to sing. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and just crowded around him. He wasn’t a great singer by any means, but 99% of the people in the room hadn’t ever heard him talk. When the song was over everyone started clapping and cheering and he walked away with a big smile on his face.”
Throwing The Eminem Shade
“We sat in the classroom in 5th grade. My friend had done a powerpoint presentation about Eminem. He talked about how Eminem lived in a trailer as a young boy. And the quiet, straight-A student stood up and said, ‘Just like you.’ Then the quiet kid asked to use the toilet. No one understood anything of what had just happened.
We lived in North Europe…there is practically no one that lives in a trailer here. My friend didn’t.”