1.
my dad just knocked over my model Death Star and broke itbut he did not apologizehe said people should stop making Death StarsI’m shaking
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 26, 20152.
uncle lando said my helmet made me look like a depressed lampshade and then everyone laughed and high-fived himi hate this family so much
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 25, 20153.
dear diarytoday hux and I took a quiz to find our hogwarts houseshe got slytherin I got hufflepuff the first time but it was a mistake
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 25, 20154.
current status: in a sarlacc pit but emotionally
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 25, 20155.
what’s the word for when your father is frozen in carbonite but emotionally for your whole childhood
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 29, 20156.
*gestures**door opens*yes Rey you see when you are as powerful as I you can do these things”kylo that was an automatic door”
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 31, 20157.
*approaches you at party**clears throat*has anyone ever told you your eyes are the color of Darth Vader’s helmet glinting in the moonlight
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) January 1, 20168.
i told my dad he should let me get my license since I share DNA with the best starpilot in the galaxyhe was touched but I meant darth vader
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) January 2, 20169.
sometimes i wish i weren’t an only childbut mom says when you have siblings weird things can happen
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) January 3, 201610.
i hate everything pic.twitter.com/KThW6oSwNB
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) January 4, 201611.
dear diarythe stupid ewoks are visiting againit’s torturewe have had to sing “yub nub” three timesI never asked to be part of this tribe
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 30, 201512.
my dad thinks he’s so good at fixing things but he isn’t really Darth Vader could fix anything
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 27, 201513.
*constructs a new lightsaber to cut the crusts off his sandwiches*
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 26, 201514.
i wish more words rhymed with darth vader I guess not every poem needs to rhyme
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 24, 201515.
mom please check your texts i had a fit of extreme power and rage where i mistakenly force-crushed my retainer
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 24, 201516.
*indignantly removes wookiee hair from his black outfit with a lint roller* dad i told you that couch was off limits to him
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 201517.
*spends a whole afternoon unsuccessfully struggling to open a cling-wrapped My Chemical Romance cd*
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 201518.
i miss darth vader every day but i’ve never even met him
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 201519.
dad the wookiee used all my garnier fructis
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 201520.
just once i wish my dad would respond to “I love you” with “I love you too” mom too for that matter
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 23, 201521.
Darth Vader had no fatherI envy him
Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015with your friends!