As a teacher you meet a lot of kids. Some that you know will go on to great things, and others you hope just make it through the day. Here 31 of those questions from those students.
1. Two Suns, Two Moons, Too Crazy
I was asked by a crying student once if there was a second moon. We were outside for recess and as happens sometimes, the moon was visible. I said Nope, why and she pointed to the moon and asked but aren’t the sun and the moon the same thing?
She was crying because the other kids were making fun of her for thinking the sun and the moon were the same thing. After I explained to her the sun did not turn into the moon at night and then back into the sun in the morning (she actually thought the moon was the sun ‘turned off’), I did an impromptu science lesson that afternoon with the whole class.
earthgarden
2. It’s Not A River In Egypt Either!
A student of mine asked if Asia was a town in China, and, assuming that she was right, said that it was crazy that so many people from our school came from one town.
taitosmate
3. Special Boots
I once projected a picture of the Earth onto the front white board. A student asked, “How do astronauts stand on a planet like that?”
Seminolesoldier2620
4. The Great Squares Of Giza
Had a student ask me “What are those pyramid-shaped things in Egypt called?” Never seen a class laugh that hard before.
mamaisinhere
5. Brains Of Mud
As a high school biology teacher, a 16 year old student once asked me “Wait, aren’t rhinos made of mud?”
Jruff
6. This Checks Out.
In a sex ed class: “Do vaginas have tastebuds?” Everyone looks at him like what is going through your head… “Well why else would they make flavored condoms?”
policesiren7
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7. But What Of The Men?
9th grade ELA, a few chapters into Of Mice And Men:
“What kind of work does George do on the farm?”
“I’m not sure. Probably the same work that everyone else is doing.”
“Oh. It must be hard for him to help out, since he’s a mouse.”
Uh_I_Say
8. Bummer Dude!
At the college mid term, I had a guy comes up to me that I’ve never seen in class. He proceeded to ask me what his grade is. Checked the sheet, he never turned in a single piece of homework, no quizzes, never attended a test. What did you think you’d have? You’ve got a solid F.
Azten
9. Seriously, Why Do They?
After a lengthy explanation of the effects of volcanic eruptions on human communities, I had a grade 6 student ask me why on earth people even make volcanic eruptions.
Imagineamelon
10. It’s Right THERE
While I was student teaching, I had a student ask where Texas was on the map I was projecting on the screen. The map was of China.
AllTaints18
11. And What’s With Question Marks?
Private writing instructor. A couple of years ago, I had a student ask me if commas were real or imaginary. He was equally dubious about semicolons, which he referred to as “imitation periods”.
JustZoni
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12. Salt-N-Pepa Knew What Was Up
In 7th grade science class during sex ed they were talking about oral sex. Mormon girl in class “wait you can get an STD just from talking about sex?” I wouldn’t call the question stupid, just no exposure at all to the topic beforehand.
Slightmeatsweats
13. They Are As Real As You Believe They Are
My mom is a teacher’s assistant in a 5th grade class. A few weeks ago a girl asked,”Are bears still real?”
deepfriedkelp
14. A Real Sea Captain Here
How do islands not float away? Really big anchors. He wrote it down.
Mjrfrankburns
15. Vicious Warmongers, The Lot Of Them
When I was a student teacher I was just finishing up a 2 week unit on WW2. I gave the students 5 minutes before the test to look over their notes and/or ask me any questions before we start it. One of the kids in the front raises her hand and asks “OK, so who were the Allies?”
She pronounced it like the girl’s name Allie.
[deleted]
16. Good Work Mr. Miyagi
I teach martial arts to little kids, I had a kid ask me if he could punch his mom now.
jennytopssky
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17. They Are More Like Bushes
A girl in my honors science class asked the teacher, and was 100% serious, if ramen grew on ramen trees.
SaxyMatt
18. Follow The What?
This came up all the time when teaching kids how to do their taxes. I must have had this conversation a dozen times.
Student: Sir, I don’t know what to do at this part.
Me: What does the instruction say on that line?
Student: Add box 23 and 24 and write the answer here.
Me: So add box 23 and 24?
mousicle
19. Solid Logic
After a massive water shortage: “Can’t we just fill up the reservoir with tap water?”
[deleted]
20. Congress Shall Pass No Law….
While discussing the bill of rights:”If we got the right to bear arms, why can’t we wear tank tops in school?” Brilliant.
itsmeclooney
21. It’s Not The WORST Guess, Right?
Im not a teacher but in 8th grade I had a classmate argue that Martin Luther King freed the slaves. When I tried to correct her she flipped out and started screaming, name calling, etc.
Higher_higher
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22. Florida Has The Best Sun
Had a pupil ask me if the Sun they saw in America was the same as the Sun we saw here in Scotland, and why was their Sun so much warmer.
Connelly90
23. Ask Lawrence Taylor
“How old do you have to be to smoke crack?” A fellow student at Waukegan circa 1988.
ltocadisco
24. Everyday. This Is Life, Everyday.
I once heard a student say “you actually believe in evolution? So you think monkeys just decided not to turn into people?” to another student and the I basically looked into the camera like I was on the office, so to speak.
knock_out123
25. Burn Baby Burn
Not a teacher, but in my senior year of high school I was in a personal finance class. The teacher explained that not paying your taxes could get you incarcerated. Student: “So if you don’t pay your taxes, the government will light you on fire?!” Teacher: “No, incarcerated means to imprison. You’re thinking of incinerated” Student: “Oh. Wait, then what’s taxidermy?”
purdue_pete33
26. The Walking Dead Is A Documentary
As part of teaching U.S. Government I ran a zombie apocalypse scenario where the students had to respond to an ongoing crisis in real-time using the actual powers of the government as different parts of the government. It was my favorite activity all semester and I went all in, including with a large map of the U.S. that would be updated for every day that passed.
As part of this activity I prepared a handout of a fake news story about the zombie apocalypse beginning in our home town. It had pictures of zombies shambling around and was written all newspaper style.
One day, after handing these out, an 18 year old student raised their hand and said “Mr. Smith, did this really happen?”
CrowSage
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27. It’s Not?
Not a teacher but in 8th grade sex-ed class, we had a box where students could submit questions anonymously. One day, the teacher read aloud one of the questions which asked, “My dad’s penis is circumcised but mine is not. Does this mean he isn’t my dad?” Yes, he believed circumcision was hereditary.
Jonnieboychoi
28. My Head Hurts
I was in high school in health class while going over reproduction there was a fellow student who raised her hand and asked if you were sterile, could you pass it on to your children. The whole class giggled and she, confused, said she was serious, she wanted to know if you’re sterile could you pass it on to your kids. The teacher, with a smile, said to her “OK, let’s think about this. What does it mean to be sterile?”
She began answering “It means that you can’t have k…OHHHHH!” – followed by another round of laughter from the rest of the class.
SandwormSlim
29. Stop Badmouthing 3rd Graders
Not really a teacher, but I’m a Federal Budget Analyst and had to train a new employee who had apparently been working in budgets for 20 years or so, so should have been able to quickly pick things up. She wasn’t…..when I finally got her on the right track with our year end financial reports, I told her she was close but her numbers were off, so double check them. She responded with “Well, wouldn’t someone else just fix that?” Uh no…that’s exactly what you get paid to do, so you need to put the CORRECT numbers in the report so we can publish it. What on earth would we do with almost correct financial reports? The next day she just couldn’t figure it out, and I said “you’re really close, it’s probably just rounding” she said, “Does it matter? How do you know when you should round it up or down?” I said, yes it matters, just use normal rounding rules! She asked what those are….I very slowly said, “…you know….0.5 or higher your round up?” She had never been familiarized with that apparently. In the end I really felt like I would have been better off teaching a 3rd grader.
MademoiselleFromage
30. But What About STEVE Guttenberg?
Taught English/Literature in a Juvenile Justice long term treatment facility. I have many great stories.
Me: This is a map of the United States. Here is the midwest–it’s where your math teacher is from. Student: Oh snap. We’re in a war with them.
Me: Are you thinking about the middle east? Student: Oh yeah, is that a different place?
Me: (Playing a trivia game with students) Johannes Gutenberg invented what? Student: (Shoots his hand up in the air quickly before I even finished the question and very sure of his answer) Cheese!
Elipsis_
31. But Everyone Else…
If you didn’t pass, you had to go back through the course. Well, I had a dude go through my class 4 times. FOUR. Here’s the conversation we had before his 3rd exam:
Guy: “What attempt am I on?”
Me: “Wait.. what?”
Guy: “Well, I’ve taken the test twice, but everyone else in here hasn’t taken it, so am I taking my test for the first time or the third time?”
Me: “What do you think?”
Guy: “I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.”
Dude thought that he might be on his first attempt because he was back in a class with a bunch of people who were on theirs.
jbuch