Sometimes, people make their advances as clear as possible and even STILL, they go right over the other person’s head.

Below are 27 stories of the most obvious hints that people have missed. Check them out!

27. Don’t shower twice!

I took this girl on date. I went to her dorm to pick her up all excited

Her: “I am just going to take a quick shower before we go out. Wanna join me?”

Me: “No thanks. I just took a shower before I came over here.”

photonicphacet

26. None of that, please.

Girl I was seeing casually, but had made my interest clear. She was, however, way out of my league. That said, we were on the couch watching a documentary she put on and put her head in my lap. It was nice, so I put my hand on her hip. She moved her hips so my hand slid into her crotch. I calmly put my hand back on her hip… Twice. About two weeks later it occurred to me what was happening.

Abadatha

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25. Call of Duty trumps all!

A girl I knew from back in middle school hit me up one day when I was about 16. She kept sending revealing photos of her and her friend and kept telling me I should come over and “hangout.” I’m talking like both of them in their underwear, covering each other’s boobies type shit. But this was around the time Modern Warfare 2 came out, so I decided to do that instead.

trophyscars777

24. Put it all on the table.

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?”

Not sure how I managed to misinterpret that, but I did.

LeodFitz

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23. Primal instincts kick in.

He leaned in for a kiss. I misinterpreted and headbutted him instead. We don’t talk.

Crocodile

22. Black & Yellow!

I wore a black/yellow shirt to school one day. The girl who sat next to me said “that’s a nice shirt.” “Thanks”, I replied. She says “It would look really good on my floor.” To which I had to think a second and said, “do you have a black and yellow floor or something?”

Also, while on a tinder date, she offers to walk me to my car. I asked her how she got there and she said Uber. We get all the way to my car and she was standing right by my passenger door and I say “so you want to get your Uber now or…?” I was genuinely being nice and offering to wait for her ride so she wasn’t waiting alone. I had no clue she was trying to get me to take her home or to her place.

My friends never let me live these down.

WhenImInMyMode

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21. Wouldn’t that be weird?

“It would be weird if I lost my virginity to you….. wouldn’t it? ” – beautiful girl I had been infatuated with for years.

Whenever I recall this moment I get such a powerful lump in my throat it feels as if all of the things I could have said are trying to force their way out.

MajorMustard

20. At least you were helpful!

A girl left her dildo on her bed when I went in her room and told me how she was tired of it and looking for something better. I then proceeded to pull up dildos on my phone and goddammit I’m an idiot.

camerondnls2

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19. Too tired for this.

I was neither young or naive. I was exhausted.

I was finishing up several weeks of trade shows and conventions. I spent most of that time flirting with a female sales rep on the same circuit. On the last night, I was worn out. I set the safety latch to hold door open while I got some ice. When I came back she was laying nekkid on my bed. I politely told her she was in the wrong room.

“No, this is the right room.”

I looked around, “No this is my room, yours is next door.” She got up, grabbed her towel and left. Then I poured the ice into my cooler, grabbed a beer and “NOOOOOOOOOO”

BlueStateBoy

18. Stop kidding around!

Was friends with this girl in college. We were hanging out at her apartment before some event. She went in her bedroom to change and after a couple of minutes asked if I could come in and help her with something.

I go in her room and she’s standing there. Naked. She asked me if I thought she had a nice body. I laughed and said yes. Then I told her she had to stop joking around or we would be late.

biggiefoxie

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17. Can’t get more straight-forward than that.

One time this hot girl I worked with took me away behind a corner, looked me in the eyes and literally said that she liked me.

She was older than me and we were good friends so I assumed she liked me as a friend. So I basically friendzoned her by will.

randy05

16. I realized…two years later.

Went to prom with a friend 2 years older than me. A couple days later, we go out to eat with other friends. They leave, and we walk back home because we live near each other. On the way there, he says “Hey you know, I uh… well… my sister gave me a stern warning about sex before prom haha. Yeah. So I uh, still have that condom she gave me haha… I was kind of planning on using it but I dunno.”

So naturally my response was to remark about the weirdness of his sister just whipping out a condom on the spot and how funny that would be.

I realized what he meant only 2 years later, when it just popped into my head one day and I realized. OH. He meant me.

Bullock

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15. You can do anything up there…

I’m English, and I was in a bar in Madison, WI. Spent the afternoon sitting at the bar whilst waiting for a friend, having some beers and talking to a super hot, friendly waitress.

After a few hours, and toward the end of her shift, She got to talking about her close by apartment which had a very secluded roof terrace which you could do ‘anything on without being seen’ (or something along those lines).

I remember replying by saying ‘Oh that sounds lovely, you’re very lucky’. I’m really not sure if it was an advance or she was just genuinely telling me about her nice apartment, but I think about it a lot.

Jurj_Clooners_

14. I got a jacket!

A friend of mine was walking with one of the hottest girls we know to get a textbook from a different class or something. She goes:

“I’m really cold”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cold out”

“I mean I’m cold because I’m wearing nothing under this shirt. Nothing.”

“Haha I’m not cold I’m wearing a jacket”

deathpool22

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13. That’s…not what I meant.

“Have you ever tried anal?”

I had not, and my nervous awkward brain decided to fuck around with me by making me tell her that I wasn’t cool with having something in my anus. My anus. I apologize for any of your foreheads that are now injured from desk impact.

asdhfkkl

12. Whoosh!

Walking home with a girl and she says to me that she thought she would have lost her virginity by now.

She says, “I guess I just need someone cool who I can experiment with.”

I nod my head, “yeah.”

She looks at me, “You’re pretty cool.”

I didn’t make the connection right away. I thought she was just giving me a compliment. About 20 minutes later,sitting in my dorm room, after we had parted ways I realized what she meant. No sex was had.

ANeonBlueDecember

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11. A foot-job?

Alone on her couch in a dark living room with only the light of the TV. She stretches her leg out and starts using her foot to rub my crotch until I got hard.

Kbdiggity

10. That is…straight-forward.

Sitting on couch with girl while eating chips/crisps from a bag . Girl then moves bag of chips to between her legs without me realizing , I dig in without knowing where the bag is , then I really dig in … and she’s smiling at me …. And starts to really choke the bag between her legs while looking down and then back at me for another odd smile

Later smoked weed and walked home high , then realized what had happened.

PUO-PUO

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9. Tacos are everything.

It was a Tuesday and I was a sophomore in high school and just had my first kiss with a senior girl. As we are sitting in her driveway kissing, she pulls away from me and says “My parents aren’t going to be home for awhile would you like to come in?” My response “My mom is making tacos and I should probably get home from dinner.” Poor girl look dumbstruck said her goodbye and went on her way. I was halfway home before I had realized my mistake. I still have yet to miss a taco Tuesday.

MonsterRanchDressing

8. Captain Hindsight.

I was 18 and at the time, it had just finished snowing where I lived. Got dressed up in my winter gear and headed outside to explore my neighbor hood a little after midnight. I was was about 3 blocks from my house and two girls that I knew from high school approach me holding/drinking a bottle of wine. They asked me what I was doing outside and I told them, and then they proceeded to invite me to their house and they kept telling me that their parents were gone, I fed them some bogus excuse that I had to be back home.

Hindsight is 20/20, but even if it was just an invitation to drink with some pretty girls at the time. I still should’ve taken it. Meh.

ChesterTheContester

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7. Must’ve been a great movie!

My best friend in high school randomly started playing with my penis during a movie just wondering what she would have to do to make it hard. I laughed at her and kept watching the extremely enthralling American Pie movie. I was a moron.

redgoesfaster

6. Pay attention!

Clearing out a pub at the end of a night, group of Yuppie with a couple of hot women… I get the empty glasses and one of the women said something to which I replied “I just want to get done and go home”… Then she said “I never ask twice”.

I was 10 feet away heading back to the bar when it dawned on me that she’d said “You are cute, do you want to come back to my place?”

My internal monologue was “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” for about a month.

Long_Tall_Man

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5. Thumbs up for that!

I have two.

The first one was after a party that had ended up in a water fight. One of the girls I was friends with had gotten soaked and went downstairs to change out of her shirt. I didn’t realize she was there, and I went down to hang up my shirt. I get there and she’s exactly putting on a replacement shirt her friend had given her. I make some comment like “damn, I’m too late.” She smiles at me, and takes off her shirt. I give her a thumbs up and walk back upstairs.

The other one was with this girl I met while backpacking in Europe. I was in a small hostel in Slovenia and had met this pretty blonde. We hit it off smashingly, and spent the next few days hanging out intermittently. There was definitely some sexual tension, but she had a boyfriend and, besides, we were in a hostel with a third person so sex would’ve been difficult. On the last night we spent together, we talked for hours before heading back to the room. Except the third person had checked out, and it was just us two. I go to my bunk and she goes to the third bed. We chat a bit and I mention how I hate bunk beds. She says “oh… you should come sleep here…” and I thought she was just being nice to me and offering up a bed. I refused, saying that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep sharing such a small bed.

I am not a smart man.

herpityderpdoo

4. I can only give you so many hints…

In high school a group of us all went to a lake and had a bit of a party. One girl, I had only talked to once before, kept talking to me the whole time. I was happy to talk to her and she kept asking odd questions like

“How should I warm up?” and “You can’t see through this shirt, can you?”

I was oblivious to what was happening, even after she asked me to give her a ride home and I mentioned she had got a ride from her friend… ya.

I did end up giving her a ride home. She invited me in and said “I’m going to get into something dry.” and went into the bathroom. About 2 minutes go by and she says she forgot a towel and asks me to get her one, so I do. she opens the door wearing just her bra and panties and thanks me, then just stands there with her the towel to her side…. and I go back to the living room.

I’m suprized it didn’t end there.

She did eventually yell for me from her room to come there. When I did she was naked and standing next to the bed.

She threw her hands up and said “Do you understand now?!?” it only took me about 10 seconds to figure it out…

God, I was an idiot that day.

MinerOfStarDust

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3. At least the laptop got fixed.

Got what I did not realize was a booty call. Friend of a friend type deal, we’d only ever hung out at events where our to peer groups happened to meet up, honestly didn’t even know she had my number. She calls me late one night says she’s got a paper due the next morning and her laptop just died. Wanted to know if I could come over and help. I’m thinking poor girl must have gone trough everyone else before calling me and head over. I get there and she’s in boy shorts and a wife beat, I’m thinking this must be what she lounges in. Sit down at the laptop and promptly discover a virus. She was not expecting this. Take me a good hour to fix everything, I thanked for the opportunity it was a new virus so it was interesting, I was also embarrassed it took me so long and bounced.

tdasnowman

2. Can I model this for you?

“I got some new lingerie. May I model it for you” this was in high school in my house when everyone else was gone for the day. She also showed me how she accidentally brought a condom over in her bag. I still didnt get it.