Bosses Share The Silliest Reason They've Had To Fire An Employee

In the infamous words of Donald Trump…

This gif would be a lot more humorous if Trump wasn’t in office. If only he’d kindly fire himse *thinks of brilliant idea* – wait a second. I think I’m on to something…

Care to read more stories? Find the original source thread at the end of the article.

“Talking on the shop phone.

I was managing a coffee shop at the time and was in the office doing payroll, and ordering. I got a call from my boss on my cell phone asking why he kept getting a busy signal when he called our location.

I went down to the shop and theres a line of customers out the door with my one employee completely ignoring them and chatting away on the phone.

I chastise her and get to work making drinks. I ended up serving a good handful of them and giving 50% off for the rest. Once it had slowed down one of my favorite regulars came to me and said that my employee had been on the phone the whole time as the line built up, talking explicit details about oral techniques.

Her excuse was that ‘that witch shouldnt have been eavesdropping on me.’ I fired her that day.”

“We had someone call off work because his mother had passed away and it was no problem, we told him take time to be with his family.

He then told us he felt guilty because he lied about it, he just wanted a few paid days off.”

“It was this high school kid’s first day of work at Burger King. He was there for about an hour or two when I told him to pick up trash outside by the tables and drive-thru. He totally lost his crap. ‘I’M NOT DOING THAT! I DIDN’T SIGN UP TO PICK UP TRASH. HOW DARE YOU!?’

I fired him instantly, and he practically ripped off his work shirt, threw it on the ground, and started stomping on it. Then he ran out while he was still screaming at me. I was in shock the whole time.”

“My sister got fired at her job as a cashier for asking customers if she could ‘have a small bite’ of their food.”

“Watching adult films on a work computer. Not only is it immediately flagged, it’s incredibly simpleminded.”

“A coworker at my apprenticeship had only 3 weeks to his degree. He stole a bunch of expensive metal. Just to sell it to a scrap yard a few kilometers away for like 10% of it’s worth. He got caught selling it on video footage. So he threw away a 3 year apprenticeship for maybe 50.”

“Back in my retail days I had to constantly remind an employee to take a shower, and comb his hair, and not play Crazy Train by Ozzy over the speakers…everyday…it became too much.”

“It was a relaxed retail gig. A worker who was maxed out on unexcused absences called in sick to watch a Sunday basketball game on T.V.

His team was losing so he came into work to visit with his coworkers. They were all really close. He didn’t come to work to work, he came in to hang out with his coworkers while they worked and picked up the slack for him.

I had to explain to him that he couldn’t just come to work if he was sick and that he had to go home. He didn’t want to leave so he admitted to lying about being sick so he could watch the game.

I then asked him why the heck he showed up at work still.

He figured since he already called in sick, he had a day off to do whatever instead of working so he was bored and thought he’d come see what we were up to.

He was a really sweet guy, but a bit of an attention seeker and not very smart. I felt bad for firing him but it wasn’t fair to his coworkers who worked really hard to pick up his slack. They still tease him about it till this day.”

“I gave a young friend of the family a job at a parking garage from like 6 to 2 am. He just had to sit there and make sure no one messed anything up, destroyed equipment, vandalized, etc.

So, she decided to throw a party there, smoked out my office with all her friends, trashed the office, then lost the keys to the facility.

It cost hundreds of dollars to change the locks. She was given 10$ an hour to sit there, watch T.V or whatever. And she said ‘screw that, I’m going to mess this up royally.’

Another time, I gave an ex-convict a chance as a doorman at a hospital. He worked till 10 pm. Until one night after his shift security caught him in the basement of the hospital with a hand truck full of thousands of dollars of baby formula, taking it to his car.

Apparently he had been wheeling the stuff out for weeks and had a pretty good side income. He came to me the next day, apologized and asked if I could save his job. Because he really needed it and he swore he’d never find another job that pays him so well because he was an ex-con. I thought about that a little too late. I told him he’ll be lucky if he doesn’t go back inside, but no way he’s keeping his job.”

“I know a friend who works in the food business. They had a guy who dropped a block of cheese on the floor, didn’t tell anyone, and proceeded to grind it up and serve it to customers.

No one became sick to the best of my friend’s knowledge, but corporate happened to be reviewing the security cameras and caught him. It would have been so much better if he had just discarded the cheese.”

“A guy I knew in Information Technology was told never to press a big red button. He was explicitly told it would shut down all the digital systems in the warehouse. It was a digital failsafe and reboot that took several hours to shut everything down.

Later that month he pressed the button to see how it worked, shutting down the warehouse for several hours worth of rebooting.

The red button has a glass case now.”

“Warehouse manager here. Youll find an endless supply of hilarious firing or ‘walking out’ stories from logistics and supply chain professionals. I recently walked out a temporary employee who, on his first day, told a female employee he wanted to lick her up and down like a lollipop.

For the entire 5 minute walk to the front of the building, I was trying to help him understand what was wrong with what he said. He still left sad and confused. “

“I managed a used game store and this guy was a great worker, showed up on time and everything, but he started stealing.

He decided that the best thing to steal was gaming consoles…that we keep track of with serial numbers…and then sell the consoles, to the same store chain. Surprise, surprise…I got a call ‘this console was traded in twice without ever being sold?’

He was arrested the next day.”

“This didn’t happen to me but my dad and it was quite some time ago. My dad was a metallurgist and his company made control rods for nuclear reactors. The rods are cadmium plated to keep them from corroding in the reactor. Cadmium plating is black. I think it was an electroplating process and if the surface of the rod is not properly degreased, the cadmium will not bond.

The line workers on the factory floor are trained but I guess you never can tell how well. Apparently one guy did not degrease the rods well enough and there were shiny spots with no cadmium. He didn’t want to get fired so he used black marker to fill in those spots. Luckily quality assurance discovered it.

But yeah, he was fired.”

“So this guy was a bit of a slime ball, but the guests seemed to like it. He messed up a pay rise he’d been working for a few months prior.

One day he called in sick, we all knew he had a few issues so he was told to take his time and keep us updated.

The manager called him a few times in the following weeks to check up on him and he was still sick.

Until one morning, the manager work up to a voicemail from said sick guy, left at roughly 3 am. It turns out his dealer and the manager had the same first name and he’d called the wrong one. Needless to say he was fired immediately.”

“I managed a small cafe and worked 12 hour days, sometimes by myself. I had a coworker that was just…well, not very smart. She was a sweet girl, but just had the lights off up there. It was sort of an open secret that she would go on dates with men for money (she once told me about going to Bermuda with a guy she didn’t really like but he was taking her to Bermuda so she put up with him).

I hadn’t seen my closest friends in the longest time, so we made plans to meet up for lunch one afternoon and I asked her to cover some of my shift.

I worked from 6:30 am to 6:30 pm and I asked her to come in at 11 am, with her relief coming in at 4. She agreed, I made the arrangements, and we were good.

Come the day, I’m super excited to see my friends. 11 rolls around, and she’s not there. Okay, whatever, maybe she was running a little late. 11 becomes 11:30 which becomes noon and I’m texting her asking where she is and texting my friends that I’m not coming. The girl lives right down the street so she isn’t stuck in traffic or anything. We are literally a block away from each other.

I start calling her, but it just rings.

I’m texting her, leaving voicemails, calling our boss and telling her what’s happening, and just absolutely furious that this is happening. Finally, I leave a voicemail that tells her that if she’s not going to bother showing up for her shift, she’s better not showing up at all.

FINALLY around 2 pm, she calls me. ‘Oh I can tell by your texts and voicemail that you’re mad.’ Heck yeah I’m mad. I ask where she’s been, why didn’t she come in, and she tells me a friend was willing to pay her a lot of money to fly her out to Denver to redecorate his house, and since it was so last minute she didn’t have time to tell me.

I explode. I tell her she had at least two hours before she boarded her flight to call me (TSA at LAX takes forever) and at least an hour before that because of the drive. A three hour window is plenty of time to tell me you’re screwing me over. I tell her not to bother coming in for any more shifts, and spent the rest of my shift just fuming. I did manage to meet up with my friends, but the day was just absolutely ruined.

The owner officially fired her a few days later when she came back, citing the same reasons.”

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Points are edited for clarity.